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misery12

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  1. misery12
    Has she ever given you actual FACTS to be jealous.. ie: has she cheated on you before, have you heard rumours of her kissing another guy, has she ever snuck out, or lied to you abot where she's been. If no... you have NOTHING.. NOTHING.. to worry about. This girl has told you many times over and over that shes loves you, and only you.. and you cannot seem to take this in. It's soo easy.. it's right there for you to take, and hold onto.. and you're letting jealousy steal that from you. you have nothing to be jealous about.. Face it, you cannot keep one person from talking to anyone.. that's against their rights.. she has the RIGHT to talk to whoever she wants, look at whoever she wants, whenever she wants.. and if you cannot realize this harsh bit of reality, you are just plain not ready for a relationship with this girl.. or maybe anyone else for a while. When you feel jealous, swallow your pride and tell her you're happy for her.. you'll feel better later on.. believe me. Just think if you were in her position, would you want to have to double think all of your everyday actions to suit your partners nagging needs? would you want somebody complaining everyday to you .. if you push her, she'll pull away.. as she's done. Let this be a big sign man.. you have nothing to worry about with her. Tell her that you feel that you cannot go on without her, and the only way you'll get past this, is to be with her. Tell her that you are willing to put all your time/energy into this relationship until it suits both your needs. It's not just about you, it has to be 50/50.. meet half way.. you obviously talk to girls in the run of your day.. that doesn't mean you want to tear their clothes off and sleep with them.. and even if you did want to.. you wouldn't, I know you wouldn't.. because you love her, and she loves you. Get it?
  2. misery12
    Thanks guys.. Hope, I know it is tough.. I do have feelings for her, and tonight at my sister's graduation I saw her mom, and her sister.. and they both came up to me and said hello. Sometimes I wonder how she could treat me like this, because when she's over, she's so nice to my parents, and she's so comfortable here, and sometimes it seems that she takes me, and what we have/had for granted. I know I don't have any right to tell her anything, that's why I swallowed my insecurities, and told her to have a fun night. The thing is, I don't want to be sitting home saturday, waiting for her to make up her mind.. Heloladies... I see where you're coming from, and I see why you think that, but from my point of view it seems a little different. She is a social girl, and likes hanging out with her friends and having a good time. I find myself asking why she isn't more like her sister, (who is more into staying home some nights, with her boyfriend.. and a VERY nice person.) But I cannot expect her and her sister to be twins, they're 2 different people. Summer is just starting, and maybe she just wants to go out and have fun... and I am not going to stop her. We will have our chance to work on things.. and believe me, I have dignity, and self-respect and if I personally think that she's taking advantage of me, I will step in, and tell her. I think that it's worth one more attempt, I know what I have to do.. and im going to try it out. If I fail, then at least I will see her true colors. But, I think if I play my cards right, and don't be overly protective or insecure about our relationship, things may work out. Tonight when I got home, I had a message waiting from her saying "$10 tomorrow please =) " because we have our graduation tomorrow, and I'll see her. (I owe her that money). We'll see how things work, and i'll keep you all informed.
  3. misery12
    I also said "haha ... just dont do anything stupid" and she just said "?", so I said "what" and her reply was "oh nevermind" I told her to have a good time.. I also just fear that if she does do something, she will say, "well I was drunk".. or I wont find out at all.. and I will always wonder if she did something that night or not. because I said "who's going" and she labeled off at least 10 different guys/girls.
  4. misery12
    Okay, she dumped me 3 weeks ago.. we've been staying close ever since. Last night she found out from a mutual friend that I was still interested in her, and that I was willing ot take things slow, if she was wiling to give us another shot. she said she will see how saturday goes, and will think about getting back together. Anways, I didn't talk to her all day, so when she came on, I sparked up a convo with her, and about 2 messages in.. she said "brb I have to ask my mom if I can spend the night at steve's house friday night".(steve is having a party, and "everyone" is going in their grade, and their pitching tents/drinking". I tried to keep the convo up beat, and tried to make it look as if I didn't care and said "haha ok". when she returned, she said her mom was thinking.. and then I said "wont your mom care if you spend the night with boys in a tent, ahha" and she said "haha, I just wont tell her, if we do". and this ripped my heart out.. then she said "we need more liquor". we were planning on hanging out saturday, because my pool is ready, and we were gonna swim, and hang out. she then said she had to go, so i asked if she still was up for saturday, and she said "I dunno, maybe", and then she had to go. I don't know!!! She told my friend that she was gonna see how saturday went, and would think about giving us another shot.. and now she's planning on staying the night at the party.. I feel left out/jealous/insecure.. used.. I also found it weird that she said "I have to go ask mom if I can spend the night, etc..." why wouldn't she just said "be right back"... does she want to see how I would react to it? What do I do??
  5. misery12
    How old are you guys, first of all?
  6. misery12
    You're 15, and going into college?
  7. misery12
    I think you should tell your parents, that if they're not going to support you, and be discrimitive, and racist against this un-deserving man, then you don't want to live with them anyways. This should show them how stupid/immature they're acting, and hopefully will reconsider.
