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cacain119

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Everything posted by cacain119

  1. cacain119
    I know -- it doesn't *feel* right, but I don't know what else I can do. I didn't *want* to do this. It's just like, if he can't do it right, why do it at all.
  2. cacain119
    condoms are condoms.. I agree. Make sure you pinch/twist the resevoir (sp) tip and roll it on tightly... The expanded tips are the parts that as the leave the hole are suppose to stimulate... And they do *okay*... but it's mostly marketing.
  3. cacain119
    Well, I don't see it as a big deal either... Just sayin, there are other outlets he has for this sort of thing.. So he can be how he wants to be alone, but with me, his job is to please me. I know that sounds selfish, but I'm cutting to the core of it.
  4. cacain119
    He looked to other outlets anyway (not cheating, but you know what guys look for in those cases) -- even when he WAS having sex with me...
  5. cacain119
    the thing is, I *try* to lead by example, showing what I would like for him to do, showing how good it feels on him, when I do it -- he just gets silly, like purposely being overdramatic about it, and it turns me off. It's like his way in the bedroom or the highway.
  6. cacain119
    We have been together for 4 years, we're not friends with benefits. We've been through a lot together -- he moved to FL for a year while I was still in OK, and then to Arkansas, etc.... It's not that we don't love each other. We're very playful and loving towards each other outside of the bedroom. But sex seems to just be happening because it's "fun" -- and that doesn't seem right to me. I *tried* talking to him about it -- and he got upset and didn't want to talk about it. I didn't raise my voice or anything... I just calmly talked about it. It wasn't a discussion though, bc he just laid there with his eyes closed, not telling me a thing. We were both WIDE awake when it started, then he used the excuse that he was tired which was bull. He just wanted out of it.
  7. cacain119
    I'd sit down and talk with her. Tell her about these things.. it's OBVIOUS she's lying. So you need to just sit down, talk to her, let her know that you know she's lying, and talk to her about trust, and how important it is to have in a relationship, etc etc... You MAY be able to make it work. My boyfriend and I went through a similar time at our year and half point.. we've now been together for 4 years and are the closest we've ever been. There was a period of absolutely NO trust for about a year though. We have to build that back up, and it just takes time. She needs to let you know where she's at, at all times (that should just be a regular safety thing -- what happens if something happens to her or you and you can't get ahold of one another?)... If she's going out, she needs to let you know where, and it's VERY suspicious that you can't come along. That's bull. I know that, because I used that excuse.... Just talk to her, evaluate the relationship -- if she can't/won't change... You need to move on.
  8. cacain119
    I feel bad for giving it, and it was one of those things that I said it and I didn't mean to or want to, yet I meant it. My boyfriend and I have sex, on average about 4-5 times a week. Lately (the last 3-5mo or so) it's become so mechanical which was fine for awhile because we both used it as an outlet. I've been going through a really insecure part of my life right now, switching universities, without work, lost a lot of weight (which is a stress of mine, I have a VERY high metabolism so it's so hard for me to gain) -- and he's so busy with work (lots of deadlines in the summer months) -- we just became so routine. I need to feel loved right now. I told him I didn't want to have sex anymore because I felt it was so mechanical, and that we never "make love" anymore. I would rather spend that time kissing, and hugging, and cuddling, and talking. He doesn't even like *talking* about sex unless it's about turn ons/turn offs... I just don't know what to do or say to him about it. I started my cycle today so we have a week to figure out what we want to do -- he was really comforting today (i wasn't feeling good obviously). Has anyone gone through this problem? I just need some outside perspective.
  9. cacain119
    I like to listen to my boyfriends heart beat, I also like to lay down together closing our eyes (not napping though). Silence is a beautiful thing -- sometimes you don't want to ruin it with words. Sometimes partners need space too, or time to think, or might have had a rough day, so even if you don't *want* to think, you're still thinking about how bad it was. In short, no, you shouldn't have to have a conversation ALL the time.
  10. cacain119
    it's no picnic, I applied to the city 40min south of here too! LOL
  11. cacain119
    it was a random thought -- not something I'm really serious about -- but thanks for the poster assuming I'm lazy. I live in a very small town with really NO work, I've applied to pretty much every place i can in town. But thanks for your input.
  12. cacain119
    but has anyone ever joined one of those "online survey" companies where they supposedly pay YOU to take the survey... it just seems like such a hoax, but as I'm unemployed (and don't work purposely during the school year) I'm finding it quite tempting...
