the iguana

Once in a while i will have a glass of marsala or pinot grigio at the table with my parents, depends on the type of meat that's prepared. I have been getting small amounts of wine for supper since I was of illegal age: since 8 . But not once did i break into the cabinet to get wasted. Personally that gallon of Poland Springs water does it for me, quenches my thirst and all, no aftertaste, good healthy feeling. At 22, I already feel I have no control over my life, why would i want to lose any MORE control of it under excessive alcohol abuse?

Its also great to be LEFT out of parties where all your friends are at but they know you don't like alcohol - so they leave you out. Such is my case. I always say 'why not me, i'd be the person who keeps everyone out of trouble or from driving home but *nope*, they don't like that, either i drink or i'm left out. So i choose to work late night shifts so i can't possibly go to parties ANYWAY. As for designated drivers, i'd volunteer, but being left out of it leaves just the drunks to fend for the flock: i have friends pick the LEAST drunk friend to drive and it pisses me off. Dangerous. Lately parties i go to are only because of my girlfriend dragging me to them. She won't drink when i'm around. But if i let her go off with her friends w/o me, she goes chug-a-lug... Oh well, i take pennance that i'm finishing my degree and moving to greener grass in less than a year...

Maybe i'm weird, i'm still unsure.... Allow me to introduce myself, i'm 22, a college student and currently dating a girl. I am also narcoleptic and i try to maintain heavy moral standards in my life. That out of the way, i was curious as to why people find drinking fun, and getting fully drunk. I tried twice to get drunk, and each time i find the buzz i get very un-fun. People, including my girlfriend, love to do this every weekened, and tell me how much fun i'm missing out on. I tell people "i don't like to drink" but my problem really is "i don't like the buzz, so ill drink a small cup socially." Now, im not sure if my condition (narco) prevents me from acurately feeling what most college kids deem as 'fun' And i really really resent dating a girlfriend who chugs down alcohol like its a prize winning contest. what are your thoughts? am i weird?

See, many give the advice of 'let them have their fun, and when they calm down, give them a cushion to fall on'. I say *profanity deleted by moderator* that. If i had a girlfriend that does that, well guess what? I'm not taking back a good girl turned bad. If it was a mutual thing where we both turned bad, then thats fine, because its still monogamous in theory. But a girl who turns bad and leaves her boyfriend behind while she has the time of her life has no moral vistas in her mind. I wouldn't take her back, and i'd give her hell and a half. Sloppy seconds? Absolutely not. My two cents in the matter is this: let them know you dislike their behavior. Make it darn clear that you won't tolerate it. And stick to it. If they can fool around and you'r still without balls enough to take her back, she knows she can do it again. Any guy who allows a stanger kissing them or anything else isn't a good guy, even drunk i wouldn't allow that. Don't take he back...If all good guys dispose of waste in a proper manner, the bad can rot together in bed.

Well, three weeks have passed, im on good terms with her. I've settled this balance of power by starting to hang around with a friend of mine (a hot goth chick) and i take naps in her dorm between classes and we cook food around lunch time (i commute, so im stuck eating blimpies otherwise) and i told my gf this. She doesn't like it one bit! And so i told her 'go ahead and hang out with ____ all you want' and now she feels disgusted about going drinking with him. Haha. I know i won't cheat on my g/f. This goth girl has a boyfriend who lives far away. And i'm not gonna do anything with this girl. She's a friend who i work with and have a class with. I don't anything past talking to her or eating Chicken Marsal cooked by her, i don't hug her or touch her or anything. But yes, my advice to anyone having this problem is to start hanging out with another girl, don't use her, but hang out with her if you get jealous of your girlfriends actions. before this whole shebang, i would've never hung out with another girl in the privacy of her dorm room, but oh well. Your fault, girlfriend.

