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cacain119

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Everything posted by cacain119

  1. cacain119
    that was a really sweet post thank you!
  2. cacain119
    I posted this the other day and what I'm worried about is how these habits are going to bleed into later in life -- he's okay for the moment. He's heavier, but not deathly heavy.. I'm worried about his inactiveness bleeding into later adulthood and not being able to get back on the wagon. I've tried running with him... I've tried going half on a gym membership, I've tried getting him to come to my gym, I've tried playing football with him in the front yard, I've tried taking nightly walks, I've tried a lot... I'm just out of ideas...
  3. cacain119
    what I'm worried about is how these habits are going to bleed into later in life -- he's okay for the moment. He's heavier, but not deathly heavy.. I'm worried about his inactiveness bleeding into later adulthood and not being able to get back on the wagon. I've tried running with him... I've tried going half on a gym membership, I've tried getting him to come to my gym, I've tried playing football with him in the front yard, I've tried taking nightly walks, I've tried a lot... I'm just out of ideas...
  4. cacain119
    Well, he's not fat and that's the problem. You can only tell in his face and tummy. his chest is flat, his butt is *tiny* and his legs are scrawny. I only feel running is making the small parts smaller. I want him to center more on the problem areas and just overall keep a more active lifestyle. It's not his eating habits.. he's got a real tough diet (No pop, zero sweets, etc...) and I've mentioned it, and he's trying to work on it, but he does something like once a week and that's not near enough to fix the problem.
  5. cacain119
    The solution, to me, is simple (and I believe this says it on the condom wrapper) -- but you are ALWAYS to hold the ring as you're pulling out... And this shouldn't be a problem anymore, it also says to pull out slow.. and I'd make sure you can see when you do it, just to be sure. Edit #1: The condom could have slipped because of precum, but it could have slipped because her vaginal fluids were so thick, causing a vacuum, there are truly so many reasons! Edit #2: The condom *for safe sex* she ALWAYS be put on before anything happens where your part will be in contact with her skin. Most STDs are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.
  6. cacain119
    a little on the heavy side. I cheerfully tell him that he looks "joyful" -- and I smile about it.. ..but to be perfectly honest, it's starting to bug me. I use to be a runner, but when I was about 15-16, had to stop for some health reasons. I'm really trying to get back into it, but I do better with lower impact things (tread mills, etc). He likes to run, but doesn't do it regularly enough. I don't know how to get him to start exercising more regularly, when it's without me.. and we can't afford a gym. I use my folks' pass to a gym through my fathers work, but it will cost 5 dollars for each time he wants to go there, which again is way too much. I'm really concerned, not so much for looks reasons. I'm more concerned because I see his father in him, and am afraid he will become like that. We are young, and should be in our *prime* -- I'm afraid if he's practicing unhealthy habits now, he will only get worse later in life. I don't want him to have the health issues his daddy has... Goodness, how can I get through to him?
  7. cacain119
    it's nice to get guys point of view, so I know how they take it, thanks lansing.
  8. cacain119
    highly suspicious I would say -- are you two freshmen? That's sometimes the hardest time because you're meeting loads of people around your age, with specialized interests, etc.. I would just let him have his space, but not before talking to him about it. I would try (if it were me) to get the upper hand back. If he wants space, you need to figure out why, and decide whether you think it's valid. Set rules. Don't give him this time to go cheat, because if that is his idea of space, you need to get over him.
  9. cacain119
    I guess it just happens to be that honesty isn't always cordial. a good guy friend of mine "gave" his number to the convict looking guy for the same reason, changing a digit, and the guy ended up following up about it, so it does seem that honesty is the best policy on this one.. I just want to be nice to everyone.. to a fault.
  10. cacain119
    sadly, that's true.. I just wish I didn't feel like I was burning bridges. I already come accross as being *too good* -- but that's mostly because I'm shy.. stick to the people I'm comfortable with, etc.. it's a messy situation, and it's all the time (any public event, etc..)
  11. cacain119
    well,that's part of it, i'm a horrible liar, so I want to know some good polite ways of getting the point accross... because for example this one guy (I'm a tutor for college level math) said he needed help on his homework in a couple engineering courses, and he asked for it to ask me questions, but then started calling "just to talk" -- guys can be so deceiving, and I just don't want to get in those situations.. and I don't get good guys either, in fact the one in question looks like a convict.
