hennypenny

I have read everyones replies and as niave as it sounds I still love him....which is why I am writing again.....Yesterday I was going to pay some bills and as I pulled over to drop some letters off at the mail box He(Aaron) rode his bike right up along side my car. Not wishing tobe rude I began talking with him. Pretty soon we had been talking for an hour, when I told him I had to go he asked what I was doing tonight....I told him nothing and he asked if I would come over to his apartment. I said i would but, as he went to leave he asked me if I could do him a favor ,he asked if he could borrow $20.00. I said yes and gave him the money ; He said he'd pay me back when i got to his apartment last night. So I went over, we talked and just had fun. He said he only had a hundred dollar bill but, if I would call for a pizza he'd pay with his money and then he'd give me my money. I did but, the pizza place didnt have change for such a big bill so, I paid for it on my visa. We sat there watching some ol' Jason movies and laughing....but, everytime he stood up he'd go to the window and look out like he was waiting for someone, then he picked up his house keys. It made me very uncomfortable like I was keeping him from something. So I excused myself and told him i had to be leaving....he walked me out and we talked for another hour at my car. As one of his friends went riding by, he told me he'd get my money tomorrow . Then he stuck out his hand like he expected me to shake his hand( as long as I've ever known this boy he's never shook my hand) It was weird...it caught me off guard but, I shook it and drove off as he began talking with his friend. All day, i've been trying to figure out what I'm feeling, what he's feeling ...everything??? Dont know what to think so any advice would be greatly appericated. Thank you all again.....Hennypenny

kantore-- having been on the receiving end of an e-mail from an ex...let me tell you, if u guys ended on a good note, then she'll be all too thrilled to hear from u.....but if it was a bad note......that can get tricky...I agree with winkie about saying some thing made u think of her( cute or funny is up to u) it'll make it less awkward sounding.....be prepared for all possabilities as well. She maybe seeing some1 or not. Don't ask if she is right away either....it'll sound like very desperate.....but ask her how lifes treating her.....just things that u would normally ask a friend....and don't be afraid or nervous.....ur not doing anything wrong or bad right?! I hope everything turns out for the best....Good Luck sweetie

chedchase-- I was reading ur posts and I it made me think....mainly of my ex. I remember telling him not only did I lose the love of my life but, I lost my best friend as well. Some times those lines can blur....if she's not seeing a future with u( as in marriage) why be together? comfort maybe? I mean I can understand not being ready for marriage but, to not be able to see urself with this person is another thing. have u thought of just being brutally honest and sitting down and discuss what's been said.....stop boiling over what could be and just ask? It'll probably be a little scary because its boiled down to the ---does she or doesn't she question but, at least u'll know. On another note, the earrings sound sweet but, why do you have to give her some thing with a price tag on it to win her back?? If she needs material possessions thrown at her to make her think of getting back with you, maybe it's not a good idea.....Only you know her so, u have to rely on what ur heart feels...

CREEPSHOW- I always fall back on the old adage: u cant see the forest for the trees. When we're in the middle of all this mess, we dont see the next mess we're about to step into....u know? About a year ago, my ex did the same thing, he invited me over and we weren't even together at the time but, I love him so I figured he needed some1 to talk to...after a manipulated conversation, we were kissing and messing around, only we didnt stop. I ended up losing my virginity to him that night......More and more I think about it he was using me and now he won't even look at me ....sweetie, walk away......if u want to move out, do it on ur own 'cause it only sounds extremely complicated if u move in together....but, advice can only get u so far. U are the only 1 who can decide....don't regret but, dont get used either.....

Tearsofadragon I am so amazed by ur strength.....when my ex would come back, he'd always want to sit and talk about when we were together....and that would lead to confessions on his part....he'd tell me he loves me still, he misses me, needs me, he'd even beg for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th,.....11th chance and I'd give in. Some times those ex's u speak of come back because their looking for what they use to have....some1 who loved them, desired them but, mostly they come back when everything else is crumbling at feet.....my ex always came back when his luck was down, my family said it was because no matter how bad things got with him, I'd always take care of him, love him and give him the support we all need when the world looks bleak....that and they said I was his good luck....things would change for the better when we were together.....but, things got worse in my world when he was around. the funny thing is I can't give up on him.....I told this to my mom when he came around a few months ago....and she wanted to know why. I guess, its because I lost so much to him.....my heart, my soul, my first kiss, my virginity, my joy, my gramma stopped talking to me because I was letting him back into my life again and again but, I made myself a promise. Of all the things I lost I promised myself I wouldn't lose hope ...hope for him and everyone else....my compassion. Some times, we can screw up so badly and there's some one there to forgive us......to believe we can be better or that we are better. I use to believe aaron was torturing me by reminding me of our past....he'd sit there and talk about every day we were together....but, some times its the memories of the good times that make the bad so small....u know. If I sat here and thought about every thing bad about aaron.....I'd b so bitter towards him and thats not who I am....and I refuse to change because of him....No one says u have to let her back into ur life but, some times we all need some one to believe in us...to believe we are capable of being better. Have u ever heard of acedia?? It's an emotion dysfunction.....and some times it can start small and over time blossom into a huge problem...don't fall victim......don't b used but, don't keep hate in ur heart either sweetie

