BellaDonna

May I ask, what makes you stay in this relationship?

Me too. However seeing that this relationship is 6 years, the original poster may not leave so fast. That's why I wanted to offer another perspective. I see every situation as having 2 solutions: 1.) Leave immediately 2.)Insist on some serious changes, and if they don't happen, leave I myself would choose #1 because I have little patience and a very low tolerance for disrespect. (The Italian in me) -Being told a dog is more important than you is a pretty serious offense in my book. However #1 is not always the option that the original poster is open to, and sometimes it's not realistic. mlchildr, I'd be interested in hearing if he has a history of making horrible comments like that to you, and also what you think you are going to do in the situation. Are there any other conflicts in the relationship? My hunch is that he must say rude things often if he has said something that rude to you about the dogs. BellaDonna

His behavior toward you is very rude. If someone said that to be I would be gone. Does he have a history of saying insensitive things over your 6 year relationship? Honestly, I would never get rid of a pet upon the request of a guy- I too love my pets- however he should at least try to make a compromise. The way you describe the dogs' behavior, it sounds like they have a lot of pent up energy. Boxers require a lot of activity. Is he taking good care of them? Is he making sure that they get enough exercise and mental stimulation, or are they just possessions of his that he likes to have for status? Running around outside in the same yard is not enough- they need a change of scenery and to be walked. I notice a lot of people like to own big dogs to be "tough", but they rarely care for them right. I feel bad for the dogs in the situation. I can assure you his dogs are not happy otherwise they would not be tearing the house apart like they are. It's a sign of stress. They need exercise and structure- potentially obedience school. He should have not gotten that other dog without discussing it with you first since you own the house together. It sounded like he could barely care for the first one he had. He needs to be given an ultimatum. BellaDonna

KatieBaby, do you do a breast self-exam at home once a month? It's definitely something you should get in the habit of- you may have been able to catch this lump much earlier on your own. There are still many things it could be. Try to relax until you get answers from further tests. BellaDonna

Oh sorry, I thought for some reason it was underneath, more near the bottom of your elbow. Well either way, you strained/sprained something and you need to take it easy. It's not good to over-exert yourself. You will get better results if you listen to your body and gradually work up to more weight and more reps. BellaDonna

You really strained your triceps. I think you should talk to a personal trainer to make sure you are doing the exercises properly. If you are sore- give the area time to rest before you work out again. There's an herb called "Arnica" which comes in a cream or gel that really does wonders for sore muscles. A hot bath followed by stretching should also help. Take it easy. Don't re-injure yourself. Be sure to know exactly what you should be doing and how to workout safely before you attempt it again. BellaDonna

Oh gosh.... I guess I will have this to look forward to in a couple of years. Yes, definitely. Potty training is a whole other ball game if there is another child still in diapers in the house. My sister was being potty trained when my brother was born, and she messed in her pants much longer than biologically required because she still wanted to be "the baby". Sometimes she would even pull her pants down and pee on the rug to get my parent's attention (even if it was negative attention) In case you're wondering, yes she is still a brat today.... 20 years later. lol Try to make potty training a "cool" activity that adults do, maybe your son will view it as special time where his 1 year-old sibling cannot be involved and that will make him feel happy. Get him to say "bye bye" to whatever he flushes so he will know the place for it is NOT the walls..... BellaDonna

Hi there. I think they key is to focus on activities that don't involve penetration such as oral sex, petting, kissing, cuddeling, massage. Sometimes if you're not in the mood, you can fake it until you make it. This will allow you to be intimate together, but not make you feel pressured. Don't attempt sex if it is still painful because it will only stall your progess. Just a random question: Do you trust him? Are you afriad that he might try to insert his finger(s)? I'm just wondering if that could be one of the reasons why you are reluctant to have oral sex or let him be near that area at all. BellaDonna

As I had mentioned in the PM's, I think a lot of this has to do with maturity. He's not going about this in a very polite way. You might feel differently if he was appreciative and reciprocal about it, instead of just expecting it. If I were you, I would not do it every time he asked. He needs to learn self-control. If you try talking to him over and over and he continues to act this way, then maybe you need to make the message clearer that you are not satisified sexually. You might have to let him know in a way that he can understand. If it were me, I'd get a sex toy (preferably a large intimidating one) and leave it out on the nightstand where he can see it. If you give him oral sex and then he rejects you and falls asleep- use your toy right there when he's attempting to fall asleep. (Either it will a.) send a strong message, or b.) turn him on enough to want to pleasure you) BellaDonna

Welcome to Freud's fun-filled "Anal Stage" where pooping is the most important thing in the world and doubles as finger paint... This is pretty much the only thing that works. This behavior is normal (yucky, I know... but normal) If your son likes to get messy why not let him use a nice big poster board and some non-toxic finger paints.... or frosting. That might help to get the urge to squish and smudge things out of his system. Some parents are even having "Messy Parties" for their kids link removed BellaDonna

From what you described, I think it's best to distance yourself from this person. He sounds a little bit impulsive and emotionally unstable. A friend of mine was stalekd by one of her male friends, and his behavior was very similar to this guy's. That statement seems pushy and possessive. It does not sound like a healthy friendship. BellaDonna

