Kimmikazi

Funny you say that!! I started a scrap book about a month ago, and since I've gotten home I've been going back and forth to it! Although, it mayyy take longer than another week, I'm sure! It sure does work well with time though! I like that idea a lot though! A LOT. I'm going to do that tomorrow...start looking for something sentimental!!

You guys are right...and I should've known he was right as well. He's an amazing guy and I couldn't want a single thing more. I just wish I could stop myself from getting the way I get...I'm going to push him over the edge if anything. It's so hard to except that you yourself has a problem Trying to fix it is even harder. Thanks for the advice though...I'm seeing it more clearly...I'm kinda...an idiot!

I can't say I relate, but this story really got to me. See, when it's someone liek you, that is realizing there is a problem, and you seek help...I respect that 100%. It's a tough situation because you can only be happy with yourself if YOU want to be. Sleeping with men and doing that to your body in the end, I'm sure...is only setting yourself up for mental pain. In the time being, yeah, this guy is sleeping with you, and so is the next and the next. It may feel as though hearing these words from them is uplifting...but I'm guessing your mother has never really given you positive reinforcement on things? Or has she in the past...before all of this started happening. It doesn't seem like you're doing this for attention nor just because you enjoy sex like a nympho. More so, for comfort, to feel loved and attractive. I'm sure your therapist has tried many tactics with you. Have you tried doing something that you can be proud of. Maybe, working out and shown yourself improvement? If you run...set goals? Register in school and watch grades go up? If you need to, what about set up a hair appt...take some time for YOU and not giving your body for someone elses pleasure. All in all that's what it comes down to.... Try writing postive things down about yourself...things that you dislike about yourself...and once you better the downfall about yourself...crossing that out and doing something awesome for yourself... Try postive reinforement on your own mind and for your own good. Noone elses. If you can't count on the ones you love to help you get through...do it for you. You are a good person, I am sure...everyone is when they dig deep...it's what you pull out of yourself not what what you have to give to another. best of Luck.

