Ccian

Just ask, where is this going, and see what she says but be prepared for a responce that may not be what ur looking for.

There are no gurantees that you could get her back, but the best thing to do is totally no contact. I cut my ex off for two months and she came running back then she got cute again with me and i cut her off again about a week ago. When your not in the picture they see what they had. But it takes time. No contact, no emails no text mess, no phone,, no cards no letters, no excuses. So go out have some fun, get real busy. I know its hard,believe me Its been 4 months since my relationship ended but i am talking from experience. 2 months no contact and I am the love of her life again. So, thats all the advice I can give. U have to be willing to walk away to get them back, but again u never know. good luck and stay strong

Thats the problem. Your too available. Even if your sitting home with nothing to do, you have to stop making her number one. No one can take advantage of you unless you let them. See what happens when you dont call her back or jump when she is wants you too. I bet you she begins to call you and chase you alot more. I read this thing that you are only supose to accept 50% of all the invites you get from a woman. So i think your long over due to just not be around. Good luck

leaving a message is contact dude. lol, dont do it for your own good. I did not talk to my ex for almost two months then she called me for a full night before i returned her calls the next day after i got off work. Moral now she wants to work on things as soon as she cleans up a little mess she created. I still dont call or contact her. U look needy by contacting them. Bro get real busy. No joke you have to keep busy or this will tortue you. Work out, go out with friends, get a hobby, but dont wait for the phone to ring, it could be a while. Two weeks is no time except when ur the person waiting for the call

ok pal, here is a book that i read that helped me big time. Now my relationship is not saved yet, but we are trying to work throught things slowly. The book is called stop your divorce or lovers rejection. I think the web site is called link removed It has been a 4 month process from the time we broke up till the day she said, lets get back together. We are not back together, she has some mess to clean up, but we are spending time and working on things and we will see what happens. Keep in mind she wanted nothing to do with me told me she did not love me anymore, etc,, now 4 months into it she tells me i am the love of her life. So we will see,, good luck

Well i guess it depends. How long did the two u get together after the break up. My ex and I were together 6 years (how long together could be a factor too) she left me for this other guy. Who is totally jealous of me and always thinks my ex is sneeking around with me. Well as of last week she is. She wants me back. So if your gf/bf just got out of something i would be worried too, espically if they did not have time to get over them. Let me make this point, my ex told a friend of mine that we would never get back together again, and she told that to many people when she was angry and i bet she is telling that to her new boyfriend, who she is going to dump as soon as she cleans up her mess, they break up and get back constantly. Even if u do the breaking up, u need time to get over the relationship before u jump to the next. My ex found this guy before we broke up. Good luck

Why not try that book light his fire. It may help make him feel special. I got the light her fire book because my now ex told me i did not make her feel special. We are currently working on fixing our relationship, and today i sent her an email romantic letter. She responded very positively, i have heard nothing but positive things about the series of books. good luck

Ok, check out this web site, link removed.. i think that is the site, i got a book there to help me save my relationship. It helped alot, i am not going to tell u its saved right now, but we are talking and spending time trying to fix what went wrong. This woman was hating me, told me she did not love me any more. Well as of last week she wanted me back and said i was the love of her life. the book is called, Stop your divorce or lovers rejection when your the only one who wants too. Its an e-book,,,, me and my ex did not talk for almost two months, this process has taken about 4 months. from the day we broke up to the day she told me she wanted me back. Good luck.. feel free to private message me if you have any more questions.

First are u sure its love or just infatuation. When my ex left me she was crazy in love so she thought with this other guy. So i did some research and realized that she was infatuated. Well now four months later, she wants me back. I myself before my relationship ended, thought i was in love with this other woman. I never did anything about it because i had a girlfriend at the time. After all is said and done, i am single now and still would not go out with the girl because i realize its not love. Maybe u have to figure out whats missing in your relationship that makes you u so happy with this other guy. When me and my ex talked we figured out what happened we both had issues that we are now trying to address and in time maybe we can get back together. U dated your husband before and u two got married so i would say your in love with him.

from all the things i read on infatuation, it rarely turns to true love. Most of the time the reasons they liked the person then becomes the reasons they hate the person.

