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Jaela

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  1. Jaela
    If she asks why you haven't called, just say, "ive been busy" (doing so and so - if you feel comfortable sharing with her). I don't see any reason to start that statement with an apology, after all, you are not obligated to call her. If you had said you'd call and didn't, however, that would be a situation to warrrant the apology. When you call, tell her that you'd like to see her again and ask if she'd like to get together. If she responds positively, try to make plans during your free day tomorrow. This shows that you are thinking of her, even in your busy life which hasn't been put on hold. Sincere, upfront and honest. Good luck
  2. Jaela
    Yes, I open doors for him. I would open a door for anyone who is approaching behind me. And when I said money is just money, I meant more in view of my own finances. Although I do admit I would have a problem with a guy who could never seem to 'give', meaning if I was a couple bucks short one week and he threw a fit about lending money, I would seriously reconsider his values. If I was a couple bucks short every week, that would be a different story, of course! Then he has every right to throw a fit, since that becomes just plain irresponsible on my end. Ultimately what I meant was, I don't expect a guy to pay for me. I always notice the act if given, and will reciprocate the kindness.
  3. Jaela
    Getting back to the topic of 'going dutch', I personally always notice what a guy does on a date; if he buys drinks, gets the tab, opens doors, etc. But I do not view these actions as expected, instead I view them as acts of kindness and find it touching. I in return will buy HIM a drink, or dinner, etc. When my friends and I go out, we always take care of each other. The issue is never about money. I know when I'm low on cash, I have my friends to fall back on. In turn, they fall back on me when they are low. If there is a concert we'd all like to go to and one can't afford it, everyone chips in so that the person can be included as well. I do admit if I dated a guy who never payed anything for anyone other than himself repeatedly, I might begin to question the relationship a bit. Not because I expect special treatment for being a lady, but because I like to see people making the effort to take care of one another, even if it means making a temporary sacrifice. I view it as a type of karma; the more you give, the more you receive. Money is, after all, just money
  4. Jaela
    Hi Heartbroken, do you know much about her interests? There is so much to do without having to meet somewhere for drinks. Dinner and a movie, midnight bowling, coffee houses are all excellent ideas. Is she into nature? If you research your area a bit, I'm sure you can find some beautiful locations with nature trails, gorges, etc. An outdoor picnic in a quiet park would be completely romantic as well. Is she intellectual or artsy? How about an art museum or concert? Check local newspapers for inexpensive alcohol-free activities going on in the area. I once had a first date where the guy took me hiking to a waterfall. I'm an avid lover of nature so the date completely floored me Good luck, let us know how it goes!
  5. Jaela
    I would proceed with caution if you decide this might be the right relationship for you. There is no reason to rush into anything, and you've all ready been given some red flags. People can and do change, just keep your eyes open with this and you'll be fine. Make sure to keep communication open and have both of your intentions clear to one another.
  6. Jaela
    Thanks for the uplifting reply, Silvermanic. I've been going through an extremely painful breakup these past few months, an on and off again relationship that was seriously unhealthy. Now I'm feeling a bit gun shy with men in general. I suppose it's best just to relax and see where things lead. I'll try my hardest to push my anxiety aside. Wish me luck, guys!
  7. Jaela
    Hi guys, i just met this guy at a Bar BQ that I really like, who is the roommate of a guy friend of mine. He is very attractive, warm and funny. I received wonderful vibes from being around him, and we seemed to really hit if off nicely. In fact, he recently left for South Korea on business and called my friend asking about me while he was gone! Apparently he remembered meeting me, and was intrigued. He wanted to see me again when he returned, and asked if my friend could set something up 'by accident', so that we could both bump into each other again. Now, the problem is, I'm really shy! maybe he is too? This guy will be back from Korea in a few days, and my friend wants to set something up for a friday. I'm getting all jittery thinking about it. He left quite an impression on me, but I'm not quite sure how to read him yet. I'm so nervous about seeing him again, but excited as well. I haven't dated in over a year. I keep telling myself I need to be brave, and go see him again, and kick some butt. I can do this, right??
  8. Jaela
    If someone has blocked you on AIM, they'll appear as offline to you at all times. simple as that. I should add that if he's deleted you, there's no way for you to know that. But he'll still be able to 'accept' messages from you if you message him, if he chooses to.
