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  1. Well, tbh, not found someone with so much in common in a long, long time, If ever...so perhaps there is someone better....but I don't wanna wait forever. I'm 42 and never been married! As for using the kids, yes and no. Like I said, it would be genuinely nice to find another single parent to be able to do stuff with the kids with. It is very hard to find. I have friends without kids and married friends with kids....but when I have my boy, it's difficult to have adult company at the same time as taking him out etc. Don't get me wrong, sometimes its great just me and him...other times it would be great to have another adult there. And of-course, she said it was a lovely idea. But yeah I would be lying too if I didn't think it would be an opportunity to get to know her more or her me....after all she may have rejected an official second date for whatever strange reason, but that's when we would have got to know each other more.
  2. Thanks everyone with the responses. After 3 weeks of not texting her, I invited her with her son to come out with me and my son to Kidzania on Saturday. I said I I wouldn't normally do this, but I said it was hard to find other fun single parents to hang out with while the kids were playing. I said it's not a date, it's a playdate. She replied straight away to say it was a lovely idea, but her kid was with his dad on Saturday (which I suspected might be the case as he was when we went out on a Saturday a few weeks earlier). She said, how about another weekend? I said yeah why not, let me know when you have him. She said she would and hoped all was good with me. I didn't want to prolong the conversation, so I said yes thanks and hoped she was too and left it at that. So on the one hand I don't wanna be friendzoned and I'm still a little annoyed at the way she sent the text I started this thread with. Everyone I've spoken to, can't believe that not having enough spark is the real reason she didn't wanna come on another date. However, it is actually genuinely really difficult to find other fun single parents to hang out with when you have 7 or 8 year olds too. So I have no idea whether her response is good news or not in terms of romance, or whether she actually thinks it's just a good idea too to hang out with the kids. But we did have loads in common including her having a 7 year old and me an 8 year old! So thanks for a massive amount of responses, what do you reckon guys?
  3. Yeah, I think you are correct! It would have been better on my behalf for her to say she was doing that though! Saying not enough chemistry didn't seem true.
  4. I think Bluecastle makes a great point. You would be hard pushed to find anyone who doesn't take a risk of some sort. Some people smoke, some people drink too much alcohol, some people do drugs, some people eat too many fatty foods, some people drive too fast, some people jump out of airplanes. The list goes on. How many people male and females must hook up with people they don't really know and go back to their place each weekend.....and what percentage of them must come to any harm? The overwhelming majority must enjoy it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so wanted to meet up again. She must have enjoyed it to some extent to bother to continue texting. The percentage who come to any harm must be minuscule compared to those who get cancer from smoking, heart disease from eating fatty foods, have a car crash from driving too fast and they have children. It's about putting risk into perspective and like anything in life balancing the risk with the reward. I don't smoke, don't drink drugs, don't particularly drive too fast or jump out of airplanes, I'd like to lose a little weight but I'm not at risk...but yeah occasionally I drink too much and even more occasionally I bring a woman back to my place iI haven't got to know too much! I haven't come to harm from that in my life time and don't know of any of my friends and acquaintances who have.
  5. Not after 2 days no. Especially after continuing to text fun, flirty stuff after the date. It may well fizzle after seeing her again and not realising she was quite as I thought, but that's the purpose of the second date that we didn't have. Tbh, I haven't contacted her again so I've let her go. But yeah...the people I've spoken to face to face about this, including women really can't believe what she sent and think there must be something else to it. I guess no-one likes being lied to or duped. Perhaps that's why I won't let it go.
  6. Thanks for the kind message. The one might well be out there but its taking an awful long time to find her if she is. I'm 42 now!! 😂 If having someone come back to your place after a really fun date and her initiating sex again in the morning isn't a spark, I really don't know what is!! Maybe I'm missing something. If women go around having sex with someone they don't have a spark or attraction with (still not sure whether they are the same thing or not), then its news to me!
