Derek

Or they would say it's Educational. Oh about the issue at hand? Well how much direct honesty (vulnerability) can your relationship handle? If it can't handle it, was the relationship going anywhere anyway? It's easy to have a relationship when everything is lollipops, candy canes and sunflowers. Now comes the gritty part for you and your boo.

So she's got a BF and another guy on the side (kewl kat she met)... and she's kissing you... So if you are her next BF, what's to stop her from doing the same thing to you as she is doing to her current boo? If ya gots some self-respect, tell her if she wants to be making out with you, she's gotta decide what she wants first. You'll be around, but you're not waiting forever. Aren't you special enough to be the main course for her instead of a mere dessert?

And if she is so perfect, why is your subject "The ways of the temptress", which is typically a negative connotation. I think you already know the answer inside. She is bad for you in the long run. Give it up.

Don't pressure her, tell her you are a seeker and you want to investigate the truth in your own time. Would she let you do that? Tell her you are happy with how things are and you don't want to pressure her in any direction, nor impose expectations on her. Don't be possessive, even if "God" is the "other guy". You might salvage it. But the other hand is, if she is following a new path, maybe it really is so different from yours and you have to accept it, that she is a new person (or trying to be). People change.

How about, "Hi MachoIranianHairySmartButBoringCoWorkerGuy, I'm sorry but right now I don't feel we have a future together, so I think it would be best for both of us to move on. Thanks for the nice time."

- How about you spend time with all the other skin around her body and let her "moistness" catch up to you. The clitoris is not a "on-off" button, it's about her entire body feeling the build up. What about exploring her other body parts? - How about you keep licking your fingers to keep things moist when fingering. - How about you show her how you'd like a BJ, on two of her fingers with your mouth.

choices like sarcasm... "yeah I'm a *nice* guy" ... rolls eyes... self-deprecation person... "it's true, I am a nice guy, but yet you love me!" Don't have good answers really. You are who you are until you change I guess.

Cool, by that kind of definition, I am very "together" =) I've done all the steps until the having a family part. *shrug* I'll keep on keeping on...

I'm reading elsewhere that women want their man to be "together". What does that mean? What does it take to be a woman who's "together"? =)

I'm curious, what would be the definition of a "man who's together" ? And what's it take to be a woman who's together?

I think just tell him, lightheartedly, " Hey baby, you know those brownies that I cooked for you that you always liked? Well I have a confession, it wasn't completely from scratch, I had Betty Crocker help me. But I want you to know that while I was making it, I was giving it my special touch and was thinking of you every moment while cooking them. " Why not? I think he'll just shrug it off. It's about your time and effort in doing it just for him. I don't think he cares if you are perfect or not, just that you care about him.

mebbe life isn't like the movies... maybe try to be her friend and "normal" with her first, then see about taking it further... maybe it's the girl's fault she's not into you, not yours. stick to your guns...

Sounds like it's all good now. Seems to me you two could talk about perhaps making some new versions of the photos just for you... "embrace the competition and extend beyond them" - the Microsoft way to monopoly.

Perhaps guys do feel the same as girls, but our way of coping is to "cut it out of our minds" to compartmentalize it away and forget about it. Probably not a very healthy way to do it in a way. I hear guys can often feel things more than you think but they been conditioned since birth to never tell anyone or they might seem weak and dependent. It's worse for a guy to be seen as weak, so they force themselves to not feel anything. They never tell anyone. P.S. That same "compartmentalizing" ability is what makes some guys good at emotionless decisions under pressure. (like being a soldier, fireman, police etc.)

Depending on how drunk you were, the Other guy may not have thought it was a "Movie Kiss" at all. =) I agree with the other advice...

hmm, how to start it? How about "ya wanna make out?" ROFL! that works for some girls I remember saying lightheartedly, with a sly smile, "ya wanna snuggle?" to a girl and she laughed and said sure. =) All too easy. But listen to RayKay, don't listen to me, she knows what's up. =)

Yeah, writing a letter part is good, re-reading it a couple or 10 times is good. But sending it... not recommended. Let the letter be your expressed feelings for "right now", let the letter be the outlet, then forget about it, re-read it in a few months (yes I said months), then if you MUST send it, edit it down to half it's size, and perhaps edit that again, then maybe send it. Even then I bet your feelings will be different and you won't need to send a letter.