Yep, same crap ive been going through. You can see the whole fiasco here: link removed

i missed this post until now, but i'd like to say this. I don't mind when a girl of mine parties, but i find it a sign of psychological weakness when the girl decides to 'experiment' with alcohol, or 'try' pot which her friends do. I mean, i'm pretty psychologically weak but i go to parties and i take a cup of wine and a few breaths of second hand smoke and thats about as much of partying i can take. I never understood partying. My girlfriend, whom i met when she was sitting around the house and being a good girl and studious while she commuted to college now goes to a far away school and she gets smashed and/or high frequently. she finds nothing wrong with it, and wonders why i can't sleep at night. my fear is being cheated on, kissing strangers etc., while being in a different state of mind... because i had friends get cheated on like that. I talked to her friends and ask about what she does when high and they would shut up as soon as i said 'no she doesn't tell me much' - big coverups. I don't do swag or drink excessively. She shouldn't either. sounds like fitting in to me... I mean, Why should i deserve a girl who does that, and still think i ought to love her for who she is? So far, every girl i've met is a big disappointment. Every girl in church i've met is an even greater disappointment. You wonder if there is anyone out there. All the good ones probably killed themselves already.

i took her to a fair (made her pay her own way) and took a couple of pictures of us. Interestingly she never likes to be photographed, suddenly she does, and afterwards asked for all the photos i had (digital camera, so i sent them via email). Interestingly, i also have used a program to get her email password , and when she checked email on my machine i got her password. Sneaky. Anyhow, after the sent photos to her, i logged on as her and noticed she sent the 'friend' several of our pictures. I realize one was taken because he likes the word Swine, so we took a picture of her and i next to a big pig sign. But also with the one meant for him, i noticed she sent a picture of just herself with a blanket on top, and one with a good shot of her bust, next to another farm animal. Both were taken that same day. Does it pose a bit seedy that she never liked taking pictures until that day she got drunk and that she's sending him three pictures (one meant for him) adn the other two are clearly of just herself in the environment? unfortunately she took the 'sent items' folder off her email server recently, i can only see what she sent via trash. don't worry guys, ive been taking your advice, im treating her just as a friend, and distancing myself from her...your opinions?

So here i am , after a confrontation with her, feeling like i was the one abandoning her on her birthday. So i decided fnuck it, she did this to me. I've made more plans with her ( which i think will be a huge bass mistake). I plan on taking her to a fair this weekend. Hours later she told me she invited him to come along. Later on when i bullied him into the corner about sleeping over her dorm, he goes "dude you're a jealous boyfriend, chill out, she's got guy friends -deal with it." but ever since i cornered the bastard, he's been not wanting to go with us. I think i scared him off. So what is this? over one weekend, several months of her avoiding him have come to a close? Now its me and him and her doing everything? When i suggested she and i go with friends to a bar, she wanted me to go with just her alone. No. And If she thinks im going to start bringing the spare tire (the male friend) with us everywhere, guess again. Also during class i was thinking "If she 'invited' me to come along, and she knew 'we' were getting drunk, what would she have done about the TWO beds that were there. We would need THREE if him and i were to be there overnight. I think i may be overanalyzing but its still a thought that lingers. Every once in a while a synapse triggers something unusual... Just like how now i remember when i came to pick her up the day he left earlier, i called her to come out of her dorm, and she took over 15 minutes getting ready, and never let me in. Very suspicious. A small peak on her ground floor dorm window says that the shades were shut. usually they are not. Sigh. I've been meeting girls already on campus, with common interests. I'm gonna hold onto this girl till i find another i like, just because its good companionship...on occasion...to like...concerts and uh..thats a bout it...

Its very interesting how i felt alone in my relationship being give and take. I always felt like i was doing things for her and she not really giving back. I would leave fun little creative things/ messages on her doorstep. She only did it when i said 'how come i don't get anything fun?' Its almost like she's waiting for a cue from me. Especially with visiting or going out for dinner. Often times its me being very caring: scratching her back, braiding her hair, giving her quick pecks, buying her little things, even..ew...rubbing her toes. But she really never does that for me. At one time a female friend of mine (her friend) told me that she Expects a guy to do these things because they're proper manners. " A guy should be spending his money?" I didn't like this answer because in this relationship i recall her liking me first, and monetarily she makes much more and spends on her stupid friends more than me. I dunno, don't respond to this post. I just needed some venting, like every other kind emotional girlfriend-nurturing guy like me.

