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Found 14 results

  1. I wish I was pretty. At school all my friends are drop dead gorgeous. Everyone has changed their look coming back prettier than ever, while I have looked the same for basically all my life. Sometimes my friends say that I'm pretty when I self-doubt myself. But I don't think it's true. Every morning I look into the mirror and see all the things wrong with my face. My face is too long, my nose has a huge bump on it, my eyes are to far apart, I have too much acne. I hate everything about it. My cousin is extremely pretty and I always wish I looked like her. My sister is so pretty and always gets compliments. I'm a person who always preaches self love and confidence when I actually have none. I'm always wearing a sweater even on the hottest summer days because I dislike the way my arms look. I want to pretty like the others. I wish I had enough confidence to post on instagram. I wish I didn't always delete every photo I took of myself.
  2. I was giving my partner oral sex, he was moaning as if he was into it, and then he pauses and starts talking about a female we both know, he noticed wasn’t at an occasion we were just at. he first said i don’t think it’s the right time to say this, then proceeded to say it anyway. I stopped oral and got quiet. took a while to process everything. is my partner just not into me? why is my partner stopping oral pleasure to mention this? am i in the wrong for being uncomfortable? should i just let it go?
  3. It’s been 5 months since me and my ex ended a 4.5 year relationship. At this stage I am doing better than I was a few months ago! My motivation is back and I’m working out most days which has definitely improved my self esteem. I have pretty much given up all hope of her returning to me. She hasn’t reached out or made any other attempts to reconcile. I am pretty sure she is still with the guy she left me for! So here I am back on dating apps seeing what’s out there again. It has been hard to not doubt myself at times. My question this morning is how do I let go of all the baggage in order to prosper in a new relationship?
  4. I’m 21 and we dated for almost five years. We were together through some huge moments in our lives. She ended it because she wanted to pursue her career and we both needed personal growth. I had similar feelings but this was both our first relationship and I was unwilling to see it end at the time. It’s been a couple weeks since it ended and we have been pretty much NC. I have always been the deeper thinker so it seems I am taking it harder. I’ve developed a self destructive belief that I’m not good enough for future relationships. I know I have a lot of good things coming my way but I always envisioned her there in some sort of capacity. Any advice for getting through self doubt and believing you are good enough? Could really use it right about now, thank you.
  5. I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has been sexting the girl that he's supervising at work over quite a long period. A text popped up from her while I was at his that was disgusting, so I opened it and found A LOT more. All about how he made her hard (but he did put "haha joking" after that one), what he likes in the bedroom and what she'd do to him and him commenting on how she'd look naked and asking exactly what she likes. I told him that it was over straight away as I would never put up with cheating, but he is now arguing that It was "all a joke" and it's not cheating at all; it was only a bit of a laugh. He's constantly putting letters and flowers through my door and continuously calling and begging me to take him back. I had no doubt in my mind that I didn't want to stay with him but I feel that his constant messages letting me know that I'm over-reacting are making me doubt myself. I just wanted to ask how everyone else would react to this? Is this a deal-breaker for you?
  6. I am a shy person. I’m interested in someone, but I’m not sure if he likes me back or not. Sometimes I think he might, but he can come off as being a bit aloof; he’s hard to read. Anyway, I find myself being very nervous whenever I talk to him and I’m always saying “stupid” things. Or at least I feel like I’m saying stupid things... I’m constantly overanalyzing and/or regretting things I say. I’m always thinking things like, “Oh that sounded like I was gossiping about someone. I don’t want him to think I talk about people behind their backs!” Or, “Wow that comment sounded so selfish. He’s going to think I’m a total snob.” It just feels like everything I say is the wrong thing. I’m sure that I’m thinking about what I’m saying way more than he is. Trust me, I’m very aware! But I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m saying the wrong things. I guess my question is how can I calm down and stop being such a spazz all the time? The constant self-doubt and questioning is draining.
  7. Hi, I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience like I split up with my ex over a year ago now and I feel like I have moved on but I am just finding it a big struggle to feel like I did with her with any new girl? Ideally, I would like to find a good relationship but tinder etc, not really provided this so far, maybe I am too picky. I'm definitely not the greatest looking guy but not the worst but I just seem to have no self-confidence with girls and to be honest I am very shy and have a lot of insecurities, I over think a lot and always think of the deeper subject, not really a great trait. I am definitely an introvert which is not good at all. My upbringing wasn't great but I'm hopeful my life won't turn out like that and determined to change it. Girls sometimes approach me in clubs that kind of thing but they definitely sense my feeling's out uncertainty or self-doubt, a lack of confidence, obviously it's not what girl's want at all and I understand that. Gym' helps me feel better obviously and running but even for the last two months my motivations shot, I'm tired of being so behind. On top of this, I have recently lost my job about 3 weeks ago, and I am 24 now and have no real career in place or career plan, to tell you the truth I don't know which field to pursue as I really don't understand what I actually want to do. This is causing some major worries really, as at 24 a lot of my friends have careers and good paying jobs and nearly every one of them is now in a long-term relationship. It kind of feels like I have been left behind so to speak and that I am kind of 'behind' by 24 if you know what I mean. I have about 5-8k GBP saved up as maybe thinking of going traveling or doing something like that, I feel like I have an identity crisis.
