Kimmikazi

Funny you say that!! I started a scrap book about a month ago, and since I've gotten home I've been going back and forth to it! Although, it mayyy take longer than another week, I'm sure! It sure does work well with time though! I like that idea a lot though! A LOT. I'm going to do that tomorrow...start looking for something sentimental!!

You guys are right...and I should've known he was right as well. He's an amazing guy and I couldn't want a single thing more. I just wish I could stop myself from getting the way I get...I'm going to push him over the edge if anything. It's so hard to except that you yourself has a problem Trying to fix it is even harder. Thanks for the advice though...I'm seeing it more clearly...I'm kinda...an idiot!

I can't say I relate, but this story really got to me. See, when it's someone liek you, that is realizing there is a problem, and you seek help...I respect that 100%. It's a tough situation because you can only be happy with yourself if YOU want to be. Sleeping with men and doing that to your body in the end, I'm sure...is only setting yourself up for mental pain. In the time being, yeah, this guy is sleeping with you, and so is the next and the next. It may feel as though hearing these words from them is uplifting...but I'm guessing your mother has never really given you positive reinforcement on things? Or has she in the past...before all of this started happening. It doesn't seem like you're doing this for attention nor just because you enjoy sex like a nympho. More so, for comfort, to feel loved and attractive. I'm sure your therapist has tried many tactics with you. Have you tried doing something that you can be proud of. Maybe, working out and shown yourself improvement? If you run...set goals? Register in school and watch grades go up? If you need to, what about set up a hair appt...take some time for YOU and not giving your body for someone elses pleasure. All in all that's what it comes down to.... Try writing postive things down about yourself...things that you dislike about yourself...and once you better the downfall about yourself...crossing that out and doing something awesome for yourself... Try postive reinforement on your own mind and for your own good. Noone elses. If you can't count on the ones you love to help you get through...do it for you. You are a good person, I am sure...everyone is when they dig deep...it's what you pull out of yourself not what what you have to give to another. best of Luck.

