Jump to content

Jaela

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    197

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Jaela

  1. Jaela
    Here is what i would suggest; 1. Take a deep breath before dialing 2. Go wherever the conversation takes you ... be in the moment, and be natural
  2. Jaela
    Hi guys, well Mike has been out of town for work and we didn't have a chance to have 'the talk' until last night. I was really scared but I told him I needed to talk with him about something. He was immediately alert when he saw how serious I was. I explained the situation and he listened very quietly. He asked me twice if I was ok (I was reallly scared about his reaction), then once the story was out, he said he didn't see why it would change anything between him and I, at least from his end. He said, "You don't have to be so nervous about talking with me about things." So it was really late and we were both laying down and suddenly he was like, "can I ask you a question? Why did you decide to get a divorce?" And I told him, and he reached for my hand and held it while I talked. Again he listened quietly. Then he said I was a really honest, genuine person and that he liked that. We fell asleep holding hands (still hasn't kissed me) ... woke up and took me home, since he had to help a friend move in the early morning. When he pulled up to my house, he asked if he could take me to the movies later tonight. He was so gentle in his response to everything. I'm so happy and relieved he knows now I'm really starting to like him!
  3. Jaela
    Bamboo, what does his body language and eyes tell you? It doesn't matter how a man acts with me (Hot and cold, distant and aloof), I always somehow manage to catch a glimpse of their true feelings ... eyes simply don't lie. He's looking down when you sit close? If you caught his eye, what would it tell you? What do you see when you catch him looking at you from afar? How is his body language? Also, does he have a way of contacting you? Does he call?
  4. Jaela
    well, i'm not sure how to really help your situation since things went pretty far with you two. You could call him and tell him you'd like an opportunity to sit down and chat with him. Maybe suggest meeting over some coffee or dinner. If you have things to get off your chest, tell him. Personally it sounds like he had his 'fun' and now he's pulling the amazing vanishing act with you. Some guys will just do this. If he was serious about dating, he would be in contact with you. I would not accept any late night calls from him, or meet with him while you've both been drinking. It seems like this situation has affected your self esteem. Please believe that the right man is waiting for you. Don't sell yourself short on some lame guy who is willing to take what he can get and run. You don't deserve the agony of waiting by the phone for Mr Loser to call when he's good and ready. His life is obviously going forward, so get out there again and meet more guys! And remember, set boundaries for yourself so you won't find yourself in this type of situation again.
  5. Jaela
    I believe there are many forces at work in the universe that we can't fully comprehend or understand. The existence of karma is one of them. Try doing something very small every day for someone else, even if paying for the toll for the car behind you. You'll be amazed at the positive energy you'll feel
  6. Jaela
    If he's interested, he will pursue. Let him come to you and if he does call again, I would suggest meeting together some place where alcohol won't be involved. I didn't get a clear idea of what you are looking for with this guy. If it's to eventually build something serious, getting drunk and then hooking up probably isn't the best way. Good luck and let us know what happens. By the way, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Some guys are just playing the field right now. He may just be looking for something 'fun' and 'casual'. It's up to you to set boundaries with this.
  7. Jaela
    Well, i just met a guy i really liked about three weeks ago, and I made the first move. He showed up at a Bar BQ with a blonde girl on his arm, that I assumed was his gf. I still made the move to go up and introduce myself to him, we chatted and I smiled really wide, etc.; gave him very subtle clues that I *might* be into him, or else just overly charming and fascinating Well whatever impression he got, it worked. The blonde disappeared (turned out was only a friend) and he kept moving closer and closer to me throughout the night until we were locked in conversation again. I gave him more flirty signals, and he's finally asked me out. We've seen each other three times now, will again on Thursday, and I think he's great. I'm so glad I got the courage to introduce myself to him even when I thought he was involved. So yes, he made the move to call and ask me out, but I really believe none of that would've happened if I had never approached him, introduced myself and smiled.
  8. Jaela
    Ok, you are not going to die an old maid. You are only 21. I lost my virginity six months ago, when I was 24. I do not regret waiting in the least bit. I am no longer with the guy, but those moments were moments made in genuine love. I waited until I was ready and you should too. You will know when you've met the right one, trust me, hon.
  9. Jaela
    Hi Caldus, maybe joining some clubs or organizations that interest you will help you to connect further with like-minded individuals at your university. I know it must be frusterating. I took a job on my campus working in the library and media center, and it has helped me make some really wonderful friends.
  10. Jaela
    Make time to see him once more!
  11. Jaela
    Hi Bleeder, what a wonderfully insightful post. I married extremely young (we were both 21) and neither of us really had a clue what we were doing. It was more his family pushing for it because we had been dating and my visa was running out for overseas. So we had a choice to make and really, we were both babies when we did it. Neither of us had a clue what we wanted and I feel it was done for many wrong reasons. I could def get married again someday, although it will never be something I rush into again. I have so much I want to do education and career-wise, and I feel strongly I should be as independent as possible and be 100% certain before merging my life with someone else on that level again. But I know there will come a time where I will want to settle down to build a family with a wonderful man. I just really like Mike, and I hope (hope hope hope!) this won't scare him away. He's so sweet and nice and I'd really like to get to know him better. Thank you everybody for your replies. I'll keep you updated on the response.
