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twinkle

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  1. twinkle
    I need advice. Christmas two years ago, a guy i work with told me he liked me. But literally the next day he left to go round the world with his girlfriend of 8 years. Now they're back, they're engaged, and he's back at work. I really like him. On Friday night we all went out after work and after a lot of flirting with each other he ended up coming home with me. He spent the night with me in my bed but nothing happened. We didn't even really kiss - he kissed my head and my face when he thought i was sleeping. There was a lot of cuddling and he was stroking my back throughout the night. He left in the morning and I didn't see him again until Monday at work. He didn't warn me not to tell anyone about it, even though lots of people at work know his fiance, and they also saw him leaving with me. I'm just so confused about what is going on. Any ideas??!
  2. twinkle
    my ex boyfriend wouldn't let me give him oral sex! NEVER! and we were together three years - not once in all that time. and i really wanted to!!
  3. twinkle
    I had exactly the same problem my first couple of times. You just need to relax more. I know it's not easy!! Try not to worry so much. Ask him to take it slow, use lots of lube, and if it still feels tight for him, try this. Contract your pelvic floor muscles down there, and this should make it tighter than it already is, and as you relax, tell him to slowly try and enter you -this way, you KNOW you are relaxing those muscles and it's easier for him to start getting in, if you know what i mean!! If you're worried about other things, pregnancy etc etc, then this will also affect it, so make sure you've covered all areas - that you're on the pill, condom. Enjoy a lot of foreplay so that you're completely aroused, and take it slow. Yes, it will hurt, but it will get better, and better....and better!!! Good luck.
  4. twinkle
    I think if he doesn't turn up today, maybe then it's the time to talk to him on the phone about it - explain that you didn't want to do it over the phone but he broke your arrangement and you felt he needed to know. I also think you should really speak to either your best friend or your mum - or both. Only you know what their reaction will be to what you tell them, but at the same time, your best friend is your best friend for a reason and should support you through this. It's going to be a really tough time for you, and even if you tell your ex, he won't provide the emotional support that you're going to need in the future. Tell your friend and your mum, and let them support you. You do not need to go through this alone.
  5. twinkle
    I find it funny that only men are answering a question on what female orgasms feel like!! lol! sachadesousa was right on there being two types of orgasm, but neither may be 'easily triggered' - it all depends on who you are. Some people live their lives and never have an orgasm - imagine! I'm one of the luckier ones. The build up to an orgasm is slower for a woman, and the orgasm itself can last up to two minutes. but really, all women are different, and no two peoples orgasms are going to feel the same. You really have to experience it to understand! have fun trying!
  6. twinkle
    I think that when you're younger it's important to you that your partner is a virgin, but as you get older the chances of that happening are slimer and slimer. It's not at all important to me that my partner is a virgin. I didn't lose my virginity until i was 22, and that was when i was with someone I thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with - he was a virgin too. That relationship didn't work out, but I wouldn't like to think a potential future partner would hold it against me.
  7. twinkle
    I broke up with my boyfriend on friday, mainly because of his really frightening temper and I was scared where it might lead and what might happen. He didn't take the break up well at all, and has been phoning me and pleading with me to take him back. But now I'm a bit scared. I live alone and he's been standing outside my house sending me text messages on my mobile phone asking me if I'm in, and when I said no (i didn't know he was outside) he phoned and told me he knew I was in because he could see me. And he turned up on my doorstep the next day without any warning. another thing - since the break up, I've been getting hang up calls to work where we can't trace the numbers. Also, this morning as I drove to work, he was driving right behind me even though he lives in a completely different place, and works nowhere near me. I'm getting really freaked out. I'm just worried now that this might get out of hand, and I've seen his temper and it really scares me. I can't even go to anyone about it, because he hasn't ever hit me, and I suppose I can't stop him sitting outside my house and driving behind me - any ideas anyone??
  8. twinkle
    An exboyfriend of mine called me by his exgirlfriends name almost three months into our relationship. Little did i know that he'd just started seeing her again (as a friend, he says) - I think she was on his mind a little more than he was letting on. I'm not saying this is at all the same for you - maybe there is no Michelle. Maybe he was telling the truth. It's quite possible he just got carried away in the moment and muttered the first thing that came into his head - unfortuately it was the wrong name. It's also possible that he had heard the name michelle a while before - tv, radio - i know i've answered my work phone and said the wrong company name because the people around me were talking about a different company - it's easily done!!! Ask him about it again if it's worrying you - but don't push him away because of it. Good luck!
  9. twinkle
    Personally, I don't think this is something you should tell him over the phone, but I do think he needs to know. Something inside you wants to tell him as well, and you should go with your gut feeling and let him know, otherwise you might regret not telling him, and the longer you leave it, the harder it'll be to tell him about it. Ultimately it's your decision about what you do, and you've already made the decision, but he might be able to provide the support you need in what will be a really tough time for you. Even if you don't want to see him again afterwards, i really feel you should tell him what you're going through.
