cacain119

You KNOW when you orgasm. Normally, women experience a clitoral orgasm... For lack of better way of explaining, it feels "tingly" on the little nub in front of your hole.. like a sleepy foot almost, waking up (blood rushing.. same sensation). Your body will most likely get reallly hot (possibly sweaty) for a split second and you'll experience contractions inside the hole. (The whole point is that when you're having sex, it helps the semen get up there to impregnate you.) It's normal.. the white stuff -- it's just vaginal secretions used for lubrication. If he's not rubbing your clit though, you probably won't orgasm (I doubt he's hitting your G if his fingering you.)

oh wow... well, I wish you both the BEST of luck!

wheres he from?

I second haven, that's the best advice in my opinion, for this situation but I wish you guys the best. I really could not have said it better.

Our relationship is really a mess on so many different levels, but for some reason, I feel I must take responsibility for most of them. For the first time for a long while, I've taken a step back to examine ME, individually. I stive so much to please everyone. I try to please my father with my degree, with grades, and I have to re-convince myself that it is not because of him, but because of my passions that I chose to further my studies. When it comes to my relationship with "Michael" (not his real name), it is as if I adopted his hobbies (or tried to) and left mine somehwere else. I love "Michael" so much -- he's a hard worker, and funny and loving and just all around a great and nice guy, but where have *I* been lately? So yesterday, I took my first step at fixing that -- I went golfing. Yes, I went by myself, and I had a blast! I played the best I've played in a while, probably for the sole fact that I just plain didn't care. I don't know what else i should doffor myself (I don't want this to be a dying trend!) but at the same time, I felt somewhat empty for being selfish. Somewhat guilty and I don't know if this is just a by-product of ignoring myself for so long that by the time I wanted to do something for ME it just seemed self-indulgent? It just seems to be an issue, that although I've tried talking it over with him, "Michael" doesn't care too much about anymore -- these conversations always seems to end in "eventually, you just need to get over it." (a response i don't think I can take too much anymore, either). Long story short, I feel that in a time that's meant to FOLLOW "finding yourself" -- in a time I should really be EXPANDING upon what I'd already found -- I'm more lost than ever. That being said, I feel as though lately I've been using "Michael" and our relationship to reaffirm *me* -- a BIG relationship no-no, I realize. I just don't know how to step back without hurting him or our relationship. I don't feel it's a "bad" or "unhealthy" thing, our relationship. I just feel as though there's some magical button (or more realistically, a course of actions I should be able to take) to make me happy and fulfilled again. "Michael" is so caught up in things that matter to him, I just wish I could be equally caught up in something constructive that mattters to me. It just seems that these feelings have taken hold on every facet of our realtionship. I don't feel *physically attractive* anymore, I don't feel sexually *wanted* (I was denied twice tonight, I'm sure that doesn't help) an dI most deifnately don't know a way of bringing these things to his attention without making him feel absolutely horrible. Since his diet (the South Beach boy, I've posted about it.) began about 2 weeks ago, he's just been different. Not as upbeat, fun, joking, etc as he once was. He seems exactly the opposite in fact -- he seems unhappy, sad, and unfulfilled. I try to love him, encourage and help him, but somehow, his moods are contagious. I miss HIM and I miss ME... Please, help me.

Well, we've been together so long.. about 4 years.. And we use to both be VERY artsy... Use to love watching movies, and listening to music, etc... and we still do, I'm just getting burnt out. He's so busy at work, it seems i hardly see him, I'm so busy in my degree most of the time, so I don't worry about it... but he makes me laugh, and makes me smile, and loves me so deeply, and is amazingly faithful, and we've gone over distance for a year and a half (at the beginning of our relationship) from 4 hours to 26 hours when he was in FL.. He's just so tired all the time, and I'm so wired all the time.. that's where our biggest difference is.

I love walks, he hates them We use to LOVE coffee.. but he gave caffeine up. We live in the sticks, so no trains. We go to concerts every once in awhile, but I'm the music freak, he's not. But he did LOVE BB King! We only go to dollar theatre movies... The bars? Again, we live in the sticks... only one is cool.. I enjoy poker, but he doesn't, I enjoy pool, but he doesn't.. etc...

well, that's a BIG part of the problem, you really hit it on the head. We've been SO busy and since we've been in college, I lost a lot of my hobbies because I'm an engineer major, enough said. Now that we're spending more time working in between semesters, he keeps up his hobbies, and tries getting me involved, but he LOVES webdesign, and that just seems to bore me (I tried it and it just didn't work for me). But he works for a webdesign firm, so it's just like he brings work home...

money is a little tight, but more than anything, we're both VERY fair skinned, so I don't think he'd enjoy the water park thing.. we have a pool outside our apt and he doesn't even like swimming in there when the sun's gone down.. and we've gone out a LOT lately bc people were taking us out for his bday.. so we went out to eat like 4 days in a row, but it wasn't *us* centered...

we don't have a really good camera =/ I almost got him one for his birthday, but I got him something really sappy instead We just have a little 2.0 MP

Well, he's sooo tired all the time, so I've tried to respect that, but it makes me so stir crazy sometimes. I love making him dinner and watching movies, and i have no problem doing that later on, but tonight/tomorrow night, we just need a shake up! ..but thank you SO much for your input, I really appreciate it.