  12. Jaela
    Ya, I actually think I'm going to tell Mike I can't take things further until it's finalized. I mean, we've only just met a few weeks ago but I really want to be as upfront and honest with him as possible. The actual divorce is tricky because it was an international marriage. I think it's great that you'd still be there for the person after the divorce was finalized though. I really have no idea how he's going to react... *bites nails nervously*
  13. Jaela
    Hi guys, well this guy Mike I really like called yesterday and asked me out on a date. I'm so excited that he's interested because I really like him, but there is another issue that he isn't aware of yet, and I was looking for some advice because I'm not sure of the proper 'dating' etiquette for this sort of thing. Right now I am married, and have been separated from my husband for about a year. The divorce will start becoming finalized after the summer. Right now Mike has no idea. Mike and I are still in the beginning stages of getting to know one another and now that he has finally given me a reason to believe he in interested in pursuing something more than merely a friendship, he needs to know before things progress any further. But I'm so nervous about telling him! For those dating, if you really liked someone, would knowing they're married and going through a divorce push you away from them? For those divorced/separated/going through a divorce, if you're just getting to know someone and romantic feelings are beginning to develop, when do you deem a proper time to bring up this delicate issue? I think I'm really scared to tell Mike because I'm afraid he'll judge me harshly, and he'll lose interest. This issue is also something that is deeply personal and emotional to me, and it's difficult for me to feel so vulnerable in front of this guy when I'm only just getting to know him. I dunno Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel I have to tell him asap though.
  14. Jaela
    Mike called me tonight and asked me out on an official date on Monday. Yay! Thank you everyone for listening and offering your wonderful advice
  15. Jaela
    Ok guys, here's the scoop. I went last night and he was standing far off inside a garage, talking with other people. He didn't immediately notice we'd arrived so I introduced myself around and stood out near the porch. About half an hour later, he came up and said, "Why didn't you tell me you were here?" and was really warm and friendly. He basically positioned himself right next to me and again, we talked together the WHOLE night. There were so many other girls there and he barely talked with anybody else. We had some more interesting and deep convo. Well Jessica was getting ready to leave and she was my ride, so I told him I had to go. He said, "I could drive you home if you'd like to stay later." Well, we were having such a nice time, I stayed with him. It was starting to get really late and we were both exhausted, so we finally left together. He asked me if I was up for hanging out a bit longer and I said, "ya". So he took us back to his place (he shares the apartment with Jessica's bf) and it turns out Jessica didn't go home either. Her car was in the driveway. Well Mike and I stayed up in his bedroom and talked until almost 7am, (!!) and then we both passed out in his bed together. My feet were cold and he was so cute and wrapped his feet around mine to keep them warm. When we got up, he took me out to breakfast. He just dropped me off not too long ago. We made plans to have dinner tonight, and that was that. No kissing, a bit of snuggling, all in all a nice and cosy night. I still have no idea how he feels about me but it was def comfortable being around him. If nothing else, he is very sweet and I've found a new friend. I see potential in him for more, but we will have to see what develops. I did catch him looking at me VERY intensely during the night once, when we were at the party. I really have no idea of his true intent, but he did say he can see Eric really likes Jessica because he takes it very slow with her, and I'm wondering if he is the same way. Any thoughts, guys?
  16. Jaela
    Dancesinquicksand, here is another thread dealing with the issue of platonic friendships as well link removed
  17. Jaela
    well I think you do have a problem with him having friends, or else you wouldn't have asked him to stop. Bottom line is, your husband is being sketchy. I can only see this from my own view, but if my significant other asked me to do something that bothered them, I would be honest in my response. Which is why my ex and I clashed so much. He expected me to give up things just because they bothered him (going out with friends, having a few glasses of wine while I was out, etc.) and I flat out told him he was being unreasonable, and I refused. I never agreed not to do it just to appease him, only to go behind his back to do it anyway. I have also never given him a reason not to trust me. You can't expect your husband to give up friends. It's unreasonable and unfair. You both need to talk together honestly about this issue. I can't imagine being in a relationship where I was paranoid the other was cheating on me. Do you trust him?
  18. Jaela
    I dunno, Dancesinquicksand. If I were married and experiencing this situation, it would make me nervous too. How is you and your husband's communication? It just seems to me that if he loves you and can see it is bothering you, he will make every effort to do what it takes to maintain the friendship while showing you that it truly IS just a friendship, and nothing you should feel threatened by. It seems like right now he is only building walls. I would never ask someone not to have a relationship with someone else, and perhaps that is why he's building walls. At the same time, you have every right to voice your discomfort. Darkblue, is he not accomplishing the same by not being honest with her request? It seems as if she is losing trust anyway, by him handling it this way.
