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cacain119

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  1. cacain119
    I've had similar problems. One of my best guy friends told me he had feelings for me 8th grade year (yeh, that long ago!) -- and we acted like nothing had happened.. But the situation would flip flop it seemed until we graduated when we decided we wanted an "adult" relationship once we were out of high school, but it seems our relationship only went down from there. The best advice I can give you is understand what you're waging when you tell them you have feelings... Would you rather keep that relationship as is, or would you rather risk losing it. I'm sorry if I'm not much help.
  2. cacain119
    this is not even in the sense of wanting to talk things out though.. it's in the sense of just leaving... no end consequences.. I find it very cowardly.
  3. cacain119
    ahh! sorry! "walk away"
  4. cacain119
    He'll just leave when he gets mad, not allowing any of us to get our points accross.. I'd even be up for *not* yelling, sitting down, and talking it out.. But then he hates that too -- he's just so (blank) stubborn.
  5. cacain119
    I think what they are referring to is not getting it in the anus... If you put it in there, then in the vaginal opening it can cause infection for the girl! Also, if you've thought about the *other* hole, then use a condom.. It's not an STD, but you can get bacterial infections. Take care and be safe, k?
  6. cacain119
    ..And I refuse to make generalizations.. So I would just like to ask a series of questions... Is it beneficial for you (a man) to away during a fight? Why do you do it? Do you do it because you know it will be hurtful to the woman? Do you do it for themselves? How can I get mine to stop doing this? I find it just as disrespectful as a fight escalating (ie cursing, shouting, etc), it doesn't help me, it just adds to the fire... And I don't know how to get him to stop. Thanks for listening.
  7. cacain119
    I know this may sound rash -- so take this or leave it -- but depending on how close your wedding is, I'd postpone until you trust his financial habits more... or maybe consider his and her accounts when you get married. What you DON'T want to get yourself into is "babying" him financially.. YOU don't want to start paying his payments because he can't, on time. What also concerns me about this, is why hasn't he been open about this? What else would he be keeping from you? ...And you guys are going to pledge to be together for life... You know? That could be my own paranoia, I just think there's more to this than you're letting on. Take care.
  8. cacain119
    Is your mom still around? If she is, have you tried talking to her about it?
  9. cacain119
    that is a truly difficult situation. at the point that you said you would take a break when she went to europe -- it is completely in her hands. she can stay faithful (but you could have equally gone off and met someone..) and she could have chosen to date around. If I were you, I would try to date around. I would try to get over her, however you need to do that. The last thing you want to do is be a carpet for her -- allowing her to have her cake and eat it too -- it's not attractive for a guy to be walked all over. You need to let her know you need time apart, and you are planning on dating as well, and act towards her as if you've already moved on -- I think after that, the true feelings will show.
  10. cacain119
    I appreciate your input. He is just SO hard to talk to -- he gives me this "OH, so you wanna talk things out.. oooookaaay, let's taaaaaalk thiiiiings oouuutt" -- Very sarcastic, very unbecoming, very hard to work with. And it upsets me, and makes me not want to talk things out. Unfortunately, we communicate great through other mediums, I just wish we could communicate better verbally.. i never feel we're on the same page. Tonight was a great example saying *i thought we agreed we'd stop after a mile and a half* -- but he didn't tell me that, just that he wanted to go over a mile... And that was the CAUSE of the whole thing... I'm sorry for ranting -- but thanks for all of you who are listening, and commenting, you guys are really the best.
  11. cacain119
    I would evaluate WHY she is saying that -- is she calling you a player because you are being WAY too flirtateous (forgive my spelling!) -- or is she saying you're interested in this because you're being way too physical already? Girls do feel insecure when they feel out of control with themselves -- I've been in positions in which I haven't trusted myself with another because of what *I* would do -- so I'm not trying to blame you entirely.. I would just first change the way you are acting towards them, and maybe that will change the way they act towards you.
