kamurj
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Everything posted by kamurj
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I think it best you find yourself a lawyer. After 30 years of marriage, he cannot just take everything away from you. There are laws for this. Seek help!
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he wants the baby I think it will be devastating!
kamurj replied to kamurj's topic in Relationship Advice
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HE WALKED OUT ON ME AND MY 9 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FOR HIS EX-WIFE. THEY WERE MARRIED FOR ONLY 2 YEARS WE WERE MARRIED FOR 11. NOW HE DOES NOT WANT TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT AND I AM VERY UPSET. THE EX-WIFE AND I USED TO TALK ON THE PHONE BECAUSE SHE AND MY HUSBAND SHARE A 17 YEAR OLD. THE EX USED TO CALL ME WHEN MY HUSBAND WOULD NOT GIVE HER DAUGHTER THINGS SHE NEEDED. I WOULD SPEND THE MONEY AND SEND IT. I FEEL USED AND STABBED IN THE BACK BY THEM BOTH. OUR DAUGHTERS ARE SISTERS HOW CAN THEY HAVE ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP AFTER THIS.
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Oh Angel Wings. Go get a 1-800 number and a credit card to speak to yourself. You sound like a commercial ambulance chaser looking to exploit immature adults. I can't believe there are people like you who cant give out of your heart but rather see people for money. Your type makes people sick.
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There is no other way than to just say it with words. Being afraid to look the person in the eye and say "I don't think we can go on meeting one another anymore" is always a tough thing to do. Look at it this way. At some point you have to do it so might as well do it quickly and do it now. The longer you hold out, the worse it will be on the guy. As of your friends, they still will be there for you IF they are your friends. You have to speak for yourself with your own actions and not worry about how others perceive you. As you grow older, these little "clics" will mean nothing to you because it will be your spouse who will be your main "clic". Choose the right guy and treat him right. As a guy myself, try to look at it from his point of view - he's in love with you (and maybe too much too fast). Guys get that way sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that. It may be uncomfortable to you because you are not used to it. But this is part of a relationship/marriage - to have someone always there for you... his qualities are superb for that. You are just more independent and need "space". So communicate that with him FIRST before you decide to end it. Give him a chance and work with it. Never dump someone without tryiing and sharing your ideas/thoughts.
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Being remarried, you have to wonder why you hated the man in the first place. Looking at issues from the past doesn't let you move forward. Those are things that keep one locked into "excuses". If your husband is an alchoholic, drug user, etc, then my suggestion is that he will always be. Why? Because its a matter of YOUR trust. Being divorced from a wife who had drug problems myself, I can tell you that its NOT an easy thing to swallow. You give a person a chance and if they screw up, then its up to you to call it off. Once chance. Be true to yourself because life is much too short to live unhappy when there are other people in the world that can give you the life you always dreamed about. And thats the key... dream again. Don't let them dissipate with someone who squashed them.
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Being a separated (and now divorced) male I can sympathize with your message. Right now you are feeling rejected or vulnerable. This is due to loss of a loved one or all the range of emotions one goes through in such a case. The best thing to do for yourself is this: Get a piece of paper out and pen Right down in column A "Why I love this man" Right down in column B "Why I don't love this man" Sit down in a quite place, alone, and away from everything except your thoughts. Take a entire day to do this and really think about things. If you find column B having more reasons than column A, then you answered your own concerns.
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What the hell were you thinking man? Your guilt in this matter is something you will have to live with the rest of your life. Coming to an open forum asking that people say "its ok" is asking for you to do it again. Go to church, treat your wife with respect and never even put this thought into your head. Your sins will be revisited by God and you will need to try to convince him that you are worthy of reprieve. This will require alot of work on your part.
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Your problem at the moment is that she is off in her own world doing her own thing. It would be unfair for you to ask her to drop everything she is doing now, for the sake of being with you. A woman with self independence is a good thing. In the long run, it is good for you too if you choose to marry when both of your agendas are on track. Right now, concentrate on becoming independent. Do express your feelings with her to give her an opportunity to discuss her love for you. Its best that you know this now before you get overly involved. If there is any sentiment towards you, then communicate your vision with her and make sure you totally understand hers. Don't assume!