I think that's a really good and mature decision. I'm proud of you! "Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same" (it's a silly song lyric.. lol) I'm sorry it brings up so many memories with your ex, but maybe this will help the healing process.. And I'm sure you'll find a great home!

We're getting too hum-drum -- I make him dinner, we rent a movie, and call it good. ...And I was wondering what we could do that would be good quality fun for us and wouldn't be too expensive. So far I've thought of bowling, putt-putt, and going to the park (but I don't know what we'd do at the park.. lol) Is there a way I could have you list your 5 favorite things to do with your partner? I would be ever so grateful and maybe it can have me come up with some new ideas! Thanks!

Which is great, I want to encourage him! He's not *fat* -- but just has trouble areas, and is doing South Beach -- I'm really proud of him... But now his birthday is coming up and as some of you are familiar, South Beach during the first phase is pretty darn limited! I want to take him out to dinner, etc (I don't want him to have to pay on his own birthday!) but I don't know where to take him because of it. I want to make a cake, but can't because it's against his list of foods he can eat... What should I do??? I really want to make his day special. =/

Yeh no joke! And that cute V that goes down to the you-know-what....

if the guy is fit and clean, I don't have a problem watching a naked man walk around... I love it when mine does it!

Let me first say that I am VERY sorry, that is horrible news, and I wish you the best while coping... I don't know that there are really statistics on this sort of thing -- the best you can do is care for your body in the way the doctor has instructed you to do... And just do your best to not lift things that are too heavy, etc -- those basic things. But I don't believe all things are within our control, somethings just happen like that, and for that I'm truly sorry. Please take good care of yourself!

You need to be upfront with her, because divorces and breakups (as you know already, I don't really need to tell you this) can be VERY sticky.. There are a lot of head games, etc. You need to say *look, this is how I still feel, what are your reasons of wanting me in hawaii* -- but you have to be matter-of-fact, cut and dry, because she needs to know how you feel, you need to know how she feels, and if it isn't a condusive environment for a relationship, the NC thing might be best. You probably just need to get over each other. But there really is no need for head games... You may want to meet with her *the next time you do* and just have a sit-down talk about these things. She can't have you uproot YOUR life and then not do anything. She can't have the pie and eat it too.

Okay, my boyfriend use to do this. ONE time he got suspicious about me *acting different* and we trusted each other with our email, user names, passwords, etc... ..And he found out I was cheating through my email. This was a few years ago, since I've been COMPLETELY and utterly faithful... So this past September or October, he got in my email again and read some emails from my guy friends (who are from Chile, don't know much english, don't say things "politically correct", etc) and completely misinterpretted them even though I've been nothing but truthful, honest, etc.. And that really hurt me. To me, that is equivalent to cheating because staying an individual is VERY important (to me at least) in a relationship -- you should be able to pick your friends, make your own decisions, etc. He was not always upfront with me when he checked my emails -- eventually, I just changed EVERY password and username... I don't trust him in that way anymore... I don't think those things should ever be trusted with another person if you like to keep somethings *heaven forbid* personal. But you know you're in the wrong.

If you ask a more pointed question... It may be easier to receive advice on this issue.

Awesome, thanks hoss... I tried talking to him about it the other night, he just seemed to be really passive like he's been. I'm off completely now, so it's no biggie now, it's just annoying when he has sudden changes in mood like that...

...And given.. they are on sensitive areas. One, I am taking the allergy medicine Zyrtec. Does anyone know how that affects "the pill"? Does it make it weaker, should I be using more protection, etc.. We pull out, but I know you can still get prego from pre-ejaculation and that's why I'm a bit concerned. Secondly, I am on the pill so I'm use to "regular" cycles that start wednesday and end by or on saturday.. it is now monday and I'm still bleeding.. Is this normal? Thirdly, my man use to be GREAT about having sex anytime, any time of the month, etc.. But the past 3mo or so he has not been wanting to do it at the tail end of "that time", like he usually is... That makes me feel like crap about myself and the fact it might be grossing him out, etc.. But he just kind of plays it off, as if not to hurt my feelings.. I don't really know how to confront him about the subject.. why would he do it for the last 3 years and now all of the sudden not want to...?

part of me wants to say *isn't that his business?* -- why do you need to know right now?

wait til you see every friend of yours engaged, married, or with kids.. it only gets worse.

I wouldn't go for it.. it never ends well and it hurts a really good friendship. my two cents!