WildChild

Hi, and welcome. I haven't had a chance to post in a while, but came accross your post and it hit home. As many who know me on here will tell ya, I went through the same exact thing you did down to about the same amount of sex (or lack there of) as you, sometimes as much as 2 months The one thing with porn that many may agree with me is this: there are two viewers of porn. One viewer admits it, and shares the experience (for the most part) with their partner. The other type of viewer is similar to your guy and mine. They lie, deny and we cry. Nothing I said made a difference and the more I said something (trying every avenue) the more angrier he got, and the more the lies came out. I started questioning his faithfulness, which looking back now I am glad we are past that because it was driving me crazy. I know when I quit saying anything, things actually got better. I did make it clear under no circumstances was he fooling me when he made wise cracks about not watching porn. I wanted him to know that I might not be the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but I certainly am not the dud one either. I also gave him a taste of his own medicine and made it very evident as to what I was doing. As much as he would say he didn't care, there certainly was a difference in his demeanor. I'm not sure if he still does view it, and if so he is completely deletes things out which I guess I would rather have than having it there like a slap in the face. I feel for ya honey, but I can guarantee these things: it is going to kill you if you keep checking the history, and temp files. It is going to kill you even more when you ask and he lies about it. Some people are embarrassed, some people view porn to see things that they would never do with their partner out of respect, and some people view it to pleasure themselves on the side. It is addicting, and people don't always see it that but it is. The more you confront, the more he is going to lie, unless he can truly come to realize the impact it is having on you and the potential impact it is going to have on your relationship, and your sex life. You have to decide what you need. Can you compromise? Can you live with once a month? What can you do to better the situation for yourself?

I proposed to my now ex-husband. We both knew that unless I did it would never happen LOL Obviously it would be nice to be proposed to, however I didn't see anything wrong in it. There were people who thought it was wrong, but when you love someone what difference does it make is my thought. I do have to say, because I do have some tradition left in me, next time around I would like to be proposed to LOL

Based on your first post, I am assuming you did get accepted into college? If your grades and/or academics were that bad a strict college that you are suggesting it is wouldn't have accepted you As for not knowing what path to take, many times your first year or two in college is to take elective courses, and only in the 3rd and 4th year do most students focus on the actual career choice classes. Think of how many people go to college with one intention, and end up graduating with a whole different degree. Don't panic yourself too much about making the decision right away. Focus on taking the elective courses, or the "must haves" and decide as you're going. You sound like you are more of a creative soul, so maybe you could find something in college that allows you to spread your wings in that direction. Have you spoke to a college counselor yet?

After 2 years of being friends, you had no clue what his thoughts on children were??

When my mother miscarried year ago, she had a D & C.

Sound advice

Periods change due to age, stress, and other factors, which ultimately, so does ovulation. Up until a few months ago, I was on a 28-day cycle and could time my period within a few hours of getting it. Now, it is never consistent. Unless you are on a definite cycle, you are playing Russian Roulette. My niece had problems becoming pregnant. They did multiple tests on her only to find out that because of some medical reasoning her only chances of becoming pregnant was while on her period which is hardly ever heard of. They tried it, and they got pregnant.

Keep in mind that muscle weighs more than fat. So assuming you are jumping on the scale and not seeing results doesn't mean that you aren't actually losing weight. What it may mean is that you have gained more muscle mass. Do your clothes fit better?

No, I don't think it is unhealthy. People fantasize, and that is what you're doing...almost like a stimulant. I think it's good that this experience has drawn you "out of your ex" and has allowed you to become interested in someone else.

Thanks for the update RayKay! I am so glad to hear all went well with surgery. I can empathize with you seeing her at the hospital. It was very difficult seeing my stepdad, but his courage and optimism astounded me. Keep your chin up honey

You know, I have to apologize. Although I think some of the behavior duplicates drug abuse, I reread your post after I read DN and Dako's responses. They are right, you run your husband into the ground. Even your comment about him working out "but I think I've managed to get him to stop doing that so much" and you call him scary to the point that people are scared of him??? You need to rethink yourself, and work on yourself right now rather than your husband.

