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ratherbesailing

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Everything posted by ratherbesailing

  1. ratherbesailing
    Cobro - Good job. You are doing fine.
  2. ratherbesailing
    Charlotte - Tell everything to your friend's mother and let her help you. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own.
  3. ratherbesailing
    heignoresme - Are you looking for the words to say to him to end it or are you trying to figure out how to let go of him in your heart?
  4. ratherbesailing
    liquidcherry - I've been dating the same woman for seven years and I've never once thought to ask her for any passwords and she's never asked me. Neither has offered the other either. We trust each other.
  5. ratherbesailing
    dimstar - Congratulations on the condo, great move.
  6. ratherbesailing
    By all means go, just don't act like you're nervous out about it. Just act friendly like everything is normal and let her make any body contact first. Don't ask about the flowers, if she wants to talk about it let her bring it up. I don't think you are in as much trouble as you think. There is really nothing wrong with giving her flowers after three weeks. If she's freaked out it is something she needs to come to grips with. Just don't put any pressure on her. You said thanks for being in your life, not will you marry me. She'll come around when she realizes you are still the same guy she was holding hands with and that you aren't going to try and drag her off to elope.
  7. ratherbesailing
    Dimstar - I should have added this to my earlier post, but don't be in a rush to get married either. I don't know how many months several is, but take your time.
  8. ratherbesailing
    dimstar - It sounds like you have found someone you really care about and I'm happy for you. Don't let your parents spoil that. Are you still living with your parents? If you are you need to get the heck out of there as fast as you can. I don't think it is a good idea to completely cut off ties with any family members but I don't think you need to feed your mom's dramatics either. I wouldn't try to convince your mom that she's wrong and I wouldn't keep listening to her give you reasons why you shouldn't be dating your girlfriend. Every time it comes up just tell your mom that you love her, that everything is going to be fine, but that you will not under any circumstance discuss your girlfriend with her. You may have to tell her a hundred times but if you avoid debating the reasons and just stick to telling her it isn't open for discussion she'll eventually give up. She won't die. And again, move out if you haven't already. Good luck
  9. ratherbesailing
    Cobro - What's done is done so don't worry or over analyze what she's thinking. She called and thanked you and said it isn't a problem so just take her at her word. If you normally talk every day, just wait and see if she calls tomorrow. If she does, just act like nothing happened and keep things slow for a while, get your cues from her. If she doesn't call by tomorrow night, I'd give her a call and just act normal, in the slow, I'm cool with the way things have been kind of way. I'll bet she's sniffing those roses after work tonight.
  10. ratherbesailing
    1love2k5 - Is there a reason that you can't work towards your GED? I've got to imagine that most places you are applying are looking for high school graduates and that maybe the biggest reason you aren't getting call backs. You at least have to work on your math skills. If you find out you've lost a job because you can't make change to a customer then you have to work on that. Take any criticism you get as good advise and improve in that area. Try not to get angry. These companies that you apply at don't owe you anything, you have to earn their respect and show them that they are going to benefit by hiring you. Some of them probably get lots of applications and at those you have to show them why you are better than the other applicants. The local unemployment office should have some resources for training and placement. Here's the phone number and address. Call and make an appointment. They will help you. New Hampshire Employment Security PORTSMOUTH OFFICE 2000 Lafayette Road, 03801-5673 Phone: (603) 436-3702 When you have a job you have to make sure you are working harder and better than everyone else or else you may be the one to be let go or laid off. Show up a little early, don't be in a rush to leave, smile. If you are absolutely convinced that race is a factor then you should make sure you apply to plenty of big companies that have policies against discrimination. You might want to see if there are any state jobs you can apply for. You can find a list of NH minority owned businesses at this address . There are a couple near you, you could try them or look for business that have other African Americans working there already. I'm just afraid that if you are angry and blame others for not being able to get or keep a job that your attitude is going to come accross when you apply and that you aren't going to try to improve. If you are faced with discrimination then you are going to have to prove yourself even more but there are places that will hire you and keep you if you do a good job and have a good attitude.
