jl301

I don't know where you get that idea. Yes, lawyers do put alot hours in the office, however it doesn't mean that she won't be able to balance her work and private life. There are lot of jobs out there that require people many hours during the week. However, it really depends on the indiviudal itself. Have faith in her and yourself!

Good Answer Kellbell.

hey dreamweaverdude, Just hang in there alright! NC is very hard thing to do everyone, however is the best thing for you to heal from all this pain. The most important thing is for you to focus on yourself. I would wrote her letter and telling her that you need time to heal. After sometime has past then maybe you guys would work on trying to be friends. If you think is too hard for you not pick up her phone calls. May I suggest changing your number. I know that it can be a little too harsh and very inconvient. But it is really difficult to move on when you still stay in contact with them. I know for some people is impossible to do "NC" because kids are involoved. If she really needs to contact you then have her do it through email. I know is really hard and seems like you are being really harsh to her. I think "NC" is the best way to go. Hang in there and be strong for yourself. jl301

I agree with annie24 and that be patient with him. Two of you need talk with one another more. You can't force anyone to fall in love no matter how much you try. Hang in there!!! jl301

Hey guss32, I believe that you are doing right thing by going the "NC" route. She is the one that broke up with you. If she wanted space and then let her have it. remember don't let her keep string you along and of course she is scared that you will find someone else. She knew that she messed up by breaking up with you. She wants to make sure you can still be her backup. I know it may sound little harsh right now. Don't just take her back right away, so make her work for it. What if she pulls this again and again you will be hurt by her. Hang in there and be strong for yourself. jl301

remember no one is perfect and that what ever happen in the past, let it go. I know is really diffcult to do. Know that you can't do anything about the past however you sure could charge what happens now and what lies ahead. I believe when you fall in love with someone and that you will always love them for the rest of your life. They were someone special that made us happy, laugh, and cry. We will always treasure the special memories that we had with them. Hang in there and get some sleep. jl301

Hey, Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about your situation. Losing your first love is always hard for anyone. I know you are really sad right now, but with time it will get better. I don't want to scare you or anything. You are still very young and that you go through many other break-up's besides this. remember this phrase "What ever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger". It is so true and like what shes2smart says; "Time is a great healer". Try to keep yourself busy and not focusing so much on this loss. I know is easier said than done. But there is no use for you to sit in your room crying over it. It's not going bring him back to you. Hang in there and be strong for yourself. jl301

Hey curly, I know how difficult "NC" because many of us are going through the same thing right now. We seek for affection whether is from our ex's or someone else. Sometime we wonder if all this pain would ever go away. I glad to hear that you are not just sitting at home soaking in this pain. Do whatever takes to take your mind off this subject. Hang in there and be strong for yourself. jl301

Hey, Don't send her the card. I know that you still really want to be friends with her. However do you realize how many times did she not call you back or during your holidays. Don't bother and start the "NC" thing. It just sound like that your are the "Purser" right now. Try to move on and take your focus off her. I know you are sad right now, however it just seems to me that she doesn't want any contact with you right now. If she wants space and then give her all the space she wants. Use this time to focus on yourself. Hang in there!!!

I know is really difficult right now to do "NC" thing. However, is for your own good. She says that feels so bad for putting you through all this pain. Of course , she going to say that. I really doubt it that she is going to say that I'm so happy for putting through all this pain and torture. If she cares about you in any way then she should leave you alone for time being. Instead of maybe giving you false hope. I know this is difficult and hurts because I'm kind of going through same thing right now. Hang in there!! jl301

Hello everyone, I have given a lot of thought about this and I decided that I'm going to move on with my life. I going to start the "NC" again and this time I'm not going to break it. I really like this girl, but I like myself better. Just have gut feeling inside that I just need to let this go. I'm sad because I really believe we could have something there. It just makes no sense to me that is all. Especially about her saying that she really miss me. I don't know about you guys out there. If you really miss someone would you want to see/ talk to them. I guess I'm just tired of dealing with this right now. I'm just going to leave it up to her from now on. Once again thank you all so much for listening to me. I will keep you guys updated, if anything dramatic happens. jl301

Hey Hopefull99, I think we kind in the similar situation right now. You feel like she is giving the run around and not giving the honest answer. I want to ask you something? How much do you like her? Is she worth it for you to be feeling this way. I don't know your whole situation, but maybe she is really difficult time right now with her ex especially during the holidays or she has lost interests in you. It seems like you have initiate everything and bascially you left ball in her court. Whether or not, she wants play or not is up to her? I think the best thing for you maybe to prepare yourself to move on. However, I won't cut off contact completely with her, if you really like her. Don't call anymore and do no contact thing. Just email her from now on and be very brief in the email. If she doesn't responded than you know is time to move on. There are plenty of fishes in the sea wanting for you. I just find it funny that I trying to give you advice and yet I'm kind the same situation like you. If you like take look at my post under Relationship and title is "should I move on (Dating an single mother) Thanks and good luck with all this. jl301

