mahlina

I've heard of that theory too, but honestly, I wouldn't read into it as much either. I also heard that there's also another part to this theory, for example, if a girl crosses her legs, and then starts to slowly shake her leg, then she non-verbally shows interest. I don't this is completely always true. I shake my legs most of the times, for instance, when I'm in class when I'm bored or tired, and am trying to stay awake.

I thought that I was the only one who did that. I used to pull my hair a lot, especially during Jr. year in high school, the most stressful year. I stopped doing that. But, I remember nights where I would stay up staying until 3 o' clcok in the morning, and would have to get up at 6:30 for my 7:00 class. Boy were those years hell. I remember my hair easily my hair would fall out too. But, I don't think that it's done any permanant damage to my scalp or anything. I think that hair pulling has a lot to do with stress. Eventually, you will learn to let go of this habit. Meanwhile, hang in there. Hope you're not too stressed out! Take care...

P.S.- One more thing, you might want to keep PDA's to a minimal. Don't ever walk behind her, hugging her from behind, while walking around the house (you know how it looks like, right? To me, whenever I see a guy do this to his girl out in public, like at Knotts Berry Farm, you'll see a lot of people do that. It just looks like the guy's trying to hump the poor girl doggystyle, from behind, while walking around in public. I just wanna tell them: "Gross!! Get a room! Let's try not to be too graphic here." It just doesn't look very appropriate. It looks disrespectful.) Maybe, you might not even want to hold her hands around her parents. So, yah, keep PDA's to a minimum. But, this is just my opinion. Maybe some mothers are actually more laid back than I think? I don't know...

If I were her mother, I wouldn't trust any boy she brought home, either. Not especially because she's so young. If you put 2 and 2 together: young boy + young girl = trouble. In my eyes, I would think, this kid is not financially stable enough to take care of himself. How the heck am I supposed to believe that my daughter will be in good hands with him? He's still young. He still has a lot to figure, his whole life, his career, lots of things that he needs to explore for himself. I can start to like him, only if his actions prove to me that he is a serious kid, has a good head on his shoulders, and if he makes my daughter happy. Scary thought, even though I'm not even a mother, I just finally felt how it feels to be one. Heh! If you want to earn some serious browny points with this woman, make sure that her daughter never cries because of your relationship. Even if she does cry, make sure that she's not crying in front of them. But, don't ever allow her to cry in anyway. Okay, maybe if she sobs once in a while, because she's almost PMS'ing, then that's understandable. However, mother's catch onto their kid's saddness really quick. They know when their kids are happy or not, even if they never developed that maternal bond with their child, they just know. Pay attention to what her mother likes. Buy her a box of See's candies. Offer to help out in the kitchen when you're hanging out at her pad. Offer to do some grocery shopping for the family. Basically, get involved, but don't do this always. Don't allow get involved too excessively. Do this only once in a while. You don't want her parents to completely take control of your relationship. You guys need some privacy too. But remember: Be yourself. Always be yourself. And like what Usied said, be polite. Express your opinions to them. Open up. The more you open up, the more honest you will appear to her mother. Slowly, her mother will start to trust you. Maybe then, she'll even invite you over to her house for dinner, once in a while.. Hope this helps! Mahlina

