Beec

Well, I would never ever get down on one knee, but some men do and will. Otherwise, I like it. Edit: Oh yeah, forgot, good luck.

Well, I have a big house that is somewhat decorated like a dorm room. When the best places to sit are futons, you know it's not ready for House & Garden. But, what I would suggest is that you do it as simply, cheaply and easily as possible, and then take your time figuring out what direction you want to go in. We are going to gut most of the house's interior, so decorating it makes little sense, but right now, we need something. My living room TV is a 20 inch that I bought for $25 from an ad on craigslist. We have two futons and I'm looking for a another really cheap futon frame to put in a room. Last weekend, we sat on one of the two futons we have watched TV and the fire in the fireplace. Futons might be a good choice, for right now, because you do have kids who might use them. You can spend a few bucks on futon covers to get ones that match things, and I painted one of the cheap frames to match some chairs. One thing I would do is to get copies of as many pictures of your kids and other family members as possible, get frames, even an assortment of mismatched frames, and fill the frames with the pictures and put them either all over your house or filling on entire wall, or both. And make the display both prominent and central to the real living area of your house. It will send a clear message about what is important in your life.

I agree with Dave. You tried, you asked, you failed, and you were on the receiving end of a bunch of hostility. Stinks. What else can you do, endure more misery, and if so, why would you? However, my one other warning might be that she might wake up and smell what she thinks is coffee and realize that the stench of her own crap is shocking her into some sense or be in mortal fear of living what will be her new life. First, you cannot let her saying it, if it happens, change your course of action. If she totally reverses course tomorrow afternoon, then you will still need to continue, becuase you need to make sure the reversal is not temporary. She should demonstrate it over time. Second, if anything ever happens again, then you need to realize you will be starting over with each other. You won't trust her, she will need to show she is trustworthy, etc., just as if she were a new woman you were dating, and then some, because of the history. When relationships get askew, they only get right when we back up and repeat steps. The more askew, the further you need to back up. Now, I am optimistic, and I would hope for this, myself, but I am also going to be someone who tells you that this is a BIG, BIG LONGSHOT. This is like betting on one number when playing roulette. Your chances of winning are slim, and you will not be getting too many spins of the wheel. Don't bet all your chips on this happening. Her character has been set for a long time and changing it would be difficult, and she has shown not an iota of interest in doing that. So, if it happens, let me know and I will bet a bunch of whatever other longshot you recommend. Still, don't count on it. It won't happen. This is time for Soon to begin building the rest of his life. To create the life he wants for him, taking in mind all that has occurred. Create that life, enjoy living it.

I won't disagree with the above, but when was the last time you made it clear you lusted for her booty, body, etc.?

I think for most men, you will find that yes, we would like woman that was not flat, flat, in theory. But, once we find one we are attracted to, we stillw ant her even if she has nothing. I've been with women who had a lot and some who really had nothing. At the times I was each of them, I wanted to be there. I know guys who have never dated a woman with less than a C cup. And I know others who have never dated a woman that could fill an A cup. It's all personal preference.

Wlecome to enotalone and please stick around. You are probably going to have struggle because it seems likely to me that what you tell everyone who sees you is to leave you alone. Even if you don't say that in your words, because you don't talk, I bet you say it with your body language. Your comment about driving to a theater an hour away is also an indication that you want to keep the world out. But now here you are asking someone to tell you how to let it in. Now, the biggest question may be why you are this way or got to be this way, but that probably needs someone with real training to help you with, and I do not have that, but I think you should try to seek it. It seems to me that there is something about you which needs to learn to love yourself. Otherwise, you may really fear rejection or betrayal. I don't know. I can easily give you some hints as you improving your people skills. That's simple, but I'd really advise you to go read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People, which is a classic. What I would also tell you to do is learn a litlte about body langauge, act like you are releaxed, smile and tell people "hello", hi, and "good morning." Try a person in store first, smile and say hi. then expand.

OK, if it is a skin allergy which it sounds like, switch some of the products you use. I get allergic reactions in my arm pits and sometimes further afield on my torso. It can be painful, itch, burn, etc. Products that help: Tide Free (any free detergent might be a good switch); no softener in the dryer, try dryer balls (link removed, Bed Bath & Beyond sells them too); Olay Complete Body Wash for Extra Sensitive Skin; Olay moisturinse in shower body lotion; and complex 15 moisturizer. All but the last I use most of the time. When life gets really bad, I have coated my skin as often as possible with hydrocortisone.

Soon_tobeex, I count myself among the most optimistic here about people's abilities to reconcile. So, I won't tell you that you and your wife won't live together happily ever after, but as things are there is no change in sight. You wife seems unwilling to change. At the very least, it will require something drastic to change her mind. Leave. Give your kids keys to your new house. And learn to live life without her terror.

There are two votes for Old Spice. All right. I have rarely used any cologne. But, I have been known to use Old Spice after shave. Every woman I've worn it near has smelled it and liked it. One ex once asked what it was, and I told her to guess. Her first response was "it's not Old Spice or something." For two years, she kept me well-stocked with Old Spice.

I am not surprised that right now you cannot be friends. When you think you can, try, see how seeing him once works and makes you feel. Use the NC to get yourself space until you can see him and be friendly without being emotional. Some emotion is fine, but you need to be aloof. There is not set time for NC, it's about how you feel. When you feel that way, it will be time to reassess what it is you want. And if you want him, then why not try to get him, but never tell him what you are up to. Right now, I don't know that you are up to figuring out how to get an ex back, but the time may come. Hang in there. It will get better.