unfortunately snowYs baby....I know what ur feeling and I hate to say this but, u got royally screwed. U know that ol' saying about not seeing the forest for the trees.....well, that pretty much describes why u didn't see he was lying....We all believe we can tell when some one is lying to us but, when it comes to loves...some times we have our eyes focused on them and the fact that we love them so hard we don't see the truth or we don't want to see....Why re-invent urself sweetie?? don't change who u are because some 1 else messed up. Believe me, I " re-invented" myself when it happened to me and I am so cynical towards love now.....With time, that feeling of wishing he'd come back will fade......but, until then keep busy, have some fun, don't sit around waiting for that chance he may come back.....I did for a long time, I use to tell myself, he'll come to his senses and realize how amazing we are together and how much he loves me. Then I started going out with my family.....swimming, fishing, even movies.....it's gotten easier but, I know in my heart.....if he comes back, I'll let him in......Don't be weak like me. make the strongest choice for u..... The best advice my mom ever said was this: nothing is unforgivable.....she told me this after my ex wouldn't talk to me when I got really drunk 1 night at a mutual friend's party and made a huge fool out of myself. The next day, I went back and apologized to every person that helped me, including my bf. He said I embarrassed him and I should go home and think about what I did.....mind you he could totally humiliate me by bragging about girls who were giving their #s to him infront of mutual friends and I was crucified. So believe me ur guy was probably looking for an excuse to get the attention off of his lies by saying you were wrong for telling his bf about everything......There is nothing wrong with what you did.

Hi- I read ur post and I use to hate it when my older cousins would say," Ur young, u don't know what love is yet." So, I won't say that but, understand we love so many people in our life time.....some is honest love and other times its lust and the idea that we are desired. when you find a person you have such intense feelings for.....follow what ur heart is saying. But, I'll say the same thing my mom said when I told her I had the same kind of feelings for this amazing guy. She said,"don't set ur self up for disappointment. We love so many people in our lives......some times its a forever kinda love and other times its a crush/infatuation. So have fun, don't say things u'll regret later but, most of all don't hold back on feelings. If u think u like her....tell her. If u truly feel it's love.....tell her. From what you say, It sounds like you understand the consequences of those 3 little words. But, understand this, once you say something or do anything it can change everything between the both of you. The most important advice I can offer is this: love is not perfect.....it can get messy and cruel. some one will always get hurt even if they won't admit it. I hear ur problem and I see myself a few years ago. I would get all dressed up to go to college, work, the store....just in case, I saw him.....We would get each other in trouble talking so much and even though he has changed into some one I don't know any more....I can remember every fun thing we did together, as friends and as lovers......and I don't regret any of it....even after he broke up with me 11 times......I still to this day love him......so no regrets, trust ur heart, trust her, and b honest.....good luck sweetie

lolpants--I was reading ur dilemma and I have to agree with swingfox.....as a girl myself, sometimes we mess with ur guys heads and other times we just don't see that we're sending mixed signals. if ur really interested she knows 'cause let's face it.....most guy's sux at hiding their feelings. So come clean tell her how u feel....but, a little advice here, don't just drop it all in her lap. It can be a lil' overwhelming it hear a friend say they've got feelings for u, u know? another thing, r u prepared for the consequences of ur actions? In high school, I was always afraid to tell my best friend( Brian) that I was totally in love with him. I was afraid it would change how he treated me and that I would lose my best friend. I think I was right to not express my feelings for him. Then I fell in love with a friend a few years ago, and as our relationship dissipated, (unfortunately I was right about friends and dating) He couldn't treat me like b4 we went out.....so think out ur actions sweetie.....but, don't have regrets either......I don't regret loving my ex.......I just regret he couldnt see me as anything except the girl he dated....

Hi....I wish my story was something new but, it's ur typical dating issue. Let me begin by describing myself: I'm American Mexican, short, chubby, long brown hair, brown eyes, light skinned, 21 years old now I was 19 when Aaron and I first met. I met Aaron, this great guy, when I was working at a hot dog stand in front of the store he worked at, as a cart attendant. We got to be good friends and I admit I was very attracted to him, he has these amazing green eyes, he's half and half( black and white) very athletic and deaf. It took us 8 months to admit we liked each other....well, at least that's how long it took him to finally ask me out. (he was the first man I ever kissed, ever made love to, he was my first everything) I'm a late bloomer I guess I always wanted to wait until I was 100% sure I was in love We were inseperable for the first month we were together. Then he started listening to his friend who was only interested in physically beautiful morally corrupted young girls. which I never have been able to fall into that catagory. So he dumped me. After a few days, he returned and I took him back. Well, this little dance of break-up and get back together went on for the next 2 years with a grand total of 11 break-ups. To make a long story short, I no longer work at the hot dog stand and he no longer works at the hardware store. He's come back a few times mainly for help (ex rides, food, compassion, etc.) I've always been there for him and recently he's become this person I no longer know.....When he was the one who suggested we hang out and be friends still. He'll ignore me at his new job, walk past me like I don't exist....I've confronted him on his behavior a few months back, when out of nowhere he IM me and told me he was over me and I needed to get over him, and his reply to my question of why does he treat me so differently was because he still has feelings for me. I helped him a few more times with a few rather large money loans and his behavior went right back to ignoring me......whats wrong with me? Us? Him? any advice would b greatly appreciated....I love him so much it hurts

sweetie after reading ur deliemma I gotta say....maybe she's using u....believe me I know how u feel about ur ex or rather I can relate . I feel the same way about my ex....and we've been broken up a lot longer than 2 months. I wish some 1 would have told me this little piece of advice b4 I let my ex back over 10 times in less than 2 years " they shouldn't have to leave u to realize they need u in their life" my ex said every line imaginable from....he needed time to work out his problems, I like and I care about you to .....I'm not ready for a relationship but, the worst was when he sat there and said he'd closed his heart a long time ago. But, he'd always come back saying he loves me and I'm the most important thing in his life.....Just remember no 1 likes 2 b alone so, when he said all those nice things I believed he meant it.......look closely at her stop looking for the girl u fell in love with and ur eyes may see a completely different person..... the fact is she may need u because she's feeling exactly what ur feeling but, what happens when she realizes ur still the same person and so is she Don't let n e 1 tell u what to chose but, don't regret n e thing either .....I know I do