Upon confrontation, she didn't seem to think anything was wrong with that. When i told her there definitely is, because "first of all, if any guy should pass out next to you or in the same room overnight it should be me!" She then proceeded to say that she didn't want him to drive drunk home and killing somebody. He lives 30 miles from her dorm (i live 40 miles from her dorm the opposite direction) To which i of course say "Then you should've planned it better, so HE was the designated driver so this wouldn't have happened" Wheres the foresight? Does it go out the drain when one turns twenty one? Of course, the script was turned on me, and i'm being accused of not trusting her. And i said what she didn't want to here "no, of course i don't," i couldn't look at her in the eyes anymore. sickens me. Thanks for everyone's reply, my personal friends have said the same thing "give her space/dump 'er"

Ok, first off, i 've been going out with this girl for sometime (a year). For about a year and a bit longer than that, she's been talking to one of my good male friends. Nothing wrong there. But early on when i first asked her out, he tried to one up me, and asked her out that same week. She declined. He calls her alot. In fact, she calls him. But she never calls me , saying its my boyfriend-ly duty to do so. So i tend to never call either. Online, i know they email each other, and IM way into the night, even when i go to bed , and get up like two hours later to go bathroom, they're still on (probably talking) I get up early mornings (8-10am, while they get up around 12-1) Our schedules are all different. Oddly, she told me only several months into dating that , yes, he has a crush on her, but she won't have anything to do with him. Then her 21st birthday started coming up. So he and i planned to have a drinking party over his apartment, and she and i would come up along with other people and maybe crash there that night. Three days before that occurs, she cancels out, declines his invitation and tells me 'she would rather not do anything to celebrate her birthday, she didn't want people to know about it' . So i said 'ok, just let me know what you want to do, if you do want to, and where you want to go' Her reasoning was that 'she did not want to be in the same place with her/my friend, she doesn't like him' The friend decided instead to go to Maine for the weekend. The day of her birthday, she generally did nothing, no plans with me, and seemed rather upset at me anyway. When i called to wish a happy birthday, she seemed preoccupied, and let me go so she could take a shower (at 7pm?) Later that night, i get an IM saying 'he, and some others are coming over and we're going out, you're invited' Apparently, he had come home early and headed straight to her dorm. of course, at this time it was getting late, and my schedule didn't permit me staying out late. So i was angry and said 'so now you change the script without me!' That night i had trouble sleeping. the next day, i angrily go after work to her dorm, she told me that they, and some friends they met up with had went to a bar and a few of them gotten drunk. She said she was horribly drunk, and our 'friend' was pretty sloshed himself. They ended the bar thing at around 2am, and since her roommate was out for the weekend, he slept in the same dorm room with her, in a locked room. She said they did nothing, but talk and go in and out of sleep till he got up the next morning and left. But i'm still quite skeptical as he gets 'risque' when he's drunk. Anything could have happened. And this is a girl who pushed me out of her house when i got sleepy because her parents don't allow men to sleep over (i don't blame them) So now that i've vented, what should i think? I was angry for the past several days after her birthday and was terminally close to dumping her right there, because of several things: a) she made plans out of the blue that i couldn't get to. isn't it typical that a girl plans everything with her boyfriend? am i the unlucky one? this isn't the first time i brought that up about her. b) she slept in a closed room with another guy (she claims different bed). and i've never slept with her, not on my shift. Theres a curfew at her dorm for 1am that boys have to be out. I always got shoved out right before it. c) she wanted to avoid doing things with him, and in the end I, the boyfriend, gets screwd over! d) she's camera shy, i don't have a picture of her and me together, she refuses to have pictures taken and that night she said she posed with him at the bar for several pictures (intoxicated of course) Im steaming. What do you think? Am i being ridiculous?