  7. Yeah....there are risks in everything we do. People have different attitudes and perception to risk. All that could have equally happened on the third, tenth or 50th date. In fact with domestic abuse it happens if people are married for 20 years. But that's why people are compatible with people who share the same attitudes to all that.
  8. I'm a teacher and she's a children's cancer nurse. But we both had the same attitude to all that...the risk is overrated. I appreciate people have different views and that's fine...but that's where we were both compatible.
  9. We didn't meet in a bar or at work or a coffee shop or by random chance and we exchanged numbers etc. We met online, chatted for ages and arranged what I would call a date. I guess it's not really important what anyone calls that really. But here's the thing, I agree she might not have had serious intentions....but she went to an awful lot of trouble to make it sound like she did...when really if she just wanted sex she could easily have said so or been on a dating site for designed to find sex. The last point about safety etc...well we also had a similar attitude to risk. Some people of-course would say 'oh that's far too risky', but we had similar attitudes to risk, we even spoke about it....I like a calculated risk taker and seemed she did...and I didn't think at the time that what she did was risky...that was part of what I thought was the attraction.
  10. Well I at least thought with at least some attraction there and a lot in common and good sex that there would have been a second date. Possibly when we had more deeper conversation rather than just fun. But she's sort of nipped that in the bud. And unless as some people have suggested, that she was actually an expert in getting a ONS or she thinks something else better has come along in the meantime....I think not having a second date is hard to fathom. But hey ho....not the end of the world.
  11. Yes....I think this is it! I mean I guess she can date and chat to who she likes. She might want to have said 'not enough spark', just as being polite for, I've met someone with a bit more 'spark'. But yeah, I have a feeling too that in 2 or 3 weeks she may be back as we had a lot in common (unless she was bullting of-course which could be true). But yeah...I'm gonna carry on dating and think about it if that does arise.
  12. I agree there thanks. If she was only after a ONS then she was pretty expert at getting it, because out of all the women I match with on the dating sites I hardly date any of them. So she knew how to get me going. Whether it was all bull or not I guess I'll never know.
  13. Yeah.. and sent me a video after the date of him scoring a goal. So words and actions completely contradictory. But the other way round to usual. I read her actions as completely into me, completely compatible and that she was completely hoping to find someone for a relationship. However her words say otherwise. 🤷🏻♂️
  14. Well thanks for all the replies. Its really interesting what people think. So......I don't think my ego has been hurt by the fact 'she's not that into me'. This is normal, and happens all the time after one date. Now I might sound big headed but I have many many other matches to go speak to and maybe go on a date with. I think my ego may have been hurt by not picking up the signs of her intentions. And it's not nice to believe as some people do that somehow I was lured in...that she was only ever after a one night stand etc. And if that was the case I would like to be better at picking up the signs especially after someone specifically says 'I hate one night stands', 'I don't want to be on my own' and she had been single for 3 years I think she said. So I guess from what people are saying is I completely misread the signs, what was being said and her intentions etc. And this is not good for going forward, if you don't understand things that went wrong, you can't ensure you don't make the same mistakes twice etc. But I'm still really non the wiser. She was clearly into me, told me about her life, sent pictures of her kid, spoke about all the things we had in common....arranged a fun date, she definitely had fun on the date, came back, she initiated sex in the morning, cuddled and held my hand etc (later I discovered she'd actually bought a change of clothes with her - so in my opinion she had clearly enough attraction to think we would have sex - and we did). Continues to text after the date....and then says there wasn't enough spark. So when did she know there wasn't enough spark? Before the date - it was only ever her intention to come for a one night stand? During the date - but not enough spark didn't prevent her from being attracted enough to come back to mine? - or after the date, when we continued to send funny a flirty text messages? And I'm still non the wiser as to whether spark and attraction mean the same thing in peoples eyes. But thanks all the replies though...people are clearly interested in this sort of thing, I've got a lot of them!
  15. No I'm calling myself one...as in trying to do/be something I'm not. Trying to figure it out. Not calling anyone else one. Yeah I did want peoples opinions, thanks
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