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Thanks everyone for the advice. Darkpumpkin, I agree with you when you said that someone isn't that busy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We all are busy but balance is important, and I know that I would make time for a simple call to see how a girl is doing. On a brighter side, I do have a coffee date tonight with another gal. Wish me luck DP

Hi everyone, I met a gal online and after a few emails, I asked her out for a coffee. On our coffee date, we had a great time and we both had alot in common. I said I would call her when we were saying our goodbyes. True to my word, I called her a few days later and made plans to go out last weekend. We had a nice dinner with great conversation, then went to a movie. When I dropped her off, she said that we should keep in touch and she gave me a hug and left. I felt pretty good about the date and left it at that. It was 4 days since I'd last heard from her, so I called her last night. She sounded surprised when I called her and she said that she had quite a busy week. She went on to say how the next week was going to be even busier for her. I understand that life gets busy sometimes and we have little time for other things, but is this a sign that she might not be interested? Our conversation on the phone was very brief and seemed forced (another sign she may be not interested). Am I looking too much into this? It maybe too soon to tell and I should give her the benefit of the doubt. She said she would call me next week and I'll leave it in her hands and see where things go. I guess if she doesn't call, then I have my answer. Still I would rather be told in person and know right away if our relationship was going anywhere DP

Hi Orlando I was just reading over your posts and I'm sorry you had to find out that your ex is engaged. Like what others stated, she's probably rushing into things and probably for all the wrong reasons. It's great to hear that 11/2 years later that things are looking up with your job, dating etc. It from true despair and hitting the lowest of the lows that we are able to rise up and begin a new, more fulfilled existence. Faith in God is a tough one sometimes, but it's the belief that things happen for a reason that keeps me going. Keep chatting to us whenever you need to. Take care man! DP

Hey healedinyc What a great post and it's wonderful to hear that things are getting better for ya. By reading the post, I see you recognized the grieving process and gave yourself time to feel all the emotions that come with the grieving the loss of your relationship. I think it's really important to deal with all those things rather than bottling them up only for them to haunt you later. I'm glad counselling helped you. It did for me. Like you, I'm will be coming up to my 'one year anniversary' in Feb and your post inspired me to do something the same. Take care and be good to yourself Dp

Thanks for the advice I think the point I was trying to make was how long to wait before intiating contact with her again. I don't want to wait too long so she thinks I'm not interested

Hi experts! I had a really good 'coffee' date with someone I met online. She was really kind and considerate. We had a great conversation, lots to talk about, and had lots in common. I ended the night by saying I would call her and she said she'd like that. It's been 2 days and I'm thinking I should call her tonight, to thank her for the great date, and maybe suggest doing something again. Is 2 days too soon, too long to make contact again? In the past I've maybe come accross alittle too needy, moving too fast when it came to 2nd, and 3rd dates and calling them right away. Often it's blown up in my face. Do girls like the chase? I don't want to seem too needy but at the same time, I want to give her the hint I'm interested and attracted to her. So goes the 'game of love'... I think I'm getting better at it. Cheers DP

Hello all As a 'newbie' to the whole online dating thing, I've noticed a few things. I've been using Lavalife and usually you send a person a 'smile' to show you are interested. If they feel the same then they respond either by sending you a smile right back or emailing you. A couple of girls have sent smiles back and I usually respond by emailing them or making first contact. I don't go overboard with my first contact, usually thanking them for the smile and then telling them alittle about myself. Usually they respond and seem quite genuinely interested but then it ends there after one or two emails. Am I a victim of BBD (people findig a bigger, better deal)??? I realize that these online dating sites are full people testing the waters, but to me, if you aren't really interested then why respond in the first place I would be interested in hearing the online dating experts out there for any advice Cheers

Thanks bighair for your opinion I think I am ready to be 'exclusive' and maybe I need to tell her/show her that I like her. I do have the tendency to be difficult to read even though it's unintentional. Maybe I haven't been sending out the right signals. How and where to bring it up is going to be the next challenge. I guess if it's right and meant to be, the right opportunity will show itself. DP

Thanks for the advice. I realize it's still early in the dating process and that keeping things casual is best. I could also give her 'hints' to show that I'm interested in her and see how it's received. Anyways, I'm having fun again doing the dating thing and that's the way it should be! Cheers!

