Jaela

As for your finances and saving up for your SUV, what I would suggest is writing down that goal and posting it somewhere in your room where it remains visible and can be a constant reminder for yourself of what you hope to achieve. Next, sit down and figure out your income and how much your willing to spend each week on leisurely fun things, and how much you want to set aside for your goal of an SUV. Be diligent with this! Take control of this goal NOW and don't let it control you. If you have an urge to spend, talk with someone you trust (family or friends) who may be willing to hang on to your money for you to make sure you DONT spend it. Budget yourself, and that SUV will soon be yours. Keep us posted

Hi Anxious Heart. I read somewhere once in a book called "Don't Sweat the Small stuff" that we all must remember that our 'inbox' is never empty. Meaning, there will ALWAYS be things we've meant to do/haven't gotten around to doing yet, and this is in fact a good thing! What I do is write down a list at the beginning of the day of all the things I hope to accomplish for that day. Then throughout my day, I will check my list and check things off as I do them. Usually they are small things (feed kittens, clean kitty boxes, vaccuum room, wash sheets, homework), etc ... eventually everything gets done at my leisure, and I feel a sense of accomplishment. I am a huge horrible procrastinator so I can definitely relate to you on that level! I learned a neat trick to helping a procrastinator get something accomplished. Think about something bigger and more impossible that needs to be done, and you will naturally want to do the 'smaller stuff', anything! to avoid doing that huge impossible task. This is a great way of getting small things done because in my mind I'm avoiding doing something I don't want to do, so instead busy myself with other chores. I lack confidence in myself as well, and this is something I'm slowly learning to readjust. Alot of it comes from automatic negative thinking, as well as feeling anxious if I do happen to make a mistake. Right now I'm allowing myself to make mistakes as much as possible because to error means to be human. Don't be so hard on yourself, and get out there and accomplish those dreams

Hmm. What percentage of the world population speaks Czech as their native language? How about Italian? Using these figures, you could gauge which language could ultimately prove more useful by allowing you to communicate with the highest degree of people as possible. Italian does seem like a more convenient or easier choice for you, and it is a beautiful language! But considering your interest of politics, Czech may prove to be a bit more difficult, but also more rewarding. Good luck with your decision, and keep us posted.

Oh! I just read your reply to my earlier post. Looks like we have similar advice for each other.

Hi Yorkrose. Congratulations on making it through an audition! You should be very proud of yourself. Remember that fate works in mysterious ways, it takes being at that perfect place at the perfect moment in time. Remember to maintain a positive outlook, and never give up! You see the potential you have to offer, now allow others to feel that potential as well. I can remember hearing story after story of celebs receiving rejection; Brandi being told she would never make it as a model or singer, Tyra Banks being rejected time and time again, and they both kept their heads high and never gave up, instead they tried time and time again. The band No Doubt? A small local band, for YEARS they struggled, suddenly one day they made it red hot. You never know what you have to offer that next audition, or what connections you may make or what opportunities might arise. Never ever give up, and big huge hugs to you for having the guts to put yourself out there! {{{Yorkrose}}}}}

Hi guys, and good morning. Right now I am a student enrolled at a local community college and finishing up my final year for my associate of arts. I took many years off after I graduated from high school and traveled abroad to Europe, where I met a man and we became engaged. I moved into a new scandinavian culture and spent the past few years studying the danish language. Now that I've returned to the States, I am worried about my age and how it may affect my prospects in the job market. Since 9/11 jobs seem to be extremely scarce, and I feel worried about finding something steady and fulfilling. Right now I work on campus in the library and media center and the job can be fun, although not particularly challenging. It is just something to help me pay for my car insurance and maintain myself while studying full time. I will be turning 25 in May, and I suppose I just have this fear that I waited too long to become serious about my education. Even now I feel I am seriously lacking direction in what type of field I'd like to zero in on. I love writing creatively, as well as traveling, the environment and working with animals. My ideal dream job would be some type of documentary work regarding world issues, or a reporter for the National Geographic, for example. It just feels like I have such big dreams and yet this gnawing fear of not being young enough, or not being focused enough in time to accomplish my dreams. Does this make any sense? I am doing outstanding in school right now but I still feel as if I'm lacking some type of direction, or guidance. At any rate, it feels good just to voice some of these concerns here on this forum. This site can be a bit addicting, and I suppose I should return to my studying now. 8)

Hi Sugarsweetness. Hmm. When I was younger (below 10 years old), I was considered very mature for my age and made pretty good judgement calls on character. From age 11 until age 13, I started to recognize my own gifts more. I went through a sort of unexpected spiritual transformation and fine tuning throughout these years, and the end result is what I experience now. (I am 24, if you were wondering). It wasn't something I learned persay, but more something that came to me over time. It is very strange ... I find that people I barely know tell me their deepest secrets a lot of the time, within just a few short meetings of each other. I try very hard not to abuse my gifts, but it can be unsettling sometimes. I've experienced other things as well, almost like a power of foresight, but when I sit down and actually try to think about it or explain it in verbal terms, it ends up boggling my mind as well. I have no idea if any of this makes any sense, I hope I don't sound too much like a babbling looney. But yes, I believe strongly in auras because they are a physical energy I can literally feel permeating around people. I don't know how much with science this agrees with, it is certainly something I can't really explain in scientific terms, but there you have it. A bit off topic but, has anyone seen the film, "What the #$*! Do We Know!?" It is a film based on quantum physics and might help explain some of these strange phenomena more elaborately, at least in more scientific terms. I also highly recommend this film for anyone undergoing their own spiritual awakening. link removed

Aww, it's ok Ilse, *hugs* Oral for me is another form of expressing my love or affection to someone. In a completely erotic way, of course.

