misery12

Well, you ask for advice, and we're all going to give you the same guidance. DON'T do it. Either way, you'll end up doing what you want to, and there's no way we can stop you. But we can enforce reality upon you, and hopefully you see the light, and the responsible choice in this situation. It seems to me that you want to be more mature.. and the best way to do that, is to BE more mature.. and the best way to do that, is to make MATURE choices, such as.. not fooling around with stoners/sex addicts. Same goes for 25 year olds.. This guy doesn't seem right no matter what age.. but 13 is too young none the less. I'd still be sitting here telling you not to have sex if this guy was Straight A - GOD. You're too young.. wait for the right guy, and you'll be happy you did. You can benefit from waiting..

Catfood, you left out a crucial detail. What's the reason of the break up?

I agree, don't you hate when you hear guys calling girls S***s and other names? Usually it's because girls follow through on actions like this. You are barely a teenager, this shouldn't even be on your mind, you should be enjoying your youth, and engage in adult matters, when you're an adult. That said, I want to ask everyone something. 13 is clearly too young to be having sex, but when do most people usually have sex for the first time? Grade 11, 12, University?

I agree completely, UNLESS... you feel that you can still be happy with or without her. THEN, go ahead ... call her, if it will ease your confusion. But, if you still have feelings for her, by all means.. DON"T contact her, it WILL set you back... and you'll be at "square 1 " once again.

I love Counter Strike.

Alright man, it seems that enough time has passed, and you have given her space, yet she seems to be the one that wants to contact you more. She's attempted to call you more times than you have, it seems. The thing is, if you're still into her 5 1/2 months later, that may come off as needy/desperate since that's almost half a year, and you're still thinking about her.. OR.. it may be the kick you two need to get the spark back with each other. I'd say, if you're emotionally stable, with, or without her.. then why not call her? You said yourself that you have a social life outside of her, so you can always fall back on that if she doesn't agree with what you want. My opinion - call her, see what she's been up to, how's life.. and maybe ask her out for a cup of coffee, so you both can catch up.. DON'T have any expectations from this. If she agrees to meet you, maybe that's all she wants, and not a relationship, so try not to look too into things, too quickly. If she agrees to meet you, and all goes well, suggest meeting up some other time. It's a win, win situation. If she wants you.. great, if she doesn't, at least you know and you can get on with your life once and for all. Good Luck.

My first "date" with my ex, was New Year's Eve, and we met up at a friends house, and had a great time to celebrate 2005 together. It was great, one of the best nights I can remember, but I've had many more.

Thanks Hope, and heartbroken.. I am taking that advice, and i'm going to keep my distance from here, and not contact her until she talks to me. Also, im gonna act aloof as to where i've been and what i'm up to "gone out with friends" "gone out". I know sooner or later she'll ask me what im doing, and who im going out with, and then i'll just say "what gives??". Thanks a lot. P.S- Her birthday is on the 30th, and im not having a surprise party for her anymore, because I feel she doesn't deserve one from me. So I think i'll just get her a card, nothing mushy, or anything.. just Happy Birthday. She'll realize that this is how im going to treat her.. like my ex.

Man that sounds like me sort of, I always come accross posts like this that relate to mine in a way. I would say, get on with your own life, and stop worrying WHEN and IF she will contact you.. Do your own thing, and if she does, then there ya go. But since you're just expecting to be friends, then what's the big deal? She has a new boyfriend now.. and since she was the dumper, she probably had an easier time with the break up, and that's why she moved on so quickly. You just have to stop worrying about her, because it seems like she's moved on, so why stress yourself out about an ancient topic?

That's the thing, she doesn't just do it to me. She does it to her closest friends as well.. makes fun of them because she thinks it's funny, and all of her friends are sort of scared of her.. just because she can make people hate you, they say. I know that if I walk, and her friends stand up for themselves too, she'll sooner or later realize she can't act like this.. and that's when I will start talking to her again. Is that stupid? I mean, Why talk to someone who treats you like crap, but if they're sorry, and are willing to change and give you the respect you deserve, why not talk to them, and maybe hook up if you feel you can do it and keep a healthy relationship?