  10. twinkle
    it would upset me more if my partner was seeing someone else and had feelings for them. It'd still upset me a LOT if he was going to someone else for sex, but I could cope with that more than if he was in love with her, and she with him. And I think intercourse is far more intimate than oral sex. Just my opinion!
  11. twinkle
    don't worry too much about it. it's a natural thing for most teenagers to go through. I had the same problem when i was your age. My best friend and I were very close, and I remember thinking, if she was a boy I'd really fancy her, but I did grow attracted to her, and we even started a relationship. It was only after I'd experimented that I realised that I wasn't a lesbian and I'd rather be with men. I haven't been with another woman since, and I'm not tempted or confused anymore. I don't regret having experimented at all, I needed to, to find out who i was. Don't stress about it. It's normal - you'd be surprised how many people your age have wondered and even experimented.
  12. twinkle
    During a break up with my exboyfriend - we'd been together 3 years. i told him i'd felt like i was the only one trying to make the relationship work and he said 'maybe thats because i don't think it's worth the effort' - that hurt after being with him for 3 years! and the most current ex - as of this week, has resorted to name calling, swearing at me. turning up on my doorstep and shouting, burning anything i'd left at his house - i think he's of the restraining order sort too!
  13. twinkle
    well, we had an hour long chat on the phone last night. it started of fine, and i explained how i felt, and he said he understood but wanted us to be friends which was fine, but five minutes later was shouting at me and calling me every name under the sun. so, i told him i couldn't be friends with him if he was going to treat me like that, and that I didn't want to talk to him anymore. and thats how i left it. i'm just a bit concerned - thats how it had been left before he turned up on my doorstep at 11pm. i just hope he doesn't start turning up at my door now...
  14. twinkle
    I've just broken up with my boyfriend last Friday. He didn't take it well and wanted to know the reasons, which I told him. The main ones were his seriously frightening temper (no violence, but throwing things and kicking things) and the fact that he's been meeting up regularly with his exgirlfriend and her son behind my back. I'm not upset about the breakup in the slightest. I know it's the right thing for us, but I did want to remain friends with him as I really enjoy his company, but he swore at me and told me he never wanted to see me again. Then last night he turned up on my doorstep, crying, telling me he loves me and wants me back. He said that he hadn't realised what he had until it was gone, and he was sorry for the way he treated me. We talked for hours and I made no promises to him. I was honest and open, telling him that I didn't love him anymore, and that I only wanted us to be friends and yet we ended up in bed together. I KNOW I did the wrong thing in sleeping with him again, and I regretted it immediately, but how do I tell him that I don't want to get back together with him without hurting him even more than I already have done?
  15. twinkle
    hi there, i was using an online dating service until quite recently - long story! found what i thoguht was my mr perfect, turns out he wasn't! so back to the drawing board for me too! some of the things that stopped me replying were bad spelling - although if she's replied at least once, this probably isn't the reason she's suddenly stopped. Maybe i'm really fickle about things, but if a guy hasn't taken the effort to check his spelling before sending me an email then I just can't even be bothered replying to him - who knows what else he won't take the effort to do! Also, I didn't normally reply if the email/message was almost word for word what I'd read in his profile - he hasn't gone to any effort to personalise the message for me, and it smacks of 'mass mailing'. If he'd picked up on something I'd written in my profile or email then I'd respond - he's taken on board what I've written and showing an interest in me and what I do - rather than what I look like. Don't make comments on her picture, if she has one. It seems very superficial. And it goes without saying - don't make inappropriate suggestions!!! and don't suggest you meet up too soon into the email relationship! But these all seem wrong in your case - you don't have bad spelling as I can see from your post! And you seem to have had more than one email back and forward before the girl drops out. I'm sorry I'm not more help to you - just keep trying! You could be right - they may just have met their mr right at the exact same time they were talking to you - but don't worry, your miss perfect could be in that next email! good luck searching!
  16. twinkle
    it's definitely nothing to be ashamed of. I waited until I was 22 before I lost my virginity, because I wanted it to be with someone that I loved. I was the last of my friends, and the last of almost everyone i knew! And it did bother me, and I sometimes felt pressurised but I knew I#d regret it if i didn't wait until I was ready. Although, there does come a point where you just want to get it 'over and done with'!!! But don't feel that you should just go out and do it for the sake of doing it. Wait until you're really ready and until you've found the right person. It shouldn't be an issue with any guys you start dating, if they're worth you knowing and being with, they'll understand and respect you for waiting. good luck!
