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emma34

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Everything posted by emma34

  1. emma34
    i agree with tiger lillies. i also write in my journal everyday, and a lot of the stuf i say is just random... and did u read the whole thing? with my ex, if he had ever read my journal he probably would have broken up with me. I wrote bout all the things that bothree me about him, etc. I wrote nice things too, but it would depend on what a person sees. Don't overanaylze the journal thing...its likely nothing. But if you are having serious doubts.. maybe it's time to confront it now.
  2. emma34
    You've said he's been with men and women... so I take it you have some sort of suspicision of his sexuality. Tell him you are interested in experimenting, maybe his reaction wil be different?
  3. emma34
    oh please... this guy is totally messing with you. if you don't like him anymore, leave it at that. but if you like him, and he knows this, he would ask you out (or whatever). Leave it as a fun flirtation for now. That's likely what he wants anyway.
  4. emma34
    This is just my personal opinion. I think you need to give your girlfriend a little more trust, and space to make her own decisions. By making too much out of it, it may push her towards this other guy. Although I don't think you should just sit back and watch this guy flirt with her, etc. But the thing is...it is her decision, because no matter what you say, or how much it hurts or annoys you, she is ultimately in control of the sitatuion. Let her know that it bugs you, and you shouldn't have a reason, that if she truly cared for you, she would be able to do this one thing (which is to stay away from him). But don't contine to do this over and over...do it once. If she fights it so much, and refuses to see what is relly going on with this guy, let her be. Likely, this guy really doesn't mean that much harm, and just likes her...but then again there is the chance that he is really trying to put the moves on her. In that case, it is again up to her what happens. Beware of this, because I find long-distance relationship often hault because of a replacement of affection. Basically - what i'm trying to say in all of this is to not let it bother you too much, let her know how you feel (nicely), and to understand that because you are so far apart, trust is the number one most important issue is your relationshipp... you need it, so give her that. Hope I helped somewhat.
  5. emma34
    1) every day...sometimes more, sometimes less. 2) well my boyfriend and i broke up recently, so rarely. but when we were still going out, 3-4 times a week 3) because i love it, it feels amazing, it relieves all stress, and (when my boyfriend and i were still together) it was something we could do together that made us feel connected.
  6. emma34
    Healing after a break up can take a really long time, and I am constantly asking myself why I would put myself back into the situation to get close to my ex. Obviously, your ex is craving some sort of affection, whether it be from you or not. It depends on the person very much on whether ex's can be friends at all. Does it seem realisitic that you two could become just friends? If your going to go out for drinks with her, maybe you two should just lay down some friend rules or something. It doesn't have to be such a serious issue, but it's probably easier for both of you to have it out there...and then you can see how she is feeling right now. If she still has feelings for you, then you really need to back away, or get back together.
  7. emma34

