Meow18
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Everything posted by Meow18
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I realized that I deserve to be respected. If someone can't respect me, why should I give myself to them?
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First of all, welcome to Enotalone! You have to respect what your boyfriend wants. And it might hurt to hear that he wants to break up, but if that's the case, then you need to respect his choice. I'm sorry that you are feeling the way you are, but I don't blame you. But honestly, I think you deserve better than him. He's a sex addict and game addict? Are those issues that you want to deal with forever? Whatever happens, we will always be here for you.
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GREAT book if you want to rid your jealousy!!
Meow18 replied to netman's topic in Book Talk's Topics
Wow.. I think that many people could get help from that book! And it's great to know that it really helped you! Thanks for sharing it! -
That's a relief! And I agree with everyone else, I'm glad you are seeing a new doctor. Your old one was not a good match for you and it's important to have a doctor that you can trust and be excited with, especially at this time!
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I don't think you should text her that. Because what if she says it's not final? You already know that you aren't good for each other, so hearing that would only put you back where you started.. and you won't be happy with her actions in the relationship. You need to stick to no contact. It's normal to have these kinds of feelings, but you also need to realize that you deserve better than what she had to offer you, and you definitely deserve more respect than that! Loving and missing her is not enough to make a happy relationship..
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First of all, welcome to Enotalone! Honestly, to me it sounds like your boyfriend really is making changes. Instead of saying he will change and you never seeing it, you are seeing changes in him. And if he really is changing and hasn't cheated on you since, then this is a great step in the right direction. But honestly, I'm worried about you. I'm not sure if you will ever be able to forgive and forget. And really, I wouldn't blame you. You just don't forget about the times when someone who supposedly loved you hurt you so bad. Right now I'm sure you are still having a hard time with trusting him, right? Do you think that there will ever be a time when you can trust him again 100%? A healthy relationship needs trust. A healthy relationship needs honesty and when there isn't honesty, the trust goes way down. I mean, really, how do you know he honestly hasn't cheated on you since, or how do you honestly know he's not lying about something else. The truth is, you don't. And since he's already broken that trust, how could you? You need to ask yourself if you can ever really forgive him for what happened? And that means not bringing it up and getting hurt by it. It means to start over with your feelings and allow yourself to trust him again. If you can trust him, and you know deep down that he really is changed, then I would say that you can have a healthy relationship. But if not, then I would say that no matter how much you cared about him, you will never be completely happy and you will always resent him for what he did. And you deserve better than that.
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I agree with rose2summer. Not every girl leads a guy on. But some do. Some just like the attention they get from it. But if it was me, I have learned that it's hard to even be friendly towards a guy who likes you because he will interpret that as flirting. So could it be possible that you are mistaking friendliness for something else? I mean, if she has told you she's not interested, then she's not no matter what other actions she might be showing. So perhaps if it's misleading you, then you need to try no contact for a little while?
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I think no contact is best. I really do think that it will help you get over her easier. Although it won't be easy no matter what, it will be easier when having no contact.
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She only calls you a few times a day? Gosh, I thought once a day was normal.. But anyways, it sounds like she wants personal space and time to herself. That doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you or want to be with you, it just means that she wants to still be happy with herself and have her own life too. But of course, there's no excuse for making you feel unimportant. If she wants to be committed to you, then she needs to show it. She needs to want to talk to you and see you. To have a healthy relationship, you both need to show each other that you love each other. But you also need to spend time apart. Go out and enjoy your friends and have a boys night with your friends! I can't tell you who's at fault here. I don't think it is normal for couples to spend every waking moment together, but that's my own opinion. You need to have a serious talk with her about how you feel. And if she's not giving you what you want, then maybe there's nothing you can do besides break off the relationship.
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It's hard to say why she made the choices that she did. Only she knows that.. or maybe she doesn't even know. The point is, that's who she has chosen to be and you have realized that it's not who you want to be with. And that's all that matters right now. That's great that you have booked a holiday! I hope you have a great time!
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Good for you kb109! Sometimes being in a relationship means risking getting a broken heart. But it sounds like you are happy and that's never a bad thing!
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Honestly, I think you might need to make it obvious. He's just not getting the hint otherwise.. It's always hard with shy people, but one of you is going to have to force yourself.. and I have a feeling it won't be him. I don't know, I would try asking him to hang out sometime outside of work. If he's interested in you, he would probably say he would like to. So I guess you can see where that takes you. Good luck! And keep up updated!