Ok the first thing to do is relax. She is not going to get over four years. How do i know, i was in a 6 year relationship and my girl left me to for someone else and last week she came to me crying and wants to work things out after she cleans out the mess she made. now that was almost 4 months later. The first few months, i chased her, called constantly,, etc,, then i got this book called how to save a relationship when ur the only one who wants too. I also checked out what infatuation really was and yes she was in it. So I will tell u get real busy real fast. Go out have fun, u look more confident and it kind of tosses cold water on them because she is expecting u to be home pining for her. Now no contact, no emails, nothing from u. Only respond if she calls and keep the calls short, no joke less then 10 mins. If not u look needy and conqured. What happens is women see us guys as conqured when we chase. I learnd the hard way. I did not talk to my ex for almost two months, no contact and then now we are talking, and she emails me daily and calls me. Now dont be home for all the calls and if u are, just dont pick up the phone the first time and call her the next day. My ex began calling me last tuesday. I did not pick it up then she called my job the next day. I did not return the call until that night on my way home from work. Dont get me wrong its hard as hell but the sooner u cut her off the sooner u will get her back. I can kick myself for wasting two months of chasing on her. now in the mean time work on you. I been creating the complete package, i been working out, cooking and learning how to be a romantic guy by getting some books like how to light her fire,, etc,,, work on u, and really give her the space she needs. dont let your emotions dictate how u will act or u will lose,, read the art of war that helped me too,,, so get busy, get educated and become the complete package, in no time she will be calling. I have proven that and let me tell you a few friends of mine got the books i told them and got their bfs/gfs/ back,,, no joke, I have been educatecd and this wont happen to me again. My girl is on her way back and I will keep her this time and wont lose her again. stay calm

I was in a similar situation. My gf of 6 years decided that she was not in love with me anymore and broke up with me. She really did not tell me too much as to why. I tried from may-july to get her back and it was not working. She had hooked up with someone that she met while we were together. I got this e-book called how to save a relationship when your the only one who wants to. I also cut off all contact with her. No calls, no emails nothing. She instant messaged me not too long ago and after a month and a half no contact, i called her because a credit card bill of hers came to the apartment that we shared. The phone call kind of broke the ice, but it was not very good because her new BF was sitting right next to her through the conversation. This guy lives in MA and I live and NY and she is in NY too staying with a friend. He is always up her butt.. Well when she got back to NY on tuesday of this week she called me four times, but I did not pick up any calls. The next day she called my job and again i did not take the call. We played phone tag for a bit on wednesday but finally we connected. It was awkward, then finally she got angry because she felt i was being phony. We met and had it out. Actually in a positve manor, it was two months since we last saw each other. We hung out last night too, she wants to work on things with me. It will take some time because she has to end what she began with this guy. I told her we cant just be friends so either we fix this or move on and she agreeded. She wants to go to theraphy together. It took her until september to actually tell me what happened to us and the time apart let me reflect too and think how things went wrong. I dont know what her issues are but my ex told me when we broke up that she did not love me anymore, etc she loved me like a friend but that was it. Then Wednesday night she told me exactally how she felt and all the whys. I guess the time apart made her reflect. I told her we are both good people we just made mistakes and she agreeded. Give her time with no contact, get that book, it will help you in ways u never imagined. Honestly after our last conversation a week ago, i totally decided that we were done. I was moving on and not going to try anymore. It was not until i totally gave up and did not care of the outcome that she came around. The no contact gives both of you the time to see things and miss each other. Hell my ex even cryed last night, and this woman in 6 years may have cried 5 times. I was floored. She says i know things will be fine it will just take some time. I told her i dont trust her or her intentions, but lets just hang and have fun. BUT she does not have an endless amount of time to cut things off with this guy. I am seeing a few people (i am not but i said i was) and since we both know we just cant be friends, we are not just going to keep hanging out. We hugged last night and both said see u soon.. I wont be too available to her, she has to see life goes on. A few of my buds this summer got dumped too. They moved on much quicker then i did, i guess because they were not together as long. But as soon as they stopped chasing, cut off contact and moved on, their women came back. good luck

It does not mean your putting out any signals. They enjoy being around you and in the moment they want to fool around. I know this girl i will call her the kissing bandit,,lol when she drinks she likes to make out with anyone and yes she has a boyfriend. I dont understand it but that is how it seems to go. You could also be seen as a challenge because you dont go along with the kissing etc. Women love a challenge. When i want a woman i just act as if i dont and I always seem to get them. I agree with you not being a dog and fooling around with these women. Take their advances as a compliment.