I see what you're saying...However, not everyone's perfect, right? We all have our own weaknesses, our own flaws, but it's up to us to embrace it and work on making ourselves stronger, smarter, and wiser. Some people are aware of their own weaknesses, but they're always in denial and give into their weakness. They give up and get jaded. They constantly lie to themselves. My friend just got married. For a 21 year old? I think that she still has a lot ahead of her, but what were her reasons for marriage? I think it's because she's afraid to be alone, especially because she has two kids. Now, this guy is the abusive type. Our group of friends can tell. A lot of her actions tell me that she never listens to herself. She's like zombie, blindly walking throughout life, always living in denial. So my point is, listen to what's truly bothering you. Work on improvement. I also think that the 'right' partner encourages us to be the best that we can be. They don't have to out right say it, but it's just the feeling that you get when you're with the right person. It's almost as though they're our catalyst, someone who motivates us to overcome our fears. If you have the feeling that you will become like your mother, then try working on that. I didn't have the best childhood either. Lots of drama in the family as a kid. You know how the struggling immigrant family liftesyle is like, right? Kinda dysfunctional, but functional in its own way? Well, try to accept the past for what it is. You can't really change it. You're a product of it, but you can change the outcome of your situation. You can choose to grow stronger from it. Realize that anything's possible. Fear is what consumes most of us. Due to fear, we're always in denial. But when you make the effort to challenge yourself and face that fear, then anything's possible, even a happy marriage with your man. It can, and it will happen. It's just up to you to dig deeper to make it happen. Make yourself a better person by improving. That's what will give you a lot of grace. Find that strength inside of you. You will become a more well-rounded person, not a dead beat. Be that strong woman. Life's about learning, so make this your challenge. Maybe this situation is meant to be: it's something that forces you to grow in an adverse situation. Never give up. Hang in there.

Tea, I know where you're coming from...I completely agree with GalaxyGirl. When you know that the person is the 'right' person, then without a doubt, those fears of getting married will go away. I am a firm believer that true love exists. Even with high divorce rates these days, I still believe that marriage can still last. I used to be really skeptical about marriage in the past, but I realized that when you run into the 'right' person, it's almost as if things just fall into place. You won't have to doubt a man's intentions, because he shows you love without you having to ask. When there is a sense that the love that both partners share is unoonditional, that's when you know you have found the right person. The right person never leaves you feeling doubt, worry, or distrust. Some people marry for love. Other people marry for money. Some people marry out of convenience (i.e. they feel as though they're getting old, so they settle down). But I think that the best time to get married, is when both partners marry for love, and they know for sure that their other partner is truly their other half. They're proud to bring that person home to meet their parents. They're proud to know that they're partners will be the ones who will bring their kids into this world. They're proud that their kids will resemble much of their partner. Marriage is something that they're proud of. Why? Because they're mature, they know what they want, and they found what they want. With people who marry for shallow and superficial reasons, I think that they're just another sad added statistic to divorce rates. They don't marry out of love, but rather, out of selfishness. They're probably the ones who will most likely cheat. Sounds like this is not your case. You're choosing to marry out of love, which is great. Take your time. There's no rushing into marriage. If anything, give it a little more time to let him to prove to you that he deserves to be your husband, your life long partner..

Hi Mandy, long itme no see. Welcome Back! Congradulations on the engagement!! If I were in your shoes, I think that it may be helpful that both you and your fiance attend a few couples' counseling sessions. I heard that some couples who try couple's therapy before marriage, actually find it helpful. It sounds like a great idea, since little things like his snappyness should be resolved before it makes you even more miserable, prior to tying the knot. Communication is key. So couple's counseling sounds like a good idea. He'll also probably find other helpful tips on how to communicate more effectively as a partner, in general. After all, realtionships are all about communicating. Once a partner closes off to the other person, then it leaves room for a lot of grudges and resentment, and can thereforeeee, potentially a destroy a strong relationship from growing even further.

Holding hands can be a bit misleading. That's why I don't hold hands with guys who aren't my boyfriends (personal preference), even if it's just casual dating. However, if he's holding your hands, and if you like him the same, then tell him that it makes you uncomfortable to hold hands, since you are not sure if he considers you as his girlfriend. If you mention this, then perhaps he'll give you more of a definite answer. If he truly wants you as his girlfriend, then he won't beat around the bush about it, not especially if he's holding your hands. But, in different cultures, holding hands is something that's done mutually between two people who are just casually dating. The way that I was raised, PDAs are strictly forbidden, and frowned upon. That's mostly when a young couple is around adults, who are very traditional with their values. Let him know how you feel about this. If it makes you uncomfortable, because you're not someone who he considers as his girlfriend, then don't let him cross that line. Set your own boundaries just in case, so that you don't get taken advantaged of. I wish the best of luck to the both of you...

