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revitalized

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  1. Hello everyone im a 33 year old man who has never really been social, had very few friends and i lived relatively sheltered throughout my life. Thankfully one of the advantages of this is that i managed to take care of myself and i look around 8 years or so younger than my age. I have been good with making eye contact with women that show interest but i for the life of me cannot seem to make an approach. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that i am currently job searching after a layoff so my identity is sort of up in the air. I also fear judgement and then i go through a million questions in my head about if i should lie about my age etc. I am simply stumped in terms of Anxiety, and fear of rejection, or even asking a girl out with other people around. How can i muster up the confidence and simply not care about what others think? This crippling anxiety is destroying my ability to make new connections and any help and advice would be appreciated. I will see a cute girl and wonder if she'll be ok with my age/experience. Do i just block out any what if's and desensitize myself to rejection?
  2. I don't think I have ever cried this much in years..the tears keep coming down and I am just having trouble creating new memories in my life..I just can't think of anything to make it go away..
  3. sigh..I don't know how to get rid of this feeling I have. I fall into depression really easily when thinking about my ex..I always get the feeling like "how could she have done this to me.." and a lot of this is because I don't go out much..I don't really know what to do outdoors..I want this feeling to go away but I feel like she will always have this strangle hold on my heart and I feel like I am gonna lose it..
  4. errr, u should do something about it..Dont let yourself suffer. You should tell her that it's not going to work. You have to think about yourself in this situation and pull yourself out of trouble. You don't want to be miserable in a house with a person especially with an ex who you have to sit and tell to pay half of the bills to in order for her to actually go through with it. She doesn't seem very considerate (IMHO) so I think you gotta let her know how u feel about this strange scenario.
  5. You shouldn't wait around and be quiet about it. Talk to her and ask her what her intentions are. Don't let her walk out on u and act like she can come back anytime she wants. Let her know that ur not gonna be waiting around for her to make decisions and if she is going to walk out on u then ur not gonna wait around for her. Take action bro!
  6. yea I felt the same way u did back then..going from crying to being totally angry about my ex and sad here and there..but I have realized that I should have ended the relationship earlier when there was no respect coming my way from her. The problem was that I really loved her and when we don't get the same treatment we give the other person then it really hurts us a big deal. I know that I was a good boyfriend and she will realize it herself that she was one big mess up and we just have to live our lives and focus on our own personal development. I have actually been spending more time on myself recently taking a course on how to become a better student. Recently I took the Myers Briggs test and It is a personality test and I scored INFP both times and then began to read descriptions about myself and mannnn I realized so many things in there that are familiar to me. It is a really good test to take to get to know yourself and if u ever want to discover yourself a bit I suggest you try it it's great. I agree that it is good to see someone regularly about these issues. I am actually at school right now on my laptop and I have a councellors appointment in an hour. it helps a lot to get these problems off your chest. Thanks a lot for the help everyone I really appreciate it and I will keep you all updated.
  7. thanks for the help guys..yea I noticed I am just going through a short stress period right now..just fight back tears here and there. To make things worse I had a dream about her last night so that kind of sucked but I am just kinda keeping myself occupied and I am sure if I just work on myself like you guys said then I should be ok. I just tend to let my stress take advantage of me and I need to fix that. and I have to narrow it down to the fact that it's one girl I am stressing about and she wasnt even kind to me for the most part so I hope to heal from all of this. Thanks everyone and I will update you all when I can.
  8. yea the only issue I would have is getting stubborn at times. Other than that I was ok. I have been improving on being a better student in school this year. While I was with her I would ask her for help but she would just call me a failure and a bum etc. She would also swear at me constantly because she felt she could say whatever she wanted to me because of how well I treated her. I was a fool and when I stood up for myself finally she acted like she was devastated like I broke some law. I know she wasn't good for me in the end but sometimes the special moments come back into my heart and it sucks. I just cancelled my third account on myspace. I hope I can just forget about her and move forward because I know she isn't worth thinking of. It's just another phase that I am going through again..
  9. ..I have deleted every picture and every email of my ex girlfriend but I still look at her myspace page..I try not to..but then every few days or so I end up doing it..and lately she has been on my mind a lot..I think about how much she hurt me, how much she stabbed me in my heart. and then I miss her? I am not sure if I miss her. I just feel like crying it is just weird..I want to forget about her and move forward but it is really hard. she was my first love and she disrespected me in the later stages of the relationship and was tempted to date other guys while I was with her. I dont know why I cant use this as a reason to move forward. It's like I am curious as to what she is doing or something. I want to move on but sometimes I tend to dwell on the past and how she destroyed me emotionally. I hope someone can please help me I am at a weak point right now...
  10. Hello everyone, it has been almost 5 months since I have broken up with my ex. The first few months I would break down every few days and I would be constantly depressed. I stopped taking care of myself and things got bad. Then Christmas holidays hit and my brother came to visit and I had a lot of fun and she wasn't on my mind too much at all. Then about a week before christmas I would break down every night thinking about how much she hurt me. Then christmas hit. I got so many gifts from my family. The most out of everyone and I still felt sad and went to my room and broke down. I missed having a significant other to make happy at that time of year. I then told myself that my new years resolution should be to delete every email and picture of my ex and I did it. I was happy. Then 2 weeks after that I found myself looking at her myspace page with a different account at times. I chuckled a few times cuz I realize that she will always be constantly messaging people to get them to comment on her for attention. but I just kinda want her out of my life. The problem is that I have trouble interacting with new people. I tend to prefer having alone time and having time to myself. I just want her out of my life forever because she showed no class or respect for me and if she does email me in the future my first instinct was to not reply but what do you guys think? also what do you guys think about trying to forget about her for good? I hope u guys can help me out..
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