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Ellie2006

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Everything posted by Ellie2006

  1. Ellie2006
    Hey there, I couldn't resist commenting as I am in the academia myself. Yes, even though what Weeblie and Now_better say are true, I do think you should give a second thought to emailing your professor. True, the semester is technically over so I do not think it would go against the Honor Code of your school if you hypothetically did start to date. I am sorry if this sounds harsh but the cues your professor gave you are rather commonplace. (Professors can have *normal* conversations w/ their students -- be it about other courses they're taking/teaching or roommate issues, etc etc.) Given the fact that he met you in the elevator and had a brief conversation w/ you would have made you stick out in his mind and this is, in all likelihood, probably why he remembered your name. Also, in most schools, professors/instructors are given access to students' id card photos (so that they can better match name/face of students) so even though we may have many many students, we usually know or have a general sense of who our students are and what their names are as well. I don't know if this professor is a senior faculty member or a junior, but it is rather frowned upon by the higher ups when a faculty starts dating a student, even if the said student is no longer in his/her class. While it is possible he may have been somewhat attracted to you, he may not follow up on his feelings due to this censure against student/faculty dating. Sorry to be bearer of bad news but I do think it might be best to let this go. Take care.
  2. Ellie2006
    M, sorry for all the posts: So what DO you do with all the money that you've saved? It appears to me (and you and others may disagree), that when it boils down to saving time and saving money, the latter wins out each time. Maybe you value money more than time? Or if this is necessarily not the case, would reminding yourself of how much time you're needlessly (?) wasting help the decision process go faster? What do you think?
  3. Ellie2006
    M, So would you say your concern is more about your indecisiveness rather than about your spending habits?
  4. Ellie2006
    Hey Managor, I actually have the opposite problem so I sorta envy your ability to save! You may have already considered this but: how about setting up a budget and assigning a certain amount for each "category" -- e.g. you will spend X amount for food, Y amount for holidays, Z amount for transportation, etc etc ... So as long as you stay within the allotted amount, maybe you can allow yourself to spend the money?
  5. Ellie2006
    Hey Dallan, Sorry you're hurting right now. Have you considered trying to distance yourself from your friend? If you cannot be happy with simply being a friend, and if she has not yet broken things off w/ her bf, and if contact w/ her is depressing you, then how about taking a step back to reassess the situation? IMO, your happiness and emotional stability should be of utmost priority; as much as you care for your friend, if she is disrupting your ability to be happy and emotionally stable, then distancing yourself might be best, for now. What do you think? Hugs, Ellie
  6. Ellie2006
    WC, Unfortunately, I don't know how long it would take for you to feel better (as it differs among individuals) but I DO hope you feel better soon! You probably already know this but just bc we love someone, it does NOT make him/her the right person for us. Also, breaking up sucks! Just bc we're breaking up w/ someone who's undeserving of our love, this does NOT make the breaking up process any easier or less painful. Just keep reminding yourself of why you CHOSE to go the NC route; contact w/ him, at this point, would not be helpful for you, even though, I know, you really want to hear from him. Also, a wise person told me that just bc I miss someone and crave contact w/ someone, it does NOT mean regaining contact with that someone will be good for me in the end. Take care, WC and please know we're here to support you! Hugs, Ellie 1:
  7. Ellie2006
    Hi there, You may be right: whether you make an effort to save the relationship (to no avail) OR you go straight into NC, you experience the same terrible feeling over the break-up. Still, wouldn't you say this is a rather moot comparison in that the terrible feelings are prompted by the breakup itself, NOT by NC or by not getting the desired result from the effort you put into saving the relationship?? That said, I am sorry you're hurting right now. Hang in there and please let us know how we can help. Sending best wishes your way, Ellie
  8. Ellie2006
    WC, The first few days of NC are the hardest; I don't know if this is the appropriate analogy but it is almost as if you're going through withdrawal from an addiction. WC, in the past, you were a bit concerned about NC bc you thought it would push him away? I understand that you care for this guy but the situation between you guys was not good for you at all! WC, you deserve so much more than this guy was willing to give, wouldn't you say? Yes, it is natural that you miss him BUT would it be fair to say that you do NOT miss the way he would not fully commit to a healthy relationship with you? NC is hard; no doubt about it. We're here for you, if you need us. BUT you also have to remind yourself of the very valid reasons why you initiated NC in the first place. Stay strong, WC!