  12. cacain119
    how can i bring that up without making it sound like an ultimatum (he HATES those)
  13. cacain119
    distance makes the heart grow fonder, but sometimes, makes the heart go yonder... I would be careful about how spacey he's been. From personal experience, I got spacey with my boyfriend, but I had a crush and intents of seeing another guy -- I'm not proud of it, but that's true honesty for you -- I'd evaluate why he's being spacey THEN worry about giving him space.
  14. cacain119
    he's hardly ever willing to "talk things out" -- his idea of that is like tonight. He just likes to shove things under the rug and HATES the fact i like to talk things out. He feels it just drags on and on and on... I don't know how to communicate to a person that despises open communication... edit: thanks renaissance -- not many people have it like I do, so I appreciate your empathy... I try to go outside my bounds and it puts me under sometimes, but I appreciate xmrth's attempt to analyze the situation. Keep strong
  15. cacain119
    ..to be honest, that's not a WHOLE lot of information for someone to be able to judge the scenario -- again, I would just bring up something casual.. not some huge sha-bang, just see if she'd be interested in coffee or something... more information would make it easier to give a better response, sorry!
  16. cacain119
    I appreciate your honesty, it's what I need. Actually, HE makes my asthma a bigger deal than it often is, but to be perfectly honest, it's been getting worse and worse and worse, and I'm finally coming to the point that I myself am taking it seriously. He has always taken it seriously. But you brought up some good points, nonetheless. What made me wonder is the fact he took off, left me AND my parents hanging after they invited *both* of us for dinner, didn't call ALL night, even just to talk things out -- he's acting VERY apathetic, and I'm wondering if this relationship is worth it. Someone/something needs to call him to the carpet, and this is my concern and why I'm wanting a break.
  17. cacain119
    I think you should just take it slow I think you should spend more time getting to know the girls -- that counts for the most. Why dont you two go out out for coffee as friends, or catch a show, or something simple before you get caught up in a relationship? As a girl, those are the times I've felt most inclined to get in a relationship when someone has just treated me as a VERY good friend (it makes you want to take it further! ) ..And who knows, if neither girl is as smart or as funny as you think, you're not locked in! I would do something COMPLETELY and UTTERLY casual until you know for sure.
  18. cacain119
    Goodness, i can relate... I'm out for the semester, have been trying to find a job, and my car has been in the shop for the last 4-5 days. Something I find helpful is exercising. It gets my mind off things and at night, leaves me feeling VERY tired, so i fall right to sleep. I remember having this same feeling though when i first went off to college. I would be out SO much that the nights I would have to take it easy, I just felt like a loser. I think it's because I went from extreme to extreme. I went from quitting a job, getting things in order to move, to meeting people left and right. It was liberating (and may have been a source of endorphins?). I would just try to level off.. Enjoy the nights you have to yourself, enjoy your nights out, but try to find something for yourself too... It keeps you more even-keeled. Take care!
  19. cacain119
    My boyfriend and I (of about 4 years) got in a big fight -- it started over something petty, but then turned into a real "evaluate our relationship" moment. We went running tonight, but took a different path (we normally run on a track) -- and I am asthmatic, and started to drag behind. He was so happy about the pace he was keeping that he just kept going even after seeing me hold my throat and chest at the 1mi mark. He said he stopped after the 1 1/2 mi mark to wait for me and see if I was okay, but at this point, I had turned around and taken a short cut back home (I didn't have my inhaler on me and I just needed to get home). He says this was my way of "sticking it to him" and then he just left my place in a rush before we were suppose to sit down and eat with my parents. He didn't call until 10pm (and we had run about 6) telling me he was going to bed. I had already felt "ditched" when we were running so him just leaving and not calling til 10pm left me feeling even more "shoved off" -- I called him back and told him I needed a break. What would make a guy just leave you like that, knowing your weaknesses and seeing you struggle? Am I wrong for wanting a break after something like this? (My asthma is pretty severe and he is VERY aware of the problem...) What are some good rules of a break -- I don't want to see other people, I don't want HIM to see other people, he's just very caught up in work, etc, and I would like some time to step back and evaluate things.
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