candy604

i heard of a true story where this husband used to abuse his wife. The preacher told the wife to take a frying pan and hit the husband really hard while he was asleep during the night. So now he doens't know when he'll be hit if he hits his wife. Case closed. no more hitting. Maybe you should try that, apparently it worked from what i've heard.

wow i think you should call it off until he's fully recovered. He's phyiscally abused you, what could be next? DON'T COOK OR CLEAN ANYTRHING MORE to please him! he's taking advantage of you!! I'm with my bf for 3 years, i never heard such a thing as cookin gand cleaning and trying to please to make a person happy. If he loves you, he would not treat you like this at ALL. He's the psycho one here and it's not normal. You are the normal person in the relationship. But i'm scared for you, very scared you'll go through more damage. I can't believe you'd take this crap from someone, don't be low and let urself get abused. It's mentally and physically unhealthy for you. YOu will end up one of those wife whose depressed, low self-esteem, phyiscally abused etc..it's a terrible future!! hey his true colours are showing. this is what you'll be treated like if your married with him. People are nice when they first meet you and are in a relationship but knowing them is a different story. happened to my mother, my dad was so sweet etc..never yelled, never swore, romantic, and once they were married,..you can imagine, he was like your finance, almost to the tee. it's better now, but it's still horrible at least my dad doesn't break things anymore, but the name=calling, blaming etc..still happens. You wonder where the sweet man went eh. It's a facade, you probably won't get the sweet man back b/c that's not who he is. You really should find someone with a good temper. There are plenty of nice men out there! People like that even though they admit it won't change, it's really hard to. I remember my uncle treated his first wife like crap ( abused her alot) and she left him. He learned and now he's married again and it's a wonderful marraige. Maybe a lesson like that. But you know, if he's calling you names, hitting you etc..you have ot stand up for yourself and get out of the relationship. I can tell you 100% you'll be very unhappy in marriage, very.

I agree with rmpavlock, people who are controlling, blame others and think they are right are very hard people to live with ( my dad is like that towards my mom).

instead of winning can you guys agree to disagree? so there's no loser or winner in an argument.

sorry..but you are only 20 years old..that's soo soo young. You really should think of marriage later on in life. Your bf isn't mature enough to eve consider getting married. Marriage is a big big step in life. I just don't think you two are ready for that.

what type of person are you? personally i'd go with someone that shares a similar interest or likes as me.

i'm glad you made that decision. Honestly your will be ex-husband is very selfish,he can't have both woman and his love isn't true b/c he already has his heart on another woman. What he has isn't precious,it's lost. So glad to hear you are moving on!

it's a learning experience! but the letter is so sweet, just forgive her she realized what she did hurt you and was wrong. Don't give up! relationships are never perfect,there will always be some disagreement, fights etc..but that's part of life.

tell her you like to make her things and do romantic stuff instead of buying expensive gifts b/c it shows more thought. ( but u can always buy something nice for her bday and xmas gift!) But i don't think your being stupid b/c personally hearing about an ex got her that and this isn't something you should hear. you aren't crazy! i'd feel hurt too if my bf said that stuff to me.

ask her about this, ask her about her values and whether she thought the relationship was going to fast? maybe she has some past she's hiding from you. do you two talk about your relationship? she should be open and honest if anything bothers her. Some girls just hide it and it comes out negatively. tell her you need to talk about the relationship and ask her what's bothering her etc....if you get no where, take a break from the relationship.. You sound like a wonderful man by the way. ask..i used to be all over my bf but then it stopped after a while b/c things just annoyed me to bits n i was angry almost all the time with him.

haha i actually told my bf i post about our problems. outsiders can give incite and actually help! my bf then saw how he was wrong in the relationship and tried to stop what he was doing to me. it's not like we know you in person, your still anyomous to us. i don't see why he'd get so upset.

if she thinks she wants to kill herself and stuff, she needs to see someone about it.I'm just wondering are you able to adopt a kid if you can't have children? That's another option.

the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. I've seen people consumed by just making money and being obssessed with it, it can lead a person into something they don't want to become.

Jonah5678 sorry to hear bout your parents divorce, it's hard. But you can always change yourself to be a good person. If you know cheating is wrong, don't do it and i'm glad you understand from the advice we told you. Alot of children hate what their father or mother does or is, but eventually follow the same pattern. I don't know why. but keep good reasoning with you and be strong!

hrmm that she can train u by bringing you almost to when your gonnna come but then stop and do it again, so you can control it ( hand job i guess can help achieve this).

or maybe you can ask a counsellor on how to approach your husband ( they can give you some tips?) ave you told him his porn is degrading to women, it's digusting and it hurting you. Would he care if you look at naked men? ( say it's reversed situation) and that you loved porn too. how would he feel? Your boss is terrible too..i feel sorry for the both of you. Yeah print out the dr.phil article too, show it to him.This isn't normal and he's just looking at garbage.

sigh...well now you know, if it doesn't work then call it quits, can't live in fear and it's hurting you. Don't let him sweet talk you b/c u'll just be wasting another few years hoping things will change when you know they won't. Don't take anymore promises and such, you can find a man that will treat you well. yeah it's one big cycle. Bottom line is he doesnt' respect or love you. Irrational people in rage are terrible ( living with my dad, i know, my mom would have divorced him long ago, but she has no financial earning power). We children want to move out soon.

