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minnie

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  1. minnie
    Me? 2wks no contact. Im like jekyll and hyde at the moment. One minute im determined to make it thru this, then i just wish i could erase him and the relationship out my life, and then carry on. Mines is a long story which i am sick to death of talking about. I have always been leaving... but never did. This is probly why i havent heard from him, cuz hes heard it all before. I feel like he doesnt take me seriously, like he is just using me and i will always be around waiting for him - NO. Im out. I am doing this purely for me, and no one else, i know my self esteem has dropped and i need to build it back up, and move on to better things. I/we should be having fun, laughing and joking around, making memorable memories, not ones we'd rather forget. I have soooo had enough of the way my life is heading, and the miserable person i have become, how do i get back to being free spirited and happy? You all are doing great, and your stories are driving me and showing me then i can do it to. Keep it up x x x
  2. minnie
    My grandma died a year ago (cancer). She had always said dont cry for her, she never did. When any family members would see her they would leave the room if they felt they wanted to cry so we wouldnt upset her ( i think she knew anyway) I was really strong, i accept what she had said and i didn't cry. It alll seemed surreal. But when the priest cam and gave her last rites it hit me. I couldn't believe what was happening - i broke down. A few days later she died - i cried, then i stopped. i felt the same as you. At the funeral you probably will ball your eyes out, cuz i did but only when i saw her. Its after the funeral when you start to realise they are not around - something happened in my family, its was quite funny and i picked up the phone tell my nan!!!!! It was so weird - I broke down I love my nan more than anything in this world, more than myself sometimes, and i know you do to. Everyone grieves differently, i thought when my nan dies, the world will end for me i never thought i would be able to cope or move on but you do - slowly
  3. minnie
    I think this is a good way, to talk about your feelings - i might have to do the same, i have a lot to get out too, keep it up!
  4. minnie
    Twinkle, I am feeling the same things as you now - its soo weird. Was doing no contact - he sent me a text, i ignored it for 2 days, then called him on the third. i could be stopped, in my head i knew he wasnt going to be this new person, but i still wanted to hear his voice, and i wanted him to hear mine. The message was on my mind for 2days! I know i have to learn to ignore them but i am st the stage now when i just do what i feel at the time. And its weird because it never crosses my mind to call him first - the best/worst thing could have happened to me and it wouldnt cross my mind to call him. But when he calls, i have the strength to ignore them and there are times when i will call him back a few days later. What i am trying to say is, i know what i have to work on, and i can see that you do too. Suppose we just need to get on with it right!!!! I keep telling myself, i dont care what he did, what hes doing, and what he about to do, cuz i keep thinking about it. He told me he is going to New York on sunday.....Why did i call him back, it would have been better off me not knowing- now thats all i am thinking about!!!!! I dont feel that bad for calling him really, i know i am speaking to him less and less each month and i will get to the point when i dont wonna return his calls. Soory about that, suppose i just needed to let things out. Just be good, smile and keep reminding yourself of what you want to achieve - you'll get through.
  5. minnie
    I think along with RayKay that for him its just not 'normal'. Maybe grew up where sex was sorta taboo. I think its to do with how you were brought up, nd not necessarily him not wanting to do it. Ease off it for a while, and try to find something else to do that you both enjoy. Talk to him x x x
  6. minnie
    Yes you can!! If you are ready, u can do it, it sounds to me like you are - go for it. Im heading the same way, we will be so much happier -soon, i know it x x x
  7. minnie
    funny hehe!
  8. minnie
    This is so true, if he loved you he wouldnt be causing you all this pain. If he had changed he wouldnt have to tell you - you would see it right?? Let him go, as hard as it may be you will feel much happier within yourself, i know it is hard but what other choice do you have? Unless you enjoy your life right now ( which i dont think you do) Move on and be happy - without him!! Babes, you and only you are responsible for your own happiness, it seems you are looking to him for that and he is not coming through. Take control now, it will be one of the hardest things you have to, but it will pay. x x x
  9. minnie
    It will be honey, just keep doing what you are doing.... obviously they feel they have something to prove... leave them to it. Keep Smilin x x x
  10. minnie
    Do you want to accept it and move on? I dont think you do, you just need to try and be the best person you can for your daughter, and prove to her who you are - her mother, who - loves her more than life itself. There will come a time when she will see this, it may take a while but she will. You just need to prove it to her, dont appear pushy or anything like that, but on the time you see her she will begin to see it. See someone about your drink problem if you are having trouble with it, make it so that when she does see you she will see the person that she used to see. Her father influencing her will only hold for a while, and although you should not tell him or her this - she may end up resenting him for this. You are her mother and she will never be able to get this time back with you. I dont know how you will get through each day, but just think of your daughter and how you and her will be someday - dont give up, just try to be subtle.
  11. minnie
    As far as i know a mouth ulcer looks like a bubble.... i have had one and it only hurts me when i accidentally bite it. But maybe it isnt.....
  12. minnie
    I just keep moving, when you see them dont see them, if you get what i mean. If they feel the need to prove anything to you that is there own problem. But as you speak it does sound like SHE has a problem with you. I believe she is leading him to do these things, not saying that he cant say no - but hes probly doesnt want to say no, because maybe she may think he still has feelings for you. It all is so complicated, but dont worry about it, if they want to flaunt their love - its up to them. Just pretend they are not there. It may be hard but if you act as if you barely notice them, they will soon stop. Just smile x x x
  13. minnie
    Its sounds to me like a mouth ulcer. They say it is caused when you are run down!! If you dont have time to go see your doctor yet - wash your mouth out with salt water or a little vinegar every day ( it may sting a little) im not sure if you have bonjela in the middle of nowhere but thats good too, you should be able to buy it from the pharmacy. If you dont have bonjela you can use anything that is used on babies gums when they are teething. just apply in to your lip like 2wice daily.