  8. I left my partner this past weekend. We have 2 children together. The first year was amazing. The 2nd year began to show problems and by the time of our 2nd baby, I felt like I didn't even know the man who I shared my home with. Basically, he lied, stole, spent all our money, put me and the children last and was physically violent during my pregnancy when I would catch him out on bad behaviour. The last 6 months were the hardest yet, he completely treated me like crap. Ignoring me, wouldn't let me talk, called me names and when I told him i was leaving, he would threaten my life. Eventually I planned out my escape. I left this past weekend. His first reaction was to be angry, but it lasted maybe 10 minutes. Since, he has cried, begged, threatened his own life and the entire time made promises to be better. I wasn't expecting this at all. I expected him to be violent. I would have found that easy to cope with, not this.. Is this normal? This amount of begging and pleading? He says he will not let me go and won't accept the breakup. It's rocking my nerves and definitely playing up my guilt and self doubt. Has anybody any advice for me? My therapist says he fits the description of NPD. I cannot see her until next week and would really like to make sense of all this and stay strong. Tia x
  9. I've started to look at apartments. Several years, and two kids later. With tax refunds on the horizon and the most stable and well-paying job I've ever had, I know this is the best shot I'll have for at least another year of moving out successfully. He slapped me again a week or two ago. Being a fan of classic black and white movies, I have to admit that when he's nice I manage to convince myself that the slapping wasn't such a big deal. But I've been doing this long enough to know that it is more than that. Not to mention that its not the worst its gotten. I don't know. I just need encouragement. I need to push past this feeling of self-doubt and guilt about leaving him. I need to feel like I'm doing the right thing, not to just know it. Does that make sense? I'm not an idiot, and I know if I were to stay (and I can't) that I'd end up dying a little more. That I will not be able to have a night out with him without fighting. That I'll have to walk on eggshells when we talk. That I'll end up in more debt, and my credit will get worse. I know these things, but he knows me. He knows how and when to make it evident that he is helpful to me. That life is also easier much of the time with him. Yes, he is my abuser, but he's also been the only person I have to vent to for years. When I run into trouble, my natural instinct is to call him. If something funny happens, I reach for the phone... to call him. Whether the boys are well or sick, he's there for them entirely. I've been looking at apartments, which seem to require that I make 3x the rent monthly (which btw rent in Florida is crazy. I don't make three times 1,300 to pay for the 2 BR I Bath apartment I need). I've been thinking about childcare. I've been preparing my accounts, and doing all of this secretly while smiling during conversation when I'm home. I feel like an , and its not fair because if it weren't for HIS abuse I wouldn't even feel like I need to uproot my life. But I have to do it now. I NEED to do it now. Just venting. Thanks.
  10. Hi everyone, I’m new to this site and could really use some advice. Hopefully you’re all doing well. My self-esteem is, just like with all teens (I’m 17), oscillating a lot: at one point I feel like I’m at the top of the world and at another point I feel so worthless that I wish to disappear. I’m working on this, by confronting certain behaviors of mine and learning to recognize certain patterns (though it’s not less difficult to deal with this). The problem which I’m having has to do with dating and love in general. Disclaimer: It could be that I’m just overthinking everything. I find it very difficult to actually fall in love with a person and even like them in a non friendly way. It has a bit to do with high standards regarding conversation, but that’s really not all. When someone expresses interest in me, they’re subconsciously less worth to me. I think it has to do with my low confidence: I hate myself, so anyone that likes me is just as bad as I am for ever liking such a worthless person. (So it’s not me playing hard to get!) Another reason may be the fact that I can’t project my ideals onto them, when I get to know them. (I’m aware that projecting is not good thing!) In short: The problem is that I can’t ever enter a romantic relationship, because as soon as that person likes me, I’ll subconsciously deem them of less worth for even considering me. I really hate this, especially as I know this isn’t true and very unfair to the amazing people I know, but it’s very hard to shake off that crippling (self)doubt. Anyways, sorry for the long ramble and I hope someone can maybe give me some advice on how to cope with this extremely low self-worth.
