Openminded

Yes, you should forget. That shouldnt even be an issue really. Engagements really do come and go. He might not have taken engagement as seriously as you do. Fact of the matter is, he loves you now, and if you think he feels you are truly the one for him what does it matter? My first true love turned out to not be the right person for me. Heck, I am sure a lot of us felt that our first true loves were the ones we were going to marry. A lot of us come to realize that indeed, we were wrong. Love is a funny thing. How long was he engaged? How long was he dating her before he got engaged? There are a lot of people out there that dont have any idea what a person is like before they start living with them/hanging out with them on a daily basis. Then you see their quirks/problems. Regardless, he loves you now. He realized she was wrong for him, and then he found you. If hes willing to marry you, then he must have realized what makes him happy. So why worry about her?

ive never heard of that myself. No man is going to run to the hills over that.

Um, cold sores is a polite way of saying herpes. Canker sores might be what you are trying to think of.

You said "in my mouth". Are you talking about on your lips or actually inside your mouth? First off, herpes is rare to be inside of the mouth. Get it checked out, but dont be flipping out just yet.

Forget it. No way in the world are you ever going to get it from that. Especially around that time of your cycle. I dont think you can get an over the counter kind, but I may be wrong. Regardless....your worrying over nothing.

Dont under any circumstances "out" your friend on this one. I would sit him down, and tell him flat out that she just doesnt want him that way. Tell your girlfriend to be prepared to have him confront her, that way she can tell him the same. Tell him that you have nothing to do with her not having feelings for him. If he doesnt understand that, then tell him he can either learn to accept it, or move on. Your not going to be the middleman.

heartbroken_f I think you need to step back and take a look at yourself from a third person perspective. I know that that can be one of the hardest things in the world to do, but in times of crisis its the only way to be objective. Its obvious by just reading your post that you are an intelligent person. No reason to stop being intelligent at this point. Here you have a guy who has lied and cheated on you with someone else, and yet you are waiting around for what? There is a reason why they say "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Even if he did come back, you are going to be fighting trust issues for years. You need to start doing things for yourself, and only yourself. Whatever activities you find entertaining, go and participate in them. Especially the social/interactive ones, because you need new friends. Its amazing what a new set of friends can do for you in terms of coping with your ex. Do yourself a favor, and the new guys you meet too, and dont jump into something right away. You stated that you have met new guys, but you just cant commit anything to them because you miss the old one so much. Thats perfectly acceptable, and you shouldnt feel like you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy again. Go out with friends and have a good time. Eventually someone will turn up at a time when they will prove to be a missing piece to your puzzle. I dont remember how long you were in that particular relationship, but now you have a chance to do things that you could never have done before. Travel, meet new people, do new things. You owe it to yourself to put this man behind you. There are plenty of guys out there who wouldnt think of cheating on you. Go and find yourself, and realize all the great things that you have to offer to a man thats actually WORTHY. Time will heal your wounds heartbroken_f

I dont see how it is insulting??? Unless the guy you are sleeping with is someone you dont love. If you are sleeping with someone you dont love, then I think there are other issues.

1 in 4 people contract STDs every year... Give me a break. Show me the scientific proof on that one.

I would label you as a stalker. YOu really need to just talk to her first before you jump the gun. Just be yourself, talk about her instead of yourself. Appear to be genuinely interested in her, and she will get the hint.

Depends on the disease for me. Herpes Simplex 2, no I couldnt. HIV/AIDS - I dont think so. Depends on how contagious, and the effects. I dont want to wait and wonder whether I am going to contract something everytime I get busy. Especially with something as horrible as HS2 or HIV

Sounds like shes interested in you. PLay it smooth, email her...ask her if she wants to go out for something to eat sometime. Go for it, or you will regret it later.

Sorry myplague, but i dont think thats good advice. If his passion is playing in the band, then you cant expect him to give it up over a girl. Lets face it, relationships come and go. For him to drop out of the band, and then break up for another reason 2 years from now he will regret it for the rest of his life. If you try to give him an ultimatum over this, you will surely lose him. If you truly love him, and you think he loves you...then support him. If you think that if he "hit it big" that he would dump you to be promiscuous, then drop him before you put more time into him. My feelings are... that if you love him and the relationships going strong, whats the problem? Cant blame a man for having a dream.

Have to agree. Id say go for it, but expect pressure and let the other person know up front about your issues. Im in the same boat as that guy, but i dated the 2 girls for almost 7 years total. I am also 24. I am about as committed as they come, and at this point I think I know what it takes to make a relationship work. He might be the greatest guy in the world...lord knows I loved both of my ex's. Things happen, people change...experience can make a relationship work.