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I met this very pretty woman a few weeks ago and she works at a department store. I have gone back on several occasions to talk to her. Most of the time, when she sees me approaching her, she gives me the cold shoulder or pretends I am not there. Until I start a conversation with her, she talks to me. It feels a little uncomfortable - almost as if she doesn't care. However, during our conversation, I asked her for her phone number and she obliged. I have tried to call her several times and left messages with her asking if she would like to go out sometime. Unfortunately, she never returns my calls. I really like this person but find it very hard to approach her so that I can communicate with her. I really would like to ask her out to find out more about her. Can someone tell me if this is one of those "give it up, she's not interested" cases? If not, any advice would be helpful. Thank you
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Sometimes one's head can be above the clouds and not see things for what they truly are. You may need to ask yourself if you really knew enough about this person to make a decision to fall in love with her. Women sometimes like to feel wanted and do not realize that their innuendos can be mistaken for love. Often times it is best to just get straight to the point with someone very early on in a relationship because that will save yourself and her time. I believe right now you are hurting more than anything. And you feel betrayed or used. But ask yourself if you got so love sick with this person that you forgot to communicate your true intentions. If she misled you, its time to move on. You don't want to be involved with someone who likes playing the field with friends, let alone with you. Good luck
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I've lost all my trust in her. What to do?
kamurj replied to kamurj's topic in Trust and Relationships
well, i think that trust is huge in a relationship. you need to decide what level you are at and if you see trust coming back. i was with my girlfriend for 2 years and i ended up kissing someone while we were both in different countries for a semester. i told her what happened, and things were scary for a while, but we got through it. we stayed together for another year and a half after that, but now are apart for other reasons. i would say that you should just be honest with yourself and ask her to do the same. having the trust issue linger over your head and having you think of it all the time could be devestating. maybe taking some time off would help out. [ This Message was edited by: kamurj on 2002-02-26 17 ] -
After being friends for two years, I finally started dating a very intelligent and beautiful girl. It's been about four months now and I am having real trouble getting over some of the events that coloured the beginning of our relationship. Let it first be said that my girlfriend had a very traumatic upbringing and is still suffering from the trauma caused by her mothers' neglect and mistreatment. To this end, she is a very insecure individual and I find myself defending myself for everyday activities that would seem common in any other relationship. My question is actually in regards to myself however, as we were beginning our courtship, things were happening fast and we began sleeping together right away. Knowing we had a foundation of friendship set up, I thought this was a way to take things further but my girlfriend decided that I wasn't serious enough and decided to sleep with someone else while we were trying to make something happen between us. In any case, I stuck it out and now I find myself in constant pain and unable to shake the feelings of sadness and anger created by that first 'infidelity'. If you could help me with a little advice on how to let go and learn to forgive, I would be most appreciative. Thank you, Defeated in Los Angeles
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Help I been married 30 some years and can't remember a year I haven't been jealous. I feel like I am getting worse and out of control. My husband I believe, adds to my jealousy but he denies everything. When we are out he is always looking to make eye contact with other women and he evenually will get someone's interest. I feel so depressed when this happens. We have a neigbor who is living with someone and I believe that he goes out of his way to do things outside when she is out. She also realizes his interest and comes out when he is around. I am at my wits end and don't know if I should separate for awhile, to she if his love is true. But I know I would be watching his every move.
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ok, i'm in a really tough situation right now. i've been dating with my gf for a year now, and a few days ago she told me that she cheated on me with someone else because she was depressed and was confused about a lot of the things in life, she really regets that she did it. i've spoken to her roommate and was told that she's really upset with herself for hurting me also. i know that deep inside i still love her and i really want her back in my life, but i just don't want to go through something like this again. it's a long distance relationship and right now i've lost all my trust in her, what should i do?
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I have been divorced for 4 months. I still love my ex husband. He is my life. We have children together. Now that he has left, he has to work two jobs and he's miserable. I just want to know how I can show him that I still love him. We divorced because we didn't get along. We were married 16 years and were happy. I don't understand what happened.
