danoooosh

israel..and im from australia

well tomorow we apply for a visa. for those who havn't read the 10 other posts by me over the past 6 months....ive been in a long distance relationship for 7 months now ..before that i lived with my b/f where he lives for 6 months. and before that we lived together in my country...anyway these past months since i last saw my b/f over 6 months ago has been the hardest time in my life and his life. especially since 2 months ago wen we applied for a visa he got rejected.... so tomorow we are applying again and we made the visa the best this time put in ALL THE info we needed and payed 500 bux to a lawyer to help us, so if it doesn't work this time...we really really tried everything. today we spoke.......and tried to consider the fact that he may not get the visa despite all the effort we have put in because immigration are simply unpredictable! and then the only time we will be able to see each other is if i go to visit him at the end of the year (he has to apply for a visa to come to where i live and i dont need a visa to visit him)... we both decided that it would honustly be much to hard for us to stay together another 6 months until we can see each other....and although while i write this ... my heart hurts sooo muchhhh (constantly feels like this when i think about not being able to see him ...) i feel like i never ever got to even say goodbye...i mean when we last saw each other we thought we would be able to see each other only a few months later.....but it never happened...and i stil love him exactly the same since 6 months ago. i guess if he doesn't get the visa its a sign or something.... anyway il let u guys know what happens and if he gets the visa..i shouldn't even be upset yet i know i should stay positive until we know the result but i guess maybe subconsciously im preparing myself for the worst ... thanks to all for all your support over this past 6 months and...i hope i wont be posting here again and i will finally be able to see the person i love the most in the world...if not....im gona be one sad girl

yeh we do plan to live together .. we are trying now to get him a visa to come here so if he gets one he will come for about 6 -9 months and then i will go live with him and study where he lives. however at this present time i cannot go to him because im in the middle of a year of study and im not going to stop it all to go there because it means i have wasted the first half of the year. Basically we didn't expect it to be so hard to be together we expected about a 3 months distance and thats it...but unfortunately things aren't as easy as we thought they would be. however if he doesn't get the visa....that means the only time i wil be able to see him is in another 6-9 months....and things are so hard for us like this i dont think we would be able to hold on for so long

trust me a long distance relationship is not for me i completely hate it .....but im only in it so i can eventually one day finally be with my b/f because i love him so much i have been suffering and going crazy because of him for 6 months! i will never put myself in a long distance relationship again, but you know what some people do for the person they love.... unfortunately this is the first time in this situation i never knew it would be so hard for me...

yeh u r so right, talking so much drives me crazy, but i just can't live without it that drives me even more crazy! il just have to be strong and try and not think about it... thanx heaps for your help

I think that he may just talk alot and talk over you because he is nervous. Some people when they are very nervous they only hear themselves and they are oblivious to anything else. Maybe he is just trying to make conversation because he is scared that you wont be interested in him if he seems uninteresting and boring and doesn't have alot to say. Try and spend a bit more time with him and see if he gradually stops, because he will be less nervous. If however he doesn't stop and you feel comfortable enough around him, just be straight forward and ask him why he is talking over you straight after he does it. Try and say it in a joking way so that if it is just nerves, he wont be embrassed about it, but be blunt and if you get an immediate reaction that he didn't even realise and he looks surprised just tell him what he was doing in a joking/unserious manner. If however he ignores you and continues, he must have a problem ...you should tell him so he knows!!

i wishhhh my b/f lived 1.5 hours away.....he lives 24 hours by airoplane .....if i was in your situation i would be over the moon good luck!

yeh i try that but i can't control myself i get sucked into communicating with him somehowwwww ... i always like think about the fact that im NOT gona call him and wait for him ......but then when he does call and he is happy and stuff i have this resentment that is built up inside me for the fact that i missed him and was holding myself back from doing something and i felt like sh** and he is responsible...

