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isisastaria

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  1. isisastaria
    Hey! work at a children's center (is there somewhere you can volunteer?) This got the "I want more babies now" out of my system. I work for an organization in childcare and they give me a free membership in return. Not only was I reminded how much WORK kids are, I get to bond and hold them when they need me. I think it's win win! I agree 100% with BellaDona. You push, he runs. You run, he WILL come your way!!! This just happened involuntarily with my fiancee. I decided I might just wait another few years until I get another degree. He came home one day after work ...TEARFUL...saying he wants kids right away when we get married. He saw a daddy holding his tiny daughter proudly and it melted his heart to think of waiting. In addition, what are his REASONS for wanting to wait longer? Usually it's the needed and very logical "providing male" instinct."
  2. isisastaria
    Well, I think it can be common for families to be nosey because they feel responsible. They think that baby is part of their family and it's their job to help. Are you sure they are just being judgemental? Maybe they are just trying to help. I know when I had my kids it was nothing as I expected. The plan was to go back to work...do this and that...work it out perfectly. With my son I took him to daycare while I went to school full time. He unfortunately didn't do well in school thereafter. That was around the time the state sent out notices to be distributed by all childcare facitilies their new findings. This was that full time child care children do not do as well emotionally or academically as their peers with a stay-at-home parent. I was so disturbed by this incident, I stayed home with my next child and this child has done exceptionally better than my first. This is why I think it's great you have your parents to help and that you can work from home part time!!!! I just really hope all goes as planned. Babies don't sleep and they actually bring a parent's life expectancy rate down quite a bit!! (Doesn't mean it isn't worth it). Maybe these nosey relatives are just worried that things may be harder than you are anticipating (happens with every first time parent). You are in fact a first timer, right? LOL I would say, "Thank you". And then tell them you heard them. Let them know you have considered it. Heck! Tell them they are right!!! It doesn't mean they are!!! Just don't participate in such dysfunction!
  3. isisastaria
    TRUST ME you do not want to pressure him into being a father if he isn't ready. You will end up being alone in the whole "having kids" affair and all you'll get from him will be, "See, I told you I didn't want to!" And you know what? He will be right.
  4. isisastaria
    Okay...we've talked and talked about it. We found that my root fear has to do with being alone and abandoned. The whole issue, really...is that I found out he had been looking at online dating sites and my fear (not necessarily a fact), is that he would eventually leave me if it got bad enough. I have been a young mother...left for another woman. I hope to never be in that sitiuation again. The very core of your survival is at stake at that point...you feel extremely vulnerable to ever really trust again. But most people have issues with trust. I don't care to be a victim or use excuses. Fact is, that is my core fear. In addition, during a conversation about this issue, he began making comments he's never made before such as "I don't want to marry you now". Although he said it out of anger, it sat with me and added to my fears and insecurities. Now he understands me and knows these things. I have stopped any sort of snooping or paranoia (thanks to you guys!) And now he knows the root of my paranoia...he has been reassuring me that he won't leave and has no desire to. We want children/a child. I don't want to be left alone to do everything ever again. We have a pre-marital psychiatrist. He suggested instead of making this about him and his actions (which puts him on the defense...) I need to make this about MY emotions and insecurities so he understands i am not blaming him. I tried this last night and for the first time in a couple of months I woke up with peace. I really think we have come to an understanding and It makes me so happy!
  5. isisastaria
    The idea of logic vs. emotion varies so much from person to person. I took a test in a psychology class on emotional vs. logical. I fell right in the middle. Some guys took it and were on the emotional side. We're all unique. Women are labeled more emotional due to the fact we ARE more emotional on average around the time of our menses. But men have the same 28 day cycle we do...just subtract the mechanics. They are shown to get moody on a cycle just like us. Go figure. That whole concept is blown out of the water.
  6. isisastaria
    You know, I have come to a realization that men should not be expected to be LIKE women because the very core of men and women's brains are physiologically wired differently. This is definitely not to say that any insensitivity or any form of abuse is justified. I think this just makes getting to an understanding or compromise between men and women can be very difficult. One thing I have learned from my fiancee is that he is not the enemy. He is my teacher. I have learned from observation that he is not a man of many words (as most men), but he is a man of many EMOTIONS. He is sensitive and caring about subjects. He is very intelligent. He seems to express anger because that is more acceptable when he is hurt emotionally than to seem weak and cry. This is unfortunately taught to (at least American) men from a young age. Most men have a huge spectrum of feelings and thoughts that just go unmentioned. They do not have the same conversations as women do when they are in all male groups. We are very different. Peace between the sexes will not happen until both parties stop taking things personally from each other. Women do seem overly emotional to men because we talk so much more than men. Women also accuse men of being insensitive and uncaring. I just don't think that serves either party. What will serve everyone, I believe, is to be as understanding and as acceptable as possible. That kind of thing can bring peace to nations
  7. isisastaria
    Same with my fiancee and I! Wow! I'm 29 and everyone gets wide eyes when they find out. They never fail to tell me I don't look over 24 or 25. My fiancee has been told he looks 19 or 20. You must take good care of yourself. We don't drink or use any tobacco or even a lot of caffeine. It really stops the aging on the brain as well (an assumption).
  8. isisastaria
    I can relate...here's the kicker....I modeled to get through college!!! LOL We all have insecurities, and believe me I have mine. Just do things that make you feel good about yourself. If you feel good when you get in a good run or weights or whatnot...do that. If you feel good just practicing a sport or going out with friends...do that to give you a boost. It might backfire if you lean completely on your SO. Make sure you have everything you need so you two can have a partnership...not one always leaning on the other.
