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Ellie2006

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Everything posted by Ellie2006

  1. Ellie2006
    I agree with what most of the other posters have already said; love is encompassing and infinite -- just bc you love your children, this does not mean you will have less love for your spouse. Perhaps your definition of "infidelity" is a bit skewed?? I do want to say that I think your idea of making sure to go out on dates w/ your spouse is a great one! Your status as co-parents is just as important as that of each other's lovers. Just my two cents.
  2. Ellie2006
    Hey there Ryan, If you don't mind my asking: how will finding out the truth about a) if your ex may (or may not) have cheated and that b) she may (or may not) be trying to make you jealous (??) right now by bringing up this other guy help you get over this breakup? IMHO, these are all moot points now that you're broken up; easier said than done, I know, but if answers to the questions above will not help you move on, how about letting them go? Best wishes to you, Ellie ps. Have you considered going the NC route (i.e. no access to her myspace)?? Just my two cents worth.
  3. Ellie2006
    Hey there Amystar, It's okay! Breathe! Let's not jump to conclusions before we have all the facts. Amy, I apologize for not being more familiar w/ your story but do you have any reason to suspect him of cheating? Seeing as that it's only been a couple days since you guys got back together, let this slide for now, especially if you have NO concrete evidence to support your suspicion of his cheating. If you both are serious about making things work this time around, in my humble opinion, I do believe you must begin by addressing the issues that broke you guys up in the first place and re-assessing what went wrong before so that you both do not make the same mistakes. What do you think? Hang in there Amystar! I am sure he will contact you soon. Hugs, Ellie
  4. Ellie2006
    Hey there, Welcome to Enotalone! Just my two cents worth but considering that it's only been 3 weeks since he broke up w/ his ex, wouldn't you say he's not fully over the breakup as yet? Would you consider giving him some time and space till he fully recovers from the breakup?
  5. Ellie2006
    Mr. Stealth, Like you, I am in the process of healing and can't wait for this process to be over and done with! I remain in limited contact w/ my ex, and let me tell you, this does not make things any easier ... Contact sucks just as much as no contact w/ an ex "Time heals all wounds" -- this is such a cliche but I am holding on to this saying for dear life, hoping that it will prove to be true in the end. Let's hang in there, Mr. Stealth.
  6. Ellie2006
    Hi Lovely2400, Welcome to Enotalone. I am sorry to hear that you're hurting right now. I think it's good that you're keeping yourself busy. If the break-up was recent, it is natural that your ex is still on your mind. BUT I truly believe time heals all wounds. Please hang in there and know that we're here to help in any way we can. Take care of yourself and please be extra kind to yourself while you heal. Best wishes to you, Ellie
  7. Ellie2006
    ES, I relate so much to this poem as well. Fear has kept me "wrapped" up in other people's hopes, dreams, expectations for so long that at times, I confused these hopes, dreams, and expectations as my own. Sometimes, I thought that this fake exterior protected me from the "real" me, an absolute absense of essense. Even as I recognize how much this faux wrapping hurt me, I now understand my contribution to the maintenance of these lies ... ES, you know what, though? The "real" us -- under all that wrapping -- is not nothing. And making yourself vulnerable by losing the fake exterior ... I've found it to be very ... liberating at times ... Would you consider trying it some time?
  8. Ellie2006
    Hey SG, Long time no see! I am so sorry to hear that you're having a terrible day You are *not* pathetic. I do not want you to even go there! Holidays, while a joyful season, unwittingly brings up many memories, both good and bad ... Easier said than done, I know, but focus on the present, rather than the past. Are you off from work until early January? Could you take a short (day) trip nearby? How about taking a walk around town? How about pampering yourself -- a massage, a new haircut, a manicure, a facial, a relaxing bubble bath, or all of the above Hang in there SG and good to see you again! Take care SG and happy holidays!
  9. Ellie2006
    Hey Rowboat, A lovely poem. Admittedly, it get a bit cliched in some places (sorry to be so blunt! but I especially loved these lines: "The brilliance is / So exclusively you" Keep writing! Ellie 1:
  10. Ellie2006
    Hi there, Depending on your height, you may not need to lose weight at all. Rather than focusing on weight loss, per se, how about reshifting your focus to getting more healthy? I am stating the obvious here but exercise is a great way to release job-related stress, to become more healthy, and of course, to lose weight. I lead a very sedentary lifestyle (as I spend most of the day at my desk) so I try to schedule in exercise time 3~4 times a week. Good luck!
  11. Ellie2006
    DN, you're right; this didn't even occur to me Actually, I was thinking that lmtl's ex would perhaps read it as an *impolite* gesture to send back a gift?? And then he would use this as an excuse to contact her again?? Lmtl, as some of the others have pointed out above, if you'd feel the most comfortable NOT receiving this from him, then you should send it back. I only suggested doing nothing bc I was perhaps too focused on maintaining NC and you keeping your distance from the ex. If you feel as though your ex is going to disregard your request for NC (regardless of whether you keep or send back the gift card), then you should consider sending it back w/ a brief note (as you intended in your original post). Sorry for being so wishy-washy! Merry Christmas and best wishes to you in the upcoming year!
