isisastaria

I think everyone has been or will be there sooner or later. At least you are pondering .... that says a lot. You aren't blind, you aren't in denial, you are questioning things that will help you grow. Good for you...what do you love in this world? Can we focus on that? Can you put your energy into positive things?

I agree with DN. I would also make sure you stop before attempting any sort of relationship. It can be called an "addiction". Like any addiction, it needs to be avoided at all costs and replaced with another coping mechanism or action ( hopefully positive). This is serious, as it does mean your life can be at risk....

Thank you for that. That makes a lot of sense. He is going away for a while as well and I have been deemed his "computer storage". His future absense is not working well with my heart, either....

Maybe I wasn't clear...he suggested it...not I. He really wants to stop and thought that would be the best way to stop. But I DID agree to it.](*,) Thank you for your insight. I will definitely consider the basis of your point.

A question: It could be just a crush and from what I understood.. completely non-sexual, right?

Have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale? It might clarify a little. You are young and are going through something EXTREMELY NORMAL Click on this link for a little more info: link removed

By the way, holidays alone? Where are your parents? I can relate to that one too!!

I just happen to have two kids. I feel the same way, but it is not uncommon for people to get isolated when they do. You are obviously in a different life situation than I am. Research seems to show a trend in college students and isolation. Everyone came from somewhere else (most of the time). It can be rare to see an old school friend if you've travelled to a new location. The dating thing is a little suspicious, but all the answers lie in yourself. You know all the answers to the very question you are asking. I think you just need to look at and accept them. Does the opposite sex make you feel embarrassed? Do you have a lot of anxiety around girls? Shyness is NOT something WRONG with you. As a matter of fact, many girls appreciate a guy who isn't boisterous or loud. ( My fiancee claims he is shy and didn't have a serious gf until he met me a few years ago). Look at how YOU feel about the situation and what YOU need. You are asking the question, so to me it seems you do have a void there. I have a homework assignment for you...look at all the definitions of "intimacy" Then ask yourself, "Would being intimate with another human being (particularly female) scare me?" Then ask yourself, "Do I know how to do that?"

Thanks for helping! I am engaged and have been in a relationship with my fiancee for 3 years now. I talked to him about an old concern I had. It was porn. I don't want to be involved in it as a couple ( I have a child and we are both religious-by the way that doesn't mean judgemental). He had been looking at porn and admitted it. We agreed he should bring his computer over to my place, so there wouldn't be worry or temptation. That seemed like a good idea. Now I'm like a rabid posessed animal trying to track everything he ever did on the computer. I also found in his email address book ( he gave me the psswd) a girl's email address that he met through an online dating site years ago. She had naked pics up on one of her profiles. It was gross. He said she was on there because she changed an email address and invited all her old contacts on her messenger to her new email address. She started talking to him one time and it automatically puts the person's email address in your email address book... There have been a few other things he has lied about. I was hoping to build trust in our relationship, and now this. Can anyone give me some advice on how to start building trust again? He moved out a year ago after a long distance relationship. I have a ring, but feel lilke I can't trust him ... I have been extremely depressed and angry with him. On the other hand, we share a lot of love and affection, and he is a great guy.....