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That's great! Keep us updated!
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What you do is just take time to become happy with yourself. You will miss her, but that's all part of the break up process. You don't need to start dating other people and you don't need to worry about what will hurt her feelings anymore. If you meet a new girl that you think you might be interested in, then why not see where things might go? But until then, just worry about yourself. Break ups are hard, but on the bright side they do get better! You will feel better, maybe not in a couple days, but I think in a couple weeks you will find that you are thinking about her less and less. Just keep yourself busy. Go out with friends and have fun! Also, I think it helps to write about your feelings, so you can either write here or write in a journal or something..
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She will get more comfortable with you, especially in public. Just give her time and be patient! She's just shy and sometimes it's hard for shy people to open up and show their feelings especially in public. It's great that you are being so supportive! Just give it time and she will open up a lot more with you!
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I would say no. I wouldn't want to lead a guy on in anyway if I wasn't interested. And I have learned that sometimes even if you say you aren't interested, sometimes just going to a movie with them will lead them on. So I would probably say no in a nice way.
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I agree with the others. She needs to see a doctor as soon as possible.
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First of all, welcome to Enotalone. It seems like you and your wife want different things right now and that's not an easy thing to handle in a relationship. I wonder though, why you think that you can't still have dreams while having a child? I mean, so many people have children, but that doesn't mean they have to give up the things they really want in life. You can still go to the places you want to go. Maybe not in the next couple of years, but there's always the possibility of doing those things one day. In my opinion, you just have all these negative feelings towards children. But a baby isn't a life and dreams wrecker, a baby is just another responsibility. Does her other child live with you? What role do you have in this child's life?
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Wow. That's really interesting Scout. It really makes you think.. Thanks for sharing!
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I don't think there is a minimum amount of time you need to be together. I do think that it's important that you really know the other person. And it's also important that you know that you really mean it before saying it. So, maybe he really feels it. But in your case, you just aren't sure yet. It does seem a little soon. But honestly, actions always speak louder than words. He could think he means it, but his actions are far more important. So unless he can be a jerk and treat you disrespectfully, then don't worry to much about it.
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If he loves you, I don't think you would come off as a freak. It might catch him off guard, but I think it's important to let the other person know what you like and what turns you on. And who knows, he might like it too!
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First of all, welcome to Enotalone! I think that it was wrong of her to cheat on you so many times and then the second you do it, she leaves you. But in a way, I don't blame her. Afterall, when you took her back, you chose to forgive her. You might never have forgotten, but you have to forgive if you want to take them back. And she's just not willing to forgive what you did. But you know, I don't think either of you are good for each other. She disrespected the relationship so many times that it just seems like your relationship lost it's meaning. I don't think either of you were 100% happy with who the other person was. I think you need time to get over your pain. I can tell that you are hurting over this and I think it's time to let go of the idea that you and her should be together because no matter how many times you try, it's just not the case. We will always be here for you when you need to talk.
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It sounds like she just doesn't know what she wants. And it sounds like you both want different things. She would be happy with just being friends with benefits, but you want more right? You have to respect her choice if she doesn't want a committed relationship with you. That's just her own choice. But that also means that if you can't handle just being friends, then you might have to step back for awhile and do no contact. At this point she just seems confused, but the worst thing you could do right now is try to force something on her.
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Is your boyfriend still wanting to spend less time with you, or was that just a cover up for what was really bothering him (the fight with his family about you)?
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Well, he's 30 years old, so it's a good thing he stood up for you and what he wants! It seems kind of odd that all this stuff would suddenly come up. I mean, it seems like his family just wants to have a reason to not like you so they have to make things up or something. Or maybe they really do feel that way, I don't know. It's never too late to try to set things right with his mother. I mean, think about it, she's always going to be in his life. And you might as well try to get along with her right? I mean, maybe you and her will never click, and maybe you will never be best friends, but you can still respect each other. So why not try to be the bigger person and say something to her about it? So, my advice would be to email his mom and say what you want to say, and definitely be polite in it. I mean, don't go accusing her of hating you and saying rude things about you cause that will only make it worse. But let her know that you would like to start over with her and try to develop a good relationship with her.