Doctor Smurf
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Thanks! I figured that was the idea, so I'll go for it and meet her. Thanks Smarty!
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Hi! I MySpaced and MSN'd a local girl last night, we got on quite well and I enjoyed talking to her, swapped photo's etc... We have both heard of, but not spoken to each other in real life, so my question is thus: Should I ask her "to meet up with me" or straight out, "for a date"? Is it too soon, should I meet her in person before asking for a date? Its been a while since I did this type of thing, and I don't want to risk being friendzoned! TIA for the advice! Doc
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I didn't think so, not until I did it, but it hurts and its not somewhere you want to go! It will pass though.
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Hi... As some of you may know a while ago I threw caution and good sense to the wind, and asked out a good friend of mine. As you may have guessed she turned me down, she was nice about it but still a definite no and I know in my heart she won't change her mind about me. At the time she asked me if I felt that way for a long time or not, I said yes, a good few months, and she pointed out that it must have been love as supposed to a crush. I told her I didn't think one could "love" without being loved in return, but now I realize how wrong I was. Tonight I saw her in person for the first time since then. My rejection hurt at the time, but I recovered and we've been in contact a lot since then. When I saw her tonight, I still felt the same, almost stronger and she was right, it probably is love. But it sucks so much; I can't even tell her that! In my life I've only felt about someone like this once before, and I fluffed it completely that time, it was entirely my fault. With this girl I feel something for her far deeper than mere looks; I just want to share with her anything and everything. I just wish she felt the same way. I do think that almost doing this is a waste of my time, as I said earlier she can surely never want me? Why would she? I suppose I must move on, but to name a fear is to overcome it so I thought sharing this might help. I just wish we could have been together SO much, it's what gets me. Thanks for taking the time to read my plight; I almost feel bad relating such a lame story.... Doc
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Well thanks very much all, especially mum Lita nice quotes on the end there. I think your right, 'cos of my age I haven't met half enough people to have any kind of chance of meeting a near perfect one for me. I think your also probably right about the girl I mentioned not being for me, as I didn't feel anymore than the usual nerves of talking to someone new! I'll just have to keep looking I suppose. I know how that feels becuase people have done it to me - from one of the articles I read on here its something to do with the "nice guy" and not having enough self-respect. Thanks again everyone! Doc
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I know some may say I'm still a little young, but I hope the answers to this will be useful in the future... If I can understand what "Love" or "Attraction" is then I'm sure I'll be able to find it a little easier. I've not been particularly lucky with meeting compatible ladies, and perhaps that has jaded my sense of what girl would be good for me. A particular point I can't grasp is how can I convince myself that a girl with a nice personality and lower looks (And I met one such today) isn't just me sub-consciously thinking she might be more likely to say yes to me? And equally, when I find a girl it will work with for perhaps a longer period of time, when do I realise that? When I meet her, date her, or after weeks or months of going out together? I rarely feel anything hugely special when I try to chat someone up no matter how well it goes, so either I'm emotionally dysfunctional or I'm approaching something in the wrong way. Please, any enlightenment would be hugely appreciated! Doc
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Aw Prenkle, I feel that same way sometimes as you do - *Hug*. I just keep telling myself that there must be someone who can appreciate me, and if I keep trying I'll meet her in the end. There must be something about you thats just great - It might even be your endearing differences from other people. Doc
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But what you might not realise is for those of us that do want something longer (like me) then being honest is very very hard just in case she leaves! Yes, I know its by far the best to have it all in the open, but try telling that to a guy on his first date! I think there's something in your post about that gent we can all learn from Memi! Doc
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I did when my ex left me, I ended up crawling off to the back room at work for a few minutes to get myself sorted. Yes, I think it happens to us all.
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Thanks Tigris, I think thats what I'll try and do!