I only wear it when I wear pants or skirts that could possibly show my underwear line. Or, whenever I feel like it, only if it's the soft or mesh-like material. Other than that, I try not to. You wanna know how it feels like wearing a thong? It feels like a chronic wedgy! At least for me it does, especially if it's the satin ones. I like how it looks, but prefer the bikini cut better. Less is more, I think. Like Amethyst said, I wouldn't overanalyze it. Just because a girl likes to wear thongs once in a while, it doesn't mean that her man will always get some action. To answer your question Tahlia, a g-string is like a thong, but thinner, about 1/8 of it's width. It bascially covers enough of the crotch area, and the rest of it is basically a piece of string. I don't like G-strings. I heard that women are more proned to vaginal infections when wearing G-strings, mainly because their privates aren't covered up as much.

Hi LoveLostLady, This part of your post caught my attention: I know what you mean about wanting to work things out, but that feeling must be mutual. Don't be his doormat. Relationships are about mutual reciprocity. If anything, he should also wake up and realize what's important for you too. Even if he's afraid to love, no man will ever give up on the woman that they love. Once they love someone, they try to work the relationship out through thick and thin. That also means that their partners should be doing the exact same. If things are this difficult early on, then ask yourself if he's really that worth it. Sure, relationships do have it's ups and downs, but if he's not feeling it, then there is no point in holding onto him. Remember that love shouldn't feel like pain. Sometimes, it can, only because relationships have its problems here and there, but once a partner breaks up with someone, they're saying: "You're not the one for me." Of course, there are also other circumstances that may not apply to this (i.e. some LDR's), but that's not the case with your relationship. I also know what you mean about being picky, and not enjoying casual dating. I'm picky myself. It's good to be picky. We're not talking about being picky about guys in a shallow way, but picky in terms of looking for qualities in a person based on their character, and that bond that we feel for them. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you will find better. Trust me. As long as you have faith, know your worth, know who you are, and live a simple and happy life, then you will have no problems with running into more love interests. But, you have to realize that every decision that you make, should be a smart decision. This also means investing your emotions on the 'right' person. If someone tells you that they want to break up, that's enough to say that that person just isn't worth your time or investment. Based on what I read in your last post, I see that it's tough for you to let go, because he was your almost like your first everything. That's what makes letting go that much harder. But the pain will go away eventually. It just takes time, just remember that. Also, it sounds like you're in the denial stage of the 'Grieving Process.' Hope this helps! Hang in there...

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her "I care, but we can't keep in touch anymore. Maybe somewhere down along the line, we can. But not for now. If you care about me, then you will give me my space to move on." If she respects you, and cares for you enough, then she should be mature enough to allow you your space to move on. Like Ballys said, she clearly knows what she wants, but she's just thinking about herself. It's not fair for her to keep you around, and toy with your emotions whenever she feels like it. She made the choice. She needs to deal with it. Breakups are tough, but the pain is only temporary. You'll find someone better! Hang in there...

