jl301

Hello everyone, I was the one that wrote the first "Urgent need help now" Well, I just alked to the girl that I liked. This is what she told me that she doesn't know how she feels about me and that she is not saying no or yes. She said just don't know about me. She said that we talk on the phone and stuff, we really don't know each other. But how in the hell are we going to get to know each other, if she doesn't try. I know that we don't know each other, but that is the reason that we need to hang out and talk to one another and get to know one another. She also said that she doesn't want to ruin what we have now. That we have good relatisonship right now and that she is really afraid that she will ruin that. I told her that is truth, but if you don't take the risk, you would never know. I told her that the greater risk you take , the greater reward you get back. I know that it is really a lot to risk and is really easy for me to say because I am the one that has the stronger feeling towards the other person. I also told her that I totally understand that she just got out of relationship with her previous boyfriend of three years. But he was such a pyscho and she even said herself and the main reason that they broke up because he got too jeaslous. I really don't understand, I tried to be understanding and that she thinks that I am great guy. But I feel that this the beginning of an rejection. I feel really depress and down because I really like her, but I understand that you can't make anyone like or fall in love with you. I just wish that I had an chance to show her how great I would treat her. Do you know what nice guys always finish last? I am so tired of it, everyone says that I am great guy and that I would be great catch for anyone. People always say that if they don't have boyfriends, they would want to date me. I know that people say things just make you feel better. I don't know what to say to her anymore because I am just so disappointed. I just want to know should I give up now and ease my pain or do I still have chance. Should I just leave her alone and let time progress itself. I don't know anymore, I always tried to do the right thing, but it always seem like it back fires on me. Please give me advice, I feel so downed right now. Thank you all Sincerely, JL

Hello Everyone, I really need everyone's help and specially a girl's point of view. There is a girl that I really like and that we have talking to one another on the phone. About week and half ago she broke up with her boyfriend of three years. He was just getting to pyscho about her cheating on him and that he get so jealous so easily. She got so tired of it when other guys look her and he wants to start fight with any guy that looks at her. He just gets so over protective and jealousy. She said jealousy is one of the main reason that she can't stand to be with him again. She told him that she is not happy with him and that she needs time to be away from him. After she broke up with her boyfriend, she and I would talk alot on the phone pratically almost everyday and sometimes twice a day. However, her interests about me varies from week to week. So last Sunday, I think I made the mistake of telling her that I like her. I know that it might be mitake for me to tell her that. But I was getting so fruastred because I just really want to know that if she is interested about me. She told me that she was glad that I told her and that she said that she was interested in me, but she just broke up with ther boyfriend. Her friends said that just don't get back into again. I told her that I totally understand and that I just want to get to know her better and let her get to know me. I don't want to rush it either. Plus I told her I just don't want to me some rebound guy that she goes out with for couple weeks and then to be dumped by her. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I am trying to limit myself not to overwhlem her so much and that trying not call her all the time. I just want to do the right thing because I really like and that I think that we have potentail. I need everyone advice on this please, ASAP. Thank you all, JL

Hi everyone, I have another question again. I was the one who wrote "Attract to co-worker". There are two girls that I am interested at work and some how I found out that both of them said that if they didn't have boyfriends they would definetly want to date me. Both of them said that I could have a girlfriend right now. If I wanted too. Little do they know that I am interested in them. What does everyone think about this situation. I would love to get a female prespective on this. Should I just leave it alone and just be their friend now and whatever happens, Happens? Thanks, JL

Hey Ladybug, I just want replied to your topic here. I agree with the person above for what they have to say. Do you really know him. Meeting people on the internet is very common and lots of people do that now. I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel worse. But I just want to truthful and straight forward. Interent relationship can work, but it takes lot of work. People could be totally different while they are on the internet and the very opposite in person. I don't want to burst your bubble. Just make sure don't get yourself hurt. I know is easy for me to say that here. I know that the feeling of falling in love with someone is very powerful and is very hard to overcome. I don't know what you are feeling is love right now. I don't know if anyone really could define the meaning of love. Everyone has different definition behind it. No one could really understand whaty ou are going through right now and the person that knows the best is you. Just be very careful. Sincerely, JL

