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Q-ball

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  • Birthday 11/16/1984

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  1. Q-ball

    Anxiety

    Anxiety sucks, I've heard that it is a sign of intelligence and usually an anxious person will go far in life. The problem is going far and being happy in the process and when you get there. I believe that drugs are bad for this, you are not addressing the issue this way. I know how you feel. The answer is letting go. You need to let go of an embarrasing moment right when it happens. (ever hear U2's song "stuck in a moment, and you can't get out of it"?) See lots of other people feel this too I know this is easier said than done, but you have to work at it. Sometimes I would keep myself up at night thinking about something stupid I did or said to someone 2 years ago. That person probably doesn't remember it, but here I was miles away, maybe never even going to see the person again, but couln't sleep. Don't be afraid to think about one of these situations, but make sure that as you do it, you take what you learned from it, and then make a conscious effort to say, just like Kellbell said, it happened, I can't change it, move on and be better than that, smile. Everyday is a new day. Have you ever heard the saying, it's not how hard you fall, it's how fast you get up. Same thing. practice this, eventually you will be able to do this no problem. Unload your mind of these destructive memories, you can do it right now. Think of your mind as a computer hard drive. do the maintenance, sort the good memories/feelings from the bad memories/feelings, and delete the bad useless ones, you will be overloaded if you don't, and you won't perform properly, when you are not performing properly you get yourself into more negative situations and feelings. I'm not a psychologist, but I have seen one about this, and this is her advice with my twist that worked for me. good luck
  2. Thanks for the replies, I guess I probably will just have to try and see how she reacts to it. I just really get turned on when a girl begs for it, I was thinking this might be the way. thanks again
  3. I know for me, if I'm getting close to orgasm, I don't always want to let it happen right away. I like to keep myself just on the edge for as long as I can where everything just feels unbelievable hot, until I can't take it anymore. Any time I've gotten a girl off it was always, just keep going until she comes. I'm wondering, if I were to stop, or slow it down and tease her as to prolong the pleasure when she's just about to climax, would this be a good idea? I know if a girl is giving me head, I love it when she slows down and does little licks when I'm real close to cumming. Do girls experience this the same way, or will slowing down or teasing cause them to loose the mood and make me have to start over. I've never really tried it, because, well usaully there telling me not to stop, and I love the satisfactions of getting them off, and don't want to mess it up. thanks
  4. Hey everybody, incase anybody wants to know. I talked to her last night. I had her over, and the same things started happening. Cuddling, hugging tight, she told me she missed me. I kissed her, but she kind of didn't kiss back, so then I said I wish I could understand you. Then we had our talk. I told her that I love her so much and that I wanted her back more than anything in the world. I said I hate pressuring you, but I told you before that I cannot do this half a relationship stuff anymore. She said she knows, and that she can't do it either and that we can't just be friends and that leaves only 2 more options for us, get back together or stay away from eachother. She said that she can't stay away from me. So after my desparate attempt, she said ok. She wants to take things slow, and start things off like we are dating again, said we shouldn't have sex right away. I told her that I wouldn't let her have sex with me for atleast a month or two, she was kinda shocked but I could tell she liked the idea. I'm so happy but I'm not popping the cork yet. I'm going to wait until I know she's happy and see her smiling more. Does anybody have any advice for this stage? Thank you so much everyone.
  5. Thanks again, I didn't get a chance to talk to her last night, but I'm going to tonight. I'm going to tell her how much I love her and apologize for breaking the trust and try my best to convince her how serious I actually am this time. I already have done this a while back, but maybe it wasn't enough for her to just hear it once, I'll tell her exactly how I feel and and tell her that if she is not willing to give me another chance then she has to let go of me completely. I think this time that we spend in the grey area is tainting our chances of a relationship both as friends and a couple.
