Calvin5

I'm convinced that my looks have a lot to do with the way I'm treated by women. If I'm aggressive enough and willing to put in the work I can go out and get a pretty nice woman. It's like I almost automatically know what to say and do to please them for a short amount of time.....but after about a week I get lazy again and things sort of dwindle away.

I don't know, maybe some things just weren't meant to be. I don't feel I should have to "try" to get a girlfriend, it should almost come automatically in a way. To be honest I don't even know if I REALLY want one. I don't like the idea of growing old alone, I want to get married and have children eventually but not right now. I actually enjoy my own space and want sex occasionally, at those times I enjoy the comfort of a woman. But most of the time I prefer my own company. Nature has a way of working things out. But I'm too lazy to actually start trying to impliment new techniques, especially at 31.

Helo That's exactly what I'm talking about! I'm not with all that shouting and drinking and running around spending money all over the damn place in the name of "fun", I just want chicks. I shouldn't have to do and go through all that if I don't want to just to impress women, it should Hmmm........ So you think attracting and keeping women is really an art? I hear that so much, but I just never understood it because I figure if a woman is attracted to you she would be that way from the start. I don't ever remember charming or making a woman attracted to me, and when I saw other men do it I honestly thought the women were kind of dumb for accepting what obviously was a play for them. I remember when I was 16 this one girl was teasing me about not knowing "how to talk" to girls and I didn't understand that either. But I'm gonna check out those sites for real and see what's up.

Another thing is I don't drink, go to bars, or clubs. I don't do a lot of things most people like to do simply because I don't find it very entertaining personally. So that not only limits my access to women but it also makes me "boring" to a lot of them.

Madkarma Obviously I have, or I wouldn't be complaining about not having one. But if you're asking if I've done "everything possible" to get a girlfriend....then no. I haven't gotten that desparate as to start begging or paying women just to hang out with me. I've been on dozens of dates and not all of them lead to sex. But to be honest with you, most of the women I've had sex with have actually been "strangers" or women I happen to meet while on a trip. We meet and are immediately attracted to eachother and I guess because they know being that we don't live near eachother and there's not a lot of time to get to know one another....they have sex with me. Maybe some do it knowing they may not never see me again anyway, but some try to keep in touch. But I'm not a " * * * * *", I haven't done this with hundreds of women----probably only 9 or 10 all togther. It seems that you're contradicting your own self by on the one hand suggesting that I'm not "entitled" to a girlfriend, but on the other hand telling me that I should list what makes me worthy OF having one. I personally think being a mature man with a sound mind and no physical disabilities entitles me to SOMEBODY decent....damn. Helo Yeah, I've met a few guys older than myself who've never had women and even are still virgins. I don't know how they do it. I learn things very quickly but there's something about attracting women --especially mentally---it's always been a challenge to me. Follow me around this board a while and you'll see most of the confrontation and flak I get will be from women whether I say anything personally offensive to them or not. They just don't feel sorry for me or show me a lot of love either in real life or on the internet. Maybe there's something spiritual going on that I don't know of.

I'm about to be 31 years old soon and I never had a "serious" sexual relationship with a female in my life. I've had one-night stands and sexual flings when I'm out traveling, but as far as someone exclusively for me and me for them----never. It's sad, I know.....but it's not something I really asked for it's just how things have been. I'm not exactly sure of the reason, Many of you have read my opinions on sex and dating and no doubt will say my views and opinions are part of my problem, but that can't be true because there are some men with the craziest and most far fetched of beliefs who have been able to find somebody to put up with their foolishness. There are men who are schizophrenic who have girlfriends, lol. So silly ideas can't be the reason. I was called ugly a lot as a kid and even in highschool, but now most of the time women call me handsome and even smile and whistle at me sometimes. But there are plenty of ugly and broke guys who live off of women. Usually women are turned off after a brief conversation with me, so there has to be something about my personality or "vide" that is just a big turn off. Infact, I'm like that with most people both male and female. I don't have many friends period and have gotten use to that. Even though I'm solidly built, I have low testosterone and can be quite shy at times, even to the point of slight nervousness. I'm thinking maybe since my hormones are low there might be something about my "chemistry" most women just don't like. But there are plenty of gay and feminine acting men who attact atleast "some" women. Seriously, this just doesn't make any sense to me and it's beginning to concern me greatly.

As a matter of fact it does, because I agree and take an oath to remain faithful to my one and only and I intend to stand by that. But I don't believe any man or woman only desires just one person. Our hormones and brains aren't designed for that type of isolationism. To say you only are attracted to and desire one man is like saying you only like eatting apples and nothing else....lol. There was a man you liked before your current boyfriend, and thier will be men you liked after him.....you just CHOSE to limit yourself to this one.

Coooolsome Man you're dwelling on exceptions to the rule. If a man has no money and no power, outside of good looks he has NOTHING to even be confident about and few women are gonna give him a second look. Only a fool walks around with his hand stuffed in his pocket smiling and looking all "confident" with nothing to offer....lol. Anna I didn't say women lie more in general than men, I said they lie more about what they want and like when it comes to relationships. I don't know about you, but most of the men I know won't put up with women who habitually sleep with other people, beat them, and verbally abuse them. But many women will tell the entire world how great a man she has while he's doing all these things to her. And put up with it for a very long time! When most men say they want a decent, quiet, woman who is into nursing....that's usually who they go after and get. A woman says she wants a nice, sweet, loving man who respects women for their minds....but somehow always ends up with with Andrew Dice Clay and wants to cry on everyone's shoulder about her relationship problems. Eeeeeeehhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew....lol. So what most women want and what they SAY they want are usually two different things.