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I am so much confused related to a girl that i dont know she loves me or not..There is a girl who is friend of mine ..we use to talk face to face and on phone..what i feel she was intrested in me..her smile..her eyes use to show that she intrested in me..what i feel she was intrested in me....i hinted to her also that i like her i m intrested in her...before i should propose her she told me she have fiancy..i dont know what the heck it was...did she played the bluff with me or i was wrong she was intrested in me..or she is testing me..i am so much confused.
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Im 14 and currently studying and taking my GCSE's, my problem is that i do not know what career path to choose. I'm interested in art and maybe travel or design!! this is my trouble, do you have any useful advice or websites that can help or test me to find my best option?? (My school does not have a careers advisor, so i cannot go to them) Thanx!! Clare
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I have a 12 year adopted son who has been through a traumatic time with the break up of his parents. His mother and I are now partners. He has always been a mischevious, good looking lad and has had to change to 9 schools in 8 years because of the movement of his parents. He is very aggressive to his teachers often confronting them and leading others on to do the same. We are currently living abroad in the home country but he is under the impression that if he fails "again" the remedy will be to return to live with his father in England. It is almost certian that this option is not available as the father could not cope with the responsibility (one oif the reasons for the breakup). He is moody, aggressive to other family members and likes listening to obscene rap lyrics. He has the incredible ability to lie with complete plausibility and indeed is a very clever boy. He is attractive to the girls but they have ben warned to avoid him at school because of his disruptive influence. Any ideas?
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i am about to get divorce from a 30 years of being marry the problem he sold the bussiness behind my back has two of four kids on his side because right now i have nothing he sold all my house belongings kick me and my 14 year old out of our home for our son and his soon to be wife said all his money is made under the table so i will not get anything is living with someone but son took over bussiness tells me sorry if sides with me father will not give money to him and wife dont know where to start is threating me i took all your things and i will be left with nothing after all over and my 14 year old will have to go with him too please tell me what to do
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I have been with a girl for going on 3 years now. During the past year and a half another girl came to our school. Now at first i thought nothing of her, but one day after a class me and her and some others went out, it was a long night and bye the end of the night we where kissing each other alot. After that i ended up telling my girlfriend because i wanted to break up with her for this other girl. i just couldnt do it, after 3 years it isnt really that easy (so we stayed together) so we all became best friends. i still secreatly really like this other girl (my best friend) but i dont wanna tell her. i think she really likes me also she is always droping little hints and we are always going out behind my girlfriends back( its the only time we get alone with each other) we dont kiss anymore but i think i am in love with her now... i just dont know if I should tell her how i feel. what do you think? should i tell her how i feel about her? or just stay with the girl i have now?
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if it feels good and you are that sexually turned on do it
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I enjoy being spanked in sex - infact the way I fully enjoy sex is if I am spanked.I started masturbating when I was young by imagining being spanked. Is this normal? if not why am I so? putting in mind that I have had very normal and content childhood and I am quite a normal and socially loved person.
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hey! u seem to have a problem there. but the solution is there. do u really love ur friend? do u want him to be happy? if yes think about it. is he in a serious relationship or just kidding around? is he happy with his girlfriend? if yes why do u, his close friend, want to spoil it for him? its agreed that u have feelings for him but r u sure he does too? it may hinder ur friendship if u tell him. u can flirt and joke around with him and tell him ur true feelings jokingly. that way u have said it and not hurt him too. ok? chill it out. it is not bad at all. ur friend is a real lucky chap. till then, keep smiling!
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Dear niceguy, it seems u love ur friend a lot. u have known long to become her best friend. but there is a difference in loving someone and being in love with someone. the difference is we all love our friends,family etc. but generally we are "in love" with only one person. so think a lot before u do anything. do u see a future for both of u? do u know that she does not love anyone else? let me tell one thing- if u tell her and she says no,she amy be ur friend but she may not treat u the way she did before. she will be careful about what she says to u. think about all this. after that if u feel u need to get it out of ur system then u can tell her. till then keep smiling!!