  6. Thanks everybody, she called me again last night, and wanted ot come over to watch the Oscars. We ended up cuddling and hugging, she would roll over and face me and hug me real tight. She let me touch her all over and kiss her neck and I could tell she was getting turned on, but she wouldn't let me kiss her on the lips. She said she was scared to. It's starting to seem exactly what it was like in the fall. She gives me all these signs and then she makes me feel like I'm pressuring her when I react to them. What the * * * *? I'm going to have to have a good talk with her tonight and be firm with her. It's just soo hard because all I want to do is be with her and kiss her.
  7. Hey everybody, My ex is home for spring break, called me thursday to tell me she was coming, missed her call, called me Friday when she got home, she wanted to just stay in and hang out with me. I had friends over at the time so I couldn't. Had coffee with her the next day, it took her about an 2 hours to get ready, she looked really good, she told me that she's having anxiety problems, can't sleep, worried about graduation and what she's going to be doing in the future. She came over after coffee, watched a movie with me. I love her so much, it felt so good to see her. this was my last post if you don't want to read that, the story is, I broke up with her in the summer because I wanted to experience being single, we stayed close, very close, in the fall I tried to get her back, she kept saying she couldn't be in a relationship right now, but she kept hanging out with me, and eventually we were just like a couple. She broke down about a month ago, I had gone to see her at her school, said that there was no more passion between us, and that we have to stop this. So what is she doing, I want her back, but I won't beg for her anymore, I did that for 6 months. I want to tell her that we shouldn't see or talk to eachother for a good while, just because I feel like it is bringing me back to day 1 of the breakup, but I miss her and love seeing her, and we always have fun together. I'm also scared that she needs me right now, I don't want to abandon her when she's having these anxiety problems. I would appreciate any advice from anyone on this, thank you
  8. Thanks you two, I didn't weaken because of this, I'm still trying to move on. I'm trying not to let myself think that this is a sign from her, but I know her too well and I know that it was a sign that she misses me. The hard part is if she just missed me at that time (had a weak moment) or if she truly misses me. It's getting hard for me to picture us working out. She is so sweet, unbelievable cute and kindhearted, but my most recent memories of her are not very comforting. My memories of her are all filled with worry and doubt. I can't blame her for this, I was the one who initially disrupted our trust for eachother. What do I do when she comes home next weekend? I have a feeling she's going to want to spend more time with me. I just want to kiss her everytime I see her, but I don't even think I would get back together with her. I really want a girl who loves & lusts for me. I just wish it could be her. I would doubt her motive to get back together with me. I think she would do it because she feels lonely and needs someone, but I would always be thinking "she doesn't love me fully and completely"
  9. Hey everybody, I was a dating this girl for about 3 years, I broke up with her at the beginning of last summer because I wanted to get a taste of the single life (since I had spent most my university years with her). I realized quickly that I missed her a lot. We kept in real close touch, even slept together one night, throughout the summer. When fall came, I was ready to get her back. I tried my best, I thought I had her, We started doing all the things a couple would do except whenever I asked her about what we were doing she said that she really couldn't have a boyfriend right now. We kept this weird relationship going (she goes to a different university, long-distance relationship in the chool year) where she was calling, talking for hours with me, spending every second together (day & night, when she would come home) got eachother birthday/christmas gifts. Just about three weeks ago, she invited me to go stay with her for the weekend where she goes to school. I went, we had a good time, she even had me stay an extra day, because she didn't want me to leave. The morning of this extra day, we started fooling around and she broke down crying midway and told me that she doesn't feel like she can be romantic with me anymore. She told me that she loves me so much, but she just doesn't feel the spark or passion she used to. She said she couldn't imagine me not being in her life, and that she didn't know if this is something that just happens or if it means we shouldn't be together. After a week of emails and phone calls, she decided that we should end it but she kept saying things like maybe this will resolve things, she just can't have a relationship now. I made it very clear to her that if I'm to move on that it is a permanent thing, because I really do love her and it is really hard to force myself not to look back. She came home last weekend, from school, after two weeks NC, and called me and asked how I was. She said something about how she didn't really know how to be friends with me yet, so we shouldn't go get coffee or anything like that. I told her that I didn't want to see her anyway, half jokingly. We talked for a little bit, she told me where she was going to be later that night and said maybe I'll see you out. I didn't go to the bar she was at that night. I woke up sunday morning with her calling me wondering where I was last night because she saw some of my friends. She said in kind of a sulking voice that she kinda wanted to see me before she left, which was in less than two hours. Me having a case of the Sunday's and just waking up and all, told her that she could stop by my place. She came over for coffee, we just talked on the couch, and then I gave her a hug goodbye, a little squeeze of the bum ( i told her when we broke up that even if she has a boyfriend I'm still gonna grab her * * * every time I see her), she told me she would be home in 2 weeks again and said "maybe I'll see you then?". What the * * * *?
