emma34

I definitely agree with that. The thing about watching football and all that. Well, personally I often wonder this myself. I don't really enjoy watching sports on TV, but if I'm with a group of ppl, I would pretend I am somewhat interested...I think a lot of girls pretend to be interested, or even force themselves to learn and become interested in it. Then of course some women actually DO like it - i'm not ruling that out...but this is what i think anyway. The thing about online dating descriptions and stuff, when it says describe what kind of person your looking for, basically your can be as picky as you want. Your not gonna say, 'well i'm not picky,' because if they're serious about findign someone for life...they're gonna be as specific as they can, although, I agree with what the person above said that it can basically be broken down fairly easily.

Sounds to me like he tried doing the single thing, and eventually decided he didn't like it, and needing something comfortable to be happy...you. You need to make it very clear to him what u feel, because this could take a very bad turn if he continues to lead you on just because he CAN, and then leaves you hanging. On the other hand, is it possible he is intrested in getting back together with you? Would YOU be interested in that? I think that he is wasting your time playing with your emotions, when those could be nights out with your friends or trying to meet new people. He is haulting the "grieving process". So I would urge you go tell him you want some answers - and if he's not interested in getting back together, maybe you should keep your contact just IMing, or whatever you think.

My advice - go. It doesn't matter what you 'appear'. And besdies - if you have been going out for this long, it shouldn't matter. He should be flattered by the fact that he misses you. But make sure he knows what's going on...and make sure he is okay with it, and that you are welcome. Just let him know that 'if he's busy...thats okay' or 'would you like some company?' kind of thing.

Absoloutely this is true. It doesn't matter why you broke up with that person, doubts will always linger, and it might even seem like not a good enough reason...why? Guilt. Even without that person giving you the 'guilt trip,' it's still there. Guilt has been hanging over my head for the last two months, as I broke up with my boyfriend of just over two years. It made it that much worse that he emotionally broke down and has become what I would consider an alcoholic ever since. I can't help but blame myself, but these things will come and go. They may call you selfish - you may label yourself shelfish - but in the end, what is right for you, is always right, and you have to remebmer that. Putting yourself first is the most important thing. Everybody experiences this guilt - so don't let it get you down. Because if you take this person back, and realize that you did it for the wrong reasons after...look at the situation you put yourself in. You would be putting that person in that much more pain. I hope I gave you a little insight - in my opinion anyway.

well - as THAT girl who would likely cheat on the nice guy (believe me I'm not proud of this...) These girls have good intentions most likely, but end up hurting you because they think you won't care or give them any trouble about it - and they can just get out easy without causing any big thing about it. This is my educated guess anyway. These girls also have likely been hurt by a guy/guys and end up treating guys like objects because that's how they've been treated in the past. It's actually pretty easy to spot these girls - the girls that ALWAYS have a guy with them. If you find your not finding the nice girls often enough, stick to casual relationships.. THOSE (the bad ones) kind of girls do not want those kind of relationships usually - they want to move fast. Be friends with the girl first - than you won't have to worry about being used, cause all your doing is being friends, and eventually youl'l figure out what shes like. Oh and also: playing a little hard to get never hurts. not calling right away - letting her ask the questions, that kind of thing..Believe me, I've been where you've been, and I ended up being a bitter harda*s lol. Being too nice never gets ya anywhere...

im assuming you mean oral sex - and thats a little difficult with a soft penis.

shave - almost completely.

I posted on here before about how my boyfriend and I have had sex now only four times, but it seems every single time we have had sex, it is great, until about 5 minutes in he becomes soft. This has happened everytime, and we have had to stop completely everytime except for once I found a way to get him back up and we could continue - but he ended up getting off about 30 seconds later. Being intimiate with him has become extremely frustrating. We have not talked about this at all, because I am just continuing to keep trying, hoping that eventually it will get better. It's not like he should be nervous or anything. Tonight we started fooling around again, and it seemed like foreplay was lasting forever, and then after about 15 minutes of just kissing, and me obviously wanting more, he made up some excuse and we ended up leaving the bedroom. It was obvious that he knew he wouldn't be able to have sex. This is insanely frustrating - but i'm not sure it is my place to ask him what is going on as i think that would probably put extra pressure on him. should i do something? keep trying? i know he does drugs and drinks quite a bit, so that may be part of the reason...but i need advice.