  9. Ellie2006
    Hey WC, I hear ya: NC is hard ... and it is certainly not right for every situation. But it seems as though 4 days ago, you felt that it was a good idea to begin NC. So what's changed since 4 days ago to make you change your mind about doing NC? Maybe you can stick to it a couple more days and give NC a chance to work its magic, so to speak. Hang in there! Hugs, Ellie
  10. Ellie2006
    Hi Southerngirl, Congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful baby! Hope you and your lil angel are doing well!
  11. Ellie2006
    Sorry to hear that Aurian Do you have someone staying w/ you right now? ((hugs)) Ellie
  12. Ellie2006
    B, I agree with Trab. Maintaining your emotional stability is much more worthy than letting her know that "everyone has always bent over for her." Hang in there, B.
  13. Ellie2006
    EngagedKitty, If you believe that most people never change (even w/ therapy), then would it be right to assume that you also believe your bf won't change his violent behavior as well? If this is the case, why do you choose to stay with someone who has the potential to becoming violent towards you? Why keep yourself in this potentially dangerous situation?
  14. Ellie2006
    EngagedKitty, Hi. I understand what you mean but I don't think it has anything to do w/ size, unfortunately. When someone blindsided by rage comes at you, your ability to defend yourself might not be enough. If he is angry enough to break something you value and in that moment of anger, cannot see the ramifications of his actions, in a like manner, he may be too blinded by his anger if it ever escalates to a physical situation between you two.
  15. Ellie2006
    EngagedKitty, I am sure you are fully competent to take care of yourself. Still, you cannot underestimate the damages that can be done by someone out of control from anger. Please do not slight the severity of the situation. Best wishes, Ellie
  16. Ellie2006
    EngagedKitty, Hi, I don't mean to insult you (so I apologize in advance if I am) but perhaps you're being (overly) confident in your ability to defend yourself if your bf's anger escalates to a point of hurting you physically??
  17. Ellie2006
    Hey E, Thank you for sharing. I don't know why but I feel like sobbing ... I thought I had shed all the tears to be shed I thought I had started to fill up the emptiness in my heart I guess I was wrong Like you, I now feel "emptier than before" and I don't know how to deal w/ that right now ...
  18. Ellie2006
    Zach, Listen, I am truly sorry that you're hurting right now. BUT you've got to admit that her shouting out at you like that yesterday was totally uncalled for. Breaking up sucks BIG TIME. Still how people act post break-up discloses a lot about a person, IMO. Yes, she is hurt and she is expressing her hurt. Nonetheless, just because she is hurting, this does not necessarily justify her hurtful actions towards you. Hang in there, Zach.
  19. Ellie2006
    I do agree with you to a certain extent. What I was trying to say (perhaps not very clearly ) is that the feeling you get from "taking care of someone" is one that you can share with a different someone. There is a difference, wouldn't you say, between missing "taking care of the ex" and missing her crooked pinky finger? Zach, it is natural that you miss certain things about your ex and certain emotions that she evoked within you. Still, she's made it clear that she is somewhat too emotional to be a beneficial presense in your life at the moment. Stick to NC if you can. Good luck!
  20. Ellie2006
    If that's the case, do you think you might be missing the *feelings* evoked by your ex, rather than your *ex*?
  21. Ellie2006
    Zach, to be honest, your ex sounds a bit too emotional (Sorry I do not mean to diss your ex). So what do you miss about her?
  22. Ellie2006
    Well, I agree w/ the "making new memories" part ... Smiles21, I hear ya; drat to those "songs" that dredge up the memories This is a bit drastic, but at one point, I even stopped listening to the radio and my Ipod. Easier said than done, I know, but stay away, for now, from ANYTHING that may set you back, be it songs, photos, emails, favorite hangouts ... Not forever, of course, but until your heart's healed enough to enjoy them again... Take care and hope you feel better soon. Sending best wishes your way, Ellie
  23. Ellie2006
    Hey that's impressive! I'm sure she'll love it!
  24. Ellie2006
    Hugs to you Aurian. Get plenty of rest tonight and if you feel sore tomorrow morning, maybe you can call someone to drive you to the hospital?!
  25. Ellie2006
    Steven, this is great. Have you considerd sharing this with her?
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