I dont view anything wrong with oral at all. I love the intimacy, making my man moan and groan, feeling him in that way, and the ultimate feeling of satisfying him is overwhelming for me, not to mention a HUGE turn on.

I have a special gift of feeling auras. It's hard to explain, it's like all of my senses open up in a peculiar way, and I can actually feel things radiating off of someone. Like sparks of energy or particles or ... I really dont know how to describe or explain it, except for the word 'vibes'. On rare occasions, I've felt auras so powerful they literally encompass a whole room, shooting upward in various geometric fashions. I know this must sound so weird. I really wish I could explain it better. I feel a lot about people by being around them, this is not exclusively auras, and rarely are my 'sensors' or instincts wrong. I do doubt myself sometimes, which usually leads me into trouble. I have to admit that I am a bit devious about this because I can get along with just about anybody, simply by feeling out their aura and putting my own in synch with theirs. Does that make sense? I am a definite observer who infiltrates many boundaries and groups almost seamlessly, a social chameleon, if you will. I never do this with harmful intent. I enjoy being around a wide variety of people.

Hi sugarsweetness. I can relate so much with your post, it literally brings tears to my eyes. It is like reading a breath of fresh air! I've just broken off a relationship with my ex, and it truly feels good to be able to 'breath' once more. I too feel I've learned so much from this relationship, as he certainly brought out the uglier aspects of myself. I see many areas I need to carefully work on and adjust. Although the past is filled with much pain and heartache, I do feel blessed to have learned the lessons I have experienced through this. And there were truly beautiful moments in our relationship as well, ones that I will cherish always. Thank you for sharing your own thoughts.

double post

That is good advice, Mailman. I too have constant negative thinking and it's something I have to consciously adjust every day. A good thing to do is write down all of your ANTS (automatic negative thinking) and change them into a positive. It takes a lot of work but soon you will start thinking more positively. As hard as it might seem, don't constantly dwell on things. Learn to let them go because then you are only constantly living in the past. Enjoy the here and now, and surround yourself with positive energy. Really, who cares what others think about you? Do you think they waste their time worrying about it? It's just not worth living a miserable existence trying to please everyone else. Your own well-being and happiness should be the top priority. It might sound selfish but just do good when you can, and keep good friends close to you. I should add that everyone falters, everyone makes mistakes. Pick yourself up and brush yourself off and learn from those experiences. Then let them go. No one can change what has happened in the past. You can only change the current moment. Adjust it to your own happiness. I am a perfectionist too and you know what the most liberating thought is? Hey, no one is perfect, myself included. I'm allowed to make mistakes because I will only grow stronger from them. Don't fear making mistakes, or letting others see you make them, because you are forgetting to live in the process. 8) {{{hugs}}}

well ive been in this situation before where i was crazy about the guy, but i was also too afraid to fall in love. i had a very traumatic relationship a few months prior and i hadn't fully healed yet. so i told him i cared about him deeply but i didnt feel ready for a very serious relationship at that time. I felt better at that time by taking things slower. now i realize i really goofed up, but i genuinely felt freaked out. so i dont believe its always just a line.

Definitely motion of the ocean

Hi NotJustAnybody. I can really relate to this poem. Thank you for sharing.

Well, I think it's both. You are definitely being a good friend to him because you obviously care for him in that way. But it seems you are also interested in transcending a mere friendship boundary, to see if there is potential for something more. He seems to be occupying your thoughts a lot. Have you ever considered meeting your friend in person?

I view online correspondance similar to pen-paling of the olden days I can remember when I was very young, I used to write as a penpal to a girl in Africa, and a boy in Sweden. Through the years a deep friendship formed, although we have never met in person. Cyber relationships are also a solid basis for building great friendships with great potential for more, but it's hard to see how a romantic love can fully manifest itself until a formal face to face meeting has happened. I do believe many people can get swept away in a fantasy, which is why i think it's good advice to meet a potential romantic interest as soon as possible before allowing daydreams to take over. Just my two cents.

Hi guys, I'm looking to dabble slowly into dating again, but with my busy school and work schedule, it is a bit difficult to meet others. I do some online courses and usually spend quite a nice chunk of my day on the internet, and I love chatting and meeting new people. I know some people have tried online dating before and it has worked out well for them. Have you any suggestions on quality dating sites where I could set up a profile? Do all of these places cost money? Or have you any suggestions of other ways to meet new people online? I would love to hear where all of you guys frequent. Thanks in advance

Hi guys, i've been very sad lately, and suffering from very low self esteem. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago because he was becoming more and more abusive, both verbally and emotionally. This is the second time I've broken up with him since we started dating four months ago. After each break he would usually contact me after a week or two, and I always went back to him, but his attitude became progressively worse. Last week, I told him that I loved him very much, but he made me feel frightened and I no longer felt safe or secure in our relationship. I told him I needed time to step away from the situation because I felt I was losing myself in the relationship. And I also secretly felt I deserved better. He has resorted to very derogatory name calling and insulting before, as well as called me a whiner for telling him he was breaking my heart. The problem with all this is, I do love him and it is taking all of my will power to maintain NC so that I can heal properly. I realize this relationship is not healthy and I need to stay away. But I find myself missing him and our happier moments together, and my heart aches. Then I think, maybe if we tried just one more time ... Can someone please talk some proper sense into me?