Hello everyone, I need everyone advice and help on this topic. Any comments or advices is welcome and I would greatly appreciated. I am currently single and I haven't been in relationship for almost about a year. It bascially took about a year for me to heal from my last relationship and I really want to move on with my life. There are two girls that I work with that I am really attracted. However, the thing is that both of them have boyfriends. Both of them have almost three years relationship with their current boyfriends. However, both of them have been really flirtious with me. Actually one of them ask me out to go have drink with her, but I think is just on a friend base though. But it would been just me and her though. I think both girls really have potential and that is why I am so attracted to both of them and plus they are really beautiful. Both girls have said that if they didn't have boyfriends, they would definetly want to date me. I know something like really in way doesn't mean anything, since they do have boyfriend. I know in my heart that I should even try to mess with this. What am I going to do try to break up their relationships with their boyfriends. That is not me and plus that wouldn't really look good on my part. The thing that kills me is that one of the girls boy friend have cheated on her numerous time and she has cheated on him before. But he doesn't know that, but she knows that he cheated on before. I don't know if she knows that is just noit once, but numerous of times, while he goes out of town. Can female tell me why do girls stay with guys that cheats on them and don't treated them well. Go figure!!!!! That is the billion dollar question, I think? I think I should be their friend for now and just hang out with them or should I do something different. Everyone notice that both girls are attracted to me, but ? Like I said so what? They have boyfriends. I told myself that I sure know how to pick them. Also I think I just don't want to get hurt again, plus eveyone said that what if they break up with their current boyfriends. But you don't really want to be the rebound guy because they really don't last very long. I do have to agree with that though. But deep down in my heart I have something here one of these girls. Maybe is just my stupidty talking here, but please giving some advice on this. Thanks so much. Sincerely, JL

Hey stillthere, I know that is really difficult for you not talk to your ex and understand that you still have alot of feelings and that you still love her. I know that there is alot of obstacles for guys to get back together. I don't know if that is what you want. I know is hard to let go because, I am kind in a similar situation like you, but I was the one that made the ultimate mistake. I am trying to get her back and that almost everyone in the world is telling to move on. But I really believe in my heart that we are meant to be together and that I will be patient and that with time hopefully she will forgive me for what I have done. Ask yourself, do you really want this still and the important thing is do what makes you happy. We really don't understand how you really feel inside and only you know. Everyone on this forum is trying to give you advice. I hopefully things will be get better. jl301

Hi Stillthere, I understand what you are going through right now and that is really difficult because I am in the similar situation. However, in my siuation I was the only one at fault and that I am trying to win her back. If you want to you can read my stories is titled" Trying to get the love of my life back part I and II" I don't know really what to tell you, but that I just want you know that there is alot of us out here that are in the same or similar situation like you. The pain so much to endured and sometimes it just overwhlems me and because we miss our ex so much. We miss the wonderful memories that we had with them. I don't know about you, I will never give up and that I will be patient with her and that hopefully someday she will see in heart to forgive. However, that doesn't mean that I am not focus on my life. I believe that everyone keeps telling me and that is the important things is to make yourself happy. I know what makes me happy. I going to go after that and work hard for it. Nothing in life is easy and especially relationships. I love her with all my heart and that never meant to hurt, but yet I did. I hope that I get an second chance. We have almost broken up for almost six months and it has been the most painful time of my life, but yet I realize is beginning of new person in me. I understand that people don't change over night and some don't change at all because they just pretend to do it. After their lover comes back and they go back to their old routine. How do you feel about her really? Ask yourself the hard questions. Why did really break up? I don't know how to tell you to ease the pain, if I know. I would help myself first. But all I know that is take it day by day. Try hang out with your other friends. I know people tell me start going out on dates and talk to other people. Is easier than done, however my roomate just break up with his girl two days ago and he went out on day last night. Go figure!!! I not sure if your girl has forgotten you already. I don't believe so, she made pretend to be, but I know that she still think about. That is the same question I ask myself almost everyday. Afraid that my ex is gong to forget me and forget about us. I don't know if I have been much help. If you need anything else, I think we are all willing to hear your stories. Sincerely, Jl301