I'll just add that he is 18, and yes he does do a lot of drugs and drinks.

so my boy and I have done it only three times - but every single time he has been able to get it up, and then it goes down while we are doing it. I don't understand this at all. The first time we still were able to continue because I started massaging it and it got up. But both the second and third time we have attempted to have sex, and then 5 minutes into he is soft. It is extremely frustrating, but I will do anything I can to help this situation, if there is something. Last night I tried massagnig it and rubbing myself on it, but still nothing. Eventaully I give up, and it leaves me very pissed off, although I do not show it, because I know it's not really his fault I guess. He continues to kiss me, etc. during this as if we are just going back to foreplay, but by this point I am really not intersted in that. I don't know why this happens, or if there is anything I can do to help this. I am open to any and all advice. thank you.

i've been this girl - but i was also much too young at the time. My thoughts are eventually she will come around, once she realizes that 17 year old relationships don't last 90% of the time. If shes SERIOUS about waiting till marriage you need to have a talk with her about this. Tell her that she needs to be serious about that and you respect that, but she can't go back and forth. I think the reason why she does this is she is just very confused - she has good intentions, but in the heat of the moment, or a sudden urge can change her mind. This often happens. She should not be worried about getting pregnant really, because as long as she is on the pill, and you are not ejaculating in her, she is probably ok. Although I would advise condom use for the first while. Don't give her false promises about getting engaged and all that kind of thing, because I'm telling you, it just doesn't happen. My boyfriend and I almost got engaged when I was 17, and I would tell anyone NEVER to do that. Anyway, I'm sure she'll get over this phaze - one way or the other. But I think you need to sit her down and make her decide which one she wants - but you need to be supportive either way, because when it comes right down to it, it is a decision SHE needs to make.

no way - you were not overreacting..this guy was way out of line. sounds like he really doesn't respect the friendship you have very much.

i think your asking the wrong crowd...as someone who lost their virginity at 15 - i'd wait.

instead of being so straight forward as to ask her to be your girlfriend - maybe you should consider asking her if she would like to go to a movie or something...or just come over to your house to watch a movie..something along those lines. let her know that you like her and want to get to know her, without being too serious. like by saying 'i just want you to know that i think i'm really starting to like you, and i'd to learn more about you. do you want to come over to watch a movie tomorrow?' i dunno - maybe that helped.

i agree - you probably could have kissed him, but sometimes its better to be cautious about these kinds of things... you can still make it clear that you like him somehow. i'm sure you'll probably get another chance.

love - it is probably different for everyone. but i think the first symptoms of love itself, is the love sickness. i'm sure you've heard of being 'love sick'. well it is a feeling where you could be around that person 24/7 and never get sick of them..you wish you could be with them all the time, you feel completely comfortble around them, don't need to impress them, you feel that you two have a bond that makes you juist a little bit better than everyone else, you are very aware of that person's emotions and feelings, and you are sensitive to them, because you care. You realize that you would sacrifice for them, because you feel that you need them in your life. That's what I think anyway..

good question..i would say since you guys are both tested and are obviously being very responsible about it...it should be fine. i'd say go for it - but don't do it if your going to stress about it too much.

well - no one can take the pain away. all i can say is i have just experienced losing my first love as well - and it is truly important to have no regrets. don't go back to him whatever u do, no matter what he does/says...boys like that never change. The important thing to remember is that you really learned from this relationship...and you won't make that mistake again - because i'm sure there was some sort of warning sign that it was going downhill. the pain DOES go away...and i can almost promise you will be happier without him.

it seems you are likely right - that if u truly believe that u are not compatible together...NC is the only option. Feeling guilty and sympathetic for her pain is completely normal, but it does go away, and she will get better, as you likely know. The thing is, since she is calling you, I'm thinkin you guys should have one last talk face to face. Reassuring eachother that everythings going to be okay, as she obviously understands that you shouldn't be together. Maybe that would give her a little closure. Hope i helpd a little.