Why kill yourself? Theres plenty of reasons why. The world is getting worse and worse. This supposed 'good times' that we live in is just a clean white sheet over the worst bedwet stain you can imagine. Except, theres nothing you can do, it just gets bigger. Are you actually hopeful about this world becoming a better place? Sure, the advent of quick communication and eNotAlone are life savers to some, but for those of us who see that even the best of the world has to offer, its still not enough. Whats worse is that you know you can never find someone to share your feelings of doom and gloom with. IF anyone has seen Donnie Darko... Here i am, 21, close to 22, and im sitting home on a Saturday night while everyone i know is out. I feel alone. And i should be. I never get invited anywhere. and sadly, if i think about it more...Its been this way as long as i can remember. Me being alone online or doing hw or watching dvds by myself is not a way to grow up. I realize how stupid i am socially, yet i'm very nice, and have alot in common with other people, i can hold a conversation, i compliment, i have a personality, i have manners, i even think about the people who have been left out and make sure theyre doing something. i have a degree of charms. And yet i hear about parties, or going out on daytrips and other places that most of my friends, even the most lonely of them, seem to get involved in. I'm never told about it. I find out days later when friend a and friend b talk about it in front of me. A girlfriend doesnt help. After spending 3 years getting to know your best friend, and thinking she's just right for me, i ask her out. She turns into a lazy bum. She goes out and has fun, and when i want to do things, she just wants to do things with just me at home. Doesn't hang out with me with groups of people, just me, by ourselves. I grew bored of her, she has nothing interesting about her (except 36DD's and nice poetry). I eventually gave up on her, or so i decided upon it on the night she ditched me to hang out with my friends. The next day as a birthday gift, gave her the nicest birthday gift i could give her, a 'c'est la vie, have a nice life' and threw her lovely photo on her doorstep. A year of me being a gentleman to her, ended up a year with no pictures of her and me because she was 'camera shy' Then came the daunting depressing task of starting to look for another girl, hopefully one who has interesting aspects (not physical). And you realize your campus is DRY. There are no decent girls - they all have nasty peircings, tattoos, and praise their god: the cell phone. The few that are decent are either a) lesbien b) taken or c) married. Every girl in between seem to be taken also. Where do you go? Then you're diagnosed with narcolepsy. You want to be socially active, but you're worried about falling asleep. You take many classes, you get A's , but studying is all you can do now. On top of that Cataplexy! YOu crack a joke, or reparte, and you find yourself weak kneed and covering up your reaction. Hopefully no one noticed. Someone is mean to you, you fear starting a fight, because cataplexy will make your punches weaker than a computer science dork's punch. So there goes going to bars, which you just turn legal for. Now, after all this, try having your dad lose his job. Your parents are poor begin with, now the breadwinner no longer takes home bread. You of course, are working part time, and going to school. Barely making ends meet for yourself, wishing you could do more...if only taht damn narcolepsy didn't debilitate you! On top of that , your 'friends' hold parties more often now, and this time they PICK the times you're working, so you can never show up. And worse, you'r invited. Then try to compete with your friends, they get nice paid internships that they do nothing in, and get paid 5 grand. You get an internship too...but you have to pay 1600, you learn nothing, you struggle to keep awake, you come home depressed, and your car starts to die from driving 50 miles each way. Your frineds have just bought new jettas, eclipses, hyundais. They don't have to worry about mommy and daddy having money. You wonder which bike will hold up long enough to get you to school which is 30 miles away. You commute, your friends are able to go to school far far away. Each fall you're alone again, naturally. You have the urge to move far far away, say, Idaho and live in a small town the rest of your life. You can't afford it. You can't mentally afford it as well. Nevermind how you'r gonna work when you fall asleep on the job, to which Walmart sounds like a viable answer. Church, all the supposed 'christian girls' you hope to go out with are all multiple time sluhts, they're baptized though, you'r not. The thought knowing if everyone died in that room taht same instant, they'd still go to heaven and you won't. Even though you can't think of many bad things compared to them. Im going to cut off right here, but i can keep going. To the point: IF you have incredibly bad luck, see no way out, see no hope in anything, even God, (exception is maybe his Wrath), then you have a viable reason to die. I mean, what else can you do? Your pawn can't move in any direction, theres a checkmate in each path. You look for an ejection seat, but you'r too scared to die. Whenever my parents hear about suicide and stuff, they babble on how its a coward way of doing things, and 'they're just messed up' . I tend to sympathize with those who want to die. They're the only people whom i can look in the eye and say 'i hope your dream comes true.' im tired, goodnight. lets pray for Co2 in my room.