Hey Mike43, I want to you know that you should be proud of yourself. You have come in long way. You been through so much pain and sorrow with her. But realize that you guys had some wonderful and magic times with one another. I agree with Slim shady, you do truly love another person, your feelings really don't go away and that they may stay with you for the rest of your life. She has made impact on your life and that she created a moment in time your life that which brought so much happiness and sorrow. But like you said you still love her though. Love is so wonderful and yet can bring people so much pain in life. I think you should just go with flow. Go with your heart and whether is right or wrong. Just go with your gut feeling. I want to tell you that I am going through in kind similar siutation. However, I was the one that mess up and that I am the one that is asking forgivness. I basically lied to her during our relationship, I don't mean it and that I don't mean to harm at all. No matter what people say, I really sincerely love her. The point I am trying to get accross is that I believe people really deserve an second chance, no matter who you are. However, that person really need to show the dedication to change. I know that you gave her chance before, but have you really sat down with her and talk about why she is causing all this pain upon you. Does she have insecure problem. I know that everyone is not going to like my advice to you. This is just my two cents about your problem. If you really decided to move on then you should just act who you are. Don't try to make her jealous, just be yourself. Last thing, I want to tell you and that is do what makes you happy and that is most important thing in life. Do what makes mike happy, no matter what you decided if it makes you happy then do it. If you can't be friends with her and you say that you also go school with her. Tell her that you need space and time. Go with your heart whether is right or wrong. I hope everything goes well and keeps us updated. P.S. = I would appreciated if you can response to my problem . My story is under the "Getting back together forum" Two stories"trying to get the love of my life back I and II" Sincerely, Jack

Hey Jessica21, I just want to say couple things and I don't know if it help you with your situation. I know is really diffcult not being with the one that you love so dearly. Those wonder moments that you spend with him don't easily go away. I know is really difficult because you miss him so much. I toltally understand because I am kind in the same situation you are in. However, I was the one that mess up and hurt the love of my life. If you like you can go read my story is title "trying to get the love of my life back I and part II" If you like and maybe give me some feeback on it, if you can I would much appreciated. Sorry back to your situation. Do you think he can change because you don't want to go back to him again. No one wants go back to an relationship that don't work. I know that you love him very much and want to be with him. What if he cheats on you again, how are you going to be able to take that blow again. I know that you probably would never want to endure those feelings again being cheated on by the one you love. I know that you situation is exremely hard because you work with him and live so close to him. However, you need to tell yourself. Is it worth the risk for you to go back to him ,if you do go back to him for while the pain that you are feeling might go away. Can you see your ex be able to change it around and be honest with you. I truly believe in my heart that no one is perfect and we all made mistakes in our lives. We are going to continue to make mistakes until we died because that is what we are because we are human beings. If he is really willing to turn it around then is up to you and you only whether you think that this relationship is worth going back to. I think you should still kind be friends with him. I know is going to be hard, but be strong and show him that you will be alright if you guys don't get back together. If he has any feelings for you then he will miss you and your presense. Maybe then he will change and wanting to come back to you as a new person. I hopefully I have been helpful to you, good luck and understand that "you are not alone". jl301

Hello everyone, I just have a couple things to say about my problem. I was the one who wrote the topice" Trying to get the love of my life back I and II" I also want to thank everyone who replied to my problem. I am trying to take in everyone's advice about my problem. Bottomline, is that everyone is saying to give her space to think. I recently talk to her and I was really calm when I did though. I told her that I realize a lot of things and that is that by me begging, pleading, and crying to her about her giving us another chance. I told her that I realize those things don't work. I told her that I can't never can be able to convice or guilt into coming back to me. I told her that I realize that everything that I have done before bascially have just push her further away from me and added more pressure to her. I told her that I love her with all my heart and that I will wait not because I think that I won't be able to find someone else, not because I am afraid of facing the true reality of losing her. I know that I lost her already and that I am remind that everyday when I wake up. I told her that I sincerely love her with every ounce of my body. I know that I may sound like sore loser to everyone out there. However, do you know what? I don't care because I love and that I know that deeply in my heart that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She made me feel so special and so at peace with myself. I made the unltimate mistake in a relationship and that is I lied to her. In relationship, "trust" is one the most important thing between lovers. I don't know if I did the right thing, she told me that she has to think about it. I hope I am doing the right thing. It is so hard guys, to hold back your emotions and sorrows not be able to express or tell her that. I know that I have to just keep it within me. Is hard to leave her alone and just give her space. When we do talk, I am not suppose to talk about us. I know all that and I heard so many times. It is just so difficult for me. Can anyone tell me any method to help me. I been reading alot comments and articles on this forum, it had been helpful. Especially the one about "absense can really help relationship" I know that now is that if she ever comes back to me, which I really believe in my heart that she will. She will have to come back by herself and not me or anyone else to influence her decision. I hope everyone can help me on this and it would be much appreciated. Thank you everyone. I know that everyone in this forum had their sad stories and hopefully we will be able to help each other get through everything that we encounter within our story. Thanks, jl301