I think it really does come down to who you are and how you think, because: An answer, why would I need an answer? Consume me, it wouldn't, no way. Negative energy? I bring positive energy to everything? This woman would be like a fly, just bound to fall into my venus fly trap, or something like spider's web and tangle herself all up in it. I wouldn't need to push her into it? She'd come willingly, she'd be tempted. Cut thigns clean, why? I'd be out dating other women all the same, while I waiting for her to fall into my trap. Minefields? I'd roll through them like a tank and let them try and blow me up. Not a mone of them would affect me a bit. They couldn't even dent me. There's no war if the other side does no fathom your battle plan until you have already won. Starred? Role? My role is never defined, everything is adlibbed, unpredictable.

Well, I have done it so I really don't give her any other option. She is going to get kissed. Now, I am paying attention to the signals before hand, i.e. her body language, but if signals are go, I am busting a move. And for the last few women I dated for a while, one of which I am with permanently, that's what I did. I think one even exepreienced me grabbing her lapels to pull her to me.

Well, first, just leave him alone for now. Second, never mention to him again that you want him unless you are pretty darn sure he really want it too. Third, work on you. Fourth, be a friend to him, a good one, build him up, do not tear him down and act happy to be that way. Fifth, in some months, after you have shown yourself to be a selfless friend, express regret at how you were. If you get this far and need more info on how to get him, ask. Welcome to enotalone. Please stick around. I'm sure you can learn more by just doing so, and it may help.

It seems that her hitting you quite frankly is her showing a lack of respect or just absolutely losing her cool, and probably some of both. You hitting her might be the same. Your anger at yourself is healthy. That, and the guilt, should be much of what you need to restrain yourself in the future. This relationship, and her attitude, do not sound very healthy.

Other than just love your kids, you could seek custody or try to get your wife some help, but I don't see her agreeing to get any with her attitude. I think what she does not see is that she is mostly hurting herself and the kids, but in ten years, the kids will be gone and may not want as much to do with her. Love your kids is about all the advice I can give, do what's best for them. Welcome to enotalone. Please stick around.

Why not? Why not ask each of them out to a very simple, minimal date, and see how each goes? When I was dating, I had what a Icalled a rotation. I dated different women and things seem to naturally work themselves out. If I wanted a another date with someone, then I asked for it. If not, I didn't. As things got serious with one or another, I stopped wanting to talk to and date others. I don't think one asking a girl out makes her your girlfriend. It's just one date. If I had a date this Saturday and met the woman I thought was perfect on Friday night, and I supposed to pass on her and not ask her out, because I already have a date scheduled. Sooner or later you may need to committ, but not before a first date, or after it. If you have been out five or six times, then you might have de facto committed.

Obviously you have had some prior contact, presumably through email or the internet, so you know some things about him. Well,think of some questions that you can ask him about things he likes and does to get it started. And remember to listen, not chatter away. You'll be fine.

Well, we definitely come at it with different ideas. In the end, you need to find what fits you. Some people play more games than I will, and for different reasons. Others, play them without consciously admitting to doing so. A few, imo, may play none. You can change yours, but you also need to figure out what's right for you. Good luck.

It could be any number of things. If she jsut doesn't find you attractive, then something that has changed about your behavior might have brought that on. She is going to feel attracted to you based on how you make her feel, and any number of things can affect her feelings. Your behvavior changes toward her in the past six months would be one thing I'd ask about. Another thing I would question is is she has issues with trusting you. All of these issues are emotional.

I think the difference that you need to be seeking is the amount that the guy is investing into the relationship. If he puts too much in too quick, that's a red flag. Until he puts something in however, it's too soon. A guy who comes on like gangbusters often is a rake (see chapter 2 at link removed) who stop chasing something once they get it.

I do not know if I can disagree more with friscodj. First of all, we are never under any obligations to tell anyone else about how we feel, unless and until we are in relatonship, a romantic one which at times does require come. So don't feel like you have a duty to come clean about how you feel. Your feelings should not ever be thought of as something that will change her feelings, at least in a positive way. Your actions may, if you demonstrate that you care about things and have some character. But, if you think that because you feel a certain way about anything that someone else should too, you might also think that the solar system stopped revolving around the sun and now circles your body. Thinking that how you feel should change how someone else feels is self-centered, in a big way. Actually, taking care of someone with disregard for the consequences to you, and that may change how someone feels about you, but that's about how you are acting. I would suggest that you simply act a bit more aloof. How she has treated you has become to significant to you. When she has rejected you, you seem to have taken it personally, and it might or might not be. But by letting it show, you seem to thrive on or want her approval and/or acceptance. Don't let that show. If you are aloof from someone that need not mean cold or unfriendly, it just needs to mean that what they do and say does not affect you. It may very well be that your not being aloof to her actions and words has sunk your chances with her. We go for the people that give us emotional fulfillment AND does so while remianing aloof and independent, not needy or clingy. And if doing that is playing a game, play on. Because if doing that attracts someone to you doesn't that mean the person who was so attracted enjoyed how they were being treated, and wants to be treated that way again. Shouldn't we treat people how they want to be treated. Moreover, the way you have been treating her has been getting you what? Nothing good.

Well, what seemed to have worked for Dilly as she described is something you could do. What I would do is consider it's all off and begin to move on. If the ex comes back and wants you, then you get to decide. And I might explain that, he has given you a pass to date who you want, and he has to take that risk. (You willhave also given that to him.)

I would definitely go back and act like nothing at all bothers you.

It's probably simply the fact that it is there for the asking, whenever you want it. We want what we cannot have, not what's there whenever we want it. We value what is rarer, not the common. If the street were paved with gold and diamonds, people might want to wear soda pops tops and string, if these things were rare. I thinkyou'll find things return in general, but also try to get your gf to do a few things. One, not be naked or scantily clad that much. Make the sight of her body rarer, and you'll want it more. Second, try to get her to be a bit of a tease. You may have sex in the end, but not knowing when, where or how is part of the fun.