I'm about to lose it. >> Here's my "issue".... I have been dating my boyfriend for quite some while...he's an amazing guy and I couldn't ask for more...(or could I?...) I've never considered myself as a person that gave to much until recently. Time and time again my boyfriend is claiming that I'm "selfish","ungreatful", and other sorts of things along those lines. To some extent, he may be right, but I believe that it's because I give way too much, so when I get something in return that isn't up to par, I get let down to the point where I just don't know what to do. I'm a creative mind, always trying to think of others, trying to make things beyond the norm, and trying to rid myself from being just the "average" person. My theory is...anyone can SETTLE for the guy who goes out to bars, spends time with the girlfriend, works, and comes home to bed. I want the guy that goes out with friends, bars when it's the right time, remembers his friends birthdays, good head on the shoulders, a brain, spends not only time with his girlfriend...but showing what she REALLY means to him, and before going to bed...call his girlfriend to say I love you...once in a while tells his mom what she means to him etc. I want the guy that's just not the average Joe basically. Someone that has more to give than just what is basic and necessary. More action; Less words. I found him. He has his downfalls, but he knows what I expect and he tries to be it all, and I DO appreciate it. Now, what's going on at the moment in this mind of mine...is... He's in Mexico with his Mom, Dad and Sister...visiting his family that he has not seen in over 10 years. His Grandparents, Cousins, etc. He also went for his Little Cousin's Catillion(sweet 15). He's gone for 2 weeks...and although I knew I'd miss him...I didn't know how much. Before he left, he was so amazing, he took me to this place I've always been dying to go to, he surprised me with roses at work, and spent all his time with me...he usually does, but he just really showed how much he'd be missing me...he wanted things perfect before he left.....and told me that when he's gone he'll call me as much as possible. So, the day after he got there, he called and left me a v-mail saying he got there safe, said it was so awesome to see his Grandma, and all that stuff. Well, Saturday morning I set off (with a hangover, lol) and got a tattoo on my pelvis...of ... his name. Insane, I know. But, this is the man I plan to marry, already have been trying to have a baby(I'm not able to easily), and be content with for the rest of my life. So, finally he called again that night...he bought 2 calling cards with only 10 min on each...since his cell phone won't work out there. Within those 10 min. a fight evolved. I told him how frustrated I was that I couldn't talk to him when I wanted...and he replied with "you are selfish", and that I don't even care to consider what he had to go through in order to get the cards...it's pretty ghetto where he's staying...and the walk isn't safe at all...etc! So, I understood and said I'm sorry and that I loved him...the card ran out of time. So, the next day he called when I got off work and he said he went to the Catillion Saturday, and something just got to me, and I was like...So how were the women there and basically I just talked crap to him. He was REALLY upset. (I rarely pull the "jealousy" card). SO he told me he'd just let me go and call me later that night. No call...nor the morning or when I got off work. Off to school I dragged myself. I've always been the person to do more than what I should and receive less...or does it just "feel" that way cause others aren't going to the extent I would go to...Although I am this way, once someone takes advantage of that, I've never been one to be a fool. I am strong, and I won't crack. So, he called me today finally-and said he had no more minutes other than the 5 that remained and I was furious that he didn't buy more. If it were ME...I would have STOCKED up on cards... I would have walked 10 miles in the pouring rain...through the ghetto...ANYTHING. That is just the PERSON I am. Naturally, I'll do ABOVE AND BEYOND. I'd want to be able to call at random and say I love you, say I miss you...I know he'd be back at home waiting on a call..or would he? He knows this, and although I didn't think I expected the same, I DO. He asked why I was doing this...why I wanted to keep fighting every time he had a chance to call. I told him it was PROBABLY because he never called me back last night nor this morning OR after work...and how he KNEW I'd be waiting. He told me that he couldn't put up with what I was doing and that maybe I should just move on. MOVE ON?? I gave my life to this guy...tattooed him on my body!, and now he's saying such words?? I almost lost it, and he said..."Kim, do you have something on your mind? Maybe a guilty conscious, maybe you got the tattoo cause you cheated. Then things got heated and it got to a you, I don't believe you" thing.. SO NOT LIKE US!!! I couldn't believe the words he just said. He swore, got angry...that's NOT like him. I asked when I'd talk to him again, and he said he didn't know and that he had to go cause the card was almost out...he then said "I Love You"..and the phone went out. Now, I know that from this long scenario, it may seem that I am selfish, self centered, and not letting him be with family etc. But, from my end-it's not like that...I am so happy he gets to visit his family and go to his roots in Mexico, that's awesome. But, I don't expect that he leaves and forgets what's here for him day in and day out on an every day basis...the girl he goes to sleep with every night...the girl that will give him the WORLD, the girl that he goes to with every bit of advice..the one he is trying to have a LIFE with. I am the one that WOULD NEVER just not call...or only buy 2 damn calling cards, or make it a point to say "appreciate this". It should be a given to call me every day in my eyes. Possibly because it's what I would do naturally. There's been way more than one incident where he would never go to the extent to show me his love that I just do naturally. He's very stubborn, when we fight...it's me doing everything in MY power to pull things together. We DO NOT have a jealous relationship either...so when that situation occurred I couldn't believe it. I think it's in general..the person I am...For instance, before this... I was in a "serious" relationship, I took a vacation with my girlfriends to Cancun..not the best place to be when you're serious...but besides all that...I stocked up on so many calling cards, the cost was outrageous...just to say good morning, goodnight, etc. To me, it was more important to think ahead and to secere the relationship I had back home, than to be SELFISH and just concentrate on what I had going on there on Vacation. Eventually...he moved to Arizona and left me cause things ended up going bad in our relationship...when he did that, a week later, I flew out there to try and turn my wrongs around. In the past, I had made plenty of mistakes and learned so much in the process. With the guy I'm with now, I have been what every guy would want a girlfriend to be. Even more. I can think of so many instances where I've done things that I don't think most people would find the normal thing to do...I do things on a normal basis that most people would be blown away by. My girl friend today told me that I need to stop revolving my life around trying to be everything for people, because I'll never be satisfied with what I get in return. I think she may be right. Maybe if I stopped being so naturally giving and doing things for people even if it means hurting myself...maybe when people DO do things for me, I'll be able to appreciate it. I think that saying "treat others how you want to be treated" is bogus...because... how can anyone ever compare to the one that's treating others better then themselves? Other people must be normal...cause I feel if I acted in such ways that are "average"...I'd be so half-assed. Do I stop caring about others and this relationship so much? Do I start thinking only of myself? Do I stop expecting things in return? Am I really SELFISH? God...I'm so hurt and confused. I want to show my boyfriend that he's my world...but why do I have to get so hurt in the process...? Same with people on an every day basis...I want to be the over caring person...but if I'm never going to get it in return...what's the point. I never expected it in return...until I realized that it's what gets me down so much.. I can't eat, sleep, think...nothing. ...............Thank you so much for taking time to read this all!

Will do...Thanks so much everyone!

Eh, well for me, I orgasm and ONLY get wet...I've never came to where its noticeable really. For you, it was probably just one of those times where you were "more" wet and discharge etc. Most girls only get wet when they cum I've heard...We'll wait and see for some more responses. Overall though, as for the orgasm, you probably did each time, that can vary.