Hey natash24, It really sounds like that this not really balance relationship. I don't know what is meaning of your first breakup. I guess you do love him a lot or you confuse about your feelings about him. By the way you are saying that he just keeping you around so he could just have somebody by his side. I know that you are thinking up so many scernarios in your head that while is he acting this way. I say sit him down and actually talk to him and tell him how you feel about him and this relationship. Bottomline, I believe is that I don't think he being fair to you. If you really want this relationship then make every effort to make it work then. I know that is going to be hard work and that you might get hurt by him again. I believe that if you really want something, then you should go after it. I think is a good idea for you to take it break from him and to think about it what you want out of this relationship. I don't think you want to go back into that unhealthy relations. This is just my view of yet. I hope it helps. remember you are not the only one other there. There are many of us on this forum and that everyone has a story of their own. Hopefully it will get better for you, keep us posted. jl301

Hey there, I just want to fill in how I feel about the situation. I'm sorry that you have lost two closet member of your family. Let me ask you do you geniunely love him. I know is hard to ask yourself question like that and that in way it sounds really dumb. I think that you should feel really bless to have someone that cares and love you so much. Although I really don't know your situation really well. True love means hard sacrifices, if it means that someone has to make a move towards the other to save this relationship then by all means do it. I know that is easier said then done with so much on your mind right now. If one of you are not willing to make that ultimate sacrfice to save this relationship. I would have to tell you is really hard for him to do this because I kind understand how he is going through. He loves you so much and that it hurts him to see this relationship going to an end. People say that if you really loves someone, the ultimate sacrifice is to let them go (YET EASIER SAID THEN DONE). I hope that things can get better for you. Just remember that you are not alone, there are so many of us out there. Everyone of us has an sad story. Good Luck! jl301

Let me ask you this. Do you honestly do love her. In our lives, we all want to be with someone that makes us feel special and then later on you lost that feeling for that person. You believe that she is the love of your life and that truly love her then do it. I know that you in the process you might get hurt really bad. But if you don't try, you won't know. Ask yourself this is it worth? You can weight the good and bad for yourself because only you would know how you feel about her. In my situation, I have really mess up and that hurt her really bad because I was not being honest with her. I lost her trust. I truly believe in my heart that I want to be with her for the rest of my live. So I am going to go for it all and that I will show her my love with action and patience. I will give her space. I know is going to be hard, but who said love is going to be easy. I hope I gave some insight about ur problem. jl301

First off, thanks for responding to my problems, STILLTHERE. I really appreciated. I'm sorry that your attempt to get ur girl back wasn't successful. I understand where you come from you say that when you are in love. You don't see anything else in sight and that you just want to focus in loving that person and in my case. Which is getting them back in my life. Thank you for your warning. I really believe that she is not going to date anyone else. How do I know for sure, well I really can't tell you. I have to say is that I know her well and she knows that. She is going through this period that she just need some time and space from all guys. I know that if she were going to date somebody else. She would tell me. I know that if she does start dating someone else, I will be really hurt and heartbroken. But that won't stop me from still wanting her back. You guys might think I am fool by saying this, but when you truly love someone and you love them for the rest of your lives. I am not saying that if she really moves on with her life and get settle down with someone. I understand that no one waits forever for their love one to come back, I understand that. I don't know how to tell you guys my feeling for her are so strong. She makes me feel so at peace with myself. I know that my life doesn't depend on her to operate and to move. But I will be lying to myself, if I say I don't want her in my life. I know that I sound like alot of guys out there. They sound so sincere about getting their ex back in their lives. However, that sincerity dies with time. I just really believe in my heart that we will get back together. She still checks up on me once week. I told everyone that I will give her time and space. But still make my presense felt in a different way. I know and she knows about how I feel about her. I don't need to tell her everytime I see her. Like I said talk is really easy, but putting your words into action will take patience and effort on my part. Sorry, about going on and on with my life. I want to thank everyone for reading all of my story. Sincerely, jl301

