hey ya'll. i desperately need some help and insight to what im going through right now. im 35, he's 30. i really dont know what to do and i hope an outsider can at least shed some knowledge to me, since im so blinded by this situation. i really need help with this.
about 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend whom i LOVED very much of 2.5 years stopped talking to me for a week. we got into a fight, like we had been for the last month. i sent him a long email pretty much spilling everything what was wrong in our relationship after his silence, and was really distraught that he couldnt even offer me any closure to this. we fight a lot for reasons that stemmed to him pulling away emotionally, his internet porn habit and, quite frankly, our lack of intimicy. he's been selfish for the last 6 months and it's really dragged me down and my confidence had hit an all time low. i am NOT an unconfident person, mind you. so in that email i said that ive had it, and him not speaking to me or dealing with this just proves how selfish he is. that its always about him.
well, the next day he calls me. tells me he's not happy and wants to break up. i was SHOCKED. i couldnt believe that he didnt even want to work things out. BUT i am a grown woman, and took it for what it was, and said ok after asking if this is REALLY what he wanted. he said it was. fine. NC began.
i broke NC a week into it, sending an email on friday night telling him that i missed him terribly. i couldnt help it. i did. I DO! i mean, we've spent so much time together and i thought he was the one i would marry. ive never felt this way about any other man ive dated. ever. well, he calls me the next day and we speak about what we've been up to that week. nothing serious at all, just catch up for about a half hour. he said he had to go. i said bye.
this afternoon, his best friend calls me. i talk to him and tell him im depressed because the love of my life broke up with me. he was shocked that this was the first hes ever heard of it. Yep. his friend wasnt even informed and they talk every day. so 2 weeks. he tells his best friend nothing. he was upset and couldnt understand why he had done that. he said we were his favorite couple ever. i get off the phone with him, do some things around the house then go to my friends house.
i checked my email there and saw an email sent from him. saying he just tried to call me. whatever, i wasnt home. so i got back home, saw that he tried to call twice, so i called him back. he sounded in such a good mood, our conversation was awesome but we didnt even touch upon any personal issues again. this went on for about an hour. i kept thinking to myself. awesome. he wants to get back together with me. we're meeting up in 2 days to hang out and also asked me if i still wanted to go to his parents house for Thanksgiving. i was so happy. mind you, I LOVE HIS FAMILY, though he doesnt. i said YES.
so im happy and smiling then i text his friend the update. well, his friend calls me back all pissed and said, that's BULLSH*T. i said, what. he said that BULLSH*T. he said he talked to him today, told him he spoke with me and said i told him that he dumped me and if it was true. and my ex-bf said, yeah, didnt i tell you that. and then he dropped the subject. so now my ex-bf's best friend tells me not to give in too easily and ask for an explanation of why he wants to see me and have me go to THanksgiving dinner with his family.
i am DEVISTATED and CONFUSED. i dont know what to do or think. im thinking he's now using me just to feel better about himself. what am i to think? what the hell is going on here? do i even meet up with him in 2 days?
can someone please fill me in because i am too blind to see the facts.
i really appreciate all of your responses. i am losing it.