yeh but its not like we have nothing to talk about ...cos we do talk and he does open up and tell me day to day things thats going on with him and stuff.....its just sometimes he makes me feel guilty like im making him talk and he sometimes makes me feel like he is doing me a favour by talking to me even though we have a good conversation and i enjoy it ..he says he enjoys it but that we talk to much. so if he doesn't mind talking .....why does he want to not talk so often i just dont understand .....

and also i cant take a class....im currently studying at university full time and i work...my life isn't so interesting at the moment....no time to take extra classes!

yeh well about the him calling thing - the money isn't a problem for us...like he calls me i call him its all the same. and so basically you guys are saying its fine 2 talk less and i should be more considerate to him but i just think that i am suffering by not talking...and he isn't suffering talking to me so shouldn't he try and help me?

Well for those who havn't seen any of my posts, my b/f and i have been together for over a year now and 9 of those months have been together in the same place (in the country he lives in) and the other months have been separated since I had to return home. We have been living in a very depressing and frustrating situation as my b/f wants to come and visit me for a while and due to visa application denial we have hit a very hard time in our relationship where we have even considered breaking up because it is so hard for us. I have found throughout this time away from my b/f, that he is not much of a phone person (which I had no idea when we were living together as we were in the same place and never spoke on the phone). Firstly he works in a phone company and he is on the phone 9 hours a day, and then its obviously hard for him 2 talk to me when he gets home because he is sick of the phone. And he doesn't have regular use of the internet and if he does its only for a few minutes.... He wants to talk every second/third day or so....whilst I feel very lonely and left out of his life if we dont speak daily. I mean obviously if he or I are too busy working or going out with friends and because of the time difference (7 hours) we can't talk so fair enough I'm not going to make him stop all his life for me. However is it too much to expect him to wake up 15 minutes earlier before work (and he usually starts work in the afternoon) to call me? Or when he is not doing anything to call me? I am the one who usually calls him anyway because I have a very cheap phone card so when I mean him call me I mean him call me and tell me to call him and then hang up or send me a text message to call him. I know this relationship has taken a very big toll on him and myself, being away from each other and not knowing what will happen in the future and if we will even be able to see each other and stay together has been one of the hardest things to live through in my life so far (I am only 19 and he is 23) but he knows how much I appreciate talking on the phone, do you think I'm being selfish that I want to talk more? Sometimes when we talk everyday, he says that there is simply nothing to talk about so when I say things to him he just sits silently and doesn't put much imput and when I get frustrated and ask him why he says its because we talk too much and he has nothing to say and if we talk less it will be more interesting but I'm just happy to sit there and him breathing than not talk... If any of you have any advice please tell me because I want to know if what I'm asking from him is too much...I spoke to him tonight only for 2 minutes and I havn't spoken to him in 2 days and I'm so upset..probably for no reason. Thanks everyone!

my bf and i have been together over a year now....8 months of that together in the same place...and 6 months of that we have been separated by alot of water...im from australia and he is from israel... he was already here travelling in australia wen we met and he came on a tourist visa....and then i traveled to stay with him in israel for a few months.. anyway now ive been home for 6 months away from him and he applied for a tourist visa for him to come again to australia for 6 months and be with me but he didn't get it....we want him to come here for 6 months and then i would go study next year in israel for a year or so... anyway his visa application was rejected and we dont wanna get married or anything because we are both just way 2 young and so now we are trying one more time for a tourist visa and have discussed that despite the fact we miss each other and love each other very much, we just can't continue an overseas relationship like this. so i mean if he doesn't get the visa...we will have to break up just because its been so hard for both of us to get through this time and we can't go on like this whole situation just being so up in the air and not knowing when we will see each other...we are seeing it as fate that if he doesn't get the visa its time to move on ...we both hate not being able to see each other ....and if he doesn't get the visa now the only time i can go see him is in a year so i mean ...is all of this worth it? i really love my b/f very much and he loves me but sometimes i think that the fact that our relationship may be cut short because of this distance thing is really unfair and it makes me want him so much more ...... anyway im just blabbering on alot now.....i hate talking about it to my friends and family because they simply hate seeing me depressed and miss him so much and they think i should have ended it alot earlier...but just the thought of seein him again ..its like my dream.. ok im just wondering...if he doesn't get the visa...and we break up....should i go visit him at the end of the year? or would that be really stupid because i should try and move on with my life? and also..im so used to talking to him and i love listening to him and getting advice from him..hes my best friend even though hes so far away and i havn't seen him for so long ...how will we just stop talking if we break up? i mean i couldn't do that...but by talking to him il just get so depressed...i dont know what to do ive never been in such a bad situation in my life id appreciate any advice...