  12. cacain119
    ..give your number to someone? I have a lot of people ask for my number, but my boyfriend gets upset about how many people have it... And I give it out of me just being a people pleaser, but I know it's not right, and I have a couple stalkers, etc, now because of it..
  13. cacain119
    I would first like to say that this is her problem, not yours. My first instinct is that she broke up with you because she had been cheating with this other guy, etc... Things may not have been working out in April, etc, and this is why she called you. You need to worry about YOU and not her.. Protect yourself. You have acknowledged that you don't even know if you want to be friends... So just realize that she is adult enough to make her own decisions (and mistakes if that's the case)... You need space to heal.
  14. cacain119
    thanks so much, star, for your advice and understanding, it means a lot
  15. cacain119
    grr..lol that's another issue I have problems with is that "I'm sorry you feel that way" -- I feel with him saying that, he gets to acknowledge, but not deal with the issue. But i'm happy it worked out for you, I've tried that though. Letting him know it hurts me, letting him know how important it is to talk, but he doesn't do it. His dad has an angry temper, but he just explodes, my bf is much quieter and doesn't do that, but he still gets VERY angry, he just walks off. I don't want him to agree with me, there are times I know I'm wrong, but I want him to deal with the issue, not just say *you said it, now are we done* -- things just get so complicated... again, thanks for your input, you guys have been great.
  16. cacain119
    not as often as you'd think... but they are just explosive... once a week.. once every 2 weeks.
  17. cacain119
    they normally start minor.. it's never been an issue of something like infidelity, etc, that would REALLY turn a relationship upside down, but it starts minor but ends up being a big underlying issue.
  18. cacain119
    frankly, he was so caught up with what he was doing that there was no way he could have seen my actions. lol But that's another story for another day. I wish I could keep him around for the possibility for make up sex, but he doesn't stick around... I just want to keep him in the same *house* at least until we can give each other a moments grace. Those are the moments I just say *You know, if you have to go accross town everytime you get upset, maybe we just aren't meant to be* because it's so heartbreaking every time. You know?
  19. cacain119
    I appreciate your input, I'll definitely look into those, although I'm getting a little jaded on the books just from my previous attempts.. But maybe I've just been looking at the wrong ones. Well, that comment was AFTER I had told him what my intents were, and then he continued to tell me they weren't. heheh... Love's funny like that.
  20. cacain119
    how should I have approached that at the point that he is telling me what I think, and my motives, when he obviously doesn't know what I was thinking.
  21. cacain119
    I read relationship rescue in the beginning of our relationship and some belief-centered books as well throughout our relationship... He just feels so out of control sometimes, and there is nothing I can do about it.. your second exercise seems fitting though, if it could be done in a genuine and non-sarcastic way... I don't want it to become a and what ELSE, honey? thing, you know? that's the attitude that he takes right now. I always want to talk things out, he just feels it draws things out even longer, and he just wants it to be done with. He has so much stress other places, he doesn't like being stressed when it comes to us.. But giving that little attention to a relationship just seems to make it worse.. He hasn't caught on yet.
  22. cacain119
    I am not sure if that was rhetorical or not, but I have no problem answering it either way. I didn't confront him this last time, he confronted me, and he judged my intents on something that he was dead wrong about and I told him that I didn't care as to what he thought my intents were because i knew them in my heart. That is when he walked away. The time before that was as we were riding to a concert (an outdoor one) and he said he'd rather do something else other than my method of getting there, and I said we'd do it his way, and he started saying things I think are inappropriate for this site, but you know how fights are.
  23. cacain119
    it's good to hear you're doing your best to make a mature decision.
  24. cacain119
    well, when he's walking away, it's hard not to get angry just because that is my "trigger".. you know? but if he would just settle down (he blows up too, he's not as passive as you make him out to be ) and just be willing to sit down.. but I don't know how to get him to stop -- I don't like ultimatums, I don't like giving, I don't like receiving, but I need to somehow let him know this has to stop because it's not constructive.
  25. cacain119
    how can I get him to STOP doing it.. He's done it for as long as I can remember, and each time, it drives me closer and closer to the edge.
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