I'm about to lose it. >> Here's my "issue".... I have been dating my boyfriend for quite some while...he's an amazing guy and I couldn't ask for more...(or could I?...) I've never considered myself as a person that gave to much until recently. Time and time again my boyfriend is claiming that I'm "selfish","ungreatful", and other sorts of things along those lines. To some extent, he may be right, but I believe that it's because I give way too much, so when I get something in return that isn't up to par, I get let down to the point where I just don't know what to do. I'm a creative mind, always trying to think of others, trying to make things beyond the norm, and trying to rid myself from being just the "average" person. My theory is...anyone can SETTLE for the guy who goes out to bars, spends time with the girlfriend, works, and comes home to bed. I want the guy that goes out with friends, bars when it's the right time, remembers his friends birthdays, good head on the shoulders, a brain, spends not only time with his girlfriend...but showing what she REALLY means to him, and before going to bed...call his girlfriend to say I love you...once in a while tells his mom what she means to him etc. I want the guy that's just not the average Joe basically. Someone that has more to give than just what is basic and necessary. More action; Less words. I found him. He has his downfalls, but he knows what I expect and he tries to be it all, and I DO appreciate it. Now, what's going on at the moment in this mind of mine...is... He's in Mexico with his Mom, Dad and Sister...visiting his family that he has not seen in over 10 years. His Grandparents, Cousins, etc. He also went for his Little Cousin's Catillion(sweet 15). He's gone for 2 weeks...and although I knew I'd miss him...I didn't know how much. Before he left, he was so amazing, he took me to this place I've always been dying to go to, he surprised me with roses at work, and spent all his time with me...he usually does, but he just really showed how much he'd be missing me...he wanted things perfect before he left.....and told me that when he's gone he'll call me as much as possible. So, the day after he got there, he called and left me a v-mail saying he got there safe, said it was so awesome to see his Grandma, and all that stuff. Well, Saturday morning I set off (with a hangover, lol) and got a tattoo on my pelvis...of ... his name. Insane, I know. But, this is the man I plan to marry, already have been trying to have a baby(I'm not able to easily), and be content with for the rest of my life. So, finally he called again that night...he bought 2 calling cards with only 10 min on each...since his cell phone won't work out there. Within those 10 min. a fight evolved. I told him how frustrated I was that I couldn't talk to him when I wanted...and he replied with "you are selfish", and that I don't even care to consider what he had to go through in order to get the cards...it's pretty ghetto where he's staying...and the walk isn't safe at all...etc! So, I understood and said I'm sorry and that I loved him...the card ran out of time. So, the next day he called when I got off work and he said he went to the Catillion Saturday, and something just got to me, and I was like...So how were the women there and basically I just talked crap to him. He was REALLY upset. (I rarely pull the "jealousy" card). SO he told me he'd just let me go and call me later that night. No call...nor the morning or when I got off work. Off to school I dragged myself. I've always been the person to do more than what I should and receive less...or does it just "feel" that way cause others aren't going to the extent I would go to...Although I am this way, once someone takes advantage of that, I've never been one to be a fool. I am strong, and I won't crack. So, he called me today finally-and said he had no more minutes other than the 5 that remained and I was furious that he didn't buy more. If it were ME...I would have STOCKED up on cards... I would have walked 10 miles in the pouring rain...through the ghetto...ANYTHING. That is just the PERSON I am. Naturally, I'll do ABOVE AND BEYOND. I'd want to be able to call at random and say I love you, say I miss you...I know he'd be back at home waiting on a call..or would he? He knows this, and although I didn't think I expected the same, I DO. He asked why I was doing this...why I wanted to keep fighting every time he had a chance to call. I told him it was PROBABLY because he never called me back last night nor this morning OR after work...and how he KNEW I'd be waiting. He told me that he couldn't put up with what I was doing and that maybe I should just move on. MOVE ON?? I gave my life to this guy...tattooed him on my body!, and now he's saying such words?? I almost lost it, and he said..."Kim, do you have something on your mind? Maybe a guilty conscious, maybe you got the tattoo cause you cheated. Then things got heated and it got to a you, I don't believe you" thing.. SO NOT LIKE US!!! I couldn't believe the words he just said. He swore, got angry...that's NOT like him. I asked when I'd talk to him again, and he said he didn't know and that he had to go cause the card was almost out...he then said "I Love You"..and the phone went out. Now, I know that from this long scenario, it may seem that I am selfish, self centered, and not letting him be with family etc. But, from my end-it's not like that...I am so happy he gets to visit his family and go to his roots in Mexico, that's awesome. But, I don't expect that he leaves and forgets what's here for him day in and day out on an every day basis...the girl he goes to sleep with every night...the girl that will give him the WORLD, the girl that he goes to with every bit of advice..the one he is trying to have a LIFE with. I am the one that WOULD NEVER just not call...or only buy 2 damn calling cards, or make it a point to say "appreciate this". It should be a given to call me every day in my eyes. Possibly because it's what I would do naturally. There's been way more than one incident where he would never go to the extent to show me his love that I just do naturally. He's very stubborn, when we fight...it's me doing everything in MY power to pull things together. We DO NOT have a jealous relationship either...so when that situation occurred I couldn't believe it. I think it's in general..the person I am...For instance, before this... I was in a "serious" relationship, I took a vacation with my girlfriends to Cancun..not the best place to be when you're serious...but besides all that...I stocked up on so many calling cards, the cost was outrageous...just to say good morning, goodnight, etc. To me, it was more important to think ahead and to secere the relationship I had back home, than to be SELFISH and just concentrate on what I had going on there on Vacation. Eventually...he moved to Arizona and left me cause things ended up going bad in our relationship...when he did that, a week later, I flew out there to try and turn my wrongs around. In the past, I had made plenty of mistakes and learned so much in the process. With the guy I'm with now, I have been what every guy would want a girlfriend to be. Even more. I can think of so many instances where I've done things that I don't think most people would find the normal thing to do...I do things on a normal basis that most people would be blown away by. My girl friend today told me that I need to stop revolving my life around trying to be everything for people, because I'll never be satisfied with what I get in return. I think she may be right. Maybe if I stopped being so naturally giving and doing things for people even if it means hurting myself...maybe when people DO do things for me, I'll be able to appreciate it. I think that saying "treat others how you want to be treated" is bogus...because... how can anyone ever compare to the one that's treating others better then themselves? Other people must be normal...cause I feel if I acted in such ways that are "average"...I'd be so half-assed. Do I stop caring about others and this relationship so much? Do I start thinking only of myself? Do I stop expecting things in return? Am I really SELFISH? God...I'm so hurt and confused. I want to show my boyfriend that he's my world...but why do I have to get so hurt in the process...? Same with people on an every day basis...I want to be the over caring person...but if I'm never going to get it in return...what's the point. I never expected it in return...until I realized that it's what gets me down so much.. I can't eat, sleep, think...nothing. ...............Thank you so much for taking time to read this all!