First off, I like to thank everyone that have reply to my question. I just want to clarified something for you guys. I am not changing myself for her. It may seem like it. This breakup and all the events that happen before and after made me realize that I really need to get hold of my life. I need to stop day dreaming about things in life and actually go do them. I am trying to pay off all my credit card debits and I doing pretty well. I believe I am doing pretty well and that I still got long way to go and making myself a better person. I kind got offended by what swingfox had to say, but he was trying to be honest in his own ways. I thank him for his advice. I really believe that people can change if they really want to commit to it. I know that almost all the people say that they are going to change, never make it or just make it attempt to do it. I know that I can say whatever I can about me going to change my life around. Talking is easy and however turn it to action and actually do it is very hard. I know that people out there might think I am just Bull s*** about changing myself around. I am really commited to myself. I love this girl with all my heart and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know that may sound like bunch of BS. But I really mean it and that only I know for sure what I am going to do with my life. I hope everyone out there would give me the support. I really care about this girl and that I am committing to getting her back. I know you guys out there would say that I am just sore loser thinking that he will get his girl back. I really feel in my heart that we will be back together. I know that I have to give her time and be patient with her. I know that it has already been five months, since we broke up. I know that I hurt her really bad and that it will take time to heal that wound. I hope you guys believe in my hope in getting her back and that I appreciate each and everyone's comments. To answer one of the guys question, I am sure that she is not seeing anyone else because I know that she would tell me and plus she not ready to accept anyone else. Plus her little sister is trying to help me get her back. I know that she is honest with me and that if she decides to date someone else she would tell me. I am being honest with all my comments and i hope everyone would comment more on my subject. Thanks, JL301

Hi everybody, I need everyone's help again. I am really glad that I found this forum and be able to share my story with everyone. I want to thank everyone that I have read or reply to my story, thank you. I want to update everyone about my situation. To those people that are reading this and have no idea what I am talking. Please go the subject "trying to get the love of my life back" by jl301 and read the first part of my story. I have read so many people story's and everyone has preached about being patient. However, it is so easy to say and so hard to do for me at least. It has been five months that since me and my ex broke up. Last Friday, we almost went our separate ways because I was pushing her so hard. Everytime we talk on the phone, I would always talk about when is she going to forgive me. I really can't help it guys not to talk about that because is on my mind 24-7. I am really trying to be patient with her and give her space. It just feels like that is lost cause for me. I have really trying to change my life around and that it is so depressing to me because I feel that it has been five months and she must see alittle changes within me. However that is not the case, it just really sad to me. I know that people don't change overnight and that it takes time for people to change. It takes more time for those people willing to accept to take you back and see the changes in you. I understand all that concept that it will just take time. But I just don't know if I could do it. I love her with every ounce of body and that I will wait because I really feel that we are meant to be with one another. Some people might think I am crazy. But I really feel that though in my heart. We patch things up a little bit on Friday and that she says that she will not let go, but I have not talk about getting together with her everytime we talk to one another on the phone because she said that she is just being pushed to hard by me. I told her that I will go by her pace and that I will tried really hard not to pressure her. However, I told her that if I don't say anything about it doesn't mean that I don't care. I told her she knows what I want and that she says she understands. I am so afraid to lose her. Please give me advice everyone. I want to give her space and at same time I don't want her to feel that I have lost interest or have her lost interest in us getting back together. Any response or advice would be great, thanks to everyone again. Sincerely, jl301