  14. minnie
    How long is it before you sleep with a guy?
  15. minnie
    For me ... Its 2wks no contact today. I dont really no what i am feeling to tell the truth. He has been calling me but - he has nothing to say i want to hear. He is not the person i met 4yrs ago, so i will try to move on and find that person. Its weird because i do think about him everyday, but it doesnt cross my mind to call him anymore... Its like that is just not an option. But well see, its only been 2wks!! I am 100% determined to stay away, i have been saying this for about a year and to be honest im sick of hearing myself say it. I dread to think what my friends and family think, and him he's heard it all before. I know no one thinks im serious, but i am and will prove it to myself. 1 thing i have learned is to do what i say i am going to do, if i am not prepared to act - dont say it. Thanks for your time xxx
  16. minnie
    Just take one day at a time, keep putting one foot infront of the other. When you go to call just remember how you felt the other night, and how he treated you. I think we all forget this when we get the urge to contact and somehow assume the person has changed - but they havent and we havent. You have to do this to keep your self respect and to built on it. Dont give in xx
  17. minnie
    Like i said - i think you should call, but be careful you dont end up the one doing all the work. I doubt that would happen - it sounds like he really likes you.
  18. minnie
    Yes it is so true. I know someone who is the 'mistress' i was out with her once and she began TALKING to another guy. Her 'friend' was there and totally flipped when he saw them!! I was like - What? I really think they convince themselves that they don't care, but they really do. My friend has been on the phone to me moaning that he is not around, that she called and he did't answer, and aint called her back yet. She has even developed hatred for his wife!! The way she speaks about her is like they knew each other and then had an argument and fell out. Then she tries to tell me she dont care. In one sense she says she is glad she is not his wife, cooking, washing for him, and she is glad she is able to tell him to go home when she has had enough of him(?) But i dont really know whether she loves him - she says she does, but she also says she does not WANT to be his wife because 'hes a dog' and would only treat her the same. Its made me realise that people are goona do what they want, what you think does get a look in. I have tried to put myself in that situation to try to understand what they are REALLY feeling - but i cant understand it. I think it is wrong, but me saying that isnt going to make it stop. I believe in Karma
  19. minnie
    Call him - that way you can say you have tried. But dont keep calling him. If you do call, dont be the one to call him back again, allow him to call you next time.
  20. minnie
    So sorry to twinkle and others, didnt mean to post here
  21. minnie
    Just thought i would share with everyone that i am 9 days into NC ( its a very long story!!) Now its getting really hard for me, i am thinking about him all the time. I am reading post from this site to keep me strong and help me get through - trying my hardest to keep busy, but he always pops up when i least expect it I suppose thats how it goes - and i assume i have a long way to go, but i have realised i have to do it now, or i will never do it. I am responsible for my own happines - no1 else. I have stoped looking to my ex to make me happy, as all he is doing is hurt me. I intend to find someone out there who appreciates me, and treat me like the queen that i am. First though i need to learn to love myself again, more than i ever have. I just need to support and guidance. Whenever i feel the need to call this low-life, i will post here, because i really have no need to call him. I have tried this before but this time i will suceed because i am determined to be happy - without him.
  22. minnie
    I know its hard but you shouldnt be afraid of looking like a fool in love. you are not the first and wont be the last, no one will laugh at you or blame you, you are in love - its not a crime. You need to enjoy what you have NOW, and stop waiting for something bad to happen. You know he loves you and thats all that matters. Enjoy yourself and be happy, you are not going to stop people doing what they are gonna do, just know how you would deal with it IF it was to happen, tell him and stick to it. You will never look like a fool if you remain strong in your feelings and decisions. Good luck.
  23. minnie
    To be honest i think people from my school would be more faithful in a relationship. Its just what i see going on, what i hear about people, this girl is with this man, but i thought he was with someone else, and he is. Then i hear from my friend that he is with her friend. To top it all off they are all fighting for his 'love' then i hear the first girl has someone on the side too! she is trying her hardest not to make her 'man' find out or he would flip (???) I know its not all like this but its overwhelming. I met a guy - he is with someone (doesn't know i know) but he is acting as if i am the only woman for him. He wont leave me alone - all this attention is flattering but, NO WAY!!! It just got me thinking why do they do it, how can they do it. I think its good if everyone knows where they stand and thats what everyone wants but otherwise its terrible... I will never understand.
  24. minnie
    It seems i am living in a world where no one is exclusive anymore. Men have more than one woman, and women have more than one man!! Most of the time the others dont know they are one of many. My question to anyone who is willing to give me an honest answer is.. What qualities does the person that you have true feelings for got? most of the time the person doing the playing has one person who they really 'love' more than the others. What is it you 'love' about that person compared to the others? Is it simply because they put up with it, or because they didn't - or is it something else?? Fill me in.....
  25. minnie
    I really think thats the only way to go, unless anyone else can offer advice on what to do. I have found nothing works and that also i missed my ex so much when i was away from him - when i was with him i disliked him. I resented him for everything he put me through, even though i forgave him. I had people saying to me, 'why are you being like this, you forgave him' but deep down i dont know if i really did. In the end i had to walk away from him because it wasn't fair on him or me arguing all the time. I really dont know what else you can do but leave him because i still dont know what to do to rid myself of the resentment and bitterness i have towards my ex. Its really hard , but you will feel better for it x x x
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