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Hi! This is about a girl I met on a cadet trip on the 4th of December last year. The long and short of it is we where mutually attracted to each other and ended up making out on the coach. I haven't seen her since, but I spoke on the phone to her for ages and on MSN etc. We're not going out at all, but she still is adamant she wants me. Neither of us have had a partner of anykind since, but I'm not afraid to admit that hormones alone could have brought us together. We don't live close, but I'm going to her town tomorrow so I said I'll meet her. She's very happy, but I'm just worried that something regrettable could happen. I might like her as much as I did or perhaps not, but I feel we can't go out because we simply don't see each other. We're both single BTW. Do you think I should engage in anything with her, even if only for the day? I do care about her see. Thanks, bewildered Doc
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Yay! Well done to you! I asked a girl for her number the other day so I can relate to what your feeling, but you got the date! All the best of luck! Doc
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Yay! Good to hear it, I've been feeling a little happier these past few days too. Must be the sun returning to Wales! All the Best to you Blondy, take care!
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I was reading this thread and I just had to log in to reply! I'm a similar age to you GoldEye, and yes I've noticed the same feeling. As you say, it can be incongrous sites or experiences that conjour up the feeling, and I agree with you, it is a yearning to share it with someone. Whilst I don't have much experience of not being single, when we are lucky enough to be in this situation do we still notice that feeling, only with someone there to share it with? My two-penneth. Doc
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The one who left
Doctor Smurf replied to AnotherBrokenDoll's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
I know you warned me about your poetry, but rest assured its far better than I could ever do! Well done. -
Have another one: HUGGGG!
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TruthBeTold, I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head! Yeah, I've just got to speak to someone when I see 'em, good idea of a way to say hi too. Thank you all!
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Yeah I guess it helps a little - so it seems the only way to find out is to go there and talk to her. Still a hard one to judge though, trying to choose which to speak to and which to "leave on the shelf" so as to speak! Thanks Kleo
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Hi! Well this is something I've been thinking about for a while. I'm sure most of us on here will agree that whilst looks are nice, a good personality is the most important thing to hold a relationship together. I'm thinking from a guy's point of view here of course, but to get me accross to talk to a girl there's got to be something to get me off my seat and walk accross. With looks that's easy – "Wow, look, a gorgeous girl"! – But how can one tell if she (Or he, for the ladies) has that spark to make anything "special"? How should one sense that she is different to anyone else, or is there just no way? These are just thoughts of mine; perhaps I'm on totally the wrong course as far as finding a partner goes… Comments welcome. Thanks for reading, Doc
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Lol markers I like that idea, maybe I should try it sometime. Rusty, I think the fear you can't name is fear of rejection - remember its their loss, and your experience!
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What makes you like a girl?
Doctor Smurf replied to AnotherBrokenDoll's topic in Relationship Advice
Well... Kind of a hard question to answer because we've all got different tastes! I can't say I go with girls that look similar every time, rather I prefer someone who will respect me, love me as I would them, share (But not beccasatily participate in) my interests, be there for me, not be too 'commom', i.e have some courtesy, and just be nice and loving, caring, kind and generous. The only part looks plays in it is getting me to initiate a converstaion, although someone who appeared confident and friendly would be just as good, if not better. Does that help at all? Oh, by the way I'm single Doc -
If your like sitting beside each other, see if she tries to move into your 'personal space'. I did read that you should try touching her on the elbow, then her hand to gauge her reaction to that. If she pulls away, bad, if she takes your hand I would think the risk if fine! Doc
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I especcially like the last one, I always hate it when the "So what have yo ubeen up too" is uttered Good rules
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I'm guessing it probably would be a little too soon, I've heard successful relationshiops on here where people haven't kissed for many months! Just see how comfortable she's acting, she may want the same thing as you, or to go a lot slower. Just don't go and spoil things! Doc
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The sound of one hand clapping?
Doctor Smurf replied to tylercdurden2004's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Well if a practical oppurtunity arose then I sure would take it! Why not, if it seems right and ethical? Doc