  8. misery12
    Of course it's possible. For instance, I am in the process of getting back together with my ex right now, but what i've realized is that you BOTH have to make some changes, or when you get back together, it will just fall apart again. Think about the reason why you broke up.. Try and fix that. Think about the things she said you would never be able to do.. Work on those.. Get fit, work out.. try to cover all your flaws and come off as irresistible to her. At least set yourself up for another shot.
  9. misery12
    Haha. The thing that I would do.. is go in, get 2 books..one being the one you want, and the other being something along the lines of "How to ask out the Beautiful Cashier" or something like that. (as a joke of course) Put this book on the counter and stare at her smiling, she will clearly say something.. and just go from there, pick that book up, laugh and give her the real one.. and finish off by saying "so when does your secret lover get to take you out in public?" or something along those lines. Just a suggestion! Good Luck!
  10. misery12
    Thanks Hope, DN, annie, and all the others that have helped through all this. I will keep you all posted on how things are going. Thanks again!
  11. misery12
    I am ready.. I am prepared. If she's willing to give me another shot.. I AM willing to be 110% into changing my past ways. I just used to find myself wondering "why did she do that, why'd she say that" even when it didn't mean anything in the end, and I would stress about it.. and would p*ss her off.. which is understandable.. I do have to relax, and I do feel A LOT more laid back now. I am completley ready to committ to her.. Another thing.. Friday night she is going to a party/bondfire , and she said she may be drinking.. and I am just thinking "please don't do something stupid.. " because I don't want her to mess things up. But then I think, if she did make out with some guy, or something stupid, I wouldnt want to be with someone like that anyways. The other thing was that I don't want her to go to the party and suddenly fall for another guy, or realize some guy is cute.. and then blow me off.. Then again, I think this is my insecurities.. and so I swallowed it.. and I do feel better.. I have to trust her.. and once I do trust her, and she doesn't break it.. then we have something. SO I told her to go, and have a fun night. Plus I may be going to a party of my own that my semi close friend is having.. and we're hanging out the next day anywyas.. so no worries.
  12. misery12
    Hey all, I am just posting here.. to let you all know what's going on.. As you all probably know my ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago.. and today I was planning on talking to her about getting back together.. but she wasn't home, and I went and watched her soccer game with a buddy of mine. Anyways, a mutual friend(female) of my ex and mine.. have been helping me out, and we have been talking about me and my ex for a few days, she was just helping me through it.. (friend and ex are on same soccer team). Anyways, today I guess my ex tried to find out what I have been saying about her.. and the friend didn't tell her anything.. and she said "even if he did say something, it would be good" and my ex replied "YES!!". Now tonight, this friend was talking to my ex on the phone.. and she told my ex "he loves spending time with you, and thinks you two are great for each other, is he said he was willing to go as slow as you need if you were willing to give it another shot". She isn't talking for us.. she was just tellin my ex what we chatted about for the past few days. ANYWAYS - i guess my ex replied to the friend saying she will see how saturday goes.. and she will think about giving me another chance. (me, ex, friend, and friends boyfriend are coming over to swim and hang out saturday). My ex also told my friend how she didn't like it when we were going out.. that I would always ask her how she was feeling about the relationship, because she found it annoying. I feel I have changed this way, because I was just insecure.. and my insecurities are which cost me the relationship, I have now realized that I cannot worry, until she gives me a REAL reason to worry.. not something stupid/juvenial. so.. I think on saturday I will just act normal, and fun to be around.. as if we were just starting to go out for the first time.. let her see what she's been missing.. How's this all sound?
  13. misery12
    kyle, you know why she said wow.. don't be fishing for compliments young buck,
  14. misery12
    If I went down on her priority list, how come she hangs out with me more than she does her friends? In the past 3 weeks we've hung out about 10 times or so.. all times having a great time. My ex and I have a mutual female friend, who knows what my ex is feeling about us. But she promised my ex she wouldn't tell me. This friend, who is very reliable.. thinks that I should just play it cool, and invite my ex over for a movie on the weekend or something, and maybe talk to her there.. Seriously though, if she doesn't care about me... and just wants to be my friend, why doesn't she treat me as a friend? why does she give me so much attention? Believe me, I have been through all the feelings.. ups and downs, in the past 2 months it's been nothing but a roller coaster for me.. I am at the point where I deserve to let some things off my chest, and I want her opinion on it.
  15. misery12
    Well, it's not lying.. it's more of a broken promise.. If she loves you, she should understand that.. and it seems she's just frusturated because she was probably really excited, and now she has to wait even longer.
  16. misery12
    What you have to realize is that she's just a human being like you are. What makes her so much more special.. her hair? Hah! Do not warship another human... she has fears, hates, loves, the same as you do.. she's no god.. do not see her as one..