Hi Ated, I think that it's safe to say that you can be friends with the ex's, but it's best to keep a distance. And, when you do, it's not your fault. Try not to feel guilty about it. If your ex's respect you enough, then they should also allow you the space to move on. If they don't, then they're either: 1. Too attached 2. Selfish If the ex can't let go, then I'd say, talk to him whenever he does call, only to console him, but keep the conversations short. Let him know that you can still be a friend. It's not like ex's have to be enemies, right? Then afterwards, tell him that it's best not to keep in touch as much anymore. Let him know that you care, but just don't feel comfortable about being close friends again, not at least for the time being. Tell him that he needs the time to heal, and that you will respect his space, even if he doesn't want that space. If the ex was the dumper and is too selfish to not give you your space (when I say selfish, I mean that the dumper already knows that he/she made a final decision about you. Calling up their ex's is just their way to fill in a void, and to toy around with their ex's emotions), then try not to feel guilty about telling them to stop calling. They really need to respect your space, especially if they broke your heart. And, if they can't give you your space, then don't feel guilty about blocking their numbers, disconnecting or changing your cell phone number, and blocking them through e-mail and/or through other alternative means. My ex still calls. He leaves me messages on the phone, and tries to make me feel guilty for not picking up, but I tell myself: "Hey. He screwed up. He lied. He cheated. He abused. I don't feel guilty." So, whatever it is, if the ex was the dumpee, then be gentle, but do let him know that he needs his own space to heal. If the dumper calls, then don't feel guilty about telling them to back away. I'd be careful about their intentions if they're calling. If they call to keep things friendly, then tell them, "We can be friends. Just give me my space to move on. Thanks for understanding." I hope this helps Ated. Life's too short to let the ex's ruin things for ourselves. Sever them off completely for now. Find yourself, and enjoy your life for the time being. Get on that diva attitude, and find time to pamper yourself. Get back into that hip mode, and realize that whatever they think, say, or do, doesn't matter, because from now on... life is better without them! Hope this helps. Good'ay mate! -Mahlina O

Hi Starkitty, my best advice: Be yourself. Be happy. Do not look for love, it will come to you. Enjoy your life in the meantime. Romance will come knocking on your door when you least expect it. That's just what I learned, based on my past experiences. Hope this Helps!

Good Question. I thought a lot about this myself. *sigh* I have to say that it's a combination of fate and free-will. Some nights, I think about one of my ex's that I used to have, and I think, "Gosh..He really came close to being THE ONE." I truly think that fate brought us together, because if I had not chosen to attend the wedding that I met him at, then we probably would've never met. It was so odd how we met. I actually knew his cousin, and his family a long time, before I met him. He used to hang out with my cousin when they were kids, and I was at his house a loong time ago when I was 8. We just never met, face-to-face. Then one night, we meet. Of all of the places, it had to be a wedding. I wasn't looking for love at that time. Just got out of a relationship, and really felt jaded. But, he turned everything around. I used to have this thing about the Chinese Zodiac, and choosing my partners based on it. I thought that my ex happened to be the year of the "Ox," my ideal match, but it turns out, he was either born on the year of the rat or something else, I forgot. Anyway, he was sooo close to being 'the one.' But, in my own free-will, deep down inside, I felt as if he wasn't the one. I was always shy around him, and couldn't completely be myself with him. And also, I was too intimidated by him. First of all, he was older, had his career started, all of his friends were successful, and where was I? Still a college student. But he showed me everything that could possibly be true love. He took me home to meet his mother and family. Flew me out to Boston to show me where he spent his life for the past 4 years of his schooling, introduced me to his instructors/classmates, gave me a tour of the hospital that he worked at. He was sincere. He pampered me. Did everything to show me that he was serious. Sometimes, I miss that. He even rescheduled his patients, traded shifts, crammed in his time at the clinic, so that he could fly back early to visit me. Now that I think about it, it was fate, but it was in my own free-will to not chose him as 'the one'. We had a mutual break-up. I don't regret it. Our values clashed. We first of all, weren't from the same socio-economic background. He grew up as a rich kid, I didn't. Although he treated me really well, I felt as though he was too vane in other aspects of his life, in terms of what he wanted. He found happiness in materialistic things, I didn't. He lived too much for this 'image' so to speak, when all I wanted was a simple life. Plus, I didn't like how he viewed people of different races. He made some really cruel remarks and generalizations of people that I couldn't agree with him on. That's a part of the reason why I thought that he wasn't the one. Anyway, to make a long story short, I think that when we're not looking for love, we stumble accross one of our life's greatest romances. That's when it's fate. I certainly won't forget about the things that he did for me. I appreciate it. But then again, he just wasn't a good match. Our deepest values conflicted, thereforeeee, in my own free-will, I did not give myself entirely to him. Nice topic! Thanks for letting me vent. P.S.-Another thing that I believe in is, fate allows us to meet the wrong people, so that we come closer to meeting the 'right' person.