First I like to thank all those who are reading my story and that I do hope that everyone comment and give me their opinion of what they think about, I would really appreciated. I have dated this girl for about almost two years. We were really happy together and that we thought about marriage and that I knew that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. However, I was hiding things from her. Bascially I wasn't being honest with her front to get go. I lied to her that my parents were rich and that we were well off and that we have all these wonderful things. I bascially created fantasy world that I have created. I guess I said all those things because I guess I have really low-self esteem about myself and I thought by saying things like that it may be feel good inside because that I have impressed someway. I thought she would like me more, if I said all those things. But is not true at all, she loves me no matter what. It kill her when she discover the truth about me. She was so hurt and she said that our two year relationship that was bascially a lie. I don't mean it at all, I really do love her and that I would never hurt her. But with all the lies I said. I have hurt her so deep. We have broken up for about 5 months now and it has been longest five months of my life. I can't stop thinking about her and us. I have changed myself and that really I want to be focus about my life and not day dream about the things, but actually and go work for them. I miss her so much and that I want her back so bad. I have beg, cried, and everything that you can't think of. When someone is desperated to get their love one back. It really doesn't work. However, there is something else too. She is applying to go dental school for this coming fall. She bascially deciding whether she wants stay here at home or go off to Boston for school. I am so afraid that she will go. But in my heart I believe that she will stay. We been talking once every two or three weeks. The last time we talk, she says that she really want to give us an chance, but she is just really afraid that she wll get hurt again. She says she wants to feel natural and not her being pushed into it. I know I have begged and cried to much about asking her to come back. But I have laid off and just let her have some space. But it is really difficult because I miss her so much and plus Valentine day is coming also. What does everyone think? Do I have an chance to get her back. I want to be honest is that I truly love this girl. She made me feel so great inside and that I am so comfortable around her. I told her that I can't change what I have done in the past, but I sure can do something about the future. I just want an chance to prove it. " JUST ONE MORE CHANCE"

Well my best advice to you is that. You have something here and make sure you don't push her away. She admit that with work and school, she doesn't have the enough time spend with you as much she wants. That means that she cares and is not she doesn't want to spend time with you. She just have alot that to go through right now and that if you play your cards right you will get her back with more respect. She will realize that you understand that what she is going through and I am pretty sure that you told her much you like her and want to spend time with her. She realize that you actually understand. I know is painful and not being with the person that you care so much about. I know that feeling just go look at my situation at "getting the love of my life back" My post is under my name JL301. I hope you will also give input about situation it would be really great. Hang in there, Sincerely, Jl301

Hello Everyone, I am new to this forum and I am really desperate and need some help. Please give me some good insight and advice about my situation. I would really apprecaite and I want to go ahead thank everyone who is willing to giving me some advice, thanks. I am have dating this girl for about almost two years. We broke up about four and half months. I have been so miserable without her. The reason that we broke is that I have been lying to her during our whole relationship. I want to tell you guys that I sincerely and geniunely love her and that I don't would never want to harm her. Why would I lie to her if I sincerely love her. Through out my life, I have always been searching to be accpeted and loved because I feel that I am never always in the cool crowd and being truly loved by friends and lovers. I lied to my ex about how well-off my family was, and that how I am so smart and getting accept to all these great medical schools. I also ran into problem of running my creidit cards up for gambling at the casino's. So she felt that the two years relationship has been a lie. I don't really blame her, but I don't mean to do all those things because I thought by telling her all that stuff it would impress her to like me more. I am so sorry for all the things that I have done to her. I am really changing my life around now, I realize that I need to focus on the what reality is right now that is facing me in the face and stop living in that dream world which I thought that my parents have all this money. I know people out there is not going to believe that "an liar" could change. But I really did change because not just for her, but for myself and my future. I really truly love her and she even said that she know that I treat her well, but the two years have been an lie. I like I told her I can't change the past but I could sure do something about the future. I love her with all my heart and that I want an second chance to prove to myself and her that I am able to love and honest with her. To be able to take care of her for the rest of life. The thing is that she is applying dental school all around the east coast for this coming fall semester, she already have interviews at Boston already. I am really afraid that she going to leave and that I won't be able to have an chance to prove myself to her. She did apply to an school here locally, I really hope she stays here. I was wondering if anyone could give me honest advice of what they think about my situation. Do I even have chance to get her back. What should I do ? Everyone keep tell me that give her time and be patient. I understand but it is really difficult and I am also worried that with time , feeling go away. Please help me, I willing to hear any time of advice, Sincerely, JL