  17. misery12
    I was posting my situation privately for a while, but I feel it should go public in order to get others opinions as well. (thanks to those who helped already) Anyways, my ex and I have been apart for about 3 weeks now, and in this time.. we have been hanging out about every second day, on average.. and we talk everyday on IM, and sometimes she tells me to call her. Anyways, I am at the point where I feel I need to address her, and let her know how I feel. I want to get back with her, because I think we're a great match, and I love spending time with her, and I want her to know that if she is willing to give us another shot, im willing to go as slowly as she needs. Today, I started talking to her on IM, and she said she was on the phone so I told her to tell me shes off, and she said "ok why", and I replied "because I wanna talk 8) " and then shortly after that, she logged off MSN, but stayed online on ICQ. About 10 minutes passed and she set her away message to "Gone to ____'s house, then to soccer". I was in awe.. because I thought she was gonna tell me when she was done, but maybe she just had to go quickly? I don't know. Maybe she knew I was going to ask her something about us.. and she wasn't ready. She had to expect I would ask sometime though..we hang out more now, than we did when we went out... she was over at my house yesterday! Do you think I should wait for her to talk to me to ask her.. or should I try to call her tomorrow when she gets home from her friends house? P.S - She has a soccer game tongiht, and I was planning on going with my friend, do you think it's still okay to go, after this?
  18. misery12
    It's not your problem that he cannot make up his mind.. If you like this new guy, go out with him.. have fun with him. Unless you like your ex, then try to take things slow with him, it's not the hardest situation.
  19. misery12
    Well, I think I am going to call her this afternoon, and finally tell her what's been on my chest. It's been about a month now, since we broke up, and I haven't told her anything about what im feeling, nor have we talked about the relationship. We hang out like every second day now, and we call.. and talk everynight on IM. If she just wanted me as a friend, I think she'd treat me the same as her other guy friends.. which she doesn't. I am going to call her, and tell her that I love spending time with her, and I will move as slow as she wants, if she's willing to give it another shot. I feel like I've been getting mixed signals.. we broke up, but we're spending more time together than ever!
  20. misery12
    Yeah, this is pretty tough, and I know how frusturating it can be not knowing what's going on in their head.. isn't it? It seems though, that she has initiated contact again, and that it's because she's interested in bringing you back into her life. I find it strange that she suddenly started IM you everyday.. and her being the one to always initiate it. I have been broken up with my ex for about 3 weeks now, but we're closer than ever, and we still talk on the phone, hang out a few times a week, and talk everynight on IM. You'll proabbly get to the point where you'll realize that she's treating you more than a friend, compared to the way she treats her other guy friends. Once this is obvious, you should ask her what she wants with you.. don't be harsh, and be understanding.. just ask what she wants with you.. and judging by her answer, you'll know. Just give it time, hang out with her a few more times.. but continue on to be a little shut out.. don't avoid her completely, or blow her off a lot..and sooner or later, it will be safe to ask what's up.
  21. misery12
    Just let it slide man.. as you said, he's your best friend.. so it shouldn't be too awkward.. if anyone, it should be him feeling a little embarrassed. So, he may not even say anything to either of you.. because he knows that you two are both adults, and have been committed for over a year, and that you're in love.. so it's not like you did anything wrong..at all. Just play it cool, if he says anything, just joke about it, it's nothing big.
  22. misery12
    I agree with rnorth, this is being taken way too far for the situation, it's not that big of an issue. Just relax and try and approach/handle things more calmly, and easily.
  23. misery12
    It's funny, because I went through those feelings, but right now me and my ex are closer than ever, so I am not at such a high level as you are, but I can still relate. Just picture where you'll be in 5-10 years, married with kids.. if you're everything you say you are.. you won't have trouble finding a guy, and judging by the way you talk, you clearly put 110% into your men.. which is good. As for right now.. there's nothing anyone can say to you anymore, it's all about finding your inner strength, which you'll probably stumble upon some random day, and find this a lot easier to get past. To help, try throwing/burning everything that he gave, or you shared together.. This will delete him from your life, in a physical way, and in time he will be gone emotionally. Just give yourself time to heal, and keep busy with fun things to do to distract you. Soon you'll find a guy, and he'll help you forget about this, and sooner or later things will pass.. there's nothing that can change things overnight, and you have to realize that... give it time, and you'll be fine.
  24. misery12
    I think a lot of the time, when people are in this type of situation, they send that last message, email, or the last phone call, because they want the person that hurt them, to hurt as well. It seems that in your last email you wrote, you wanted to get through to him, so you said those things.. and then you probably realized that he doesn't care no matter what you say, so that's what got you frusturated. You probably feel powerless now, because you feel that as a result of the break up, you're the only one feeling any pain towards it. Which isn't fair in my opinion. I've been in this position before, not exactly, but sort of.. and it's horrible, you know that there's not much you can do .. and the only real way to get passed, is NC from now on.. Just drop him.. YOU know he isn't worth your time now... but that doesn't mean you have to prove it to him.. If he has any clue.. he'll realize it on his own. Good luck.
  25. misery12
    Why worry about something you cannot fix? Be proud.
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