  9. Jaela
    Orgasms are weird. Usually I've only had them in my sleep, while dreaming. Yes, I def realised when I had one! My bf did give me one a few weeks back, and it was glorious. You will know.
  10. Jaela
    The craziest most shameful things just happened recently actually. My guy told me he loved me and slept with me. Then a day afterwards, he told me he no longer knew what he wanted from this relationship and needed time. I had suspicions there might be someone else, so I asked him and he said no. His IM away messages kept having this same girl's screen name coming up, so I added her to my friends list. Sure enough, my guy and this girl were exchanging flirty messages back and forth in their away messages. I confronted him with it and let's just say he got insanely mad. He called me a stalker and messaged everyone on his list saying that I might be 'watching them'. I've been getting hate messages ever since from people who i have no idea who they are. I'm ashamed I resorted to what I did, and apparently this chick is one of his ex girlfriends. I still have no idea if I'm justified in my actions or not, but I do feel sad about the whole circumstance.
  11. Jaela
    lol Blue Angel... if masturbation makes someone NOT a virgin, that would mean I would've lost my virginity at 5 or 6 ... yes, you are still a virgin even if you masturbate, if no sexual penetration has occurred
  12. Jaela
    Ive been on the pill for almost a year now, and I have a fairly high sex drive.
  13. Jaela
    I've seen a few posts that have cropped up about myspace lately. I'm very new to the whole thing and just recently opened an account, a few weeks after my ex and I had broken up. Not even a DAY went by and my ex somehow found me on it, requesting to add me as a friend. I checked out his profile and what I saw sickened me; pages and pages of girls he talks to, who leave him sexual comments, half naked girls!, girls he was talking to the whole time we were together!! I was disgusted and felt betrayed, it was so damn shady. Ya, I created a myspace account, but it was after we had broken up. I would never deliberately hide the fact I had an account from a future serious relationship. Most likely I would bring the account down, especially if the guy had some problems with it, which I could totally understand. My ex basically told me that what him and his 'friends' talked about was between themselves and none of my business, lol. Especially now that we weren't together. I pointed out to him this behavior had happened while we WERE together though, and that was what made me so upset. At this point I pretty much gave him the finger and pushed him out of my life. That is just sleazy and wrong. How do you others deal with your myspace accounts, whilst single and whilst in a serious relationship? Do your partners have a problem with it? If so, how do you react? What is proper etiquette with these things? I mean, it's not only a dating site but ... *cough ... * I dunno. shady, shady , shady
  14. Jaela
    It may be worse, but at least you will know the truth on her motiviation behind the whole act.
  15. Jaela
    Annie, what type of facials do you get regularly?
  16. Jaela
    On what level do you mean she felt you wouldn't commit to her anytime soon? Are we talking an exclusive relationship, or marriage? I would give things a few days and cease contact for now. Unless you want to call her and pointedly ask her why she chose to leave a song on your voicemail in the way that she did, of course. I would probably go the second route, but I'm usually not the most tactful person either.
  17. Jaela
    I dunno, from a girl's perspective that seems like a lyrical song for someone I'm thinking about, and definitely missing. "I need you, I love you?" Sounds like she is expressing a lot of regret right now. Was she the one to break off the relationship? Leaving a voicemail at 4am with a song is kind of fruity but .. maybe the song was significant to your and hers relationship? Don't cry, maybe you should call her and figure out exactly whats going through her head right now. At least it will take the guess work out of everything.
  18. Jaela
    Hang in there Esboogie, you can do it! We're all behind you and rooting for you girl. Muneca, if you feel you'd like to share, I'd love to hear your story. The ones with happy endings are indeed the best kind.
  19. Jaela
    What exactly is she messaging you about?
  20. Jaela
    Good for you, girl! {{{hugs}}} Traveled around the world by yourself, eh? I've done that as well! And now look at us!!! We're free from these scumbag leeches, free to breathe again and embrace life again and devour them with our succulent vitality. Plate smashing ... sounds like an absolute blast. Maybe I'll try a bit of that tomorrow.