Hi all I met a girl online 3 weeks ago through one of those internet dating services. We've had about 4 dates and I like her and I think we have a good time when we are together. When I check her online profile at this dating service, it shows that she's still using it. Should I be concerned and ask her about it? I know we aren't "married" and are not an exclusive couple yet. She may be still looking for Mr. Right? I know since I've met her I haven't used this online dating service and would like to ask her how she feels about me and if we are a couple. Is it too soon and should I let things run it's course? Any advice? I don't want to seem too pushy, smothering, etc. Maybe I'm just protecting myself due to past painful relationships Thanks guys!

Thanks for the advice 'bighair'. It sure helped, espeically the ending of the date part. I'll keep ya posted...got to go! DP

Hi all I'm going on a coffee date tonight with a gal I met online. I'm starting to get alittle nervous and hope everything goes well. It's my first attempt of dating since my ex of 6 years left me back in Feb. Dispite being alittle nervous, I'm just going to be myself and see where things go! Thanks for listening....wish me luck DP

Hi all It's been quite some time since I've sent out a post. It has been about 8 months since my ex left me, and I've been using the time to heal, learn about myself, and try to look forward This past weekend was tough. 2 years ago we got engaged at Niagra Falls and all those memories came back and hit me like a mac-truck. I really hate anniversary dates and how they effect me. I really hope that one day these memories will bring a smile to my face but now they only remind me of what we had and how happy I was in my life. Too bad she didn't feel the same. Thanks for listening and I know it will be better someday.... Take care everyone DP

Hi everyone It's been awhile since I've posted anything. I was doing fine, getting stronger, and things were looking up... I hit alittle roadbump this morning. I found out through some family friends that my ex is moving to Newfoundland for good. She was living in London, ON, and I'm in Edmonton. We've been apart for 6 months now with little contact since the breakup. This moving news hit me quite hard. I knew it was over for a long time but this seals the deal. I'm happy that she'll be closer to her family but sad that she'll be furthur away. I know I shouldn't be feeling this but I do. She always loved NFLD and she mentioned she'd love to live there (even when we were together). I guess she got what she wanted. I'm feeling so many things again, just like 6 months ago. I feel abandoned, left out in the cold, heart ripped out, blah blah blah.... Maybe I thought if she found a job back here in Edmonton that we'd try things again...but I guess it wasn't meant to be since she's found work in NFLD. She always said that we'd never get back together but being the 'dumpee' I always had hope. Sometimes I still can't get it in mind that 'she left me for her own gain, hurt me in the process, and is not looking back'. I don't know why I give her such power over me. I guess I'm still healing and are bound to go through these stages. ...but things are getting easier. Things are looking up in my life, both career and spirtual wise. I just have to remember what things were like 6 months ago and how much I've changed and grown.... and now I must leave for a coffee date. Wish me luck! You never know what will happen in life. Thanks for listening to my rant. Keep strong everyone! DP

Thanks everyone for your feedback My sister did say that she takes a LONG time to reply to her emails (and it looks like phone calls too I'm not sure if she was excited or ambivalent. I'll have to ask my sis what her reaction was. I met her 2 years ago but I was dating someone at the time. We really hit things off, had lots in common, and had great conversation. Now that I'm single and we're in the same city, I thought we could go out on a date. I know alot could have changed in those 2 years but I do know that she's single and looking! I don't want to appear deperate/needy so I'm going to let her respond. She may be just busy or out of town, but at the same time, I don't want to be nieve and make excuses for her. I'll keep ya posted! Shesh...this dating thing is tough! DP