volution

I know it might sound cliched, but when you encounter someone so infectious, so utterly like yourself, someone that you'd never thought you'd find... But then realise you're never going to be with them - you try and think about finding someone else... But you realise that you'll only ever find a poor shadow of the person, and it's better to be alone than to try and find what you saw in them in someone else... Sometimes, I admit, depression and despair can make you think you'll never find someone else even 1% as good as them ever again... You won't find another them, but you'll find someone else... The trouble is, there comes a time when you can't bear the pain of laying your soul out anymore, because the unchanging experience of failure and rejection is so utterly and permanently ingrained into your heart and soul, there is no energy or spirit left - and life loses any meaning for you (me)...

Women are just as bad as men when it comes to the relationships department. Sometimes, worse. I can never work out why so many women stay with abusive pieces of poo that treat them like dirt, and say that they love them; even when their soulmate passes by - they just don't seem to have the insight anymore to recognise how their lives are being destroyed...

Unfortunately, most of the time you recognise someone as 'the one', they don't recognise you, and you can't be expected to give up your entire life and wait for them whilst they are having fun with someone who treats them like dirt.

Deep down, you don't miss *him* - you miss what he made you feel like. And you believe you won't feel like you used to feel ever again, unless it is with him. (I experienced this after my only relationship). I admit from experience the luring temptations of the flesh (touch, warmth, physical union) can sometimes overpower our hearts and make us seek out or try and redeem abusive wasters. You HAVE to get over it, otherwise if you were to reunite with this scumbag after he has finished ruining another girl's life and comes back to you to beg you to have him back, you might end up dead or near death. Think of the poor soul out there pining away for his true love, lonely and hurting, waiting to but give his gentle, tender kind love to you. And until you tear away the metaphorical cords that bind you to this evil man, never the twain shall meet...

Quite often... I can see no hope or future for myself. All the strength and light has been sucked out of me, brokenhearted over 20 times; I just can't be moved or feel anything anymore...

Abusers don't just hurt the ones they abuse - they hurt those that care about the ones being abused too... BTW, it is so ironic, your situation is almost identical to someone with the same name as you on here...

"Online Dating is for mugs..." - that's my new catchphrase Good for one-night stands or shallow meaningless encounters, yes. Serious relationships, no. As I have iterated previously, the only people who really benefit from these sites in the end are THE OWNERS laughing their asses off at the end of every month laughing at the lonely people, laughing all the way to the bank with their ill-gotten money. You're not the only one who's sick and tired of everything... Don't worry, the loneliness only gets worse as the years go on...

Unfortunately ALL Internet Dating sites are based on Age-searches primarily. So people HAVE to search by physical age searches. So 99% of the time women will search men their age or older, so those like ourselves are stuffed... (Believe me, this is from years of experience and hundreds of pounds utterly wasted on dating services). As for the other 1%, they're immature or looking for sex. (From experience, again!).

LOL - for most men read: "Are we going to have sex tonight?".

I've also always been interested in older women - my beliefs/interests seem to be shared mostly by women in their late 30s/40s... The trouble is, like someone else said, most men are immature compared to a woman of their own physical age. And most women prefer older men, which is a big bummer you'll have to live with. Most women that prefer younger men are only interested in sex [cougars] (I found this out last year with a woman who used me). The sad thing is, I can't even get an older woman to give me a second look because she'll assume that because of my physical age I'll by default act like the stereotype - so I guess I'll have to wait 20 years or so before I'm taken seriously - but I'll be dead by then of loneliness... It's what's inside that matters - but so few people realise that, because of negative experiences or social pressure to conform to believing stereotypes. I only find 'girls' of my own physical age appeal to me physically - and I'm not interested in a shallow, meaningless cold physical relationship. I want to have a spiritual relationship - and gung ho, those women that want one too are in their 30s/40s etc. catch 22. What a pile of poo!

Loveless Enough provocations everywhere - A man could want to throw Himself under a train - To stop the pain, of being loveless. Darkness, blacker than deepest black. And an inner pain like an electric Shock - why a punishment for not having Any love - love is our surviving? Coldness and fear - for love is missing, And so too are the warmth and Security that only it brings. No reason for living - no hope in sight. Brave efforts, made in vain - such Injustice everywhere. It's not your fault if you're nervous and Too frightened to tell them how deeply you care. Why such bitterness at seeing others In love - such anger and jealousy? But everywhere you look, they're at it, Everywhere, as if to tease you, not at it. Such fear can come - it's not your fault. What if you've found the right one, Yet no matter what you do they Don't want you? You need love to live - what will Happen in the end? Will the faithfulness, the honesty, The good intentions be finally rewarded? That end could be anytime if you Are without love, for your heart Is weak and disappointed. You live on the edge of madness, ready to fall... And nothing matters, there is no meaning To anything - all is trivial and unimportant, When the love you seek betrays. But the meanest fall is dying loveless...

