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  1. after a devastating breakup, the first of its kind after being together for 5 years I feel so unsure of myself. was I not good enough? how did he lose feelings so easily? am I that bad? I am full of self doubt. how do I believe in myself when im too broken? Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
  2. Self-doubt is a problem I know I have, and I've had for years. I think a lot of it stems from growing up with quite overbearing "you can do better" sort of parents - which was great for encouraging me to learn new things when I was younger but now that I'm an adult, has left me with the sort of mentality that I constantly doubt the worth of things I do or say. Some of this is just every day life things - like feeling like I've wasted time I could have used on something important whenever I do something relaxing but mindless like watch tv, or play a computer game; or worrying about where I'm
  3. I seem to have good days and bad days...or sometimes good hours and bad hours. I think I brought this one on myself though. Last night I stupidly texted him to ask if he found a place yet. I do need to know the date he is planning to move out because all the bills are in my name and I have to arrange with them to turn services off and get my deposits back and such. But I could have just waited...he's going to tell me when he is moved out, and if not I could have just had the services turn off the last day of the lease. So, probably was just a bit of rationalizing in my head to find a reason
  4. About 3 weeks ago, my relationship ended. From day one, I made mistake after mistake, stupid decision after stupid decision. But I never truly understood what I had done until now. 3 weeks ago my girlfriend had decided to message my children's mum about meeting my children without speaking to me about it first. I questioned her about this, asking her why she didn't speak to me first. It turned into a row and I ended up telling her I "needed some space". Bear in mind that we live quite a distance apart and we didn't see each other as much as we would like. In saying that, I put myself
  5. Long story short.... I feel like I am currently struggling with intense emotions of anger sadness and negativity about myself. I was dumped about 4 months back by a girl who I broke.up with because of her lack of commitment to move relationship forward about 9 months back. She came back after the first break after a couple of months (when I was emotionally alright and moving on with life) and asked to get back together. I decided to give her a chance as she seemed genuinely sorry for letting me go. And then after 4 months of resurrecring the relationship (LD) she dumps me because she "just
  6. Dear Reader, a little about your mind , a little about your thoughts is all you need to put yourself in a hole of never ending doubt. how it makes you feel less , how it makes you feel incomplete and how your mind rips the very chord out of you. self doubt ,suicide and dropping down to your own floor , never wanting to get up again. These are my demons , these thoughts holding me back theses dark days in a mind which is a dark sky that never seems to lighten up. How there would be a wish of just clearing it all, if it was only possible to turn a switch off in a mind strangling your
  7. It’s been 5 months since me and my ex ended a 4.5 year relationship. At this stage I am doing better than I was a few months ago! My motivation is back and I’m working out most days which has definitely improved my self esteem. I have pretty much given up all hope of her returning to me. She hasn’t reached out or made any other attempts to reconcile. I am pretty sure she is still with the guy she left me for! So here I am back on dating apps seeing what’s out there again. It has been hard to not doubt myself at times. My question this morning is how do I let go of all the baggage in order to
  8. It has been three months since my breakup and I am still having incredible difficulty gaining back my confidence. This is the first time I was ever broken up with and it feels really horrible. It really is the worse side to be on. I wanted to marry her and she broke up with me the night before Valentine's day. The thing is, I know the relationship wasn't very healthy. I have started to remember things she did to me that were so horrible or were extremely hurtful to me. I know that everyone who knows what our relationship as like wonders why the heck i am having such a hard time with this. The
  9. Hello, this is my first time posting. I'm not one to ask for help much but I feel like I don't really have any options other than to see if people around the world on the internet can show a little guidance or light to a strange situation. I don't really know how to title this or how to ask it, but here it goes. In a lot and almost every social situation, I feel as though I am boring or not of interest to anyone. For example if I'm out with my guy friends and we meet some girls, an equal number of girls for us guys to mingle with (one girl per guy) and I'm talking to one of them, it's as th
  10. Trying to improve my confidence and could use some advice Ive spent the last few years rebuilding my self belief and overcoming self doubt and have become a better version of myself the problem though is that the rebuilding process has all been internally , externally i still feel that i come accross as a shy, anxious or maybe just monotone (idk how people perceive me tbh) I cant seem to engage people in a way that matches the way i feel internally and im currently in the frustrating situation of having a lot of positive thoughts , ideas and outlooks but lack the ability to share
  11. I am in the process of building myself up to become more confident and strong. I am therefore checking where I stand concerning personal boundaries. I have come to see that I lack some emotional boundaries. After years of being bullied at school, I have still not into my adult years managed to trust completely in my own capabilities and feeling confident about myself. I always wonder if others' criticism about me is true and I start analysing my behaviour. Part of the reason for this is my personality which I can't and don't want to change, but the way I let it control me is unhealthy. Jus
  12. So I came to the forum a few days ago about how I was comparing myself to this girls ex and feeling self doubt. We continued talking and it was great, till a few days ago she stopped responding after I responded to one of her messages. I let it go as she sometimes responds a day later after reading messages. I sent her a message a day later and no response again yet she read it. I've let it go all weekend and not bothered messaging didn't want to be a pest. Now I just feel like there is no point pursuing or that I should fire one last message sometime next week and that will decide. Confusion
  13. I’m 21 and we dated for almost five years. We were together through some huge moments in our lives. She ended it because she wanted to pursue her career and we both needed personal growth. I had similar feelings but this was both our first relationship and I was unwilling to see it end at the time. It’s been a couple weeks since it ended and we have been pretty much NC. I have always been the deeper thinker so it seems I am taking it harder. I’ve developed a self destructive belief that I’m not good enough for future relationships. I know I have a lot of good things coming my way but I always
