lunatic

I agree with the other posters when they said get checked out by your doctor.

WOW thats really not fair of a statement since I have never cheated in the 17 years I have been involved in relationships. I can tell you that one of my ex's cheated on me so does that mean all women cheat? NO not at all. Please if you think all men cheat then you have met the wrong men. It is an unfair assumption that everyone in a gender cheat. You know there are some people on both sides of the gender curve that cheat and others that don't. Thats why relationships are so important to try and weed out the loser/cheaters from the quality person you want to spend your life with. OK OK my rant is over now...

I have to say upfront that the post I am doing here is from my experiences only. I find a good woman is hard to find but, finding a good woman who can cook is a bonus. I don't think it really matters if it is Betty Crocker or from scratch. Most guys will make a big deal out of the fact you baked and to top that off that you were thinking of him.

LOL I almost fell on the floor in my office on that one. ROFLMFAO! To add my two cents here... What your experiencing is totally normal and it will be a tough road to get where you want to be (with a lady). What my advice to you is to stop trying so hard to get with the ladies. The ladies can pick up desperation in a heartbeat and pick you off from a crowd. I would keep looking but, lose the desperation by waxing the wood for now. Your still very young and have a lot to learn about women. I agree with BellaDonna that your approach is flawed. Your treating the women like they are cattle and not like individuals they are.

Don't let that feeling of love blind you to the fact this guy treats you like dirt. I don't care what he has or who he sees because he has cheated and lied to you. Screw that you deserve better on all levels. The only way I could let him off with the I am sick routine is if he had alzheimer's. Then I could understand the cheating and lying to cover it up. I would still lose this one like stink on poop. Get rid of this guy because he is NO GOOD and you deserve better from a partner.

Welcome to Enotalone. You have come to right place to get advice as almost everyone here has been thru a breakup. I have a few things I would like to say that I do and you can try to see if this helps you out. First off the first few months are bad but, you can get thru it you have to be strong. Start No Contact (NC for the rest of time on this forum) ASAP! That means no talking to him no calling, emailing, txting no nothing. Take the control back away from him and use it as a tool to help you heal. First step is to get involved in some extra cirricular activities in school. Maybe volunteer with the local church or hospital helping others sometimes helps. Go out with your friends and family and make sure you are super busy. I find that I pine over a relationship when I am sitting idle and have nothing to keep my mind off the whole situation. No matter what you do you will feel that hole inside and it hurts but, it will get better with time. Come here often and post here when you need support as you will find that this is a very compasionate place and there are some really good hearted people here. Be strong and I know you will be ok if you just keep yourself busy no matter how you feel. Hub

Shorty I never said you treated him like a mom would. I was stating a general factoid about men in general. I am sorry that I cannot offer you anything more in this department since I don't have any more suggestions.

BTW I think you have every right to be a little upset that he said you were his backup for tonight. I would have gotten a little bit snippy too if I were you. I dont blame you for being annoyed espcially since he seems to do this all the time to you.

hahaha Shorty men are not that tough to figure out. We say the same thing about women more than you would care to know. Here is my advice: 1. Love him 2. be honest with him and talk about things that bother you. 3. make love to him on a regular basis. 4. Be his friend/lover and not his mother. If you can follow this advice you will have a happy life with someone. If you think he is mad then why not call him and try to talk to him. If he is ready to talk he will talk to you about it. We are not that complicated creature you have in your head hun. You need to think about the fact that he wants to see his buddies and if that does not happen then yeah your his backup. You should have just said "you know what I think we should do our own thing tonight." It is that simple Shorty and I hope this helps. Hub

In my experience dealing with a situation just like this one I have to say that you may want to start thinking about the future. I don't think this woman is having problems with her desire I think it stems from something else. I have heard something similar to what your going thru now. I can remember one gf in pitcular that would say everytime I kissed her I wanted sex. Well that went on for a few months before the relationship ended. I would sit down with her and talk to her about this. I found out that my ex was interested in another man and that is when the sexual problems came about. I hope I am wrong but, I wanted you to have an eye open to the possibility. good luck, Hub

I agree with everyone here especally Avman when he said "time to get a new girlfriend"

Whoa!!!! Hold the horses there girlie!! lol Your not pond scum because you loved someone who took advantage of you. Please don't put yourself into the same catagory as your ex. He is the pond scum and he does not deserve to be with a woman like yourself. You have to look at this in a positive manner since this is a learning experience. Take it from me you can do way better and you will have no problems in the future finding someone who will treat you like a partner not a piece of crap. Look at it this way hun you will move on from this man faster than anyother ex in the past. He really gave you the way to get out fast by being the jerk he always has been. Forget that jerk and remember that he does not deserve YOU! -Hub

Sorry to hear your friend died but, I don't completely understand how it happened. Not that it would change anything you are going thru right now. I had a friend that was murdered about fourteen years ago and that was a hard death to accept. I know how it feels to have someone you hang with just die on you. It is a terrible thing to have to experience and you should maybe think about going to counseling at school. I find that it always helps when I talk about things that bother me. If you bottle your feelings up inside you will just end up making yourself sick and possibly give yourself a complex.