Will do...Thanks so much everyone!

Eh, well for me, I orgasm and ONLY get wet...I've never came to where its noticeable really. For you, it was probably just one of those times where you were "more" wet and discharge etc. Most girls only get wet when they cum I've heard...We'll wait and see for some more responses. Overall though, as for the orgasm, you probably did each time, that can vary.

Thanks to everyone. I thought for sure I'd be getting responses saying that I should leave....I was totally wrong. You guys have helped me make such a huge decision that I probably would've made wrong, and lost him for good. I think I was being very selfish...and on top of it, I made him feel so much lower than he already does... Once again, you all are so awesome...where would I be without you all!

It all depends....I believe that just making new random friends of the opposite sex when you're married...doesn't add up. I could definitely see if it's a co-worker and on a business level. But...talking to them on the way home from work, etc? That's a singles life I believe. Now, if they are friends from before you were married and you know the person and so on and so forth, that's totally different. When you're married, there's that "2 in 1" bond...although you need separate lives, when it comes to things like that, there's no reason why you shouldn't know these men. It is probably all innocent, but maybe out of respect she could maybe introduce you and explain things a little more, because you sound a little misguided. good luck !

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, and we love eachother with all of our hearts. Well, about a week ago he showed me something that looked like a rash a little under his waistline and we didn't think much of it. The "rash" started turning into wart like bumps and he decided to go to the doctor today about it. Little did he know, that these bumps were more than likely and STD (genital warts). He was checked about 2 years ago, and since then he has had one other girlfriend that he slept with before me...which is where he had gotten this from... Naturally, I flipped out on him, telling him that if the tests come out postive..that I am gone and refuse to be with someone dirty and so on and so forth. All he could do is cry and apologize. He came over and just held me and reassured me that he understands...and that losing me will tear him apart, but that he will respect my decision. In the meantime, we tried to keep our minds busy and kept active today. On the way home from the day out, I fell asleep in his car and was woken by sobbing...when I woke up, he told me that I looked so precious sleeping that way...and that he couldn't believe that he was putting me through this. He then was telling me that the part that hurts him so much is that I don't deserve to be put in this postion and that just looking at me makes him feel so embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Later on, he was saying that he never felt the way he does and that he'd rather just die than to deal with what he has coming his way. He knows deep down it's not the end of the world, but in the mix of everything-he feels like things are done for him. I've never seen him so emotional...ever. I know I mean the world to him, and I also know that he is man enough to let me let go...which I respect so much. It's so hard to see him in this state and not know what to say or do. He keeps explaining that seeing me makes everything so much harder...knowing that I might not be around anymore in a few days...and that he feels I should end things with him now, so I can begin to heal. Now, my problems and pain vary....I don't know if leaving him is the right thing...I know he's never cheated and never would, also...he hasn't done ANYTHING wrong to me..EVER. He treats me the way every woman wants to be treated. This just happens to be a really, really confusing and rough situation...Our sex life would have to end, having kids would be out of the question...because of spreading it....(and to him - having a family is his sole purpose in life..as for me too). I don't know if leaving is the wrong thing or the right thing. This is something that he didn't even know he had up until now...(I was checked for these things for a menstral situation and I am fine...) Does anyone have any idea's...any suggestions...any feedback that can help me sort my thoughts better-I know everything is a little trown around, I'm just so lost.

My first boyfriend would last like 5 minutes](*,) ... the FIRST time(we lost it to eachother)...it was like 45 minutes...after that...never again My boyfriend now...it depends! He will go for an average of 15-20 minutes...but when he masterbates a lot in that week, he'll only last like 5 minutes! He tries not to in order to build up his stamina...

He seems like he just wants to save himself from anything...and that's something to respect. Has he had sex without a condom before with anyone else...and under what circumstances? If he's willing to with a condom, well then, do that...atleast he's being SAFE.

Hmm, interesting...I have never expirienced this, but I can sort of imagine how it happeneds... She must be coming up to high before she thrusts down again, either that, or you are going at the opposite direction(you're pulling when she's pushing)...I always am on top at an angle, so im more up by his stomach and while having sex on top. I'm moving in a slant rather than directly up and down on it, so thereforeeee, even if i were to raise my body too high..i wouldn't smash down on it. ouch.