I know its long but please read im so confused and need help!!! For those of you who dont know my history...ive been in a relationship with my b/f for 9 months now. 6 of those months was the best time in my life as we were living together in his country (i was travelling there). anyway ...i had to come home 3 months ago to enrol to university and the end of my visa etc...and we decided to stay together as we are still very in love and he planned on coming to visit my country ..and if all was good between us and he liked the country he would live here with me as well. we planned for him to come around 2 months later....however due to many circumstances it was very hard to get a visa and we have been separated so far 3 months and it looks like it will be another 4 -6 months...and even then we aren't 100% immigration will say yes to his application. until now i have been finding it very hard to cope without him and i have been missing him really badly and life has just been tough due to other circumstances and having to adjust to being home without him. Until now as well...my b/f wasn't 100% sure he wanted to move here. he was still organising his visa application however doing it quite slowly as he wasn't 100% sure of what he wanted. Of course he loves me very much however moving to another country is a big step for a 22 year old and im only 18...and he was planning on starting university in his own country, he would be moving away from loved ones, starting a new life etc.. suddenly a few days ago he decided he is 100% sure he wanted to come and told me he would hurry the visa application however..well......these past few weeks i have been getting very close to my neighbour who is a tourist here for a year. it started off me just visiting him and his roomates and having late night talks etc... and then i started taking him out as i wanted to set him up with a friend .. anyway i had a feeling that he liked me a bit ...but i just ignored it as i thought he was a cool guy and he is my neighbour and i enjoy his company. however recently ive developed some feelings for him. I'm still very in love with my b/f and miss him like hell..however i think the lonelyness of missing my b/f and not knowing 100% what is happening with my b/f has led me to develop feelings for him. i know if my b/f was here i would never have developed these feelings but now i dont know what to do. does it mean the end of my relationship? i dont want to lose my b/f and my b/f always tells me how he cant even look at other girls and isn't attracted to anyone at all and im the only girl for him etc... until now i felt like that as well but now because of these feelings for my neighbour i have been feeling so guilty and i considered stopping going to my neighbours house. however their company has been so helpful because i have stopped being so depressed because of missing my b/f. i dont know what to do and what is right... my friends tell me to talk to b/f and just tell him that i think we should have a break and be with other people and see how we go ... i mean its only natural and the love i share with my b/f is much more important than random people who i may be with. cant i just be with people until my b/f comes? i know thats so unfair and i cant have the best of two worlds ..however ..i am just so lonely and think im attracted to my neighbour cos he has been like a substitute b/f (without any physical contact of course). i know that when i see my b/f it wil all be fine..but i also dont want to hurt my neighbour who likes me..i mean if i was with him til my b/f came and then told him to piss off that would also be horrible. i also dont want my b/f to immigrate to my country if im not 100% committed ..i feel like ive just lost some passion for our relationship and there is also a time difference which means we hardly talk... if anyone has any suggestions please tell me im so confused i just dont know whats right anymore.

just wanted 2 tel u all thanx so much for the support uve really helped me.............all thats left now is to organise all the papers and just play the waiting game for the next 6 months........ once again it has really helped me having all your oppinions THANK YOU!