Hey I too have been following your situation for a while now. You do not deserve to be treated like this and it is time to move on. Now I am not going to "lecture" you on this as we all have to learn things sometimes the hard way. I too am sorry that you are going thru this and I agree with Kellbell that your a beautiful woman who would not have a problem finding a man. Now finding a man that will love you for you that is another story since there are so many players/serial daters out there. Don't change who you are if your happy with yourself because some shallow guy talked to you that way. He seems to be very immature and not worth your time. My suggestion to you is to start NC ASAP!!! Then start going out with your friends and family. Take time to do some soul searching and figure out why you would stay in an abusive situation like you did for so long. I am so sorry to hear he said so many things that are humiliating to you. I think it is time for you to grant his wish to "get out of his life". Honey you seem like a wonderful lady who deserves to be treated with respect and be loved for whom you are. Everyone is special in their own ways and not all people are meant to be together. Don't take what he said to you as truth because it seems like he said those things to purposely hurt you. Listen anytime you need to talk PM me. I can honestly see how this could severely affect you as a person. I want you to look at it this way that HE does not deserve YOU! PERIOD!!!! Good luck and keep your chin up because you are the better person here and never forget that. Hub

face the facts that when you break someone's heart they are more cautious in the future. You say you broke up with him because you wanted the best for him. Well now you may not want to hear this but, if that was true you would leave him alone now. Since you broke this guys heart and now you want him back but, he will not take you. Seriously, I don't blame him because it would be his fault if you hurt him again. You know the old saying "Hurt me once shame on you hurt me twice shame on me." The only thing there is to do here is respect his feelings and leave him alone. I think it is time for you to start No Contact so you can heal yourself. It sounds like it is time to move on.

HAHAHA Good one DN!!!

Just because you are not a model does not mean you should settle for this treatment. This man treats you like a piece of dirt and has you coming home to appologise for it. You have every right to be upset about him poking fun at your weight. I mean that is a HUGE no no for a man to make fun or any comment about a womans weight. I would never ever talk to my g/f like that even jokingly. He should never make fun of you in that way not even in jest. I think you should go stay with friends or family after work like he said and let him see what it is like without you there. Personally, hun I would kick this one to the curb. If he does not enhance the person you are then there is no need to be with him. In other words if he does not make you happy then go find another person who will treat you right.

OK OK there is the first RED flag that was shown to you. I mean what did he do to warn you? I mean what he said something like "Well if I can't get sex from you then I will go else where?" OMG what a absolute JERK!!! I was in a relationship once that I tried to make work no matter how hard I tried nothing worked. I remember trying to talk to her about the obvious sex issues we were having. I remember after well over a month without sex I threatened her with if I can't get it here then I will go somewhere else. Well she ended up cheating on me because my threat was a bluff and she called it. KICK HIM TO THE CURB AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!!! It is that simple. Once a CHEATER always a cheater! BTW No it is not your fault he had sex with another woman. What a jerk!

First things first... She hit you three times and as Raykay stated that is three times too many as it does not matter if it over 11 months or 11 years. Once is too many. Second, she is controlling you and is berrating you infront of your friends. She needs to go. Tell her to go and not let the door hit her on the butt on the way out. You have not been wrong about anything but, staying with this emotional train wreck of a girl.

Well now you have a reason to kick this loser to the curb. You are not at fault for his infidelity because he is an adult. Thats a horrible thing to say to someone that they are the direct reason why they went looking outside the relationship. What nerve. This guy has a big set of balls to even think he can get away with that line. Sweetie go find someone who does not need strip clubs and is going to be faithful to you because he is out there somewhere. =-)

It just cracks me up on how some of you ladies think your OPINION should be law. Not everyone feels the way you do and to berrate a man. Why because he found a woman who has no issues with her sexuality. Sorry ladies remember that this is your opinion not something that is written in stone for everyone. I guess it would surprise you that when I used to go with my ex that all the women who danced there were hitting on her and not me. Try to understand that this is your view on this issue and it is NOT shared with the rest of us here on this site or in real life. This is so much like the religion issue so why can't we all agree to disagree on this piticular subject?

I too am an in agreement with DN on this. Kick this weirdo to the curb. Who the heck keeps used condoms?? Period! YUCK! *pukes*

Please keep this topic on subject. If anymore deviations happen here I will lock this thread and start issuing warnings. Thank you, Hub

***Applauds*** *Standing Ovation* I agree with DN on this one! RayKay could not be more on the mark with that post.

The one thing I have not figured out here with this is why you would hang out with these "friends" when they treat you like dirt. I would end things with both Paul and Jim because it sounds like they are playing you. Who needs enemies when your friends treat you like crap? Do yourself a favor and leave that PAUL NOW. I agree with the Theantibarbie that the first few months people are usually on their best behavior. If he is acting like this and it only has been a week I cannot imagine a year from now.