  11. There’s a a guy, we had feelings for each other at one point but became more on the friend level. He is very insecure and has a lot of self-doubt. I wrote him a letter to convey he is a strong person, etc. Now I may have used conveyed my message a little too prominently. I didn’t meant it to be romantic nor have I ever tried making a move on him in any way. He got angry with the letter and told me I was pursuing him and that made him uncomfortable. Grant it, we are currently not speaking. I tried to explain my intend, but he will not listen. What should I do??? Here is the letter: One day you look at a person and see them as something more than as “just another person” or another “face in the crowd” (not necessarily in the context of lust). You begin to observe what others and he himself may be blind to. You see the enigmatic look in his eyes & his warm smile when he sincerely shows it, the alluring way he rubs the hair around his mouth and chin when he’s frustrated or nervous, the intriguing way his legs quiver unconsciously, his witty humor that makes you laugh when implicated in a light hearted teasing manner, how desirable he looks in a button down checkered shirt, that cocky expression he makes when he thinks he’s being a smart-ass (in a peculiar but yet fascinating way), the care and generosity deep inside that he keeps secret to hide his vulnerabilities, his tenacity and intellect that drive him towards higher achievement and his penchant to work hard which makes him an admirable and respected person. The world has unfortunately made him blind to all that makes him a desirable and incredible person. He only believes in his own self-doubt and the insecurities of who he thinks he is that have been developed from past and possibly current life experiences. It has eradicated his self-worth therefore causing him to employ a guarded facade and engage in egotistical conduct in order to push away others to hide what he feels makes him appear vulnerable thus resulting in misunderstanding and wounding infliction onto those who care about him, but his ego refuses to accept that responsibility at this point because he is too intrinsically guarded. If only he could see through those same eyes how attractive, desirable, smart & efficacious he really is and therefore learn to accept himself. I wish him the best in his independent journey of self-improvement and acceptance and hope he learns to see and accept himself for the great things he has to offer. Caveat: the intent in composing this letter is not to be misconstrued as romantic intent, but instead as a mirror of sorts to hopefully reflect the light inside that has become overshadowed by darkness. “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” ~Henry david thoreau~
  12. I've been thinking about this girl a lot lately that I've known since we're were kids. I've had feelings for her throughout my life but I've unable to express how i feel. Mainly because I was really shy. We went out about 4 years ago and we had a good time. Unfortunately, I didn't pursue the relationship further because of my self doubt. I contacted her couple years later to see if we reconnect. It didn't go as i would liked. Now I really want to see her again and hopefully start relationship and I want to fully commit this time. Any advice on how to proceed? Thank you.
  13. I met a guy online about 6 weeks ago. We’ve been dating since then. It took me quite a while to decide whether I really wanted to keep dating him or not, but I recently decided I did and that I really like him. We’ve been on around 7 dates, and the last two we’ve slept together. Date number 7 we went out for dinner then he stayed at mine. It was the first time we’d spent the night together, and we got up the next morning and went out for brunch. We chatted. It was lovely, we even had a goodbye kiss when he went home. Since then he’s been quite distant via text. I asked if he wanted to catch up on Sunday and he said he wasn’t very well, so wanted a quiet night, so I’ve asked again about tonight and he’s not responded. I really didn’t get the impression from him that he was an immature- ignorer type man, but now I’m starting to doubt myself and thinking that maybe I got it wrong and he’s trying to back away from me? It’s really annoying because I just let my guard down. I feel like I’m at the point where I’m going to get hurt :-( What should I do? If he says he’s busy tonight, how do I react to show I’m not cool with him not replying to me - and that if that’s what he’s looking for then I’m not the right one - without sounding like a psycho??
  14. I have been dating this girl since early May so just over 2 months and everything is going great, we message on a daily basis and have been on 5 dates (not including the night we met which was in a bar). The first 4 meet ups were just after work for meals and a couple of drinks but last saturday I took her on a full night out drinking round my closest city and then to a club; we both absolutely loved the night and had a great time. Some photos were taken and she messaged me yesterday saying she'd showed them to her family and asked if I had too (good sign). This weekend I'm taking her to a horse racing event which is a massive deal and we've both been out this week buying new expensive outfits to dress for the occasion. I feel like it would be the perfect time to ask her to be official as we haven't actually had a talk like that yet. The problem is I am a natural shy person and have never done this before (only had 1 previous girlfriend and she was the one that asked me!), so part of me keeps thinking what if she isnt ready and what if I spoil this big day by putting her on the spot etc. Plus like I say eventhough we've been talking over 2 months, last Saturday was our first BIG meetup (rather than just a meal after work) which is also making me have thoughts like should I ask to be official in only the 2nd BIG meetup? I've always been an anxious person and worry about every little thing, all my mates are telling me the races is the perfect time but like I say I keep doubting myself thinking what if I spoil her day. In terms of how close we've been during the dates, since the 2nd one we have been making out at the end of each night, and on Saturday we did several times for a minute+, but haven't gone any further. I think already that this girl is amazing and hope she feels the same about me from the messages she sends and the fact shes making such an effort for Saturday, but as I say I keep doubting myself. Like I say I think the fact it is only the 2nd 'big' meetup is the main thing. What do you think from reading through the above?
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