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Ellie2006

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Everything posted by Ellie2006

  1. Ellie2006
    W, this may be hard but have you considered discarding the old messages and emails and other reminders? To be honest, I held onto mine for a long time and cried and cried after finally throwing everything out but afterwards, I felt strangely liberated. If it is too hard to throw everything away for now, how about printing out the emails, putting them all in a box, and storing it away or asking a trusted friend to keep it so that you won't be tempted to look at them?
  2. Ellie2006
    Ohmigosh, Aurian! This is terrible Are you okay? Have you been to see a doctor? Hope you are okay and can get the insurance guys to pay up!
  3. Ellie2006
    Wayne, For what it's worth. I think you made the right decision. No doubt about it, NC will NOT be easy; you will be tempted to break it many times. Still, it is, in *my* opinion (others may disagree), a very effective way to start the healing process. Good luck.
  4. Ellie2006
    Wayner, I strongly encourage you to initiate NC w/ her. I know you said you guys were friends prior to dating and it sounds like you guys are trying to remain friends. But it seems as though contact w/ her and her refusal to work things out w/ you, come and visit you, etc etc ... are hurting you more. NC does not mean you guys cannot be friends later on. BUT you need to focus on YOU first. AFTER you're healed from this breakup, then you may want to think about whether or not you would like to salvage the friendship w/ her. I know this is a rough time but hang in there, okay? Take care of yourself -- i.e. eat, sleep, hang out w/ friends, exercise, etc etc ... Hugs, Ellie
  5. Ellie2006
    Zach, I agree with what dnozzle says above. Also, it does not sound like she's in an emotionally stable place right now; so what would breaking NC get you? NOT peace of mind, that's for sure. Do NOT let her lead you into more emotional turmoil; stay strong w/ NC! Good luck.
  6. Ellie2006
    Hey Zach, I am sorry I am not quite familiar w/ your previous thread but based on this post alone, I do not think you should respond and stay strong w/ NC. Yes, you love her and you miss her BUT you mention several times that you do NOT miss her abuse, you do NOT miss her violence, and you do NOT miss her heartless and hurtful behavior. Even her emails to you are a repetition of her previous hurtful behavior, wouldn't you say? Hard as it may be, I do believe staying strong w/ NC will be best. Just my two cents worth. Hang in there! Ellie
  7. Ellie2006
    Cindersam, I am sorry you're hurting right now And I agree w/ everyone that after a six-year relationship, you deserve more than a 3 min. break-up phone convo. I don't mean to hurt you by pointing this out but hasn't he already told you everything about his current state of mind re: your relationship via his actions? 1. His insensitivity in breaking up w/ you over the phone. 2. His callous non-response to your letter requesting to talk things over. 3. His silence for the past five weeks. I understand your wish to talk to him but what can he tell you that he has not already told you via his actions? Yes, closure is important but I am sure you've read elsewhere on these forums that the other person sometimes cannot provide the closure you need and often, you must try to find closure within yourself. If you feel as though you MUST speak with him, you may want to consider calling him and asking him to meet to talk things over. BUT before you do this, I ask you to give a serious thought to the following: a) will anything he has to say make me feel better? b) will having more details about his reasons for breaking up help me heal faster or will the information set me back? Best wishes to you, Ellie
  8. Ellie2006
    Juliana, Your poem beautifully recreated my favorite time of the day. Thanks!
  9. Ellie2006
    Hey there, I agree with dnozzle; if you do not love your current bf, please do consider breaking things off w/ him *gently* Also, IMO, it might be best if you refrain from immediately getting back together w/ your ex bf; if what you ultimately want is to get back together w/ your ex bf, then you guys will have to address the problems that broke you guys up in the first place. Just my two cents worth. Best wishes to you!
  10. Ellie2006