That is so DISRESPECTFUL..!!!! It's one thing to THINK it, and not even want to act on it for real..but to say it and probably MEAN it. It's not right and he doesn't deserve you...screw that.](*,)

Well, I was on the pill, and for personal reasons I went off about 3 months ago. I wouldn't say it's planned, but we do it in spite I guess. We would love to start things, but it's sticky situation....and yes, you're right we should be using some form of protection. But, the fact is...we didn't and now, I'm a little confused as to what is happening..

Is it a possibility that the test wasn't able to detect it yet, or are they for the most part always correct? I used the ClearBlue easy read...and it said that it detects it up for 3 days before your missed period. In this case, that would be 5 days clear of detection since I took it 2 days after I was late.

I'm getting a little worried, and my boyfriend has it set in his mind already that I'm pregnant...although, I took a test the other day and it came out Negative. The reason why he's so sure is that last month we had sex 3 times where he came in me. Now, we don't make this a regular routine, but in these 3 certain instances, we let it occur. We both are mature, and would support eachother if it turns out that I am pregnant, but we definitely would rather wait until we are married and more concrete in our lives. I am, as of today, 6 days late and took the test on the 4th day I was late...I have NO regular signs that I'm getting my period at all - I haven't had a period cramp or any other signs I ALWAYS get before it comes. He's saying that there is no way I am not pregnant, since he had came in me 3 times, I'm this late(when I never am), and I'm not getting any signs of it coming.... I feel as though maybe I am just -late-...and that if I was pregnant, that it would've shown in the test I took 2 days ago. Anyone more knowledgeable on this that can explain some of my questions?

41 days is a long time to still be having to question it. All you need to do is take a test...You'll have the answer in an instant. Being that late, I'd say your chances are sky high, but then again, for the situation that happened, I'd have to say it's a very unlikely chance. Your best bet...is to take an at home pregnancy test. Good luck.

Noo. I'm so sorry if I gave that impression.. This guy is so far from anything near controlling. I have all the space and freedom in the world. He's nothing like that at all, and if he were..he'd be GONE and out of my life. He's a wonderful, loving person...it's just that the way we handle things are different..such as he'd rather talk out every little detail in order to solve something, and I'd rather let things just cool off and move on. To him, he believes that this is ignoring the situation, where as..I believe it's recognizing the issue and moving forward rather than dwell on it. That's just one example..but basically that's what I meant. He is by no means aggressive, abusive, or controlling...he's everything opposite.

Someone elses rejection wouldn't have any effect on me at all....I make my own judgements

I know 7 months isn't a long time, and in some ways, yes..still a 'honeymoon' stage...but that's why I'm so concerned right now. We've both been in long term relationships...and know that if things aren't healthy off the bat...it won't magically become easier later. It's just being in love with so many good things in a relationship, and having to maybe give that all up because we don't have the same views which makes us argue...really..hurts. Yes, a lot of the arguments come from just ... different views on things...acting in ways/doing things that the other person wouldn't...a lot of frustration. To me, it feels that differences in persons should make things more interesting and all of that..make things more lively to open up new doors. Maybe it means not compatible.