He is probably going through the same thing I am. My girlfriend decided that nothing would make her happier than to live somewhere else, travel, meet new people...just see the world. Problem is, I am not up to doing that and we dated for 3 years seemingly without problems (At least I thought.) Now, she admits that if she does come back, that she would just want to go back out travelling again. So I have been burned once, and I wont let it happen again. I would love to continue a relationship with her, but at what price? She obviously treats the relatinoship completely different than me. So you see, he probably wants you back, but doesnt want to take the risk, or put up with the bs. Unfortunately I dont know the whole story so I cant really say.

Absense in what respect? No contact, break up, ??? For all those who say do the no contact thing... there are certainly limits. For one, if you keep pulling the breakup/ no contact move eventually your partner is going to just cut the string.

Do you need a baseball bat taken to your skull first?

Let me state this, as I will admit that I look at porn more often than i probably should. If it wasnt for some other means of venting myself, I probably would have broke up with my girlfriend a long time before we actually did. Sex was always the biggest obstacle in the road for me. Fact is she just didnt want it enough... So unless you are meeting his every demands, then I dont think you should be saying anything. Now if you are the one who isnt getting satisfied, and hes off looking at it without you, then complain. Now if its something like male on male, or beastiality or something, and it makes you that uncomfortable...then you can say something. Have you even thought about watching it with him?

Rings dont mean anything. In fact he is entitled to getting it back, until they are married. So, I wouldnt even consider that an issue. Money certainly isnt everything, and unless you are expecting an expensive ring then whats the deal?

First off, try to speak English. Periods were created for a reason........so use them. Anyway, what you are going through is normal. I played the same bs when I was a kid. Got turned down by a girl who said she wanted to date me only to have her ask me out years down the road. Difference is I didnt want anything to do with that girl at that point. More than likely it probably wont work out if you tried, but you are young and have your whole life to look forward to. If thats what you want, go for it. Be prepared to get the same treatment back! Your best bet is to just not even approach this guy, sounds like you 2 have a shady history at best.

Check your PM's

Btw, spy away...better sooner than later. Dont be the victim ALOT of "meaningless IM friends" turn into relationship wreckers.

Oh man...that is absolutely suspicious. Doesnt talk to her, but the screename keeps changing. Some people go by the saying "if your going to snoop, then dont be surprised by what you see." I think that is BS! If he didnt talk to her, he would have removed her. She would not send a message like that out of the blue for nothing. He obviously had messaged her from somewhere for that response. The fact that he erased his history is proof that he has something to hide. I know because my ex did it to me all the time, until i found out that ICQ doesnt actually delete anything (at least it used to not delete, not sure anymore). So i opened the dat file in notepad and although it wasnt formatted I could skim through all of it. My ex-girlfriend doesnt like me talking to any girls online. I dont agree with it, and she gets very upset about it. Nothing has ever transpired when I did it, but Im not the one night stand type. I used to erase my history and have renamed my contacts to hide it. If I were you I wouldnt take it lightly!

MY girlfriend loves an area of the country about 2000 miles away from where we both grew up. She has vacationed there numerous times with her family, and I have been out there the last couple years. We have dated for over 3 years. She decided about 6 months ago she was going to move there. She wanted me to go, but my family/friends are here, and I believe she was asking for too much and heres why. 1.) She wasnt anywhere near a place where I could find an adequate job. 2.) She doesnt make enough money to support us if I had a less than adequate job. 3.) She didnt have a good job lined up, just a minimum wage deal and then a plan to look for something better. 4.) I couldnt live there year round Here is where the tough part comes in to play. And I feel like I cant have a decent conversatoin with my friends because they are all bias in some way or another. Before she left she was pretty sure she was coming back. Truth is she hasnt even looked for a job out there yet and its been a month...she only has 2 more months to find one. Now, I feel burned by this and I have been majorly depressed about it for a month. I feel like if she does come back, that I shouldnt just let things go back to being normal as I couldnt handle this EVER again. I also dont want to let my pride get the best of me because I love her and I am confident that she really loves me. The thing is, that she doesnt want to live in a boring place like we are at now, especially when she has seen paradise. What do I do, I dont want to lose her, but I cant handle this emotional scarring. We arent the breakup/makeup type...I learned a lesson from my last relationship from that one. Another thing is, after she said that she wanted to stay out there for good...i told her we should breakup before she left. Then when she changed her mind and said that she might come back I asked her what she thought about breaking up and she still thought it was a good idea. I feel pretty lost right now with no one to confide in. BTW I am in my early 20's and I have survived a breakup after a 3 1/2 year long relationship before. My pride destroyed that relationship as much as anything else...help me make the right decision