D1886
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Posts
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I'm with you kate, I'm 20 and hurt in the same way you are. My ex is an ex girlfriend, sleeping with others, it hurts so bad, anyways, I'm with ya, as unhelpful as I know it is. I love ya, lol.
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Keep with the antidepressants and therapy. I'm with you about being depressed after a breakup, I'm starting the antidepressants today too.
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Great post, I'm still sad, but your post was a good read
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Oh wow, this hurts......now when I hear him, I think, that's what she's thinking. Like, my eyes are finally open again, and, I see it all in a different light, that's how I used to feel, when I was trying to completely get over it. But now that she's completely over, all his words sound like they're coming from her instead of me. It's so horrible, I hate what I've done with myself, f.....this. I can't believe this, I can't believe this.
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A coicidence, about a week or two before we broke up, I was at her house in late june and she was saying how nick lachey was dumb for talking about his break up and how her dad would think how dumb he was. Well it was different words, but anyways, I kinda felt sorry for the guy. Anyways, that is the only cd I listen to now (like all the time) and it used to help and still does a little, but I just wanted to say cause I'm listening to it all the time now, like I did two months ago, but now it doesn't have as much as an impact, but still does help. K, I better get some sleep, a lot of work for tomorrow. I can't help but think what the f...... she's doing right now, it kills me, I'm almost positive she's found someone, it hurts so much.
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I'm sooooo depressed and sooooo incredibly sad, I felt this way two months ago, then we dated again, but a week ago she said it was over for good. I can't take this......I guess I can cause I went through it, but I'm crying and not doing good, I'm so depressed
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Ok, here's the craziest part about the whole thing..... When I met her I was looking to get some. Yeah, I am being honest. I was a senior in High school and haven't hooked up with a girl. So the first month her and I were talking/going out, I really acted like I was more than what was me before we went out. About 9 months to a year into the relationship I recognized that I was reverting back to who I was before her and there was nothing I could do to help it. I thought to myself about two years into the relationship, if she knew who I was, being antisocial and pathetic, she would not be with me. Well three to four months later I couldn't hide it and she dumped me. Now I find myself back at square one. I am desperately needy for a girl. Just like I was with her, but I don't let myself wait long enough for any girls. I feel like if I want her, I will let her know it, and I know this isn't how works, as mad and dumb as I think it is. I keep trying to talk to girls more than want, send texts, etc. I know this isn't attracted, but I don't have the patience, because I feel like I show'd a lot of false, secretive, non-real patience with the first ex. Yeah, my mom left us when we were twelve to go do whatever it is she does, we still don't talk, and I'm twenty now. And I left home from my dad, when I was sixteen to move in with my grandparents, who have been supportive from day one. So I know it has to do with abandonmnet, but I don't want to act like something I'm not. I already did that once and don't have the patience to try it again. Ha, I know it can't doesn't exist and I have to do it, but I don't want to after so much me and the ex had, but she doesn't care about that anymore, so I'm stuck. I'm so sad and hurt.
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Guilty here myself, I'm tempted to call all the time
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I'm with you. I can't say anything to help, but I'm with ya
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sorry, that's "you don't know what you have until it's gone."
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i just don't know what to do now. You don't what you till it's gone, and I feel so horrible about how I treated her, first off. And I feel twice as bad now that she's gone and I'm in such a horrible situation with the holidays right now. This time 3 years ago was when we first started going out.
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I just had to get out some more feelings. I feel guilty for how I handled this first relationship of mine. We were together the last six months in high school before I left for college. I was planning on breaking up with her at that point, but after a couple weeks at college I decided I didn't want to lose her. About four months of long distance I could tell those same feelings weren't there like before. I decided I would hang in there with her, but not in the right way. I began to become two different people, her boyfriend when I went home, and looking for someone else when I went to school, still talking to her though everyday. This is very selfish, I know, but I lost all sight of what a relationship should be and honesty is the first thing in a healthy relationship. This went on for my first two years of college and really really really messed with my subconscious. I became very antisocial and as time went on I couldn't talk to a girl as much as I wanted to, even though I was still in the relationship with my girlfriend. I treated her horribly, getting in stupid fights, and was really depressed. I didn't want her to have anyone else, and that's the truth. I didn't want anyone else touching her, because we were both our first sexual partner, and I didn't want people saying, oh so and so had sex with your ex girlfriend. I couldn't face that, very cowardly considering what I was doing. I never had sex with another girl, but kissed a few, and was always looking as if my girlfriend didn't exist. It really messed with my head. Well, karma has come around. I was so possessive about her and treated her so bad that at the beginning of this summer she broke it off with me, right before we were heading to the same college. Now we're in the same city and she wants nothing to do with me. She is having sex with other people now, like I didn't want all along. I just wrote this to get it off my mind, I haven't been this up front about it to anyone. I read all this posts about how good everyone has been to their ex and it makes me feel guilty because though she broke up with me, it was me that broke it up with how I treated her for so long so it feels like I have the pain of doing that for so long and now the pain of the breakup and her being gone.
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I want to die, I hate this
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Also, thanks to the others that responded. The more responses helps.
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I do have a big case of sexual jealousy, but that is not everything. She is such an honest, chill, no stress, relaxed, caring person who supported me so much, which I did not return for a like the last year or so of the relationship, really took her for granted. But I never felt more interested in her boobs at all, but now it really bugs me that others are going to have her sexually. She was my first and only sexual partner, and I was her first too. That, I think, is why. Thank you for responding to that part, it really does bother me because I am sexual jealous really bad, it kills me to think that is going to happen. Anyone else with advice on this would help too.