First thing that came to my mind, drug use. Sounds too familiar.

Well, you heard back from her and that is a good thing It shows she cares enough about your feelings, and possibly was scared/nervous to broach the subject herself. But I wouldn't bring up to her why she led you to believe different in the beginning....like you accept it and move on. I guess if it were me, disappointed as I may be, I would remain friends (if you choose to) but would move forward in the dating world. I'm sorry it didn't work out right now, but at least now you know where you stand.

Honey, you need to end this. This reminds me exactly of what this guy did to me one time, and you know what? In the end, he was relieved I ended it because he didn't know how. Instead he did all these rotten things to me so I would break it off. Drop this guy like a hotcake

No, actually I think it sounds good except for you calling yourself an idiot twice, and saying there's no excuse for it You shouldn't talk about yourself like that, and if you do communicate more with her DON'T talk like that, o.k.??? You layed it on the line, and you will know by her response where you need to go with this. Good job

Well, I would say that if you two are still chatting that she would at least be interested in being friends. If not, she could easily ignore you or delete you from her contacts. I guess in order to really figure out where this is going to go, you are going to have to feel her out. Whether it's "I know you're busy but I'm beginning to wonder if it's that, or if you're just not interested." or however you feel comfortable. Once you know, then you can base what you need to do off of that.

So glad to hear you had fun

Hooolllyyy Hannah! I have so many thoughts running through my head, and the main one is what in the world are you thinking?!! If you were here I would shake you and tell you to come to your senses and get a grip of yourself man (slap, slap). This girl, and I say girl, because she is in no sense of the word woman is messing with you, has been messing with you and will CONTINUE to mess with you! For the love of man kind, have the guts and the will to end it, no, more like run. This is not about you, this is about her. She has the thrill of having two men basically chasing her and putting up with her BS. I mean OMG, she wants you, then she meets someone else, tells you she's pregnant, sneaks behind your back, then she's not pregnant (like we all thought she wasn't) then ends it, then wants you, then gets together with him and is cheating on him with you?? Is any of this sinking into you? And then, you hate him so bad you would kill him if you could get away with it?!! And where in any of this do you not see any fault in her with all of this? Your hate should not be towards him, but to HER. God only knows what lines she is feeding him to make him stay. For all you know, she told him you and she are only friends and that's why he started his interest in her. Like RayKay said, you can leave. You are making this happen by sticking around for the next pile of BS she is going to shovel on you. And in the process you have now lost the respect of someone you were interested in. You brought that one on yourself. I know right now you are probably pretty p!ssed off at this post, but I can't stop shaking my head right now. This girl has put you through hell, and the best thing you can do is enjoy the time you have right now with your family and TRUE friends before you leave for Italy. If you take the notion with you to Italy that she wants to get back together with you once you get back, you will not experience the possibility of true enjoyment while there because I GUARANTEE all you will be wondering about is her.

PS: Scary!!!! about the gator I may have to reconsider my decision on thumbing it down there LOL

God, I don't know which is worse for me the anticipation of the infamous April 8, or wondering what you will choose to do LOL Whatever you decide, we are all with you in spirit PS:

I would never want anyone to feel any judgment...that's not my intention. Agree to disagree is one of my practices in life, and I will back that up with a handshake -->

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. It's not a matter of liking or disliking, it is a matter of appropriate. If you guys want to talk about it that is fine, but start a new thread, or someone take the frikkin initiative to start a new thread given the sensitivity of the topic. Abortion is a VERY HOT TOPIC and those who are trying to support her (whether they agree with abortions or not) may not want to know the graphics of it. Appropriate sometimes is hindsite, but give others the chance to not have to read it by starting a thread with an appropriate title, that way I or anyone else who chooses doesn't have to read about it in a thread that started out as moral support

I don't want to offend anyone, and I certainly hope no one will take offense, but I am asking as a friend, and member of the forum, if there could be refraining from the hows and whats. I totally want to support you Win, and I do, but I think somethings should be left to PMs so those who want to openly support you emotionally can do so, without having to read about the procedure. Again, I hope no one is offended and can understand

Hey, no prob Let me know what you find out with the doctor...make your appt