Hey, I just want to tell you from my own experience on long-distance relationship. It takes a lot of deication, trust and patience with one another. I don't want to scare you it is really difficult to maintained long distance relationship. My attempt at LD relationship only lasted about three months because she decided that she couldn't take the distance between us anymore. She went school in D.C and stay behind in Kansas City. So we were half away accross from each other. There are so many things that needs to come together in order for LD relationship to work. Understand if your love for another is strong than you guys should be handle this. "What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger" Hang in there and be patient with him. Don't freak out if he doesn't call you all the time, like you said; he is busy with classes. Wish you luck with all this!!! jl301

This is her email response: I was just thinnking about you! How's school? Addie is doing great; she walking everywhere. I hope your trip went well. Did you bring me any bok choy( or whatever it's called) I really miss you! CK Okay, if she really miss me then why hasn't call me or want to see me. We haven't seen each other for almost five weeks now. She just being nice or what? Tell me what you guys think about her email response. Thanks!!!

I agree with Vanilla and that her past has nothing to do with you. I know you are just in shock about the whole thing. Don't try to over analyzed about this because it will drive you nuts. I really think she was a little embrassed about it. If she wants to tell you about it, she will and don't keep on asking her about it. Do you know what? I think you should use this as your advantage. Maybe this another side of her that you get to know and she is shy about telling you about it. Maybe this will lead to an more exciting things in the bedroom. I think you are just too stress out about things and just try to relax. Everything should come back to normal, hang in there! jl301

I'm sorry to hear what has happen to you. It will be okay, I know it hurts right now and the pain seems so unbearable. First of, you need to walk away from thisl. No one deserve to be in abusive relationship because is not worth. There are so many guys out there that is willing to treat you the way you should treated. Everyone feels that they can't never find anyone better than their ex because that is our human nature. We get comfortable with them and now we force out our comfort level. Everything just seems really scary right now because you feel that you won't ever be loved again. Just hang in there!!! Is great that you happy being by yourself and there is nothing wrong with that. I think is great because in order to love others, you must love yourself first. Trust me, you are not going to lose your motivation because horomones will take over. I hope you feel better and know that things will be okay. jl301

Hello everyone, I just emailed her and kept it brief. I just show my concern for her and told her not to get stress out about things. Well I did my part, however part of me feels that I'm going to be disappointed by her response. I don't know I'm just getting a bad vibe that is all. But people always say that trust your gut instinct. Well I guess my instinct tells me that I'm going to get hurt again. I will let you all know what happens later on and once again thanks to all of you who reply to my problem. Sincerely, jl301

Hello everyone, Thanks for replying everyone. I think I will email her in the next couple days to see how she is doing? But I think I will do the "NC" thing also. I have already told her that I think that she is beautiful and that I willing to go through everything with her. I really believe that she just needs to figure things out on her own. Like I said in my previous post and that I left it with her. I care about her, but I'm not going to force anyone to have relationship with me. I really care for her, however the person I cared the most is myself. I'm just really scared that if I put myself out there for her and that she rejects me. I will be hurt again and I don't want feel that way. Is really up to her, however I just hope that I will still be around. I want her to be happy whether or not we can be happy together. Well I guess only time could tell us that? jl301

Hello everyone, It has been a while since I have been back to this website. This website in the past has given me some great advice about problems. I guess I'm back for some advice. First off, I want to go ahead and thank those who replied to my problem, thank you!!! I was in relationship with this girl (single mother), we really only dated for about month and however things went south right before Christmas. I want to give you guys some background information before I go deeply in my story. She is 25 and single mother with daugther that turn 1. We used to work together, but she left to pursue another job. Everyone at job has been telling me that she has crush on me for about year and half now. We finally decided to go out because both of us really don't like co-worker relationships. Another thing, I'm good friends with her brother. During the brief period that we were dating. We really enjoyed each other company. However, things changed dramaticly right before Christmas. Appearently her ex which is her daughter's father best friend died of cancer. From that day things changed between us. So to make the story short, after about two weeks of dodging me. She finally wrote me an email on New Year eve's. In her email that she says that she feels inferior to me. She wonders why an guy like me would ever like someone like her. She also went and said that is difficult for her to talk to me right now although is tearing up her heart right now because she can't talk or see me right now. Bascially she goes on and talk about wonderful I make her feel. She feels that there so many things she needs to work on internally. Like that she hates her body which leads to her being intimate with me. Deep down I know that she has alot of issues, but there still something that drawns me to her. She also really stress out with her new job. The ex is also giving her trouble. She really needs his help with taking care of her daughter in order to cut down on child care. He told her that if she sees me again, he will leave her. I wish I could help her, but I'm currently in law school right now. School bascially takes up all of my time. I really don't know what to do. She says that she needs time to think about things. I don't know what to do. There could be many things that could happen and that she could try to go back with the ex for the sake of the kid or did she just lost interests in me and this is her way to reject me. There is just so much on my mind right now and that I can't stop thinking about her. We haven't talk to each for about two weeks now and I really want to call her. But I'm not going to because I don't want to be "Purser" anymore. I left the ball in her court whether or not, she want to plays one on one with me is up to her. I don't want to get hurt and I guess after writing this. I feel so much better!!! What do you guys thinking? Sincerely, jl301](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

