Caine
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Everything posted by Caine
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Well I did kiss her, if you can call it that, I kinda shook her hand and leaned over and kissed her cheek, I then said "Thanks for a great night and i'll text ya tomorrow" I text her the next day at 1pm, didn't want to make her wait too long and didn't want to text her too soon and seem to keen. lol. Women are tough creatures to figure out, maybe she just didn't connect with me and felt to embaresed to tell me ? ? ? ?
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Well I knid of figured after our date that she would want to know how it went for me and if I wanted to see her again. Maybe I should of just said something like - 'I had a great time last night, I would like to see you again'??? But we don't talk anymore anyway, I spoke to my mum about it and she said it sounds like she was just using you for a night out.
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Hi Lily, Your doing the right thing making a man wait, A lot of people asked me before I went on my date, are you going to sleep with her? and I said 'no way' if she offers it to me, I don't want to know her, I think it's better for a woman to make a man wait, I would respect a woman a lot more if she made me wait as she obviously has respect for herself too. You sound similar to me in the fact that your not desperately seeking someone, it would be great if they came along, but oherwise your just taking your time, and when they do come along, you want to take it step by step and see how it goes. I think you're doing it the right way, and if a man doesn't want to wait until you're ready, then he's not the one.
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I have just left it now, we havent spoke/text for two days, today will be the third day. If she doesn't get in contact then so be it, it's her loss, I would have treated her really well too.
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Many thanks for your comments, I have stopped texting her, I figure if she wants me then she'll text me, and then I'll text her back. If she didn't feel 'the spark' I would really really just prefer it if she was honest, rather than go through this. Because she wanted to stay and have a cigarette at the end of the night with me, when she could of walked off to her car, I thought she liked me due to that. Who knows what she's doing?
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It sounds to me like this girl won't settle down with one person for a long time, she can't commit to a relationship at all, and at the end of the day, she'll be the one hurting. I 've just started the internet dating thing, and the biggest problem is, you don't really know the person until your actually meeting them, so you can't tell the way they act, or any of their manerisms, bodylanguage etc. I'm beginning to think it's better to meet people in person.
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If you ask her to share a place with you, she may see it as moving to fast or that you're just offering her help, depends on what type of girl she is. I don't think it would good if you're possibly just about to start a relationship to be living together, I think it would be too soon and I think you'd get bored of each other because you haven't had anytime to yourselves during the early stages, it may be great at first during the honey period because you'll want to with each other all the time, but then what after that, when it's all settled down? You could bring it up to her as a joke. If you're discussing getting a place and she says she needs to get a place, say she moves in with you as a joke and gauge her reaction from that. If she does move in, you never know it might be great all the time, nobody can really say how it's gonna go.
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Hi all, could do with your oppinion on this one. I'm 29 and after a break up I decided to give online dating a try, one woman I was chatting to via Email wanted to meet up, we exchanged mobile numbers and for a week leading up to our date we text each other every day and even flirted a bit too, it was really good, we got on well. We met up and had our date and we had a good time together, lots of fun. I text her the next day, told her 'I liked her' and asked 'if she wanted a second date somewhen' and she said 'yes' but since we met she seems to have gone really cold, she hardly texts, she's different now, no flirting, hardly any conversation from her at all, I thought after a few days mybe she didn't really want a second date, so I asked her again 'You sure you want a second date cos you seem distant?' and she said 'Of course I would love a second date, just been busy lately' which would mean she's busy constantly because it's hard to get into a coversation with her. I did think maybe she just didn't feel the spark, maybe she's trying to let me down gently. I know our date went well together, and at the end of the night we walked outside and I said 'Well I guess it's time to go home then' at which point she suggested we stand there and have a cigarette before we go, so I know she wasn't in a hugh hurry to get away from me, but she's just so different now since we met. I figured once we met and knew we liked each other, then the texting would be a lot more frequent. Is she taking it slowly? does she not really want to know? Girls what do you make of all this?
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yeah you're probably right guys, thanks for the advice.