so i'm sort of seeing this guy whom is in my senior class. We have never been close friends, but we have often hung out in the same crowd. Even now that we are sort of dating, it's totally casual, and we don't go on dates or anything like that. Anyway, him and one of my bestfriends have dated in the past, and she constantly is telling me how hot she thinks he is...she even told me to get with him, just so I could tel her what it's liek (sort of as a joke)..the reason for this is b/c she has a boyfriend - and of all ppl - it is this guys best friend. Anyway, now I find that I am very often hanging out with his crowd of people, which I am fine with generally. But it seems everytime my friends boyfriend turns his back, she is all over the guy I am dating...cuddling, flirting, etc. Even when the boyfriend is there, she is stil very close to him. They play wrestle in front of me, and I'm starting to believe I cannot stand it. I understand it could be completely platonic, but it drives me crazy inside that when she is mad at her boyfriend, she goes running to talk to the guy I am with...it's just not fair, and i KNOW that they are attracted to eachother as they are both very good looking people. SO the other night I was having a party, and they were doing it again. My guy was cuddling with her on the coach while watching a movie as well as her boyfriend was on the otherside. Sure it was no big deal, as everyone was somewhat splattered on the couch, but I was sitting on the floor, and as I had a few drinks in me by this point, burning up inside. Anyway, later on I asked this girl if my friend and the guy i am with, (in a very drunken manner) want to have sex together...obviously she wouldn't know that answer, and it seemed very suspicious that I would ask such an odd question. She sort of just gave me a weird look, and was like, 'why?'. And I KNOW that she will tell her bf, whom will tell the guy I am with since they are very close friends...and likely my friend as well. I don't know what to do from here - cause I have ALMOST decdied to end this thing I have with this guy, but i'm giving him another chance to redeam himself. But I have afeeling this is going to be a big embaressement for me...cause my friend will be pretty pissed if she finds out that I'm worried about this (shes nto a very nice girl) and there is just no way i could talk to her about it, because she flirt with EVERY guy like that..but just more him, because they are friends adn he is extremely good looking. And then as well, he will think it is very weird for me to say something like this, and I don't want him to think I am a jealous girl at all - especially b/c we are not "officially" dating...i suppose we are just seeing eachohter...but it is exclusively at this point. I don't know what to do - I could just be like 'oh i was joking' (it didn't sound like I was joking...but i'm sure I could pull it off ) or i guess i could say i don't remember (again, had a few drinks in me =S) but these are both fairly sad attempts to fix it. Any idaes?

So I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years about 2 months ago because he was a pathological liar. We have kept occasional contact, but he has done everything in his power to get me back. I never call him, e-mail him, or anything, but he will call me, invite himself over, e-mail me, and so on. I feel I cannot get rid of him, although I am suffering from extreme guilt from breaking up with him, so I do not hve the guts to tell him off. Especially because I know he is going through tough times with family now, basically because he has turned to drinking in the last couple of months. He has invited himself over for on january 1st, saying he is going to stay with me while my parents are gone. although this would be fantastic, because I am stil deeply in love with him, I know it will not help...since there is no chance of me taking him back. He has not accepted that we are not together, and still I am the first one he calls if needs someone to talk to. He was always very kind to me, and there for me, and it hurts him that he cannot protect me and be there for me now. I'm considering breaking all contact with him - but that is my very last resort, since I am still intersted in this life. Any advice?

Hey! This is my opinion on the subject... in a lot of ways sex shouldn't be as important as it is in a relationship..I believe that when ppl talk about "sex" they are not just referring to the act of sex itself, but the kissing, the cuddling, the intimacy in general as well. Once you've 'made love' with someone, theres this bond that you can't really explain...it's just this thing that connects you to someone. And alot of ppl do it too soon because they crave that connection, and they think that by doing it, it will make them closer to that person. You are very right, waiting is always the right choice. I find that if you have sex with someone soon in the realtionship, you are much more likely to become attached and stay with that person, whether or not you actually are or will become in love with them. But then of course, sex is important for the literal view...satisfaction. Hope I gave you some insight.

hot guy + alcohol + likely vulnerablity or hate for men at the time (treat men as objects maybe?) = one night stands. OR hot guy + alcohol = one night stand. either way....it works. its pretty much just chancing it to get a one night stand.

ok yeh... you are much too old for these kind of relationship...f*** buddies are for like teenagers who have no intentions of becoming serious in a relationship...and have overloaded hormones, and engage in irresponsibile sexual behavior. but for your knowledge...the "f*** buddy" status is exactly what it proclaims. There SHOULD be no room for an actual relationship but 90% of the time, it likely turns out to be this way. It is difficult to keep friends after ending such a relatinship as well I am sure. There ya go...

ppl need to realize, ppl are going to have sex no matter how much you lecture them...geez. ok, condoms are like 95% effective or something, but tht really doesn't matter. since you guys are being responsible enuf to plan ahead...you should really seriously consider birth control pills. its an easy thing to do, and if your using condoms, and on the pill, you won't have to stress so much about getting pregnant. but still use a condom. ask your health nurse, or doctor, or whomever about the rest. hopei helpd! good question, and way to be responsible.