  10. You sound like a girl I know, she's very sweet. She grew up being very shy, and was not really given much attention by guys in high school. In university she became this unbelievably beautiful girl, that everybody wanted to be with. She has a boyfriend from highschool who she loves so much, and he loves her, but they constantly argue, because she just loves the attention. She always wanted to be the pretty popular girl, and now she is. I think it may be a self esteem issue, maybe you need the attention to feel good about yourself, everybody likes the way they feel when that happens, but some people like it alot. Kinda the same pont that sidehop is making, the deprivation, followed by a temporary large fullfillment could leave you feeling like you're boyfriends attention isn't enough. You need to become confident with who you are inside. This comes from completing big challenges. I'm writing as though I'm giving advice to my friend I mentioned above, so if she doesn't sound at all like you than just ignore me, I'm not a psychologist, nor do I know how to spell it, or do I?
  11. Man, girls are just annoying sometimes. Just kidding, well sort of she probably had a little trip down memory lane while she was packing it, got a warm feeling and wanted you to let you know that she enjoyed the time she spent with you.
  12. Anger only hurts you. Who cares about the damn pictures, who cares about her, she's obviously not a kind person, let alone someone you want to be with, seeing as how she texted you such a cold message like that after 3 months of NC. I she wants the pictures, tell her to come and get them. If she does just be civil to her, show her that you don't give a mod edit about what she thinks anymore. If she sees your angry still, she wins, she sees your happy, she get's curious as to why, or who is making you that way, and gets frustrated. If you want to get back at her for something this will bother her more. Plus, karma has a way of giving people what they deserve.
  13. I got dumped, I still love her, and I still want to be friends. I think that as long as I don't ever let myself think that we could get back together, that I can see her and have fun. It's always a little tough saying bye. If you truly love someone, you should be happy to see them doing well. If it's just anger, jealousy, you never really loved them. You just love that piece of dignity that you feel they have taken from you. I think of it as though it is one of my old buddy's growing up. I used to skateboard everyday with my friend Kaleb, we went our separate ways, hang out with different people now, and have different goals, but we still have fun when we see each other. The only difference is there was never that immediate separation, things happen more gradually.
  14. Sounds like he's a loser. So he's been with this "highschool" girl for about 2 months. If I were you, I would site back and watch the show. Those two are not going to make it. First of all she's in high school, people change alot when they are forced into the real world, and second of all, getting engaged after 2 months is ridiculous (in my opinion). You are smarter, older, more mature than this other girl. Show her this when you see her or him. Do not give in to her childish ways. If someone whispered something to someone directly infront of me like you said I'd probably kick their * * *! Man that's childish. Sounds like you handled it well. I would suggest that you call your ex. 3 months is a long time. If you are ready, call him and ask how things are. Be very strong, ask about their engagement. Truly try to establish a friendship. This will make things easier on you if you do happen to bump into him. He will think highly of you, and this little * * * * girlfriend of his will get unbelievably paranoid You can do way better than him. Be strong, kind and smart about things, he will see you in the future and will be kicking himself in the * * *.
  15. Thanks, I think you might be a little biased though after my advice in "Passion, Sex , and me" Just kidding, I really appreciate your posts.
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