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Well believe it or not, i'm 29, lol. I recently moved back home after a break up, there's probably nothing in it, it just makes me uncomfortable being touched by her. For instance if we're sitting on the sofa, and she goes to get up, well you put tour hands down on the sofa or something to push yourself up, sometimes she might slap her hand down on my leg and push herself up. it's probably just playfull behaviour, but I just don't want her to touch me.
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This is weird but thought I needed to hear it from another angle. The other day I was sitting on the sofa, the dog was next to me and my mum was then next to him. She leant over to hug the dog (in my direction) and just rested her arm on my leg, then she sat up, then leaned over to cuddle the dog again, and had her arm resting on my nuts, So I moved and had had a winge at her because I felt uncomfortable. Smy mum said my sister didn't really like phisical contact with her and neither did I and it was weird. I said I don't know why I was like that, but it's true. I don't like my mum touching me and neither does my sister. We had pleny of love and affection from her when we were kids and it was fine, but now she just seems too touchy for my sister and I. I had a thought, and matbe this is me just taking things too far, but I thought what if she touched us when we were kids but we don't remember, but now we're older it's like we don't like her near us. I know this may seem way out there and i'm probably just being paranoid, but can't understand why I don't like her touching me, even if it's her feet slipping down the sofa a little and coming into contact with my leg or feet.
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That's exactly how I feel about it to, for my friends sake, it would hurt his feelings loads if I went to his ex's party and hung out with her. I bought this up because someone told me I was wrong and my friend should just deal with it.
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Hi all (again) What's the situation (in your oppinion) when two people break up, we all used to hang out in one group, and now two of the group have split up, it's become akward. the boys in the group have always had like a pact where we don't really go out of our way to chat to each other's ex's, only if we bump into them, but recent events have led me to believe this is wrong. what's the general rule? can we/ shoul we speak to mates ex's if it hurts our mates feelings to do so? can you date a friends ex? what about all the lads in the group (except the dumped one) going to his ex's B/day party, should we go if it upsets our mate? Please help.
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Thanks guys, I know your right, I see it from her angle now, obviously I wouldn't of turned down the sex and she knew that, but probably didn't want it. If she had of been honest instead of just saying 'I don't want you to' it would of been better for me, but she is just shy. Many thanks
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Hi guys, I'm pretty sure you'll be against me on this one but I just want to get a better understanding. Last night I was lying in bed, my girlfriend just got undressed, while she was naked I commented on how beautiful her body was, when she climbed into bed I askd if I could have a quick feel (down below) I didn't necassarily want sex, but she said no, she didn't want me to touch it, I didn't want to grope her or anything, just a feel, I don't get it, she just said she didn't want me to, which I though was strange, we've been together almost 5 years, and I guess for a man, I see it as a way of rejection. We had had a nice evening cuddled up on the sofa, she just ruined it at the end. any advice will be much appreciated, thanks Steve
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heh heh Thanks guys, sounds about right lol
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Hi I was just wondering what you make of my partners body language, Here's the scene, just after an argument, when we're in the 'talking stage' and sorting out, I turn to face her on the sofa and she still sits straight and looks ahead and doesn't even look at me, same happened last night in bed, I turned to face her and she stayed lying on her back fiddling with something and not even looking at me, what is her body language saying? is just that she's still a little annoyed about the argument? Many thanks in advance for any advice.
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Hi there, sorry to hear about your situation. First off, you haven't cut because you don't want to hurt your friends, and for that a big WELL DONE, that already shows your making the effort and you consider others feelings, which is great considering your depressed. You may need to go on anti-depressants, at least if you take them they may help you out and you would be able to think more clearly in solving the problems in your life, as your probably all mixed up and confused right now. I can't comment on the problems in your life as I don't know the what the problems are, but here's something you can try, 1) write down what the problem is. 2) Write down all of the possible soloutions. 3) Write down all of the possible outcomes to those soloutions. 4) Except the outcome you have chosen, it is then easier to deal with the problem as you have already excepted the outcome. Also say to yourself, what's the worst that will happen in that outcome? Woll I die? Will I go to prison? try not to worry and keep yourself busy, the mind has little time to worry when it's busy. And yes 'hand in there' everything will work out for you, everything sorts itself out in the end, unfortunately it does take time, just be patient, tell yourself not to worry, and take one day at a time.