Hi everyone I need some advice...(Sorry if it skips around a little) Here's the situation..I've been with my boyfriend now for about 7 months. He's an amazing person and a wonderful boyfriend. The trust is there, the love is there, and I thought the compatibility was there too. Although now, we're becoming unsure. Lately, all we seem to do is argue. It can be the most minor thing, and we'll find a way to argue about it. Some things more serious than others... When this happened earlier on, we agreed that we'd figure out what was wrong...and make the changes to fix it. It worked for a while...the past 5-10 times we've been together, they've been spent in an argument that in the end, leaves us with one of us talking about ending the relationship. Then we bring out the "talking" and how we both are willing to do what it takes to make things work. It's starting to feel like a vicious cycle that we both refuse to let ourselves wind up in....We've done the breaking up and thinking about what we want..and we found eachother back in the arms of one another...So, I know, next time we argree to end it..that will be it, and we will go our own ways for good...this is why I feel like I need a light...something or someone to help me get through this and advise me on what I can do or what -we- can do. I know seeing someone too much can harm the relationship...and for that reason, we see eachother on a very balanced basis..that way we have our "own" time too. (So, I've crossed that possibility off..) We're very connected, and we are able to talk to each other and atleast understand the other views as to what we feel is the problem. I'm very aware of what I do to provoke these arguments as well as him...it just seems the harder we try, the less it's working out. I love my boyfriend with all of my heart...I truly am willing to do what it takes to make it work, but there comes a time when you have tried enough. I know he loves me...but I'm really afraid that one day..soon..someone else will come along, someone that he won't feel the need to bicker and fight with...and I'll lose him. I would like to make things right again. Make things calm, exciting and fun. We still have a lot of fun together, we both get excited to see each other, and we still have a good sex life...but when every night turns into an argument...it's hard to focus on all of the good things. Is it possible that even though two people love eachother with all their hearts...and want to make things work out-doing whatever it may take...that it's just NOT going to work? Is it possible that we're "trying" too hard to make it work...and that things should just fall more naturally. I really don't know what to do...I don't want to let him go, because I know that we can have something amazing...and I can't stand the thought of passing this by. One more thing is that...we're both very dominate..neither of us will let the other person be on top...so, that's another area where we bump heads when we argue. Not saying that we talk down to the other person, but one of us will never be the one to just take the heat, swallow it, and be the only one to change to adapt to the relationship. I think this is a good thing, and a strong aspect...although...once again...we're still not able to make it a few days without a full blown argument. Any suggestions or advice? Thanks for listening!

Ok, I'm getting very worried... I started the pill last month (Christmas)... which was the Sunday after I got my period, since I had gotten it the Monday before (6 days later)...The first day that I started the pill, me and my boyfriend had sex and didn't use the pull out method. I went to the gyno the next morning to question when the pill was effected, and our ignorance got the best of us...it takes 1 full cycle of pills. So, for the past couple weeks we've been pulling out etc. Now, the the past 3 days we haven't pulled out and he came inside...which is fine(so we think) because I started my placebo(sugar pills) 3 days ago... Question is..Wasn't I supposed to get my period the DAY I start the placebo pills..? I still haven't gotten it, and that would mean I'm 3 days late. We're both trying not to get too stressed, but it is concerning. Any advice please Thanks!!

Thanks a lot...I'm feeling slightly better about it all. ...I am semi regular....I'll be on time for 2 or 3 months, and then be way off...I also bleed very heavy and have major problems with cramps etc. Ended up in the hospital 2 months ago and actually was admitted for 3 days with morphine etc. This is the primary reason why I was put on the pill to begin with...to regulate my period so that way this will be lightened a bit hopefully..

I started the pill yesterday(Sunday)..which was the Sunday after my period had ended...it ended on the 22nd. On Sunday, my boyfriend came inside of me, with both of us thinking with ignorance that it'd be safe because I had just started the pill. Well, talking with a few girl friends of mine this morning(one which is 5 months pregnant)...I come to find out that the pill is not effective for a month after. I almost passed out, I rushed to my gyno and asked to speak with a nurse. The nurse told me that because my period had just ended that my chances are much lower, and my boyfriend had mentioned the same thing. She also told me that they recommend that girls should wait a month and also use a 2nd form of contraception(which we DIDN'T)... Now, I've been sexually active before, but never let either of the other men cum inside of me, so I'm not sure how my body will take it. I know some friends that have had guys do so, and they never got pregnant, but then again...my girl friend who's pregnant didn't get so lucky. Does anyone know any percentages or how likely I am to get pregnant? I've never been so scared in my entire life....I am only 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 23...we're still working hard and getting through school...we both know we couldn't raise a child just yet. He's a great guy and I know he'll be supportive through everything. Today he jept promising me that things will be alright, no matter what..trying to comfort me...I just know that I won't feel secure for about another month when I find out the outcome. Can anyone enlighten me a little bit on my chances etc? Thanks a lot everyone!

Hey everyone! I need quick advice lol, I seem to love to procrastinate. Anyways, I am going to my boyfriends companys Christmas Party on Friday and need some imput on style....fast! Now, I'm sure it's semi-dressy, but not too overboard. Do you think like dress pants and a dressy top with stillettos would be alright, or are dresses better for the girl? I don't see myself wearing a skirt or dress anytime soon! So....dress pants just might have to do....but i really don't want to feel stupid when every girl around be is dressed all sexy about it lol....and do you think the guy(boyfriend) will think anything of it, when his girl is the only one wearing 'pants'? Although, I'm guessing some girls will be, any idea? Of course, I'm stressing it, as I do with most things. Thanks alot!