  21. Jaela
    Hi guys, Thank you for the reply. So you truly believe there is no hope with this? Even if we tried counseling together? I know our breakup is so fresh that I'm still feeling pangs of what we once shared. But honestly, the fighting gets so bad that I'm afraid we're going to end up in a fist fight eventually, and that is definitely no good. I care about him very, very much but I see your point, by my going back it only solidifies in his mind that his actions are justifiable. And it does seem like although he was trying very hard, his progress was more of a band-aid effect, with more seething beneath the surface, if that makes sense? Perhaps it is time for me to continue on with my life and leave this behind, once and for all. I do love him though, that is what makes it so difficult.
  22. Jaela
    Hi guys, after spending this whole past weekend an absolute wreck because of my ex, he just wrote me a heart wrenching email. This is AFTER he called me every disgusting thing in the world through AIM messages, forcing me to finally block him. Then, he logged on with another screen name and had the nerve to say, "I see you finally got the balls to block me. Good, keep it that way." So I waited ... patiently. Oh yes, very patiently. Meanwhile, crying my eyes out and having my self esteem pounded. And he came back. Two days later, this time with another screen name, saying, "I wrote you an email and I'd really appreciate it if you read it. thanks", and logged off. Ok. This guy has got issues. Serious control issues. Insecurity issues. And he is extremely verbally abusive. I've told him again and again and again I can not be in a relationship with him if this continues. And he does try very hard to make progress. And then he slips backwards. Is there any hope for this guy? Is there any way I can try and support him as best as I can, without getting my heart pounded over and over and over? I do love him, and I do recognize he genuinely wants to change. I just don't think he knows how, or realizes what he's doing while he's in the midst of doing it! Whatever I decide, if I decide to even maintain any type of relation or contact or whatever with him, I am not going to write him back or contact him right away. Oh no. He needs to seriously think about the consequences of his actions. I love him, and I want to be there for him. And I do believe he genuinely wants to change, and I'm also not stupid and I realize this is not going to be easy, not at all. Not in the slightest. But, I do see hope in him. I really believe he just does not know any better, and that makes me very sad. And I know it makes him very sad too because he loves me and he realizes he's defeating his own purpose each time he goes on a tirade like this. Any thoughts? Maybe I'm just stupid or niave, but I'm not quite ready to give up on him yet. I just want him to seriously think. Suggestions on a course of action?
  23. Jaela
    Oh Fif honey... sigh ... gosh I dont even know how to respond, lol. {{{hugs}}} Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm sitting at work right now with tears in my eyes because a friend spotted my ex out last night for St. Patty's, and I didn't get a wink of sleep last night because I couldnt stop thinking about it ... or him ... Now I'm at work doing the same, yes, with tears in my eyes because it feels like someone is punching my gut over and over ... AND THEN I read your post and .. wow ... The drunken dialing texts made me laugh. I feel better now, thanks! Ohhhh, we will survive one day, won't we? The things we put ourselves through ...
  24. Jaela
    Hi guys, I'm just curious how everyone is planning on spending their weekends, whether you're going the NC route or not with your ex. Right now it's been 9 days of NC for me. Today was my ex's birthday. It took all of my willpower not to contact him and wish him a happy birthday. Tomorrow I'll be enjoying a day off from work and school (yay!), but will probably be putting in applications in the morning for a second job in order to fill my weekends more now. Plus I have more free time to make more money, always a good thing! Friday I will be busy finishing up my midterms. Perhaps Friday evening I will go out with some of the girls to have a few drinks, to catch up and relax. Saturday night I've been invited to a birthday party and I look forward to that very much. I'm trying desperately to keep my mind focused and off my relationship woes, although they are always lingering in the background of my mind. I hope to keep myself busy this weekend and divert some of my attention on some more fun things. I want to really concentrate on surrounding myself with great friends. I would love to hear what you guys will be doing this weekend. How are you all coping thus far?
  25. Jaela
    Hi Fif Angel. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough patch right now. {{{hugs}}} It's been one week of NC now, and I'm still thinking about him all the time. I dreamt of him last night, which made me feel a bit sad when I woke up. Right now I'm settled down with a hot cup of tea and will probably cosy up this evening and study a bit. Then I may go out later, depending on my mood and if I'm feeling up for it. I should probably force myself to though ...
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