Thanks to everyone. I thought for sure I'd be getting responses saying that I should leave....I was totally wrong. You guys have helped me make such a huge decision that I probably would've made wrong, and lost him for good. I think I was being very selfish...and on top of it, I made him feel so much lower than he already does... Once again, you all are so awesome...where would I be without you all!

It all depends....I believe that just making new random friends of the opposite sex when you're married...doesn't add up. I could definitely see if it's a co-worker and on a business level. But...talking to them on the way home from work, etc? That's a singles life I believe. Now, if they are friends from before you were married and you know the person and so on and so forth, that's totally different. When you're married, there's that "2 in 1" bond...although you need separate lives, when it comes to things like that, there's no reason why you shouldn't know these men. It is probably all innocent, but maybe out of respect she could maybe introduce you and explain things a little more, because you sound a little misguided. good luck !

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we love eachother with all of our hearts. Well, about a week ago he showed me something that looked like a rash a little under his waistline and we didn't think much of it. The "rash" started turning into wart like bumps and he decided to go to the doctor today about it. Little did he know, that these bumps were more than likely and STD (genital warts). He was checked about 2 years ago, and since then he has had one other girlfriend that he slept with before me...which is where he had gotten this from... Naturally, I flipped out on him, telling him that if the tests come out postive..that I am gone and refuse to be with someone dirty and so on and so forth. All he could do is cry and apologize. He came over and just held me and reassured me that he understands...and that losing me will tear him apart, but that he will respect my decision. In the meantime, we tried to keep our minds busy and kept active today. On the way home from the day out, I fell asleep in his car and was woken by sobbing...when I woke up, he told me that I looked so precious sleeping that way...and that he couldn't believe that he was putting me through this. He then was telling me that the part that hurts him so much is that I don't deserve to be put in this postion and that just looking at me makes him feel so embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Later on, he was saying that he never felt the way he does and that he'd rather just die than to deal with what he has coming his way. He knows deep down it's not the end of the world, but in the mix of everything-he feels like things are done for him. I've never seen him so emotional...ever. I know I mean the world to him, and I also know that he is man enough to let me let go...which I respect so much. It's so hard to see him in this state and not know what to say or do. He keeps explaining that seeing me makes everything so much harder...knowing that I might not be around anymore in a few days...and that he feels I should end things with him now, so I can begin to heal. Now, my problems and pain vary....I don't know if leaving him is the right thing...I know he's never cheated and never would, also...he hasn't done ANYTHING wrong to me..EVER. He treats me the way every woman wants to be treated. This just happens to be a really, really confusing and rough situation...Our sex life would have to end, having kids would be out of the question...because of spreading it....(and to him - having a family is his sole purpose in life..as for me too). I don't know if leaving is the wrong thing or the right thing. This is something that he didn't even know he had up until now...(I was checked for these things for a menstral situation and I am fine...) Does anyone have any idea's...any suggestions...any feedback that can help me sort my thoughts better-I know everything is a little trown around, I'm just so lost.

My first boyfriend would last like 5 minutes](*,) ... the FIRST time(we lost it to eachother)...it was like 45 minutes...after that...never again My boyfriend now...it depends! He will go for an average of 15-20 minutes...but when he masterbates a lot in that week, he'll only last like 5 minutes! He tries not to in order to build up his stamina...

He seems like he just wants to save himself from anything...and that's something to respect. Has he had sex without a condom before with anyone else...and under what circumstances? If he's willing to with a condom, well then, do that...atleast he's being SAFE.

Hmm, interesting...I have never expirienced this, but I can sort of imagine how it happeneds... She must be coming up to high before she thrusts down again, either that, or you are going at the opposite direction(you're pulling when she's pushing)...I always am on top at an angle, so im more up by his stomach and while having sex on top. I'm moving in a slant rather than directly up and down on it, so thereforeeee, even if i were to raise my body too high..i wouldn't smash down on it. ouch.

That is so DISRESPECTFUL..!!!! It's one thing to THINK it, and not even want to act on it for real..but to say it and probably MEAN it. It's not right and he doesn't deserve you...screw that.](*,)

Well, I was on the pill, and for personal reasons I went off about 3 months ago. I wouldn't say it's planned, but we do it in spite I guess. We would love to start things, but it's sticky situation....and yes, you're right we should be using some form of protection. But, the fact is...we didn't and now, I'm a little confused as to what is happening..

Is it a possibility that the test wasn't able to detect it yet, or are they for the most part always correct? I used the ClearBlue easy read...and it said that it detects it up for 3 days before your missed period. In this case, that would be 5 days clear of detection since I took it 2 days after I was late.