  11. ratherbesailing
    OCD - She said call the cell, you did and now you need to wait. She's obviously not in a big hurry or she would have called already. It doesn't mean it isn't going to happen but you can't get your hopes up. You have to come accross as interested but not really invested in what she decides. So be patient. If you don't hear from her by Thursday just leave her another message saying good luck with the surgery. How'd the dinner go with the other girl? I was kind of hoping you'd forget about your ex after that dinner.
  12. ratherbesailing
    Diverp - Been there, done that and I do just want to kick myself afterwards. I tend to be the nice guy that goes along with it and doesn't say anything (maybe I roll my eyes) and then afterwards I think I'm more upset with myself for going along than I am with her for leading me in that direction. It isn't like she forced me to go, but my preferences would have had us somewhere else. You were in a tough situation with all her friends there. It reminds me of the trip I took recently with my girlfriend to visit her daughter who's doing a semester out of the country. I went along because she didn't want to travel alone but everything we did was pretty much what they wanted to do. I didn't complain but afterwards I'm kicking myself over all the money I spent doing things I wouldn't have chosen on my own. I did do as shes2smart said and when they were shopping I headed in my own direction and met them afterwards. It doesn't do any good to complain about it after that fact; you lose all your brownie points that you earned by going. What we have to do is lay down the ground rules before hand when the next trip is planned or just plain say no. She was hinting that she wanted to go to the mall tonight; I rarely have trouble saying no to that one. I was in San Francisco with another guy a couple of years ago and walking the wharf is what we did. I enjoyed it; anything near the water is good for me if it isn't a mall. Those sea lions on the floats are something else, what a racket.
  13. ratherbesailing
    OCD - I thought it was better because now she knows you would like to talk but it is still on her to make the next move. You kept it brief so you don't sound needy or overly invested in whether she makes the next move or not. Good luck, did she call back?
  14. ratherbesailing
    Spartacus - I don't think this is a medical situation and it is a fairly common problem. This is the type of problem that, when it happens once, every time after that his mind is going to be in a panic. We guys put so much pressure on ourselves that you wouldn't believe what goes through our minds. First off alcohol and pot would make the problem worse so only sober sex for now. I'd have him buy a couple of dozen cheap condoms or a hundred and practice putting them on by himself alone. I'm sure he'll find he can keep things hard when there isn't pressure to perform. Let him get really comfortable with putting it on by himself and he won't be as worried when it comes to the bedroom. Rolling them on will become less awkward. He may want to try different types, maybe one with lubrication and one without. When he is with her he should open the wrapper and put the condom on top of the wrapper next to the bed. That takes one big step out of the equation when they are in the swing. I know it sounds a little less than spontanious but who cares? I'd advise against having her put the condom on him, instead I'd say let her finger herself or play with her breasts or both while he's putting it on. That aught to drive him crazy and he won't feel like she's watching and waiting to see if he's going to have a problem. He can join in as soon as he's ready. Then keep practicing and soon enough he'll forget he ever had a problem.
  15. ratherbesailing
    Dregnought - I wish I could talk you out of giving up on school at 15. I know it is hard to see how language and history are going to help you with a job in IT but they will in ways you can't imagine. There are also dances and clubs to participate in. Besides, it is free and never will be again. Did I convince you? IT is a great field and I'm sure you will do well but are there really apprenticeships out there for 15 year olds? My 18 year old son and his business partner do part time IT work and they have a tough time finding jobs. Most of the jobs they've had have actually come through contacts at school. Whether you are in school or not, there are other 15 year olds everywhere. All you have to do is walk down the street to find them. I hope your computer is up and running again soon.
  16. ratherbesailing
    Dregnought - I'm so sorry about Kita, she's had a really tough life. You are a great guy for helping her. If you and moon were having actual body contact sex I'd be telling you that she is way too young but you two have been creative and imaginative and those are special qualities these days. Don't worry so much that you can't get the trance back. For something like that to work you've got to be totally focused and it sounds like you've got way too much other stuff going on right now. She'll understand that. Please don't get too wrapped up in your friendships and relationships so that if they end, you would ever do anything like cutting. People will come and go from your life. Learn from them and remember the good experiences. Try to let the bad memories go. Stay in school and go to college and make sure you keep some local friends that you can go out and do things with. You are a good writer, a good listener, you like to help people and you are creative. Someone with your mind can accomplish whatever he wants to.