First of all, if she's living with him and he's paying the cell phone bill, well, basically they're married and she should be open in that sorta relationship. I dunno, i could care less if you want to be 'private' if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fnucking hide, so show your 'love' that you have nothing to hide. If you want privacy, tell the lamer girl to get her own flat and pay her own cell. My parents tell me that as long as i live under their roof, their car, their phones, i abide by the open door policy. Its fair. Same thing with this girl, she lives under your roof, and especially your phone, so open it must stay! My girlfriend and i have this problem. We dont' live together, she's in school (dorming) and i go to another school (commute) but whenever i'm together with her she tries to sneak glimpses of who i've been trying to talk to in my cell, and when i do the same to hers, she slaps it away from me. So i slap mine out of her hands. Quid pro quo, beotch, tit for tat. And oddly everytime i sneak a peak,theres nothing 'sneaky' on her phone. Why be that way, i don't get it, its not like she grew up abused or anything? Continuing: She won't let me go on her laptop, won't let me check out her homework pages, won't let me go in her room. All because she 'wants me to pay attention to her.' However that rule changes (well, she changes it, i fight it) when its my stuff. Her trying to sneak a few minutes on my laptop if i go pee, or looking in my lyric notebook among other scattered mediums around my room/house. When i return, she does that 'quick cover-up' dance. Haha. And usually i say 'so been looking through my stuff? did you find (random girl's name) phone number? keep looking it may be in another piece of paper in here somewhere" see. THATS privacy violation. We don't live together. She violates my privacy, and gets pissed when i violate hers.

My girlfriend is about 30 miles away at college. She always claims loving me and being true to me and all that (bullship probably) . But for some odd reason, just like the poster of this topic, i get that odd feeling that somethings gonna happen. It keeps me sleepless and sometime i have to knock myself out with a little nyquil. She's really cute, and i KNOW guys are constantly looking at her and wondering 'why is she dating that little pip?' and quite frankly, i wonder the same thing...But anyway she has no trouble hanging out with her girlfriends who are very slustty, and im afraid she'll run into trouble with her friends. Interstingly, tomorrow night she's going for her 21st birthday with said friends to get sloshed. Picking a time that is impossible for me to hang out with her/them because i work saturday early mornings and she knows it. She even cancelled plans for earlier that day having a small bday party at my friends house ( a good male friend of hers) we're both put off, because im left out , he's left out, and its all pretty weak of her. And both him and i (among other friends i whined about her to) said 'her, drunk will probably end with her messing around with other, drunk males' I know she shruggs off men's advances when she's sober, but i've never had her drunk so i have no idea how she acts. and i'm very scared to find out.... of course, im not willing ot sneak and follow her, because quite frankly, if she does fool around, i probably won't catch her. I won't sneak to follow her, thats just creepy. No girl is worth wasting a few gallons of gas over, unless you're really serious about her. Nor will her girlfriends rat it out to me. THey're all very evil. I'll just have to rely on divine intervention. So, men, i advise you ALWAYS, unless youre married, to flirt with girls who will have no feasible connection with your girlfriend anyway at any given time, because it will be a kick in her canolis when shes messed around and you know it and you ask some random female friend to your next date ...but be chivalrous,don't use that second girl as a trophy to get back at yoru old girl, treat her right. she didn't do anything to deserve it....yet.