Tell me about it... Those that are single don't have a chance, because there are very few people left that want a relationship and aren't already in one. Plus, I believe infidelity is worse in England than most Western countries...

I know how you feel - my father is verbally (emotionally) abusive... Unfortunately, I'm never going to be able to get away from it, because of the despicable housing situation in this country (I don't want to live in a room the size of a toilet for a month's wages). I suffer from depression and some complexes because of the way he had carried on since I was born. He used to scream at the littlest thing - for example, if the wind blew and a door slammed he screamed like mad at me or my mum; and he is pathetically stubborn - he won't accept anyone else's opinion or being told something. And he does have a go at my mum when she even does something out of the kindness of her heart. I've tried my best to get on with him, but I don't even really know him, and I feel I'll never know him, because they way he has acted and continues to act. It's not so bad as it was, but years of being constantly put down, told 'you know nothing', 'we're going to chuck you out', kind of put a crimp on the rest of your life... When I was too young to stand up for myself he would slap me with his belt and also sometimes a snooker stick. And he used to get my mum to sympathise with him. But now she realises what a a-hole he was and still is sometimes. I used to be such a gentle soul, and at my heart I still am, but his years of evil anger has infected my soul, and I struggle to get rid of it...

I've been on two communication courses with my company - for both of them they talked about different styles of talking - that how you say something is far more important than what you say... Especially if talking on the phone or to somebody who appears to be highly-strung or volatile. There are two forms of questions - OPEN and CLOSED. Closed questions are those that seek a fixed and usually short answer, like "Is it blue?" (YES/NO), "Where do you live?", "Would you like to go to dinner with me?" They are called closed, because it is much harder to follow them up. Open questions are those that elicit a much broader range of responses, like "What did you do last night?", "What's you favourite music?", "How have you been?". The trick is to try and use Open questions, as they tend to make the person feel that you're intelligent and more interested in what they have to say. Closed questions can sometimes make someone apprehensive (Eg: "Do you have a boyfriend?"), because they tend to sound abrupt and invasive and they ask for a definite answer. Whereas an Open question like "What kinds of things do you like to do at the weekend?" is much more easier and comfortable for someone to answer. The information that someone can give you in their answers to Open questions can give you a starting point to expand the conversation...

God...men eh! What a bunch of shallow, stringing-along beasts.... It is clear that this person doesn't really see love as more than sex and physical attraction - no-one who thinks of love as more than this would EVER say something like "I don't find you physically attractive [anymore]..." There are probably unresolved issues with this chap, and I would forsee that you would have trouble if you were to ever try and rekindle something with him - problems don't just go away, and relationships have the uncanny habit of stirring up everything within us, good and bad.... And "Maybe" is usually just a light put-down, so as to not offend. In relationships, maybe usally means never again...

If only more women had the power to say goodbye...

It is hard - when you are left alone, burdened with the knowledge that someone you loved, didn't really love you... Love isn't about who we feel like having sex with, or looks beautiful at one moment in time... Believe me - I know how you feel - I've talked with a woman about getting married, and having children; she told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her, and all kinds of other things. I believe now that she was only saying the things that would coax me to stay in love with her, so she could use me. Perhaps this was the same with you... It's hard to stop thinking of someone you cared about, even if they have hurt you - jealousy, rage, hate, ambivalence, depression, fear, anger - so many emotions one can go through. It's funny too - about pressure - I was pressured too... I lost my virginity to the woman, and she kept going about marriage and children and everything, but I believe she only wanted me for sex after I found out some things later on... I wanted to go slowly too - it was my first and only ever relationship with a woman (it was an LDR)... I went from only ever previously kissing a girl out of drunkeness, to having full on nymphomania thrust upon me with marriage/children/soulmate/eternal-love talk thrown in from the first night we met in person! After being dumped in the most coldest of ways, I fell apart, went crazy for a few weeks, and almost killed myself on several occasions. It takes a great deal of time to get over someone, months, perhaps even years... And it is so hard to stop thinking of them, even now I think about this woman occasionally - I wonder if ever I will feel the touch of a woman again, let alone make love or get married... But I *can* say this one thing... A woman that cares so much about someone that she will find another to take their place so callously and quickly, doesn't deserve to be called a 'woman' nor does she know what 'love' is...

Sensuous My eyes. I use them to scan Your beauty over and again, Just to make sure I'm not Dreaming. My hands. I put them all over you, To enjoy your less degree Of coolness that hots up my passion, Always. My nose. I place it close to your Head, to smell your floweriness, Which infects me, like a melody That's ours. My arms. They lock around your precious Body, tight and gently, so That I can prove to myself that you're Mine. My ears. I let them listen out to your Voice, so that I can drift Off into a blissful place that is our Paradise. My body. All of it, I place it up to Yours, as we sleep together After the act - to imitate our Oneness. My lips. I place them on yours in an Age old-fashion, yet everytime We discover a new, delicious Feeling. My soul. It belongs to you - and Yours to it. When they join, love becomes real, And oh so sensuous...