I think that she's just venting. Me personally, when I talk about my ex's and say that they don't have a chance, I'm mostly just spouting off on my emotions. It helps to release it sometimes. So, I don't think that she has any other intentions, other than that. Hope this helps.

Okay, I'm laid back as well. But when my ex took me for granted, partied, did a couple of things to make me distrust him, he cheated once, I got tired of it, and grew apart from him. We were together for 4 years, the last year on and off, mainly because I couldn't handle the drama anymore. I only stuck it through, because I wanted to help guide his life in the right direction. I saw that his future was going down the hole, especially when he resorted to taking substances when he met these friends. Me being the person who cared and loved him, I got him to change his habits. I encouraged him to finish school, and change his life. I was really patient with him. I gave him my all. But, in the end, little things like him partying, drinking, getting drunk, really told me that his actions didn't take me seriously. I wanted a guy who took me serious, not someone who was into the party scene. That means that his actions should communicate this as well. Throughout those years, what he did, really hurt me. In the end, when he did change, I fell out of love, mainly because he wasn't the person that I wanted to love in the first place. I wanted someone loyal, serious, and had his life together. But that wasn't who he was to begin with. I got tired of always being there, and him not recognizing me for it. So, yes, she will grow sick of his behavior, if he continues on mistreating her. With women, we are loyal to our man, but when they hurt us one too many times, we walk away.

What's in the past, is in the past, right? If he did have a 3-some, then maybe he was just enjoying his young singles life. Perhaps that's just his preference? Try not to let it bother you. As long as he doesn't contract any vinerial disease, then I wouldn't worry about it. Make sure that he gets his blood test. Have him test for STDs, also, make sure that he's completely honest to you about this. If he hesitates to have the tests done, then be aware. I'm taking this class, and just looking at all of these genital warts, and diseases, really freaks me out. So, make sure that he's safe, so that you don't contract anything. Meanwhile, put the past where it belongs. If he truly doesn't enjoy 3-somes, then try not to let it bother you. But, if he does like it still, then that's a part of who he is. It's best to not change him, if that's his preference. But that will be something that will be conflictive of your values as well. I personally would find it hard to stay with a partner who wants enjoys 3-somes. I couldn't hang with a person like that. I think that sex should be between 2 people, especially because sex should be an act of love. Having a 3rd person in the picture, just doesn't communicate sex as love, rather, it's more of a lustful desire. To me, it says something about their character, if they enjoy it.

She can only handle so much. If he consistantly takes her for granted, then eventually, she'll get fed up and walk away. Some women give their man several chances, before they realize that that person's just not the one for them. They figure, "If he's the one for me, then why do I feel this way? Why does he leave me feeling worse than I did, prior to when the relationship began?" See, with some women, they realize these things early on. I think that sooner or later, she will walk out on this guy, mainly because he seems so nonchalant about her. If he's not investing the same amount of effort that she's putting into this relationship, then she will lose her interest in him too. Relationships are really about reciprocating. If one partner doesn't treat the other the right way, then eventually, there isn't really a true relationship to build on anyway. That relationship's built on unstable ground. For any healthy relationship to happen, both partners will show each other mutual interest. It's all about maintaining a balance of interest on both parties. That's important for any healthy/happy relationship to occur.