The one thing I realized though guys.. is, I'm at the point where I can move on.. The thing is, my ex IS nice to me.. when we talk, but I know shes said stuff about me behind my back, and I know I don't need to prove she's wrong, I KNOW she's wrong for doing that to me. So where I stand is.. I would take this girl back, if she would be to start respecting me, as I do her. Because she's a nice, sweet girl.. but can have her moments which I got fed up with. Do you think space is the right thing to do?? If she talks to me.. should I just play it cool? She told her friend that if I was with another girl, she'd be upset. You know that feeling you get when you leave someone, but you still have those ties to them.. Yeah.. I have them too. I have my dignity, don't worry.. I know that if im not getting treated as I should.. I will walk easily, but what is the best way for her to start treating me with this respect? Best road to take, I should say...

We're pretty much in the same boat.. My girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago from a 5-6 month relationship, and in the beginning it was hard. But we started hanging out more, and more.. and then she started getting these mixed signals. I think that's why you're confused.. one day he says one thing, and then he randomly calls you up when it's good for him, and totally changes your life around, once again. My decision has been this.. I am not talking to my ex unless she talks to me.. and if she EVER wants to be with me again, she has to respect me, as I do her.. and if she doesn't, I will NOT hesistate to walk. Neither should you. I think you should talk to him, seriously.. and ask him if you get back together, is he going to be playing with your heart, and toy with your feelings as if they're a game. If he assures you he'll be loving/caring/respectful, the whole nine.. and you're willing to give him another shot, then go for it. BUT, know that if it doesn't work out.. you have the power, and the self-motivation to drop him, move on with your life, and be emotionally successful with another person. You do NOT need this man to be happy, and he may not be the one. Give it a shot, and if things don't work out.. then it's to your benefit because then you can go out there and find the guy who is 'the one'. Keep your head up, and your dignity in mind. Don't let him disrespect you in anyway, once he realizes that you are serious, and you're not taking any **** this time around, he'll start respecting you, since you respect yourself. Have confidence, and good things will shortly follow.. Good Luck.

I feel that while we're in a relationship like this, and also coming out of one... our tolerance for putting up with our partner's crap is so high, that we don't really notice how badly they've treated us until we've given them some room, and reality starts coming back to us.

Cynder, what are you talking about?

You've cheated yes. But you have the will to let yourself, and your wife that you are sorry. Believe me, she will be happy in the long run that you told her now, instead of another year. Get on with your life, and she'll get on with hers.

I understand, but it's not as if I am going from one friend to the other, and grieving about my sad story to them. They're my friends too, and in the same boat as me.. and I've never said anything hurtful about her to anyone.. I've only mentioned that she feels no guilt for anything.. which is sad. They agree, the people I talk to about this, are the people that have been by my side since day 1 with this girl, and know EXACTLY how im feeling, and can relate because she treats them the same way.

Show him he has to work for pleasure. Dress up and tease him until he craves your touch. He will scream.. put him in a chair and don't let him touch you.. Once he see's you've gained this confidence, and are proud to wear your skin, he should be more attracted to you, and go from there.

So I went to this party last night that my ex was at.. and I guess she might have made out with some guy in her friends bed.. but then he puked all over the bed, and the floor, and she ran out screaming. I was talking to one of my ex's friends, who I am friends with too, and she told me that my ex said I was "obsessed" with her.. It seems everytime I talk to a different friend, they have something to tell me that my ex said about me behind my back. You know what I say.. I said SCREW HER! I've treated her like a queen and all of her friends have said that to me. I was the perfect boyfriend and this girl took me and my generousity for granted. She has NO feelings what so ever, and she treats mostly all of her friends like dirt a lot of the times. I've talked to 2 of her friends so far, and both of them agree that she treats them like crap, but when their parents are involved, she's a nice little angel, and is fake, and puts on this nice act. We've ALL notice she's changed from the actual nice girl she once was.. and we're ALL tired of her bull****. The sad thing was, I was planning on having a surprise party for her on the 30th.. because nobody else was having her a party (go figure).. and now she sends me these mixed signals (going to my cottage with me, and flirting, and then going to a party and being all over this other guy). Last night, I ignored her, and barely talked to her.. everyone at the party looked up to me and my buddies because we're older than them, and they would follow us around and hang out in our group. It was really sad seeing all these young kids drinking, and passing out and puking everywheres, so me and my buddies just left at like 10:30.. I am NOT talking to her.. if she talks to me.. I am going to say... don't talk to me. If she says why.. im going to let her know I know everything she's said about me behind my back, that she's an inconsiderate heart player.. and feels no guilt/no remorse for any of her insincere actions she does to me, and her friends. I cannot wait to tell her that she's cancelled her own surprise party.. it's sad becasue my mom loves her, but I guess it's just her act she plays.. but when she's with her "friends" she talks about me behind my back.. despite the good times we've had, and how comfortable me and my family mad her feel whenever she spent time with us. Even her sister mentioned that her heart is smaller than anyone else's and im believing it now. Her friends are starting to get a backbone and are going to stand up to her.. (they're choice). They're tired of the way she treats them.. and how much she's changed. I hate how she talks bad about me behind my back, and when I confront her she denies it, because she's spineless.. Will she ever be greatful for the things she receives?? Doesn't she know that life is give and take. She expects to get away with acting like a ***** to everyone, and ending up with friends... in this case.. she's losing one. I'll make sure she regrets her actions... maybe one day she'll snap out of this trance, and finally make a splint for her broken ego. She told me she wanted to be friends.... treat me like one then. There's my 2 cents.. anyone that's helped me through this.. here's the conclusion.. I told you I would keep my dignity, it would just take time.. Im not going to let some mid teen girl break me.. she's nothing to me right now.. and she will never be unless she changes for the best..