I tell you my ex was calling me all the time after she left me for someone else. But she had such an attitude and was lieing to me about things i was not even asking. That i just will never understand. Well i cut her off for over a month almost a month and a half. I called her last week because some of her bills came to the apt we use to share (surprised because i thought she had them forwarded) i called and left a message on her cell she called me back with her new thang right by her side,,lol not sure whos benefit that was for but ok,, she talked to me for 40mins, but she was still very high on herself and finally i told her to stop blowing smoke up her a$$ that i was not still into her (but i am) and right now i dont even like her and i will make no efforts again to have anything to do with her (she wants to be friends of course). She told me she will call when she comes back to ny,, her new thang lives in MA.. ok well she is back because 7 mins after i am normally home she called then called my cell,, BUT guess what i wont answer. She did not leave a message so there is nothing to return,,lol see how that works. It has been my experience that they ususally eventually call, but its on their time not ours. So be patient go have fun and live life. It easier said then done but i tell you me and my bow flex have become best friends and i am so focused that is crazy. I dont wonder what she is doing, and when she will call.. KEEP BUSY people. like a good friend told me, if they were thinking of you they would be there but they are not with you so they dont care. I wonder how many calls i will get tonight,,lmaoo,, guess what i still wont answer.. [/img]

LOL ok i wont lie those i slept with right off i did not want to turn them into anything. The woman i was with for 6 years we waited a month. But your on the right track, dont sleep with him and just begin to get to know each other and see where it goes, but dont tell him how you feel yet. That is scary because you two slept together he may think your a stalker or something..lol He keeps calling, its hard to say he may be interested in getting to know you or he may just want more of what you gave him the last time. good luck

Ok stop asking him if he wants to work things out. You have to act unaffected by the break up. It is like pouring cold water on them. It makes them question all aspects of the themself and the relationship. Secondly, go out and have fun, live life. He is not your boyfriend, you broke up he does not want to get back together (so he told you). If he thinks you moved on, got on with your life and you stop asking him about getting back together. He may start chasing you. Right now he does not have too. Your doing all the work. Let him come to you. Go out have fun and dont answer the phone. Dont be at his disposal. If he gets mad oh well, your not together because he does not want to get back. His choice.. that is the only way you will know if he loves you or is just as you said bored. If he loves you and get jealous because you move on without him, thats your answer. If he blows you off because your out with your friends then your right he just has nothing better to do.

Just leave her alone, no contact. My ex and I broke up after 6 years (second time we broke up) we broke up in may after a few months of her playing games with me to pull me back in (i guess things were not going well) i cut her off for a month totally no emails nothing. She would im me about bull, i called her last week she was with her new thang in a different state and we talked for 40 mins then she said she will call me when she got back. I said what ever, at this point i am making no effort well i get home around 7 when we were together now i get home earlier figures right, well she called me at 7:07 i did not pick up and then called my cell again i did not pick up. I am not going to be to availiable to her. She did not leave a message so as far as i care, nothing to return. My ex moved on before we broke up. did the same thing last year too. Always has to find someone to jump too. Well summer is over(did last summer too), i guess she wants her winter ususal back. Oh well not this time. So just be patient. When i want someone I treat them like a cat. When you ignore a cat it always comes to you. I always got these beautiful women because I just ignored them no matter how i felt for them. I love my ex, but she has to learn what life is like without me. I will ignore her until she gets angry enough to actually leave me a message. lol then i wont return it until the next day.

Whats the rush? I read some where it takes half the time two people were together to get over that past relationship. If you dont want to be rebound then give her the space and time she needs if not your doomed.. If you keep pushing and telling her its your way or no way. It will be no way. She loves you it just needs time. Take it slow. Good relationships are built on time not over seconds. Be there for her and understand she loves you but is not ready for more then what she is giving you now. You were single and did not just get out or a relationship, so your ready. But as i learned not everyone is on our time clock.......

i am there now too. The second time does hurt so much more. I dont understand why. I could not function this time and the first time, i was like fine its done and i moved on in days. Its 5 months now and I am just beginning to move on. I am working out alot, and spending time with family and friends. The desire for dating is not there yet but maybe by the end of the year. All i can tell is to keep busy. Very busy. I was not doing things at work and finally i got caught up. I been tossing myself in me and learning alot. I been doing research about relationships, manupulation and now learning how to be more romantic. Take this negative and turn it into a positive. Life is not over even though it hurts like hell. In time that goes away. Working out helps the mind. It makes you stronger, both physically and emotionally. I increased my workouts to twice a day and boy am i focused and in a fantastic mood off of a sudden. Dont spend the time thinking of your ex put the time in you. No one is worth messing up with your job or school. Thats your future and now your ex is your past...........