1) Relationship with Honesty (or Honesty Relationship) do they still exist? They exist, but it takes time to see who's honest and who's not. Sometimes, you will gain a true friend from get go. Every little action that they show you, shows that they are honest. It's their intentions behind thier actions that really say a lot. For instance, are they consistantly there for you when you are down, and you vice versa to them? If so, then that person truly is someone who you can rely on, thereforeeee, he/she is honest. 2) Is it really that difficult to stay Faithful in a relationship? Not at all. At least for me, it's not difficult. I think that it depends on a person's character in terms of faithfulness or not. For instance, are they devoted to their family? Do they have good values? Do they do things for a good cause? There are so many things that can determine a partner's faithfulness. One common trait that I find is a person who's commited to anything in his/her life. When someone's really devoted to something, then most likely, they're probably a very faithful person, in general, I think. 3) Is there True Love and Soulmate? Do they really exist? I believe in true love and soutlmates. Love doesn't happen everyday, but when you run into that person, it's almost like you can actually finally relax and breath. You find comfort in knowing that the other person truly cares for you. And, when you do run into that person, you won't ever doubt their intentions, because they show love to you without you having to ask. In terms of soulmate, they exist too. But, it's rare to find someone who you find that complete bond with. When you do, things just feel right. But once again, it's rare to run into that person who you just feel that strong connection with.

The thing that I don't get is, why would he kiss her? Whenever I dance with someone at a club, and if they're going to touch me disrespectfully like groaping me, or trying to touch me in any other way, I say, "Excuse me. Please don't do that." OR, I immediately remove their hand away from me. And, if the guy has a problem with it, then he can go jack off. I've been in situations in which guys at clubs do try to get away with these things, but I first of all, don't get myself into that predicament, by #1: preventing things like that from happening in the first place, and #2: not giving a creep my number. Honestly, I like to go there once in a while for the sake of dancing, not to pick up guys. I can't trust guys at clubs. Some people can, but I can't. So, either she's probably okay with meeting people at clubs, or she doesn't have the willpower to say no? But even then, why give her # out? She could've easily said that she has a boyfriend (even if she doesn't). Maybe she feels the need to have someone there as a backup? Maybe she feels a bit insecure about not having a boyfriend, so she needs that kind of attention? I don't know. Whatever it is, if you can look past this situation, then communicate about how you feel with her. Maybe she was trying to get revenge in some odd way. If she's what you want, then talk to her. But, if something like this bothers you this much, then maybe it's time to move on. Relationships build on trust, so either way, it's really up to the both of you if you really want to work it out or not. But her giving her number out just seems kinda fishy. She should tell him to get lost, if she doesn't like him, or tell him that she's back with her man, so that he can back off.

She didn't really have to give out her number...If I were in her shoes, I would've not given my number out to a guy who I don't like. Maybe she did it to get you jealous? If that's the case, then that's not cool either. Whatever it is, she doesn't seem to be interested in him anyway. Looks like he wants something, she knows it, but isn't taking him seriously. Doesn't sound like something that I'd worry about. If she did like him, then she wouldn't feel the need to tell you about him.

Well, my ex cheated because I didn't let him have my virginity. He was in college at that time, while I was still in high school. I think that he mainly did it because he was into the party scene. It hurt like hell, but I ran into guys who were far worse as players. We stuck it through for another 4 years. I didn't find out until about 6 months into the relationship. When I did, he still denied it. We periodically broke off on and off the last year when we were together. He was nothing but whipped. I think it's because he learned his lesson, but by the end of it all, I lost all of my physical attraction for him. It was gone. Nada. Nothing left. My aunt lectured to me, and said that as human beings, we're meant to procreate, both men and women, thereforeeee cheating is hard for us to prevent. She says that in the heat of the moment, it's hard to hold back on these things, and, if a man were to ever cheat, then he should never let his wife know. In other words, she tolerates being cheated on, in a sense that she thinks that it's a normal animal behavior, but she won't tolerate with it, if it happens consistantly. Anyway, she has her own opinions, but in my own opinion, it's really hard to trust a person who cheated on you once before. Those feelings just aren't repairable. You can't turn back the hands of time and fall in love with the person ike you initially did... Once a cheater cheats, that bond isn't the same anymore. At least after all of those years, I did gain a friend in him. He's still always there for support, and treats me well, sort of like a best friend. But I have to cut him loose out of my life. Although he always tried to be honest with me afterwards, I just can't trust him. Those feelings for him are just gone... About your boyfriend, enjoy the relationship while it lasts. If it does happen, then realize that pain is a part of life. You will never know what to expect. There isn't much that you can do to prevent your partner from cheating. At least the pain that comes along with it, teaches you lessons, and allows you to become stronger as a grown adult. If things work out with your boyfriend, then great. But if they don't, then realize that you'll find another person like him or even better, in the future. My ex could have been my soul-mate, but I know deep down in my heart, he isn't. I know that I will find better. So, that's my side of the story. Hope this helps.