    Help

    Ellie2006 replied to bechtel's topic in Breaking Up Advice

    Hey Bechtel, Welcome to Enotalone! I am very sorry to hear of your recent hospitalization Please let us know how we can help; we're here to help any way we can. Hang in there, B!
  11. Ellie2006
    Are you okay? Sorry things didn't work out
  12. Ellie2006
    Hey Poet, Isn't this kind of like what he did for your "anniversary"? Just simply send a text message and then nothing! He seems to keep doing this: send out a cursory contact via text message and then does not follow it up! If SuperDave was here, he'd say we shouldn't settle for the "crumbs" our exes give us! This is *my* opinion and others may disagree, but don't you think he would have made more of a sincere gesture if he was serious about making amends for his shortcomings during the relationship? Yeah, I understand the need to get to the bottom of a confusing messsage that our exes send us but sometimes it's best to leave things alone and move along with our lives ... Re: texting him back "thanks" -- ONLY do so if you think you'll be okay w/ however he may respond and that his response will NOT set you back in any way. Hugs to you Poet!
  13. Ellie2006
    Hi Poet, (belated) B-day! On the one hand, he may have been taking an easygoing approach since it has been seven months since you guys last spoke. Still, it's *too* casual, IMO, to take very seriously. What do you think, Poet?
  14. Ellie2006
    Hey Amystar, I am so sorry you're hurting right now. Are you guys in the same program? If so, this will make maintaining NC tough but I do think as hard as it may be, NC will be best for now. You need to safeguard yourself from his occasional contacts bc they are NOT helping you move forward ... No need to tell him anything for now. Just focus on you and hopefully, the distance created by the X-mas holidays will be helpful. Take care of yourself and don't forget to be kind during your process of healing, okay? Hugs, Ellie
  15. Ellie2006
    Eddie, IMO, I do not believe it would have mattered to her either way. Please do not allow her to lead you into confusion any longer w/ her contradictory ways. If she cannot respect you enough to give you the time and space to heal from this break-up, then you have to establish that space for yourself by NC. Sending best wishes your way, E
  16. Ellie2006
    Eddie, You have been doing great w/ NC so far. Do NOT let this email set you back. Why is she doing it? Who knows and maybe she herself doesn't know either. The important thing is that unless and until she says, "I am sorry for hurting you, I am sorry for disrespecting our relationship by cheating on you, and I am fully committed to working on our relationship again" then, as hard as it may be, you have to disregard these random emails/texts/etc etc that amount to nothing. Stay strong Eddie!
  17. Ellie2006
    Eddie, Disregard the email if you are serious about maintaining NC. As Annie says, have a brief convo w/ her or write her a brief email and stick to discussion of handing over the financial documents. Hang in there!
  18. Ellie2006
    Hey Eddie, I hope you're feeling better today. IMO, "how things appear" are of secondary concern. If you believe that seeing her will set you back then you should stay away from seeing her, regardless of how she may think about your NC. Afterall, the NC is for you and your healing so this should be the priority. Hm, I see that coincidentally, you may HAVE to break NC to set up a time for her to drop off your financial documents. Others may disagree but IMO, you perhaps can email her BUT limit your email correspondence to times when someone will be at your mother's home to receive your financial documents when she drops them off. Offer several time slots so that she can pick and choose at her convenience and also she won't have to contact you again to reschedule or set up another time. What do you think? Good luck to you and take care of yourself!
  19. Ellie2006
    Hi there, If you do not wish to break NC, could someone you trust receive it for you on your behalf?
  20. Ellie2006
    Daniel, If people already know that you don't like to drink, maybe you can decline when you're offered a drink. But I get a sense that you do NOT want to decline bc it will not help you to mingle w/ your co-workers. Still, I believe you have to make a decision and stand your ground. People already know you don't drink. So decline when you're offered one and drink a non-alcoholic beverage instead. Since it sounds like you're more likely to have fun w/o the alcohol, don't drink and focus on getting to know your co-workers. Also, maybe you can offer to be the designated driver ?? If you feel as though you MUST drink to fit in, drink in moderation and make sure you eat something before you drink. And keep yourself hydrated. Leave the party from time to time to get fresh air. Good luck and have fun!
  21. Ellie2006
    Hey D, How about taking very small sips while others gulp down their drinks? Also, have a glass of water next to you and take sips of that instead so that it will appear as though you're drinking (alcohol). Make sure you don't drink on an empty stomach and if you guys order something alongside the drinks, eat something -- preferably veggies and fruit. Hope this helps.
  22. Ellie2006
    Wow, what a wonderful quote from St. John ... Thanks for sharing, BigSurge. I'm having a not-so-great day and it's really lifted my spirits; thanks again.
  23. Ellie2006
    Hey A, I must be totally dense bc I don't get why it's funny either Sorry. Actually, I was nodding my head in agreement with the "I hate you" part. I don't know why sometimes I get this tightening feeling in my heart when I see the beauties of everyday life. For me, I'm thinking that maybe it has to do w/ the fact that I can't find anything beautiful or wonderful about my own life?? Ugh. Sorry A. Must be one of THOSE days again. I've been having a lot *those* days of late. It must be the weather...
  24. Ellie2006
    Hey there, Sorry you're hurting right now. Why not delete the messages as it would seem even the bad ones are keeping you from moving on?
  25. Ellie2006
    Hi there, Sorry if this sounds harsh but I don't think you should put too much stock in what your ex said; if he thinks it such a big mistake, he will stop himself w/o anyone prompting him. This may be a silly analogy but here goes: if someone knows it's a big mistake to drive their car into the side of a building, they don't step on their accelerator. Instead, they stomp on the breaks to stop their car. They will do whatever it takes to stop their car without anyone waving red flags at them to let them know that they are going the wrong way. It appears as though your ex is going full ahead in pursuing this other girl. His actions tell me that he is willing to take the risk of making a big mistake, and his priority for now is pursuing this girl. This is a sidenote but if you are doing NC with your ex, maybe you can ask your friends not to forward you their IM conversations with him? Hang in there, Cominuproses. Hugs, Ellie
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