  17. twinkle
    thank you both for your kind and encouraging words. I know now that I cannot give him the satisfaction of having had that much control over me while we were together - and STILL having that control over me now. I won't let it happen. And if nothing else, it'll make me realise that nobody will ever get away with treating me like that again. thank you again, and i'll update you on my progress!!
  18. twinkle
    I was with my exboyfriend for over three years. When I look back now, I can't understand why i stayed so long. IT got to the stage where he was always making negative comments on how i looked and what I ate. He knew I had issues with my weight (I'd had bullimia a few years earlier) and yet he was always commenting that i was fatter than this person or that person. I think I stayed because he convinced me that nobody else would ever want me. If my boyfriend thought i was that ugly, how could anyone else want me? Finally we broke up and now i'm with a fantastic guy who thinks the world of me. he's always paying me compliments and telling me i'm beautiful. but i find it so hard to believe, and i know he feels like i'm throwing all his compliments back in his face. how can i improve on my self esteem and believe people when they say nice things about me?!
  19. twinkle
    don't tell your boyfriend. as another post said, you wouldn't be telling him for his sake, you'd be doing it to make you feel less guilty about what you've done. i've been in your situation and the best thing to do is finish with your boyfriend before you hurt him and torture yourself. you may or may not want or end up back with your ex, but the fact that cheating even crossed your mind, shows that things with your current partner are not all they should be.
  20. twinkle
    it sounds like you've no need to be jealous at all. she's turned every single one of his offers down - thats got to show you she doesn't want to go anywhere with just him. maybe you should speak to your friend, and tell him that your girlfriend has told you everything he's said to you. that way, he won't think that she's keeping anything from you, and any upperhand he thinks he has is lost. don't worry about it too much. it sounds to me like you're reacting perfectly to me, but don't encourage your girlfriend too mcuh to spend time with him, or she may think you wouldn't mind at all. speak to your 'friend' and good luck!
  21. twinkle
    cheating isn't (or shouldn't) be different for guys and girls. i personally think cheating is anything from kissing someone other than your partner, to taking it any further than that. if you're kissing someone else, there must be some fundamental problem in your relationship for you to look elsewhere for it. i know, i've been there. tried to convince myself i wasn't cheating by just kissing the other guy, but felt so guilty that i knew it was wrong. obviously, every person thinks differently, so maybe it's whatever makes you feel guilty and wrong - maybe thats it?!
  22. twinkle
    there are other options. it's not just a case of either pill or a condom, or both combined. If you don't want to use the pill, don't. but don't put your trust in just a condom either. Bear in mind that they can split, be put on wrong etc etc etc I use Implanon - it's a small matchstick sized rod which goes under the skin in your arm and releases the contraceptive over three years, and means i don't have to worry about remembering to take a pill - or worry if i've been ill that the effects of the pill are lessened. look at all the options available before deciding to only use a condom - you'll feel more in control that way. and you can enjoy sex more without having to work out the most 'safe' times. enjoy!
  23. twinkle
    I know exactly how you feel. I was with my ex for just over three years, and towards the end there were definitely more bad times than good. We were best friends though, and we'd got into the habit of seeing and being with each other. so when we broke up it was a terrible wrench and hurt me so much. it's hard to describe how a relationship that you know you shouldn't be in, can hurt you so much when it ends. and yet it's such a relief. anyway, i was the one that was devastated. we kept in touch, called each other, texted and occasionally met up. then he started seeing someone else, and it was serious very quickly. i felt awful and at the time i thoguht it was because i wanted him back. looking back, i think i was hurting because he seemed to be moving on so quickly. i mean, this was a 3 year relationship and within a couple of months he was ready to marry someone else! i felt like i'd never meant anything to him. the strong feelings you're feeling could well just be jealousy rather than love. i'm not saying that's definitely what it is, and i'm not undermining how you feel in any way. you can't 'change her mind' though. some things just aren't meant to be. try your hardest to move on with your life, and i know its hard. don't contact her, and if she's going to miss you, she will. and if she does, she'll contact you. and if she doesn't contact you, at least you're partly on your way to getting over the relationship and moving on.
  24. twinkle
    My boyfriend and I have a very very active sex life, but right at the start of our relationship, before we had sex the first time, he warned me that he doesn't climax through just sex. he just never does, and never has in his life with any partner. he says that he thinks it's maybe because he can't just 'let go', which I thought might have been fear of getting me pregnant, but he does climax in me. We have long passionate sex sessions, where we both enjoy ourselves, but he has to masturbate himself until he's almost ready to come, and then finishes in me. has anyone any idea why this might be?
  25. twinkle
    i have an implant in my arm - implanon. it lasts for three years and apparently has the lowest risk of pregnancy, although it's still relatively new. i chose this because i'm really forgetful, and would likely not remember to take the pill!! obviously this doesn't protect against std's, so i'd use a condom as well if i wasn't sure of my partners sexual history.
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