I wonder that over time you add little techniques to your repertoire. It's kinda like playing a musical instrument. How about you add the "cup her head/neck in your hand(s)" technique to your repertoire. Thumbs softly on the cheeks. I am sure others will have more. =)

I think Beec's advice is good. Try that out. I guess there is still hope, but it's a small hope... =)

Dude, university isn't like High School anymore. You see a girl for 5 minutes in a class of 200 and then barely see her again. You have to be a little more assertive in the hunt for your gazelle. Stuff like walk up to a girl that seems open and interesting, "hey, you know I only get to say hello to you for like 2 minutes, would you like to have a real conversation sometime over coffee? my treat" "Hi, I'm ____, what's your name?" "---", "cool, good to meet ya ---!" "What dya think of this class?" ... blah blah..." "really?, cool!" .."blah blah"... "napolean dynamite" ..."blah blah"... "me too!"... "blah blah" "oh class is starting, I wondered about getting your email so we could continue to chat some more sometime?" she says, "Ok, you're cute!" (ok,I made that up =) But if all that doesn't seem like you, then best bets are to go to places where there are people with similar interests. Become a more confident you. Be the best "You", you can be. Girls will wonder, who is this guy that knows who he is, what he's good at, where he's going. She's thinking, " I want to be a part of his life's adventure." Have a life of interests that would be fun to join with. Do something you like and be good at it, even if it is accordian playing. Have many interests that require interaction with people. Don't own a TV.(*gasp*, I know, I break that rule myself =) Sure you could try to change yourself, working out, fashion sense. But don't change for external reasons, change to become the individual you want to be. You shouldn't work out for women, you should work out for yourself. Otherwise how authentic are you being? Don't people hate it when someone is being someone their not? The truth always comes out. Stuff like that. Oh and what others said too, yo!

yeah you messed up. I wonder that he feels the trust is broken from the first time you rejected him. Only time will let him rebuild the trust he had but it will never be quite the same. Were talking months here... I wouldn't hold my breath. Move on to the next guy that's ready for family and commitment. There are 1000s of fish in the sea right? (sarcasm) P.S. I've been the guy on the other side of this situation and I am still bothered by the loss of potential for such a weak reason in my opinion. If the person was meant to be, individuality wouldn't need to be lost, it could be supported and cultivated and grown even more. Communication could have solved the fear.

soulmates don't change their phone numbers on each other... true love doesn't say "I don't want to see you or think about you ever again" Give it up.

How about, no you can't really tell the difference... and how to tell the difference? just ask in a light hearted way... "Hey, do we have a thing starting between us?" "Hi there, am I missing something or do we have a thing?" "Hey, I noticed you noticing me, what should we do?" "Hi, I am wondering if I am detecting some signals of interest from you or am I just that self-absorbed?" (don't use that one =) "Hey, do you wanna hang out some more? cuz if you did, I might say yes." "Hey, what's the deal with you giving me the eye, punk!" (don't use that one =) You get the idea... What's the worst that could happen? He could laugh at you right? Well if he did laugh at you, then you would know he was a jerk and doesn't respect people (women) and their feelings and luckily you didn't waste your time with him. But on the other hand, you could continue the torture of not knowing, and observe whether he pays more attention to you than to other girls. Whether he tries to be around you, listens to you closer than other people, tries to be in the same groups, classes. blah blah. I say, just ask. If he can't handle the direct-ness, then he's not man enough for you either.

I wonder about your confidence with yourself. You don't have to be a sex goddess/vixen right away. Be yourself but with a little flair. Even if you do a little thing, perhaps just wearing a hat (ball cap even) or wearing knee high socks, and perhaps acting out a role a bit. (maid/doctor/schoolgirl) Or just leaving on your knee boots, or leaving on some gloves. Deliberatly wearing a wet white t-shirt. Wearing his dress shirt, only. Wearing nothing but a raincoat and his hat to start with. Whatever. You don't need to compare yourself to some fantasy woman ideal. I think he'll appreciate that you are even trying. Like if he gave you a card or some roses and sure it wasn't the perfect romantic gesture but at least he was trying? You'd appreciate that he was trying to go outside his comfort zone for you right? The more interesting problem is it sounds like he's not giving you the affection and attention you would like outside the bedroom, so you are not as motivated to please him in the bedroom, yet feel guilty about your own feelings because of the cancer deaths. Classic guy-girl problem, with the added element of the parents death. Though you might offer a temporary solace, only he can heal himself from his past. It's not your problem per se but it's nice to help, sure.

time lets feelings fade... get busy with other interests, get busy with other people,