  17. ratherbesailing
    All by myself - I may be reading too much into your posts but it sounds like things are already headed down hill with T already. Life is a lot different at college than high school and it is pretty common for people to grow apart and at the same time become exposed to so many more opportunities some of which will be the romantic type. I'm not really sure that waiting till after the holidays to break up with him is such a great idea. It isn't going to help him thinking he's got all of your heart if he doesn't. If you do it right after finals are over he'll have some time to recover over the holidays. If you do it when you return it will be a tough way for both of you to start the new term. It would probably be good for you to have the down time over the holidays and then you can see what happens with J when you return. I'm big on the rules of who can date someone else's ex but I've never heard of one where you can't date a guy because he's turned down a friend who asked him first. It would be nice of you to tell her right away if you do go out with J so she doesn't find out from someone else and so you can let her know that you care about her feelings. But I don't think he needs to be off limits considering that they never dated. Good luck.
  18. ratherbesailing
    OCD - I think you did the right thing and it is probably even better that it was so late and that you left only a friendly brief message. Don't get your hopes up too much, the next move is her's and will give you an idea as to what she's really thinking.
  19. ratherbesailing
    Sadscot - It sounds like you really need some down time to recover. Would it be possible for you to move back with your parents for a while? Nobody really wants to do that but I think it would be good for you not to have to worry about anything for at least a month or two until your head clears. I think you know that you really need to let R go. He deserves someone that wants him and only him. I know you don't mean to but I've got to imagine that you are tearing him apart emotionally. It seems pretty clear that you don't see him as someone you want to marry so keeping him hanging isn't doing you any good either, it just adds to your confusion. K has some serious problems and has proven this over and over and over again to you. You need to have no contact with him so that you can heal and both of you can move on. Try being alone for a while, get to know yourself before you jump into another relationship. You'll recover and be fine, it is just going to take some time.
  20. ratherbesailing
    Canadakid - If you have a corporate lawyer I'd talk to him first. My gut says confront her and tell her you are assigning someone else to the client as soon as you can after passing it by your attorney. Try to keep the confrontation only about business issues, not getting into the effects on her family or how you feel about it. As much as I hate cheating, I'd leave that whole aspect out of the conversation. Talk to the attorney about whether she should be fired to protect your own liability if the worst case senario does come to pass. I don't get the sense that you want to fire her but this might be the most prudent step for your business and you don't want to go down for her mis-judgement.
  21. ratherbesailing
    Thank god I've only had one stone, I passed it quickly but I won't forget that pain. My doctor wanted me to drink lots of water and he wanted me to put lemon juice in it. I was good about it for a while, I'd squeeze fresh lemons and keep in in a gallon jug of water in the fridge. I think my problem was that I didn't drink much in the evening and then I'd get up and run in the AM and not have much to drink until I got to the office. I was drinking plenty but he said I needed to spread it out and have plenty to drink in the PM. His advise was to keep the flow going. Good luck.
  22. ratherbesailing
    Wait till tomorrow.
  23. ratherbesailing
    Kenneth - I'm sure this differs drastically by state but we have kids and in Massachusetts we had to come up with a separation agreement. It was a "who's going to pay for what agreement" since we weren't living together. It included visitation. For us it was a step in the divorce processes but it could be used temporarily and you could just as easily get back together afterwards if you both agree to do so. Some people separate without a written agreement, not sure where that would leave you in your state where abandoment might be issue if you did get divorced. Divorce is really hard, especially with kids.
  24. ratherbesailing
    Kenneth - Why don't you ask her for one thing she would like to change about you and see if you can accept working on that for a couple of weeks. At the same time let her know one thing that you would like her to work on. It sounds like she's got a whole list of things that she thinks are your fault, but if you start simple with one issue, you may see a big change in attitude when she realizes that you are willing to make some compromises. Starting with one thing isn't as threatening as making a list.
  25. ratherbesailing
    Glitterandglitz - Just let him know that you love him but make it clear to him that you don't want to get married until you are both out of college and established with jobs. If he freaks out, it just shows how much he isn't ready for a mature relationship. You will probably need to reassure him that waiting doesn't have anything to do with doubting that he's the one, but I think if you stay consistant with the graduate and get a job deadline he'll have no choice but to accept your decision.
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