  12. Ellie2006
    Imtl, 13 days of NC! You're doing great! Hang in there and Merry Christmas
  13. Ellie2006
    Hi IMTL, I rarely disagree w/ DN's advice but this time, I respectfully disagree and ask you to consider maintaining NC. Given your past difficulties in maintaining NC w/ your ex, it may be better not to respond at all? If you do not want the gift card, maybe you can give it to someone or even consider throwing it away. My reason for suggesting that you consider maintaining NC rather than sending the gift card back with a brief note: on the one hand, you may get the message accross about where you stand, but on the other hand, don't you think this may prompt him to contact you back w/ a comment that you may feel compelled to respond to etc etc ... Given that he went against your request for no more contact by sending this Christmas card, he may just as easily break NC again, which may make it difficult for you to keep up w/ NC. And I do believe that maintaining distance from him is key at this juncture. Just my two cents worth. Best wishes to you this holiday season, Ellie
  14. Ellie2006
    Hey there, I agree w/ what most of the posters have said above: please do not pursue this any further. Not only is it a futile pursuit for you but it is rather disrespectul towards her. Also, I respectfully disagree w/ some of the posters who suggested that you keep asking her out in hopes that perhaps she'll change her mind. Well, think of it this way; if a guy keeps asking you out, even after you've indicated to him that you are straight, how would you feel? Unless you are bisexual, would you appreciate his advances or even take his advances as serious?
  15. Ellie2006
    Cingar, For what it's worth, I think you made the right decision. Christmas is a time to rejoice and celebrate w/ loved ones; I hope you have a wonderful and a memorable Christmas w/ your two lovely boys! Merry Christmas.
  16. Ellie2006
    S, If that's the case then I would not worry so much about not having sent them the Christmas card in time. Also, I am glad your mom will be able to drop them off for you! Well, glad to know things are going well w/ your new gf! Happy holidays and hope you have a great 2007!
  17. Ellie2006
    S, If I may ask: what's bugging you most about NOT having sent over the Christmas cards in time? a) You feel rude NOT to have sent a card when her family sent you one b) You are worried that your ex may think you've lost interest in her bc you did not send her a card? If it is the former, I am sure they will appreciate your card, even though they receive it a bit late. (Maybe you can add a Happy New Year, if you haven't already done so) So why do you feel like you "NEED" to give her these cards? What do you aim to achieve by sending her these cards?
  18. Ellie2006
    Mitch, I agree w/ what Skippy says above: I think you should first discuss this matter with your adoptive parents. How do they feel about your search? Are they supportive? Are they feeling hurt by your search (and is this, perhaps, why they are not fully sharing all the information w/ you)? Please do give a consideration to acknowledging your adoptive parents' feelings and their significance in your life. That said: yes, try to get as much information from your adoptive parents as possible -- your birth parents' names, the adoption agency (both in Australia and in Thailand), and etc. etc. THEN contact the adoption agency and see what information they can offer you BEFORE you leave for Thailand. Also see if they can connect you to their Thailand contact so that you will have someone to go to when and if you decide to go to Thailand. You do NOT want to be in a foreign country without anyone to turn to, especially if you do not speak the language. Also, see if there is a support group for people in a similar situation as you and see if they are willing to help you in your search; in other words, someone who will give you help and support in the process of your search for your biological parents and after you arrive in Thailand. Rozi makes a good point as well; make sure you have enough money to get there and come back should your first search turn out to be futile. I do not mean to sound negative (sorry) but you may not be able to locate your biological parents on your very first visit and it may take you a while to find them. Visiting Thailand sounds great; perhaps even if on this particular trip you may or may not be able to find your biological parents, I think it would be a great opportunity to learn more about Thailand. And before you go, please be fully prepared -- financially, emotionally, etc etc -- for anything and everything. My two cents worth. Good luck to you!
  19. Ellie2006
    JYAG, Anemia (or "without blood") occurs when the level of healthy red blood cells in the body becomes too low. Listen, sweetie, please don't worry prematurely The reason for your symptoms may lie elsewhere. So don't worry for now but please do consider consulting with a doctor, who's the only one in a position to give you the most accurate diagnosis. I hope you feel better soon, JYAG! Hugs, Ellie
  20. Ellie2006
    JYAG, I do not wish to discount a spiritual reason for what you're experiencing. First, though, maybe we can consider if there are physical reasons? Are you eating enough and healthily? Are you getting enough rest? Now, I sometimes have experienced something similar but *mine* is set off by my anemia. Have you considered discussing this with your doctor?
  21. Ellie2006
    Again, from my limited perspective, I think the son should first acknowledge his wrongdoings to himself and his father, sincerely asking for his father's forgiveness. Then the son should do all that he can to make the rest of his father's life comfortable. Also, Jaffa's suggestion of helping other elderly people sounds like one way to demonstrate his penitence. BUT this should be done out of compassion for these elderly people, and should NOT be considered as a punishment for himself for hurting his parents the way that he did.
  22. Ellie2006
    Just my two cents worth but forgiveness should come from two sources: those who were wronged -- the parents & the one who wronged The forgiveness, IMO, should be premised on the son's genuine entreaty for repentance.
  23. Ellie2006
    Hey there, I agree w/Ilse; it is most likely the distance that is driving your feelings of distrust. As of now, there does not seem to be anything concrete to validate your feelings; even though she may be meticulously organized, this is, after all, the holidays and something out of the ordinary may have come up.
  24. Ellie2006
    Hey there, If you feel as though reading her email will set you back, as hard as it may be, please consider deleting it. Whatever she has to say is not as important as maintaining your emotional stability. Hang in there. Ellie
  25. Ellie2006
    I hear ya, Dan. I hear ya! It's a pain in the butt isnt' it? Sometimes, I feel like my head is going to burst from all these questions! BUT I am glad that you're sticking to NC! Hey, didn't I read somewhere that you went out on a date recently? Sounds like you're progressing well down the road to healing! Good luck, Dan!
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