Hope, please read my most previous post. Everything that you've questioned is answered there, as I agree with you, I just don't think you saw it, before you posted here. Thanks though.

Maybe a mysterious personality? A guy that comes off as aloof, and only lets a few things out. Stays casual, but charming. Smart... and knows what he's talking about. I am sure that if you make a good first impression on a woman, using some preferred tactics, and then bringing in a little mystery, she'd be writing her number on your hand.

Why would she think I like her? I don't understand that part. I haven't talked to her since monday. But tonight, I just checked in with her, see how she was doing, and we ended up talking for an hour and half, and she was unusually open, and the whole conversation was fun. In the end, she went to bed and told me to have a good time tomorrow at my soccer BBQ. This is the thing.. I know this girl, probably better than anyone else, besides her family, and her single best friend. I KNOW that when she said about making out with some guy, she only said it because she was with her friends, and knew they wouldn't really care. I put myself into that situation, if I was hanging out with 5 of my friends, I wouldn't really watch what I said.. because I know none of them would judge me for it. She is a smart girl, has done some stupid things, but is smart. She knows that if she did do something like that.. (make out with a random guy) MANY people would look down on her. Including friends, her sister (who really likes me) me.. ( I wouldn't show it bothered me though).. and she knows she'd feel so much guilt that I don't think she would do it. To back up my statement, when I had a party about a month ago, she got pretty drunk and felt sort of sick so she just sat on the couch, and I stayed with her so she was okay.. The next morning she called me and asked how things were, and was worried about what my older sister, and her friends thought of her.. because she felt stupid. Now.. if she worries this much about being drunk and sitting around feeling woozy.. think how stupid she would feel making out with someone. Also, I know i've said things to my friends that I actually didn't mean, and if I had the chance, I would take back.. we all do it. Don't deny it. The only difference is, I found out about this one. I mean, Yes.. of course she has the potential to make out with some guy.. but if she does, I don't want her anyways. The last time we hung out together was 2 weeks ago at my cottage, and nothing's been said/done to make her think I might like her. With all of that said.. I am her ex-boyfriend, she is single, and can do what she wants. So why even mention me, when the topic of making out with someone comes up?? lady00, you are right, if she doesn't like me.. strategizing will NOT work, but right now.. there's no strategy needed. I'll live my life, she can live hers... things will fall as they may.

If he's causing you to post on here, in misery.. then why do you really want him in your life. What benefit does he bring? You haven't talked to him in quite a long time.. why not just block whatever contact he can still make with you, and get on with your life?

I'd say, ask him what he wants. Say that he's confusing you with his mixed signals, by calling you 6 times, but then saying he has a girlfriend who he loves. Let him know that you aren't going to wait around, do your own thing.. don't wait for him. If he comes around, great, if he doesn't.. fine. Either way, do what you want, and think of him coming around, as .. a benefit to your life.

He realizes what he has lost, and wants it back. It's not his choice, he ended it, his fault. Do what's best for you. IF you want to get over him, keep doing no contact, and maybe block his number, and his account, so it's that much easier.

Anal??