  19. Jaela
    I agree that may be the case, Dark Blue, but at the same time why didn't he object when she made the demand, instead of agreeing to it? Nothing good comes from being sneaky in a relationship, especially a marriage. Dancesinquicksand, if I were in your position, I would bring your concerns to your husband and, as Dark Blue stated, do so in a loving non-demanding fashion. Tell him you have these concerns and explain why you feel the way you do. Allow him to explain his side and his feelings. It's never a good idea to demand someone to do something, as it only breeds resentment and now, obviously, sneakiness. But there does seem to be an underlying trust issue with the relationship. With this situation, you two need to communicate your needs and work towards a loving, respectful compromise together. Oh! I just reread the original post. She said she had asked him to stop and he agreed. It seems as if there wasn't a demand, only a request.
  20. Jaela
    well he is lying about it, which is never a good sign. I do believe it's possible to have strictly platonic relationships, but they never warrant being sneaky or lying. What situations have caused you to feel cautious, from the past?
  21. Jaela
    Hi Pash, I know it's difficult but it's something you need to gain a more accepting outlook on as you age and mature. My first love had been with over 15 girls when I lost my virginity to him. It is of course always painful to think of our love sharing those kind of moments with someone else. At the same time, she is with *you* because she loves and cares about *you*. Her past are her experiences that have shaped her into the person she has become today. She has every right to keep those moments private because they have no relation or indication on yours and hers relationship. My ex bf kept the details of his past very quiet, unless I directly asked him a question, and then he figured I must be prepared to hear 'the ugly truth' if you will, since I was asking. And you know what? Some things are better left unknown. He would never cheat on me, and he loved me tenderly, and that is all I needed to hear. Instead of dwelling on other person's past, it's better to respect it and realize that it is not what is happening now, and it shouldn't be affecting yours and her relationship. Please remember that she loves you, and you her. Dont let her past cloud that for you both. If it really is driving you crazy, be open with her about it and I'm sure you'll discover your answers. Just remember, some stones are best left unturned. Good luck.
  22. Jaela
    Hi Sweetheart, well we will see what happens tonight. I mean, he wasn't only sending vibes though. He told me straight out when we first met that he'd like to see me again. Well, he said, "You have to make sure Jessica and Eric (his roommate) get together again, because I'd like to see you again". This is when Jessica and his roomie were first starting to date. Then the second time we ran into each other at a local pub (I was with Jessica, and she was meeting Eric), he freaked out when he saw I was there. He said to Jessica, "I didn't know she was going to be here tonight!" then he came over, bought me a drink and pretty much kept me company all night. Then when he had to go, he asked if he could call me when he returned from Korea. It's just odd to me that he hasn't called, and yet is having his friends set up stuff for him so that we'll be able to hang out again. Is this guy just really shy maybe? Playing games? I dunno. I'm just going to go and try to have a blast. It'll be a bit awkward since I won't know anybody there really, but who knows what could happen. I'll let you guys know how it turns out. Wish me luck!
  23. Jaela
    Beec, I totally agree with you. I like this guy a lot, but it's just inconsiderate to expect me to come along at the last minute. I've had guys pursue before where they would call me and ask me out on a date, and not last minute. This has always given me a clear indication of their interest. This guy hasn't called once. Yet he was thinking of me enough to bring me up to his roommate while he was in Asia, and beg him to set something up where we'd be able to see each other again? I don't get it. Why doesn't he just call me himself. Well, Mike's roommate and my best friend Jessica are dating, and they just called and invited me out tonight with them. Apparently Mike's roommate's cousin is having a small get together, and Mike will def be there. Jessica said she's been requested to 'drag me out'. I will go tonight and hang out, but I do admit I'm half tempted to say no. After tonight if the vibes are still good between Mike and I and he still doesn't call, I really have no idea what to think. Maybe this is his way of testing his interest further? It will afterall be only the third time we've seen each other, and he knows I just came out of a relationship, which may explain his caution. I'm just confused because I know if a guy is really, really interested, he would call himself. I'll play coy tonight and see what happens. I do really like him, and this bugger def has me baffled.
  24. Jaela
    I'm so confused on whether this guy Mike likes me or not. We've ran into each other twice now, and had a great time talking. The first night we met, he told me he'd like to see me again. The second time we met, I gave him my number and again he expressed interest. He was leaving for South Korea for ten days and asked if it would ok if he called me when he returned. I told him to have a blast in Korea, and of course he was welcome to call. His best friend told me to leave tonight free because Mike is now back and would like to see me again. But he never called. I have no idea what is going on for tonight. It's frusterating because I'm not sure if I should make other plans or not. If a guy is into you, he would call, right?
  25. Jaela
    Kyoshiro Ogari, the chapter is closed only when you allow it to be closed. Work up that confidence and go see her! The worst scenario is that she'll make it clear she's not interested. Or perhaps she'll respond in a friendly manner, and you'll have made a new friend. You may also inadvertently brighten up her day. You will never know unless you take risks.
×
×
  • Create New...