I've seen various pictures of you since you've been a member here and you are FAR from being overwight in any way, shape, or form. You look great. I understand your commitment to fitness in order to achieve a healthy body and mind- but please don't do it because you are afraid of being "chubby". You have nothing to worry about. Trust me, BellaDonna

That is very understandable. One positive thing I noticed is that you have said here that you will never cheat again, and your wife seems very remorseful and it seems she will not do it again either. The way you described all of the legal things she promised and signed, it seems that she is really trying to prove her commitment to your marriage. So at least both of you appear to have learned from your past mistakes. Were your affairs around the same time? BellaDonna

Hi there Lady Bugg. Will you be starting Body For Life again? I love that program. I really worked for me. If you can stick with it for the whole 12 weeeks, you will be amazed at the results. When I did BFL, the founder Bill Philips had not sold his soul to the supplement companies yet- so he was not pushing supplements like he does now. You really don't need them to do the program. The only supplement I used was a whey protein shake because I did not like enough foods (i.e. eggwhites , cottage cheese...yuck ) BellaDonna

Hi there and welcome to enotalone. Before I talk about your issue, I just want to ask that you please use more respectful language when making future posts on enotalone. Vulgarities are against the forum rules and are not allowed. I realize that you are very angry and emotional about this difficult issue, but please try to make your point without using vulgarities. Now on to your issue: I would suggest that if this marriage is ever to get on track, you both will have to be 100% honest with one another. I think you both should try ot get into marriage counseling and get everything about BOTH affairs out on the table. You both made the same mistake. Now you both must get to the core of the matter and answer the hard questions, like "why". If you both can forgive, that is the first step. Forgetting is a lot harder, but I assure you, That will not help at all. Although revenge may seem satisfying at first, it will just make it harder for you 2 to put this behind you. I think your best bet is to focus on one another - your marriage-and your family and try to move on. Each day that you hold on to anger, it will weigh down on you more and more. I see marriage counseling as a must in this situation. I think you also have to be willing to be honest about your own behavior and your affiar for the 2 of you to ever make progress. You did not leave your wife over her affiar, so she will probably not leave you either if she knew about it. I think in a strange way, if you deal with this properly it may bring you both closer together and you both can learn a lot. BellaDonna

It is excellent that you are proactive about your health and that you get checked out regularly. As others have mentioned, breast cancer is very rare at your age. It's probably nothing. But your doctor is being thorough, which is good. Just so you know, my grandmother who is in her 80's has had this happen to her many times since young adulthood and each time the lumo(s) turn out to be nothing cancerous. Hang in there, and as hard as it is, try to relax. I'm sure your tests will come out with favorable results, BellaDonna

That's great news.

I think they remember the "good times" , see things through rose-colored glasses, or are simply in denial that a person they had put so much hope into could treat them so badly. In the case of victims of abuse, it might be Stockolm Syndrome at work. Emotions are not something that can be rationalized away. People just need to feel them, and to let grief take it's course before they can heal. BellaDonna

When I started going- I went 3 times a week for a few weeks, then once I made some improvement, I went once a week. However, if your budget does not allow it, then I think you should switch to someone who is less pushy. Remember, getting adjusted some of the time is better than not getting adjusted at all. You do what you can fit into your lifestyle. My Chiropractor has been pushy with me a few times over the years, and I had to gently put him in his place a few times. Most chiros believe in what they do very passionately. I agree with a lot of their philosophy, but I take it with a grain of salt, and I certainly don't let them tell me what I "have" to do. Sometimes they have a "holier than thou" attitude. My chiropractor has gotten dogmatic with me about my pregnancy (his wife gave birth at home with no drugs and a midwife) So he tries to push that on me but I just ignore him whenever he gets on the topic. I'm not telling him that I'm having an elective c-section because he'll go into labor himself and lecture me. So I give him limited information. I believe his job is to take care of my spine and he can mind his business when it comes to anything else. My chiropractor has gotten rid of my migraines though and has taken good care of me - however I call all of the shots. If this chiropractor you're seeing is too pushy and it makes you feel uneasy, go to someone else. There are many of them out there and you can find one who will better suit your needs and goals. BellaDonna

As others have mentioned most cafes have other options available like water, soda, juices. I'm sure you will be able to find something else to drink. BellaDonna

Also, was there a chance you could have been pregnant?

It sounds like normal clotting that some women experience if they tend to have heavy periods. link removed Is this the first time this has happened to you? This is something that you should definitely bring up with your doctor. BellaDonna

"Living well is the best revenge"

As Honey Pumpkin mentioned, this sounds similar to Trichotillomania link removed It does sound like this is a way for you to release anxiety. Although it has always been present in you since childhood, stressful times probably bring it out even more. Can you put your hair back in a bun so you do not have access to it? What about carrying arund one of those stress balls and squeezing it instead when you get the urge? If it really starts to become a major problem for you, visit your campus counseling center and talk about it. With Trichotillomania, many people have found relief through anti-anxiety medication, if nothing else worked, BellaDonna

Hi there. Have you ever talked to him about how you feel about this? Have you come right out and asked him to return the favor? If so, what did he say? BellaDonna