You should report him to the police - men like this get away with their filthy, dirty, horrible abuse for so long, because most women are too frightened or too upset to tell anyone - these men prey on the gentle, kind souls and scar them deeply, making their victims the ones that feel guilty - all the while they get away with murder... And the women they have hurt find it hard to have relationships in future, with real, good decent men... Abusers don't just hurt the ones they abuse, but they ruin the threads of other's lives - I've experienced this both directly (through a relationship of my own) and indirectly (someone I loved was abused by a scumbag and it affected me too)... It's natural to think about people (even those that have hurt us) that have moved on to someone else, and imagine how they are having a good time with someone else whilst we are suffering in the bowels of loneliness's icy hell. When my only ever relationship ended in December last year, the woman that betrayed me seemed to carry on as if nothing happened and started trying to find other men to use for her sexual desires - we had met through an astrology forum, and she started posting all kinds of innuendos and things to other men on there, which really hurt me (some of the other women on there said she was the female equivalent of a male b******d! ). I dwelled on how I was so alone and in pain whilst she was no doubt gallavanting around with other people.. It takes time, and perhaps a great deal of time... Those that treated us worst seem to be those that are the hardest to get over... But remember, there are gentle souls out there, gentle-men, who's only desire is to bring tender love and warmth, honesty and faithfulness to one lady for the rest of their lives, above all others...

Story of my life...

Ocean of Love A common line: So many more fish in the sea. Oh yes, but they don't Taste right - you are my Caviar, and the rest just Taste rotten. There's no real, true delight To be found elsewhere - just Empty, hollow shells of Contemplated passion. I could go trawling every Night, and bring home a Different catch - but The hunger would return tomorrow. My loveboat has travelled Far, and wide, and been battered Many times by the seas of Rejection, and the winds of despair. It's fuel is running out, and Needs to be replenished. Perhaps I'll drift, aimlessly, forever, Without you - or maybe I'll capsize. An ocean of love, so vast, So lonely - be my albatross.

It sucks being alone at any age...! People have also told me that joining clubs/classes should be of help - I recently started a Tarot class - 15 people including myself - 2 men and 13 women!! Most of them are 40+, no-one single by the looks of it... I don't know why I bother...

I know exactly how you feel... First I discovered most men are horrible and full of rubbish (by the way they treat women and life) and now I have discovered most women are horrible and full of rubbish... I know they are generalisations - but what I mean is that most people only care about themselves, and very few are altruistic. When you have mainly met/seen people who are selfish, shallow, materialistic, cold, artificial, then you can't help but believe everyone in the whole world is like this. It is such a difficult and vicious cycle to break you believe that everyone is bad, so you don't even try meeting others; you wonder why you even bother being good when everyone else seems to get farther than you and more lucky by being bad; you wonder if ever you'll meet anyone of the opposite sex even as a friend let alone lover or partner; you become depressed, tired, exhausted, fatigued of the world; and then when the slightest beacon of hope appears, it seem to fade away just as quickly, and you find yourself heartbroken and even worse than before; you try and hope that there is goodness in the world, but you can't find it no matter the darndest you try; and so you give up trying and just stay in a self-fulfilling cycle of depression and darkness - repeating over and over again... There are levels of horribleness - like those men that beat their partner & children up is one level, and that a man who has an affair maybe a different level... Who's to say that a cheat is less hurtful than an abuser? Perhaps you could run away from an abuser, but you'll never get over a cheat... It's difficult for those that are interested in more than the daily grind, 9-5, token partner & car/house/kids/mortgage lifestyle to find anyone that isn't enraptured in the blue-pill materialism of this ever-deteroiating and selfishing world.

Us If I said I love you, I would have lied, Because this is more Than love I have for you, inside. I saw it, yesterday, Something in your eyes, That told me, in You, an angel lies... Inside, I felt so Warm - no longer hungry, Was this my love, Your love, or just fantasy? When we were together, Somehow I knew, That you are like me, And I'm like you. My love for you is Not simply about passion, But warmth and care Forever - I'm no con. Give me a chance, I can show you, How much I could Give, and do. It may seem so wrong To all around us, But we'll laugh at Them - create a fuss. How can I let You, my all, go? When you are the Only one who wanted me, no? I have only you left, For nothing else matters to me, Except the one I love, And all their beauty. Let's do it, together, Life, love - everything, We'll prove them all wrong When you wear a different ring. I'm waiting for you, And I have cried, For I thought for me, You had no love inside. But we kissed, Didn't we, and cuddled, And our thoughts, our feelings Weren't muddled. So, the future awaits, For us to take, We'll know it's happened, When beside each other, once more, we awake...

There is one thing to your advantage - many women like bald men (for those that can remember when Star Trek Next Generation was first shown in the late 80's - Captain Picard aka Patrick Stewart was voted world's sexiest man because of his baldness!). There are plenty of people with no hair (by choice or not) that have done well (eg Ben Kingsley, Andre Agassi, David Beckham)...