    how do i no

    emma34 replied to amanda09's topic in Dating Advice

    in love: well i have been in love once with my ex-boyfriend of 2.5 years. I have to say, it is the most beautiful thing in the world. It's being completely comfortable with someone, it's being able to share your life with them... You'll know when it happens. The words just come running out when it happens, and you'll wanna say it over over... that's what i think anyway.
  8. emma34
    Likely because they don't know HOW to act in the situation. For some people it's easy to just be friendly and keep and ex as a polite aquaintance but mainly people don't know how to deal with the ex...in this case i believe she is probably waiting for you to say something that will start her emotions. i don't know what. Sounds like me. But in any case I wouldn't let it bother you too much. If she has something she really needs to say she will say it.
  9. emma34
    after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years I have gone on my first date. Conversation, etc. went well, but I did not really feel a connection between us, although I like himv very much. I am scared that I will not be able to accept anyone else because I am so used to being so comfortable with someone, and having that connection. Should I end this short relationship b/c i don't feel this already? Or should I give it a chance - and just think it is my ex in the back of my mind that is holding me down? I know I am not ready for a relationship yet, but I still want to try these things out.
  10. emma34
    my advice is to ignore the flirting. I stand by 'if they wanted you back to they would tell you'. If they are flirting with you, to me, that seems like they are using you for the affection they crave even after the break up. Do you think that's possible?
  11. emma34
    good for you.. hehe.
  12. emma34
    how long have you been broken up? might as well post the e-mail... could mean a number of things. who broke up with who?
  13. emma34
    8) Realize that you can't just stop loving someone. Just because they broke up with you, doesn't mean they can't be feeling just as much pain. remember - they purposely put someone whom they care very deeply about in a lot of pain... that hurts (guilt)
  14. emma34
    Here is my opinion to all of the people who have been dumped. As I have been the dumper, I haev found this extremely frustrting the way my ex acts. 1) The dumpee must realize, that if they wanted you back, they would tell you. Do not take little things, like being nice, as a sign they want you back. 2) The dumper often feels guilty and selfish for breaking up with someone. thereforeeee another reaosn they may be nice to you. 3) Do not punish yourself, or focus on your faults. They dumped you because they were the first one to realize you weren't right for eachother. You would have eventually figured it out. 4) Don't make it harder on yourself by pleading for a 'friendship' relationship you know you could never handle. 5) Do not involve friends in trying to get the person back (hense my ex asked my best friend to convince me to go back out with him for a hundred dollars...) 6) There is a time and place to cry and grieve. Don't act pathetic. Although you may be in alot of pain, share that with your friends, etc. don't bother letting them know how much pain you are in long after the break up. 7) Know that if they broke up with you because of a something serious in your life, don't change it to get them back, change it for you. That's all I can think of right now... any thoughts?
  15. emma34
    you did the right thing. what ive learned very much from breaking up, is that exes need to stay exes. If you want to talk to him - then talk to him. But don't feel the need to be 'polite' to him, he doesn't deserve it.
  16. emma34
    ..about the whole dream thing. dreams can make you think crazy things. for example...i haadn't talked to my ex is 3 weeks, and then i had a dream about him and for some reason i was completely in lust with him again. After a few days, that went away.
  17. emma34
    oh dear... first of all, don't have sex until you get on the pill. then still use a condom... NO DOUBT!!!
  18. emma34
    i agree. give her a chance. altho it may not seem like it right now she obviously cares for you very much. she will probably have a good reason to tell you if you ask what made her do it with him and not you.
  19. emma34
    i broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years a month ago. I'm ready to start dating again, not seriouly, but I wanna get out on the dating scene. My ex and I talk, but only about once a week. I KNOW that there is no way he would start dating someone so soon... and to me it seems to him the longer I hurt, the better he feels. I feel guilty about the break up , but Iknow i did it for good reasons. Should I even bother worrying about my ex and start dating?
  20. emma34
    I don't think you should have to tell him. You can if you want to - but I don't think you should feel the need to. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years and haev recently started dating someone, but not seriously yet. I am not even considering telling my ex, whom I still talk to, but rarely. Your ex should realize that you are over by now. How would you feel if we was going out with someone new, and felt the need to tell you? do you think you would want to know? Tell him on a need-to-know basis. Hope i helpdd.
  21. emma34
    i broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years about a month ago b/c he has become a pathological liar. he was a wonderful person, but he couldn't stop and he was putting me through a lot of pain so I ended it between us. I feel very selfish b/c while I have been trying to heal, going out with friends, busying myself in work, etc. he is still in immense pain. I feel guilty. I am out having fun, and then I get home, and he is still there for me. He calls me, and altho I shouldn't talk to him - i do, because I feel guilty, and b/c I love him stil very much. It seems every time we speak I go thru the break up all over agian, yet I need him as a friend. I have kissed three ppl since we broke up, just b/c I am attempting to replace the affection he gave me. One night he even called him up and he came over within minutes so we could have sex. I explain to him that I don't feel that this is right, and that I do not wish to lead him on. He seems to understand at first, and then deep down I don't think he does. I don't think this should go on. I know the only way I can fully let go, is if he does first. What shold I do?
  22. emma34
    about a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years for good reasons (hes a pathological liar). I've been putting myself through alot of pain, and it seems like a constant battle b/c I want to see him and be with him, but I know that i shouldn't - for my own sanity, and because i want to help him move on. I've been spending a lot of time with my friends to keep me busy. This almost insults him. Since we have been apart I have been looking for affection... which I'm not proud of, but i cant help it. I am still very scared to get intimate with someone, but I have kissed three different guys. I feel selfish, because altho I am out having fun, when I come home, he still calls me and cares for me. We have even had sex once, and whenever we are together (about once a week) it is like we are a couple again. I have explained to him that if we are going to be friends, he needs to give me some space. But still he calls me, and I cannot help but talk to him. I can see that he is hurting, and I am desperate to help him. For I know that if he can begin to move on emotionally, then so will I. Do I completely ignore someone who I love and care for? Or do I continue with the very unhealthy EX relationship?
  23. emma34
    ok im 17 and have totally been in your situation. my boyfriend was a wonderul guy , but in a lot of ways, (as superficial as this sounds) a little lower status than me. but we fell in love anyway and lasted over 2 years. throughout my whole relationship i was experiencing what you are right now. it doesn't go away trust me. my advice is to get out now. Because if you don't do it now, no matter how much you love him you'll do it later. always told my bf that if we stayed together until we were much older, I would need a long break to experience life a little more, which he understood now, but I doubt we would be able to later on in life. We broke up recently for separate reasnos, but now I am very glad that I did it. althlugh I am cmpletely heart broken by hurting him and myself, it is better for the long run. Don't let yourself stick around just because you don't wnt the hurt, even tho you know that it is best for you. Just remember that you can have a perfect relationship, and still want to experience things with other ppl, that feeling doesn't go away, unless you've done all the "experiencing" you need to do. Hope I wasn't babbling too much.
  24. emma34
    i don't know what to do! It's like he's a bad habit I just need to quit - but i CANT! he doesn't have friends to go to comfort him like i do, so he keeps coming to me and wanting me to comfort him. i feel horrible for hurting him so bad, but i know i cannot take him back. is there any good way to help him move on wtihout me? b/c everytime he comes to me for something, i'm breaking down just a little more.
  25. emma34
    I completely understand your situation. Your ex-girlfriend sounds, although it is scary, like me. I recently broke up with my very long-term boyfriend, for many reasons, but a big part of it was because I am still young and want to experience being with other people, and have a good time. She is likely VERY confused, and that is why she is saying that she wants to be friends one day, and then wanting you to just 'get over it' the next day. Like me, she sounds the kind of girl that cannot be bored. When she is out with her friends having fun, she's fine, and then the second her friends arent around she feels completely lost, and who gets a call? you. I would not advise trying to get back together with this girl. Being friends is a very dangerous thing, because she might just lead you to believe she is still deeply in love with you just to make sure you never leave her alone. I would say, try to move on with your life without her. Right now, tell her that you need space from her, because it sounds like she is using you. Attempt a clean break. Maybe you can still be friends down the road, but right now might be too soon, because she might be "moving on" (with other guys) faster than you, and that wuold really hurt to find out.
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