Hey lovemetender, To be very honest, it situation doesn't look very good from your standpoint although I don't know the whole situation at hand. But it seems like he took advantage of you, (eg. sex). I hate say, but that was probably main thing that was on his mind to be honest with you. He knew that he was going to be leaving in couple months and that he won't have to deal with you anymore. However, he can be really torn about the situation and that he does really like you. But he doesn't want to create more hurt between the two of you, since he is only going to be here for couple more months. We all know that long distance relationship takes alot of effort / trust even on the couples that have been together for while, let alone dealing with people that only knew each other for a month or two. It just seems pretty odd that he decided that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore after you guys had sex. I know all this may seem really harsh to deal with, but it's reality. We all wish our lives can be smooth and magical like we imagined in our minds, but we all know that ususally never happens. I know you are really hurt by this and really painful to deal with right now. You have to be strong for yourself because you are the only one could help make the pain go away. Hang in there!!!

Hey there, I know that it just seems to you right now that nothing good will ever come your way. I really believe that all of us at one time goes through this phase. A phase that we feel lonely/ unloved by others and that we feel that we are never going to be loved again by someone. Time will heal all your pain / anguish. I know that is what everyone says. Don't try to focus so much on trying to find someone. Go out with your friends and try to clear your mind about this. I know it may sound really difficult and that is too hard to do. You are the only one could do anything about it. There is not a little magic pill that everyone could take and ease their pain. Just hang in there!!!!!

Hello everyone, I really don't know what to do? I feel kind embrassed talking about this subject, but I really like this girl and I want to feel better about incident that happen two days a ago. I especially want the female perspective on this. Well here goes, I know that lot of people out there is going to laugh there ass off on this. But I cared about this girl so much that I don't mind asking for advice on this. This girl and I have been talking to one another for about three months now. We have kiss already and she told me that she really likes me. Two days ago, she came over my house. We fool aroud and we kissed for long time. Soon later, we both got our clothes off and she ask me, if I would think bad of her, if she wanted to have sex with me. So we decided to have sex. Well, here comes my problem, I was aroused the whole time we were fooling around, but when it comes to it. I did not rise to occasion. I don't know what happen is not like was not attracted to her. She had killer body. I guess I just got nervous and now she feel really embrassed in front of me. She now thinks that I don't like her as much I think I do. She feel really embrassed, I don't know what to tell her because I really do like her and that I really wanted to have sex with her. I just don't understand what happen. So now she is feel weird around and that I told her that it was all my fault and it has nothing to do with her. She says that she might not want to see me anymore. I told her that would really hurt me really bad. So we talked and I told her all the things that I felt and that I not trying BS around and that I do like her alot and that I am very attracted to her. She told me that she really likes me and that she know I am good thing for her and that she shouldn't throw it away. So now she says that she cool with it and that she doesn't want to talk about it. She will still talk to me everyday, but she doesn't want to see in person for a little bit, she says the at most it would be two weeks that she won't see me. I told her that it will drive me crazy, but I will respect her needs. I just don't want her to threw all this away it away. I told her we can make that weirdness go away. What should I do? What should I say to her? How do I make the weirdness go away between us? We still have hope between us right? Please I need all the help I need, thanks.