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Ok so we know she might have a little jelousy problem, but if she called the girl a tart (the one with the horses) it was probably because she was jelous if the girl had a nice body. Maybe she needs a lot more reasurance, tell her regularly how much you feel for her, how beautiful she is etc, she does need to hear it and it will help your relationship out immensly because she'll feel really assured that she's the one for you.
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I do things like txt my g/friend and think it's been such and such amount of time since she replied, try not to worry about the length of time, they could be having a really busy day, you just don't know. Always ask yourself what's the worst that can happen? am I going to die from this? will I end up in prison? No, the worst is a little embarrasment, and IF that happens, you just gotta tell yourself 'so what' and know that, that person wasn't worth it, you'll learn from all there experiences and be much more equipped to deal with them next time.
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Well on one had you could say if she wanted this guy, she would of started dating him instead of you, but she chose you so she only see's this guy as a friend. It is worrying that he declared his love for her to you, does she know? how does she feel about that? If she see's him as a friend but he's crazy for her then it would be hard for to concentrate on her friendship with him, by the sound of it she may not be able to give him up as they do a lot together and that would mean she goes alone, which she probably doesn't want. Ask yourself is it worth it? with her mum getting involed it's going to be a really tough life you lead together and with this guy hanging aroung it will put a constant pressure on your relationship, is the situation going to get any better?
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2.5 years, broken up for 2 months, need advice please
Caine replied to D1886's topic in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
First off well done for working out and eating healthy etc, you've kept yourself busy and that's good. Your not wrong for saying you want a relationship with her or no contact at all, I also find it easier to sether all ties from an ex. If she's been going out having her fun, has she got it all out her system? she may go back with you and then regret it and still play the field. So in that respect you could leave her alone and get on with your life. Otherwise if you want her back, the best way is to let her make the moves, let her call you, keep your distance a little and don't get too close too quickly and that will keep her chasing you. You may need to work on your insecurity issues, which is going to be really tough considering what you went through together already, your just gonna worry that she'll leave again or cheat, in that respect it might be best to leave her be. -
I cannot read your previous posts as the page comes up with an error. so from what you've written here I would suggest being friends for now and seeing where that leads, maybe just friends is good, it sounds as though you would both like that. Hope this helps a bit, considering I don't know the full history about it all.
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Try to get back on a 'normal' friendship with her and see how things go, maybe she did want you but then when it became a reality to her it scared her a little. She knows you like her now so you've made your move, don't wait around for her, if she wants you she'll let you know. And I agree chances are whoever you get with now won't be for life, just get out there and have fun while your young.
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i'm going through a really similar thing right now, e.g partner says she's happy and not going to leave but I don't believe her??? It is all to do with self esteem but also I had a councelling session the other day and was adviced that because my mum was in and out of hospital when I was a kid, that has lead me to believe women will keep leaving me, could your problem be related to something from your childhood? If you have just had a child you might be suffering from post natel depression, my sister did and was going through something similar to you. Try to remember, if this guy is so so great, HE's WITH YOU, nobody else which must make you a great person, he probably expected you to put on a little weight and doesn't mind, I know a lot of bloke that don't a woman that's really slim to sleep with anyway, yeah they may look good but to have sex with them isn't as great, men like to have something to cuddle believe me, Try to build your self esteem by believing in yourself. try writing down these questions and then the answers, once you have the answers, you can stop worrying and start living. 1) what is the problem? 2) What's the worst possible outcome? 3) accept that outcome, and once you truly accept it, just start living and stop worrying. Believe in yourself and be strong, remember keep telling yourself 'Don't worry'