WoW, sounds like me but i invested it for 6 years. I must say, its been almost 5 months since we broke up and i realized that during those 6 years, she was all i focused on and forgot about me. Now I am putting the energy in me and i feel fantastic. I work out, spend time with family and friends and work on hobbies that went to the way side while i was developing this young woman. She thanked me for everything I taught her as she was walking out the door to her new thang that she aquired before she left. She too told me, i was too good for her,, etc. The truth is now i know she is right. As you will see too. I spent 6 years wrapped up in her and helping her with confidence, career, and culture. But thats ok now i am concentrating on me. We barely talk, because that is how i want it. I wont add anymore to her education for someone else to enjoy her. I wont do that for anyone again. We need to find people who are where we need them to be already, and not spend our time creating. A friend of mine told me. You need someone who actually brings something to the relationship. I now she that she was happy just showing up. I now want someone who wants more then just showing up. In time you may see that too. Take care of you because no one else is...........

Well I can relate with the out of the blue aspect of the ending. I thought things were fine while my GF was shopping for a new relationship. I have to tell you I struggle everyday, because I love her like I never loved anyone. I am taking the time to take care of me and reading books on how to get over someone. It appeared to me that she woke up one day and said hey i am not in love with you anymore but i love you like family. You have been there for me when no one has, but, i want to be single. Single my eye, she already moved on. She lied to me for months while she lived in my apartment, until she could save enough money to get her own place. After a month of taking her verbal abuse, I realized that things were not adding up. I tossed her out on her butt. She moved in with a friend, and splits her time between NY and MA where her new love is. (her new love lives with his parents,,lol and now she sleeps on a couch at a friends) She informed me last week that she was finally happy and in a real relationship,,, I guess she is slow, that it took her 6 years to think she was not in a real relationship. She has not worked in years, she has been trying to find herself. But now she is in a real "50/50" relationship. lol,, wonder what her 50 is,,, she is someone that i realized thought just showing up was enough. Cutting her off was the best thing i could of done for me. When we last spoke she said she would call me this week. Guess what, I wont answer. I wont respond to emails,,etc,,, She did what was best or easier for her to do and now i will do what is easier for me. Think about you now, because neither one of them are thinking about us.

Well i was with there girl and two years in a row she broke up with me in the summer and last winter we got back together. BUT this winter I wont,,lol,, i am not a coat you could pull out of the closet when the winter comes,,,,lol,,,, So i say yes, summer is for fun. Winter is for commitment.

Stop being there for this guy and stop loaning him money. Your not a bank. Dont let this guy use you. I was in your situation with my ex gf. I cut her off. Its the hardest thing to do but you have too. If you cant your overly dependent on them and u really need to do it all the more. NO CONTACT,, change your screen name, and dont pick up your phone. Just get busy. You looks/weight should not be a factor, but it appers that it bothers you. Spend some of your time take care of you and having fun. You will feel more attractive and happy. In time you will see that you dont need someone in your life who is only nice to you when they need something or have no one else. I learned that too......

In may my gf broke things off after 6 years, i had a hard time for two months because she wanted to be friends. I cut her off and it got way easier for me. Now I filling my time with hobies, working out and friends and here. I read lots of books and just order this book how to get over a broken heart in 12 weeks. I read somewhere that it takes half the time u were together to get over them. My ex had a new one before we broke up. This is the second time so i want to be over her before she tries to come back again. I dont want to hurt someone either, so i wont date until I am able to. So i applaude anyone who takes the time to move on and not hurt anyone else.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO, dont buy her anything. If she calls she calls and if not dont call her she likes you. U buy her something ur conqured. She is not your GF so dont buy her a thing. Let this work its way out, dont chase dont call and dont spend a dime until she is your gf. Buying her something looks like your trying to buy her. Any woman who gets back with your for buying her something, u dont want her in your life.