  14. I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has been sexting the girl that he's supervising at work over quite a long period. A text popped up from her while I was at his that was disgusting, so I opened it and found A LOT more. All about how he made her hard (but he did put "haha joking" after that one), what he likes in the bedroom and what she'd do to him and him commenting on how she'd look naked and asking exactly what she likes. I told him that it was over straight away as I would never put up with cheating, but he is now arguing that It was "all a joke" and it's not cheating at all; it was
  15. I am a shy person. I’m interested in someone, but I’m not sure if he likes me back or not. Sometimes I think he might, but he can come off as being a bit aloof; he’s hard to read. Anyway, I find myself being very nervous whenever I talk to him and I’m always saying “stupid” things. Or at least I feel like I’m saying stupid things... I’m constantly overanalyzing and/or regretting things I say. I’m always thinking things like, “Oh that sounded like I was gossiping about someone. I don’t want him to think I talk about people behind their backs!” Or, “Wow that comment sounded so selfish. He’s goin
  16. I had panic attack today. I really don't want to go into major detail why. I am clinically depressed and I go to counseling. Life has been a roller coaster lately. Things start to look up and I feel more certain about what I want in life, but then out of nowhere I become depressed, self doubt comes back, and I'm not sure of anything. Everything seems to be some trigger lately to the point I'm always irritable and I wrongly get defensive and take it out on people I care about. Today was one of my lowest days as I haven't had a panic attack and a couple of years. I'm feeling a little better now,
  17. My ex shattered my confidence and I lost a sense of myself. I always second guess myself now. Who I am, My strengths , my opinions, even my beliefs. He is influenced me so much with his close minded and selfish thoughts and beliefs and I hate it. How do I stop second guessing myself and go back to sticking to my personal values?
  18. I just posted about this here I was so sure about my actions and still have him blocked. Now I find myself thinking that maybe it was my fault, maybe there was something I could've done differently, maybe I should have just apologized to keep things going. I am beating myself up for storming out and swearing instead of ending things in a more adult way. I keep trying to remind myself that I made the right choice. I HAVE ended things in a more adult way a few times previously and he always comes back because it leaves the door open. He was a person who couldn't even buy me a birthday c
  19. Hey guys, been talking and seeing this girl for A while now. Get along very well and always have a laugh. My only problem is she was last with a guy much older than me, this has kinda brought a mass of self doubt upon myself. The feeling I can't give or provide some things an older guy that isn't a student could haha. It's really effecting me and my mindset. Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar feeling and how you dealt with it. Shes the same age as me by the way and we have a lot in common, maybe I should just shut up and try enjoy it haha
  20. Hey all. First of all, I've never done this forum thing so I hope this will be of any help... I met a girl about a month ago, she is stunningly beautiful and we are in a relationship now. Every time we go out together other guys and girls whisper to her that she can do so much better than me... Like constantly. I agree that I am not the prettiest guy in the world, with small beer belly but I don't think I am that ugly... All these comments are just slowly destroying me. My girl said that she loves me (and I think she really does) and honestly I think she is a keeper because she hates an
  21. Hi, I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience like I split up with my ex over a year ago now and I feel like I have moved on but I am just finding it a big struggle to feel like I did with her with any new girl? Ideally, I would like to find a good relationship but tinder etc, not really provided this so far, maybe I am too picky. I'm definitely not the greatest looking guy but not the worst but I just seem to have no self-confidence with girls and to be honest I am very shy and have a lot of insecurities, I over think a lot and always think of the deeper subject, not
  22. I left my partner this past weekend. We have 2 children together. The first year was amazing. The 2nd year began to show problems and by the time of our 2nd baby, I felt like I didn't even know the man who I shared my home with. Basically, he lied, stole, spent all our money, put me and the children last and was physically violent during my pregnancy when I would catch him out on bad behaviour. The last 6 months were the hardest yet, he completely treated me like crap. Ignoring me, wouldn't let me talk, called me names and when I told him i was leaving, he would threaten my life. Eventua
  23. So I just went on a date with a girl I met online. She had a great personality and cute as well. We seemed to have a good conversation over dinner and when we left she said she would like to see me again. Why do I always doubt myself when it comes to actually getting that second date? I have had a pretty good success rate with getting a second date, but I feel like everytime girls say they would like to see you again rather than say "sorry I wasn't feeling it" (which I would rather prefer to be honest). Is this normal for me to think? Part of me feels confident but I always have th
  24. Hi all, I'll be going on my first date since my last relationship. I went through quite a traumatic break up 5 weeks ago, we had been together a very long time, I was cheated on blablabla... Anyway I have come along way since in my recovery through therapy and wonderful support from friends and family. I basically decided I didn't want to put my life on hold because of the poor actions of my ex, he had moved on (even before we broke up) and I was ready to move on too...not waste another minute crying over a relationship that I was lucky to be out off (I see that now). Anyway I met what
  25. I've started to look at apartments. Several years, and two kids later. With tax refunds on the horizon and the most stable and well-paying job I've ever had, I know this is the best shot I'll have for at least another year of moving out successfully. He slapped me again a week or two ago. Being a fan of classic black and white movies, I have to admit that when he's nice I manage to convince myself that the slapping wasn't such a big deal. But I've been doing this long enough to know that it is more than that. Not to mention that its not the worst its gotten. I don't know. I just need encourage
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