You're welcome. Well the thing here Jackson3, is...(btw, I do know your pain. That's why I care enough to write back.) The whole situation is about Respect. You must first of all, ask if this guy's worth it. Here are some questions that I would ask, if I were in your shoes. I know that love is blind, so hang tight. This is what I see: 1. If a guy truly loves me, then wouldn't that mean that he would want to work things out no matter what? If he does, then he would make darn sure that he shows his effort. 2. If I'm in a exclusive relationship with someone, and they want to break up, what are the reasons why they want to get back together? Are the reasons substantial enough? 3. Why did we have to break up in the first place? If he's going to be like this now, then how will he be like in the long run? 4. If he can easily walk away, then what does it say about his devotion to me? Does he treat me like I'm mediocre? Or does he treat me better than that? If he's like this to me now, then how will he be like, if we end up getting married and having kids? Would he walk out so easily? If he truly loves me, then he wouldn't leave me hanging, he wouldn't let me question things, and he would be a 'Real Man' by showing me honesty. See, a Real Man never stops fighting for what he believes in. This also means fighting for the woman that he loves. There are only a few women that a man will give his heart to. So ask yourself, "Am I one of the special ladies that he shows his devotion to, other than to his mother? If this is the case, then how does he prove to me that I am worth it?" Jackson3, know that you are worth fighting for. I've been in a situation in which my ex played with my heart. Being in love with him, I was totally blind. It hurt me more than you will ever know. It hurts most to know that he dangled my emotions around, without feeling any remorse. He was a poker-faced liar, nothing but a smooth player. And remember, a player is good at his game. It hurt me most to know that I let myself fall into his trap. I noticed the red flag warnings early on, but just let things slip away by being in 'denial'. Well...that's love for ya...sometimes, we think too much with our hearts, rather than finding logic to our situations. I hope this helps! Hang in there girl...

Sounds like he's keeping your stuff, just for something else. Not in a good way though. In other words, he's using this situation for his own convenience. It's almost like playing games, kind of like teasing. He figures that if he keeps your stuff, then whatever he says, or however he wants to mess around with your mind, it will be to his advantage. If I were in your shoes, I would try to forget about my stuff, at least for now. His tactic kinda sounds shady to me. If someone truly loves you, then they would respect you enough to try to make a relationship work out. And, if they truly loved you, and things don't work out, then they should also be mature enough to return your things without making it so difficult. That's just what I'm sensing.... I also see that something else is not right. Why break up, and mention getting back together again? Especially if he was so adament about not making things work out the first time he called it quits? Remember to watch out for his alterior motives. Maybe he has another backup chick. That's why I see that something's just not right. Make sure that he's not trying to take advantage of you in any way. Take care...Keep us updated.

Good advice Guy40az. He's right! Women can easily sense phonyness in a guy. Always be true to who you are. This reminds me of an incident, in which I can tell if a person's truly nice. For instance, when I'm out on a date with a guy, and he suddenly hands over a dollar bill to a homeless person, I can tell if he means to or not. If he doesn't mean it, then I get a little creeped out. It's the little things that a person says that also matches up with their actions behind their intentions. So, if it's in your nature to be nice, then do so. But, if you don't like to, then don't. There's always a person for everyone. Just because someone's preference is for one kind, then it doesn't mean that it will be the same preference for everyone. Remember to always be you. The person who loves you should accept you for all that you are. Hope this helps.