  9. isisastaria
    I think you said it from the beginning. You knew what you were getting into. My ex-husband got into a relationship with a much younger woman and for him it was an absolute nightmare. I felt extremely bad for him considering the work and emotions he put into a rel. where it was all maturity on his part, and just games, and wishy washy insecurities on her part. Sex seems to have a huge hold right around your.....um....throat. So I would say...tell her you want to see other people and do just that. NC Good luck on that one. BTW- You might be the type of guy who feels younger than your biological age. Is that true? My fiancee and I both feel a lot younger than ours. I found we work out well since both ages match. Does that make sense?
  10. isisastaria
    This will strengthen you...just don't look at the messages anymore. You're just torturing yourself...trust me I know how it is. I just got my backside kicked by people on here and I'm so glad I stopped what I was doing.
  11. isisastaria
    just read my signature.....
  12. isisastaria
    YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT!!! Should I tell my friend who's brother died? Do you think that will hurt or help?
  13. isisastaria
    Look what I found when researching the subject online! (e) Being molested when young? This is another old idea without any credible data. It comes from the mistaken assumption that people are innately heterosexual, but are "converted" to homosexuality through bad experiences, or through exposure to other homosexual persons during their formative years. It is contradicted by the increasing evidence of a biological basis for homosexuality. It is also contradicted by the fact that the vast majority of homosexual persons do not have any experiences of being molested, just like the vast majority of heterosexual persons. Of the unfortunate few who have been molested by others of the same sex, some have turned out to be homosexual, while others have turned out to be heterosexual. Of those who have been molested by people of the opposite sex, some have turned out to be homosexual too, but others heterosexual. No observable pattern has ever been shown.
  14. isisastaria
    BTW-just love your adorable sexy little frame. People are very attracted to that.
  15. isisastaria
    I have had the same issue since I was born. I think the only way to "treat your condition" is to do exactly what RayKay said. My way of getting more "bulk" to my legs was having a baby!! I know that sounds like I got "fat"...but that isn't the case. I did gain a little weight from my babies...but walking with them in a stroller up and down hills bulked up the muscles in my legs a little. I am not saying to go have babies! LOL But maybe there is something similar you can do to get a little more muscle in a way that compliments your scedule. Good old fashioned exercise and consumed (highly absorbable) protein is my guess. Good luck!!!
  16. isisastaria
    Thank you so much, sonjam! You've educated me about your situation and it has helped me to understand this is a normal reaction and can be expected!
  17. isisastaria
    You seem very educated on the subject, Dako. You have good insight since you've worked very closely with them. I have reservations with the idea that they are thrown into jobs without proper safety or protection legally. I feel that is also taking advantage of them. How is this a win-win situation?Their children seem to have a really rough time in school. They seem lost and confused, very shy and withdrawn. Thing is, you're right. They have a very good work ethic. Problem is, they also have issues with identity theft. They mess the system around so much that the government has a rough time even tracking a criminal record (never mind their finances). And the whole loss financially for the US isn't even figured correctly since the identity theft or "borrowing" in the culture is so prevalent.
  18. isisastaria
    Yes! I am angry at ANYONE who screws the system. Unfortunately ...they are well known for it.
  19. isisastaria
    Hi everyone! I have a question. I have always been good friends with ALL races of people. As a matter of fact, I have BEST FRIENDS who are a) mixed african american b) Mexican American (one of my favorite type of people) c) Adopted sister who is chinese, filipino, white mix (we are best friends). I also have very good friends who live in Spain and I visit them every couple of years. My issue comes when (now I have talked to many people who share the same view) I go to take my children to school, and their classes are overcrowded with children who don't know english. They do not get the proper education because the schools can't fund extra help for the ridiculously large classrooms. The jails are congested with illegals who are breaking the law over and over. We pay 40,000 dollars and up every year PER inmate in tax dollars to jail them. The amount of illegals (esp in calif.) is the highest per year than it's ever been in American history. I have also been sexually harassed by the men of this culture since I was 12 years old on numerous occasions. I feel very strongly about this and want to help anyone in need. I just don't know how to help these people. It is estimated that if this continues at this rate, the US could become a 3rd world country in the years to come. Do I need a serious attitude adjustment? Really.... I have never treated one person of this race with disrespect. I actually love my good friend who is part of this culture. My kids literally think her family are "angels". Her mother and sister do not know english, but this is the impression my kids get from them with language barriers. This is how I feel. It is part of me. I have the courage to say something about it. Can you all tell me if I'm just a big racist? I know I love people and want to help them as much as I can. Can I have your honest opinion? It's so appreciated.
  20. isisastaria
    I think I feel a little healing coming on!!! BTW...same goes for me. If anyone needs me, I'm here. I've done life coaching and I can do that for you gals if you want.
  21. isisastaria
    Akatea: ARE YOU KIDDING? You ARE a hero. You saved many other women from the pain you experienced!!! Your pain created a stop to harm. You need to get that! Why aren't you entitled to praise? You are!
  22. isisastaria
    Eva: My child's grandfather is from NZ. I do understand a little more about his culture when I communicate with you. Thanks
  23. isisastaria
    My cousin was such a beautiful person. She wanted to be a model. She kind of got sucked into all that and started doing a lot of drugs. It went down hill from there
  24. isisastaria
    Wow! That is really interesting! It is only legal in one state in the US and it's really looked down upon here.
  25. isisastaria
    I have heard theories that sometimes these things can come up if a relationship with your mother is troubled or very distant.
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