Adam wasn't like that though. the world's gone nuts! anyway can you show him the dr.phil article?

yeah don't cheat, cheating never helps a relationship. NEVER. Read all the posts here how people thought it would help, but in the end their relationship is still a diaster. Illogical thinking. It won't help you mentally, and it's a really odd way to recover. Normal people would result to talking it over, reasoning with themselve about the situation. Called "problem solving". Break it off if you don't want a relationship. No one wnats a relationship where another person wants to be a cheater. That's something very low a person could stoop to. Be a man and resolves things maturely! let her past be her past. Everyone has a past but it depends what they do now. Don't copy her behaviour just to be in the same boat, you'll feel guilty and be known as a cheater ( to urself). If you can go threw with it now, what makes you think you won't be able to do the same in hte future? Please think about it. If she's not cheating on you, then that's great. You're not married, go find another girl who has a better past if you're worried. My friend has prolly slept with over 20ish girls, but he's happy with his gf of 3 years now and she doesn't care b/c you know what, it's not what he did in hte past, but what goes on in their relationship NOW. Another thing, my friend and her bf ( now-ex bf) went out for about 1.5 years, he lied to her about his virginity to her. Of course she was fuming but you know what, doesnt' mean she has the right to go out and cheat b/c she was bothered. That's ludacrius behaviour. Good luck, please don't! I always say, somehow the truth will come up one way or the another, no one can really hide their secrets. Using her if she can sleep with someone else she's known for 3 hrs or something, doesn't give you a reason to cheat or as an exception to your relationship. Hurt and mad, yes, but other than that you can't use that as an excuse to cheat. She was not in a relationsip then remember!! very important, she was not in a relationship with you yet. 6 years gone by, you and her have done great. Ask yourself of those 6 years that passed : you have a good relationship? Why do you people want so many partners before they get married, that's not hte aim of life. I'd be so happy to find the one right off the bat, it's not all about sex.

yeah are you able to get the restraining order back on him? that's so scary, i'm really worried about you. Stay strong and keep again. You deserve someone that is loving and caring and a person who'd be a good role model for your children. Children are affected by parental abuse ( even though it may not be direct to them). I am a victim of one and it's hard. Coming from a family whose like the guy you mentioned, my dad is irrational and crazy when he's in rage but sweet when he's calm. it's hard to live with and it's affecting us all. Yes his abuse won't change, it's very unhealthy and you need to protect yourself and children away from this man. Don't let him sweet talk you and apologize b/c ur just telling him " its okay that i'm doing this to her, she'll bounce back." Don't give him, he's just out of his mind. Imagine if you got married, life would be hellish and depressing with that sort of man. GET a restraining order put back in! or move out, MOVE out and just block him. I did see one time this lady contacted dr.phil for help b/c her bf was abusive, a big stalker, and a cheater. Dr.phil advice was for him to leaveher alone ( stop bothering hte family) and get help. You have to realize, this man does not love you. He needs help, but he must leave you alone. Remember your not married, you can and have the will to end the relationship. Don't let your life slip away with living in fear and putting your children in danger. They will be affected emotionally and possibly could copy a bad behavior they see when they grow up ( even though they don't want it). Be strong, move out or lock ur door, get a restraining order put back in. Make some new guy friends or something! Name-calling, he's trying to get control over you and getting you to submit to him. It's wrong and no one in the world deserves to put up with crap like that.

yes he's very childish and you need to find someon else worth your time. Shows what type of man he is and I feel sorry your children and you have to go through this.

Okay I just have to vent. I think my family is nuts. My parents argue every day almost and it's not quiet arguing. It's loud and even my neighbours can hear it. So embrassing...anyone else face this? In our old neighbourhood, about 10 houses can hear them yelling.It's basically my dad b/c he has such a loud voice. I don't know what to do b/c my dad has a really bad temper ( used to throw things around when he was mad, punched my mom before etc..). Calls my mom degrading names sometimes ( like stupid, crazy, nuts,) Very critical. Both my parents come from an abused childhood and my grandparents are terrible parents. Also alot of our relatives ( aunts and uncles) are critical, exagerrate, and they put down my parents. It hurts and sometimes and I don't know what to do.

i don't see a problem with a girl asking out a guy or intiating contact or a date. I did that b/c my bf was shy and such..it worked out in the end! I asked him out on a few days, made the first call, hehe. It's a change Some guys are shy they can't even get any girls b/c they are afraid of rejecting or they just don't know what to do. I've talked to a few guys about that n read on threads where guys just don't have the balls to ask girls out b/c they are so scared.

ah i see. yah me either, but my bf lives in the basement so the parents don't bother us. But around school some people are just not comfortable. Holding hands should be okay though?? i know some couples who just don't even touch each other in public they just look like tehy are friends. Odd but i guess that's them. Maybe you can ask her why? or maybe it's her comfort level lol.

benita i'm glad you did what you did! good for you, you don't deserve someone like that, seems like porn is his passion and your not his #1 priority. He can live on in his dream world and he already cheated on you. It tells you what type of person he is. Don't look back, find someone who is faithful and isn't a porn addict thanks for sharing your story of how porn can ruin a relationship. When will guys learn?