Lol....maybe I should have titled my thread "Young men and Old Women" instead of older women. Although I don't see women in their 50s and 60s as old.....perhaps the image of a 25 year old man sleeping with a 55 year old womam would have made things a little more clear.

RayKay My opinons are based upon my personal experiences and observations as well as logical conclusions. We all are sensative and sexual beings....some more than others....so why limit yourself when you don't have to? I started off this thread with the observations that single people in relationships seem to be more loyal to eachother than married people in relationships. This is backwards and doesn't make any sense to me why so many single people limit themselves and dedicate their all to another person when they really don't have to....it irks me. Why can't males and females just be friends and have sex without all the emotion and possessiveness? I mean, lol....sometimes I feel like telling people I don't even know: "Look if you love your boyfriend or girlfriend so much...just marry them and get on with it, stop disturbing people with the ups and downs of your crazy relationship" Maybe it's just the way my brain is wired, but I just feel we already have enough rules in life without making up extra rules we don't need.

I find it hard to believe no one agrees with me on such a controversial subject of varying opinion, but I guess everyone can't be wrong. So let's try it this way...lol...... Can someone be so kind as to clearly SHOW me where I'm wrong instead of speaking in broad terms like "you don't know what you're talking about" or "you shouldn't make generalization".? And when I say show me, I don't mean pointing out a few exceptions to the rule that can't be verified....I mean clearly explain to me how what I have stated is wrong and/or false.

Doyathink Lol...there is beauty in every race. My last post was just a little off topic comment to Agent who said that she has hips and a little fat but still feels sexy. I don't know about Indian men because obviously they grew up in a society with a different set of beauty standards....but I know about THIS society and I'm old enough to remember how women with wide hips and round butts were made fun of UNTIL Black entertainers came out declaring how much they found it attractive. Now all of a sudden women with big rear ends are showing them off...lol. Lol, well that's what uncle Vinnie is here for! Doyathink......go ahead and Do Ya Thing.....

Daligal Yes, that too is a personal preference....as long as both parties clearly agree to this. But moral rights and wrongs don't necessarily depend on what others on this site or even the majority of society agrees with. With children, boyfriend/girlfriend play is natural and is like "mock marriage". Among adults.....the original point of having a boyfriend/girlfiend was to try someone out to see if their were marriage material....but people just got lazy and irresponsible and decided not to take that next step. Again, they wanted to eat thier cake and get their full while still having some left. They didn't want the responsibilities and duties that went along with marriage, and that's the case today for the most part. I don't call any woman I date my girlfriend now and make it clear. As far as I'm concerned the only relationship in which I'll agree to remain exclusively with a woman is in marrying her. Everything you're describing is a characteristic of MARRIAGE.... That's why MARRIAGE was invented...lol...so if you want that you can have that. Again...people want to have their cake and eat it too. Lol...look how many women don't mind making BOYFRIENDS out of men who have ran around screwing everything that isn't nailed down! What's the difference? Atleast I'm honest about my behavior and intentions. The other man overthere is doing the same thing, only he's playing "Mr Nice Guy" because he knows it's what you want to hear. Lol....will his lying to you and telling you you're the only one cure any diseases that he may have contracted before your relationship, or any diseases he has yet to catch? A woman puts all her heart and soul into some man she expects to remain faithful and faithful to her alone, and a month later after finding out he does what MOST men do........she's ready to either jump of a bridge or condemn all men to death because she feels betrayed. She could have saved herself the emotional turmoil by just accepting the reality of how different men and women are when it comes to sex and relationships.

Daligal You said you and your boyfriend have an "unspoken" agreement to be exclusively with eachother and no one else. But unless you're a mind reader, how do you KNOW he's agreed to this? Again you MADE UP that rule....didn't even tell him about it....and EXPECTED him to obey that rule whether he really agrees to it or not, lol. And this is wrong.......... Why would you even assume that he agreed to this when you know how much most men tend to enjoy sex with other women? Is your boyfriend so saintly that he's above finding other women attractive enough to sleep with them? Wait wait wait...now listen, I'm not trying to raise doubts about your boyfriend in particular, I'm just saying women in general act so gullible as to believe and expect that a man...especially one not married...is supposed to be beholden to them and them alone. History has proven that his is rarely ever the case. So why do you all constantly set yourselves up for the disappointment? Sleeping with whoever you want is not a rule...it's just a personal preference like eating fast food vrs home cooked meals.

No offense taken....I'm 30. I just know what I've experienced and seen in my life and I know that people and especially women will often LIE about what they want and like when it comes to relationships.....and this keeps many men especially young men in a perpetual state of confusion. Women like men who can either protect them, provide for them, or give them good sex. To hell with all this "good confident nice guy" politically correct jive...lol. What I just listed are the 3 main reasons a woman will choose a man. Now if a man doesn't have one of those three things to offer, he's not getting anywhere unless he pays a prostitute. Now that's REAL. Ofcourse when I speak I speak from my own limited experiences and no one else's, but a lot of what I'm hearing on here sounds like it came right off of the Oprah Winfrey Show....lol. It SOUNDS good and sweet but has very little basis in reality what so ever. I've been with good women and not so good women, and God knows I have a lot more learning to do in life...but I'm not crazy nor was I born yesterday...I know what I know and I know what is and isn't effective. I'm not gonna be a crowd pleaser and lie telling Confuzedboy or anybody else something I know not to be the truth from my experiences. Hey....I just gotta keep it real from my end....it's the only way I know to be.