  13. cacain119
    nah, I think it's good for what you're trying to do. Just be confident about it.
  14. cacain119
    Sounds pretty good -- I think it's cool when couples go through books like that together... We did For Men Only and For Women Only -- little things like that helped our relationship (and communication) immensely.
  15. cacain119
    Out of defense for us -- we're not all like that. But it's not unusual for girls to play mind games, etc... They just need to feel needed and wanted and loved.. And half the time (SURPRISE SURPRISE) they are so confused with their emotions, they don't know what the hell they want! And I'm sorry you fell for her gag. That's really horrible for her to 'ave done that. I'd hope she could have shown a little more courtesy and maturity.
  16. cacain119
    I'll say I quick prayer for her tonight as well as for your family. God bless.
  17. cacain119
    I know relationships are hard.. don't get me wrong. ..but worth a college decision?? These things aren't to be based on relationships, but what is best for you and your degree... I would really put some thought into that move.
  18. cacain119
    Hey, you need ta teach my guy a thing or two! Sounds like you really like her. My advice to you is to ALSO consider that she is leaving in 8mo. Think about you for a moment.. Think about what's going to get YOU too close to her -- and I would agree.. the sex thing may be premature if you are going to have distance. Do you want to "stay together" over the distance? Where is she going off too any way (I just can't think of a scenario where I would *know* I'm leaving in exactly 8mo, I found that weird). I would just have a sit-down talk with her. You two are adults -- you're right, there's no need for head games. You just need to say *Look, let's get on the same page... What do YOU need.. and here's what *I* need* Be straight but loving towards each other. I just feel this might be leaving for heartache if she knows she's leaving anyway...
  19. cacain119
    I'm sorry, but I'm agreeing with everyone else -- you got the rough end of the deal, big time -- there's no doubt about that. But you need to concentrate on YOU now.. and those sweet babies of yours. If he's not going to be there, you need to pick up and move on. You let him sort out HIS life, he's a big boy. He's not justified, but he's big enough to make his own decisions, al beit, bad ones. Wish ya the best of luck. It's not easy...
  20. cacain119
    maybe you should print this off, and show it to those closest to you. maybe, given all the information, they can work with you on it.
  21. cacain119
    yeh, I'm on yasmin.. it makes me nauseaus if I take it too early, so I take it before I go to bed, and I do just fine on it.
  22. cacain119
    that's really a great way of looking at it.. well, there were just a lot of things I was into during high school and early college, like debating and acting etc... ironically enough, I did not go for the liberal arts major, maybe I missed my calling I'm just going through a quarter life crisis, so thanks for bearing with me... most of the things I did in high school/early college (back to that, yeh! ) you have to have a team for. I golfed, so I tried getting back into that, which was fun... I just want something new. I use to play guitar, but it stressed me out more than anything (it was something my dad pushed me in) -- I'm just finding that I've changed in a lot of ways in my young adult life and I'm just "craving" something new now... again, that whole "refinding" myself... EDIT: kind of one of those things I've ALWAYS been a people pleaser (even while I was acting, playing guitar, etc.), so now I need something for ME. That better explains it!
  23. cacain119
    My boyfriend has this problem from time to time and he's just a few years older than you... It's worry, I promise you, it's been happening to us for a while now on and off... Maybe he's stressed about work (often, it's not even ME) and sometimes it's too late at night, sometimes he's in the mood but he's not "all there" -- often it's a "whoops, it happened" and then us both getting upset and frustrated about it. It takes BOTH partners chilling out when it happens... just stop, relax, let her give you a hand job for a little while, then try again, or let her give you kisses... or whatever gets the motor goin again... the biggest thing is it takes 2 to tango, and it takes 2 to work out the negatives sometimes.. that stuff will happen and it will only be more consistent if you guys keep getting more frustrated/angry/sad/disappointed, etc.
  24. cacain119
    see, for the longest time, i thought i was orgasming when I got really wet.. until I experienced this... sex/fingering/the like gives a lot of amazing sensations... but nothing like what I experienced when I first really orgasmed. It could be different for everyone though.
  25. cacain119
    I just don't know ways to go "find myself" -- I want to do it constructively... I indulge in friendships (in the same ways i've indulged in my relationship) -- so I know "going out with friends" isn't really the solution. It's the "me" time thing.. but I feel like I've "grown out of" some of the hobbies i use to have, acting and the like... ahhh, what does this have to be so confusing, and why do I have to feel so immature. lol I'm humbled. Thanks you guys, for your wonderful advice.
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