Hello everyone, I am back for advice again and that I think totally screw up with the girl that I like at work. To make the story short is that she just broke up with her boyfriend about a week and half ago. Her and I have been flirting with one another for the last three months and that we have been talking to one another on the phone almost everyday and sometimes even twice day. But I got frustrated because I was trying really hard to read her whether she like me or not? So dumb ass that I am told her that I like her last Sunday. This was the beginning of mistake. I shouldn't have said anything to her. Then last night, I made bigger mistake I ask her how does she feel about me. The answer I got was I don't know. She says that she is not say no or yes. She is just don't know. Well I guess in my eyes that is a no. I don't know what everyone thinks. She also says that she doesn't want to ruin the friendship that we have right now. She thinks that I am one of the sweetest guy that she ever met. She also said that since she just broke up with boyfriend. She doesn't want get back into it so soon. I totally understand and that I told her over the phone and that I even wrote her email to tell her that. I want her to get to know me and me getting to know her better. But She told me last night that she would call me today. But she never did. She didn't have school today, but she did have to work. I thought I would least get a email from her since she went to work. Unless she was too busy to replied to my email or she didn't check email today. What should I do. I will see her at work tomorrow. I know that I keep saying that I would not pressure her and what I do? I went ahead like dumb ass and start asking her how she feels about me and tell her how feel about her. I really can't believe and that I am trying to have hope. But did I blew with this girl. What should I do when I see her tomorrow. Should I just play it cool and not to talk to her. Or should I ask her why she has call or email me. Is this her way trying to avoid. I am kicking myself about all the mistakes that I made in the last seven days. She have never pressure her. But my emotions just took over me and that I had to know how she felt about me. So in the end. I want to ask everyone. DO I still have chance with her or should I just move on and start easing my pain on this. If I should have chance, how should I deal with her. Should I just leave her alone for while and let her do the calling. Please I really need on this on. Every comments or suggestions would help. Thanks, Sincerely JL

Hey Holly, Wow, you are in really difficult spot right now. I think the best thing right now is for you to be his friend and listen him. Whether is to help him get back his girlfriend or help him move on with his life. I don't think the timing right now is very good because if you tell him this. I think you would make him feel uncomfortable especially he just broke up with his girlfriend and plus he is trying to get his ex back, right? But I don't know what you are going through, but I would have to imagine that is really difficult to go through. Trying to help the person you dearly love for so long and trying now to helping get his ex back. It is difficult, but look at this way. He decides that he wants to move on and that he will thank you for being there for him. He would appreciated because you were there to pick him when he was down and that you didn't try to complicate things even more by telling him how you feel. But I do have to say this and keep your feelings inside is very difficult. I have the same problem as you know. But I think that you are very intelligent lady and that just follow your heart. But I think you should tell him later down the line, I can't tell you the exact date or time. But I think you will know when that time is? Who knows, he might have similar feelings for you as you have for him. You never know the what holds for us in the future, you try your best and hope for the best. Whether or not, you like it or not. I hope that things will go well for you and keep me updated. Good luck with everything. JL

Hello everyone, I just wrote her a email I wanted to know how does everyone feel about this. Should Correct something and what action should I take from now on. Should I just play it cool call her once while or what? Please tell me............. HELP Here is the email, that I send her. Hey, I want to say is that I am very sorry for my behavior for the last couple days and especially last night. I should never put you on the spot and ask you how you feel about me. Of course you are going to say you don't know. I feel really bad because I was telling how I am really understanding guy and here I am trying shove myself down your throat. I'm very sorry Angelica, I hope that you forget all stupid behaviors. I hope that you really understand that in no way I am trying to rush you to do anything because that would be the last thing that I would do. remember what I said that sometime I just act really stupid around girls. You know now that I am not ladie's man, if I was would be really suave and cool about all this. I really hope that you understand this. I just hope that you after all this stupid things that I have done. I hope you just not brush me off and just immediately go the easy route and just consider me as friend. You are totally correct about that we really don't know each other outside from work and that we just talk on the phone. I would love to get know you better and let you get to know you better. I know that right now you really don't need someone right now because you just broke up with Bryon. He was three years of your life and that I know he still meant a lot to you. Who knows you guys might get back together maybe you just need time away from him or you really just need to move on from him. I know all this needs time and that I am willing to give you time. I willing to be your friend now because I really enjoy talking to you. Who knows with time things will change, maybe you realize that you are ready to date again whether if is me or someone else. I stand by what you believe and want. You are nothing what preceived to be and remember what I told you. "Don't ever judge a book by its cover" You are nothing what people think and that you are determined girl that knows that she will not put off bull-S*** in her life. What you said about you don't want to ruin what we have right now. I totally understand that. I think it can be better with getting to know to each other better. It takes time to get know people. But it requires both individual wanting to getting to know each other. If you don't mind me asking how did you and Byron get together. Where you guys friends at first. From now I am not putting any pressure on you and that let just have mentality of trying to get to know each other that is all, whether is talking on the phone or going out to hang out or to eat. We will let time tell who knows, who never know that who holds for us in the future. All I ask is that you give me fair opporunity for you to get to know me and for me to get to know you. I am not trying to bragg anything. I believe that I do have a lot of good qualities to offer to someone. Don't laugh, my mom said that I am good catch just no one is fishing in my pond yet. (HAHA) I hope that you won't feel awakrd around me. I'm sorry for my behavior and that I hope you understand what I am trying to say to you. Have good day at work and I will talk to you later!!!!