in recognition of...

I've been cheated on before, and I think it's the worst thing anyone can do to someone. I wouldn't be surprised if he breaks up with you. Yes I'm harsh, but once you've been cheated on, the term "forgiving" seems less and less appealing

all I have to say is this: there's someone out there for everyone. Keep your spirits up cause she could be knockin on your door anyday now. You just never know.

To be honest with you and answer your question, being friends, close friends...was painful. I think my downfall was because I kept hanging out with her/being good friends with her, even sometimes kissing. I would hate to see someone else in my position. I don't know your situation but I do know mine, and being around her as a good friend put me where I am now. I never got over her. Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appriciate it.

hey thanks guys...I'll try doing both although I'm having trouble developing feelings for anyone else at the moment (had some great opportunities but blew them cause I'm still stuck on the ex.sheesh)

I just had another dream about her and I can't sleep. We stayed decent friends after she tore my heart out for another guy. She always wanted to stay friends and valued my friendship...I respected that. This summer though she just cut off contact and started acting different...it hurts. I keep having dreams about her because I can't bare the thought of her with another guy. In this dream she's at a party and I'm running to try to find her before she ends up with some guy in a room. Man it's pathetic. Over a year later and I'm still not over her, I still can't bare to hear about her with anyone else..I feel sort of pathetic. I guess I just wish she cared enough to still be good friends like we used to be, even after the break up. Anyway, these dreams are driving me insane, literally. I stopped going to sleep because they are so frequent. I need serious help.

About the shyness, this might sound odd and not make sense, but get a job in retail. I used to be super shy and wouldn't talk to anyone, then I applied to a retail job, got hired (and obviously you have to deal with tons of customers a day) and began the slow process of becoming less and less shy. I realized in order to keep my job I had to start communicating with my customers. After a while, the whole shy bit was completely gone. When you are put in an environment where you are forced to be open and outgoing, it changes you, trust me.

move your hands around her back and hips really slowly and softly and be sure to kiss her on the neck, most girls love that. Sometimes when I'm making out, it might be hardcore but I'll slow the kissing down and start to slowly kiss her, or even slowly kiss her bottom lip...sorta hard to explain cause it sounds weird on paper, you just gotta experiment.

I love vampyr's post. Why do all the beautiful women date and fall in love with the cheaters. That's what I'd like to know.

I agree with the above post. Guys can be really deceiving (I know I am one) so make sure his intentions are the ones you are looking for. Even if he is acting better

Hey, I'm in the exact same situation as you are so I feel like maybe I can help you a little bit. All I want to do is talk to my ex, hang out with her, be around her in general....but I haven't let myself do that for 2, going on 3 weeks now...and I feel better, albeit not THAT much better. I'm sure you also have that voice inside of you telling you how much you love her and telling you to keep trying...but I think i've realized that it's not worth it. The more you think and act upon those feelings the more you're going to get hurt (at least that's what happened to me) You'll probably still have feelings for your ex just like I will mine, for a long time, but in the end, realize that it is far better off to just cut contact completely and try to move on. That's what I'm doing.

This guy kind of seems like a jerk from what you've said. Why would he go on sex flings and like other people when he has you? I mean I'm not trying to put a downer on your day but I agree with the above post. Wait for him to come crawling back.

Its only been 3 months after the break up so this is what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that she isn't quite used to being without you yet and needs that old closeness feeling. I want to share with you a similar experience I had though. Ex broke up with me, I still had feelings for her, always will...so we did what you did, dinner, then fooled around. The thing is the fooling around just kept happening and my feeling came back again. I thought that maybe I had another chance but in the end, I foubnd out she was only doing it for "fun" and because she liked being close to me, but would never date me again. Eventually (actually recently) she stopped calling entirely and basically she decided there was no more use for me. End of story. Who knows what will happen down the road with you and her, but from my experience, fooling around is only going to bring you more pain.

I've been so close to what your about to do so I feel I should reply and tell you that from the sounds of it, your fiancee really loves you. Being afraid of marriage is a healthy and natural thing that will pass with time. The fact that he is afraid does not mean he doesn't love you...in fact, I bet he loves you more than you'll ever know. Don't make the mistake that I almost did because your fiancee loves you and I truly think that everything will end up ok in the end.

I feel kind of dumb doing this, but my brother and mother are never home and my friends don't listen to me...so I really have no one to talk about this. I'll try to make this story brief. I went out with this girl for like a year, we feel in love right away (serious love, not teenage love) anyway, nearing the one year she tells me she's not in love any more and thinks she likes some other guy (which she ends up dating) This pretty much killed me inside because I couldn't, and still can't look at any one else. So during school we didn't talk much, remained friends through because she considered me a good friend. The guy ends up breaking up with her because he's a dick...and around christmas time, we decide to fool around and just have a good time...of course this brings back reoccurring feelings and I die inside again. I decide to take a break from her, not talking to her at all and she got really upset about that, called me a bunch of times etc. Anyway, fastforward to present time, we decide once again to fool around because she says she loves being close to me and isn't comfortable to do that stuff with anyone but me. So we have been fooling around, but now i noticed in public that she won't even look at me, she says it's awkward and when we talk on the internet, she messages me, but when we talk she gives me one word answers and totally seems like she isn't into the convo at all...yet she still wants to fool around and be close. Anyway, I always see her at this bar, and it drives me nuts seeing her (ever meet someone so beautiful that it hurts to look at them?) I get so jealous and clearly one year since the break up hasn't healed me but I can't stop hanging out with her and fooling around cause I love being that close to her. Only thing that makes me happy. I just don't know what to do, people tell me to stop seeing her which I try, but I can't....she just doesnt give a rats ass about me anymore and all i want is a little respect for everything I've done for her. I try not talking to her but she doesnt care, I want her to care that she'd be losing someone close to her. It's sad that it has come to this, posting on some message board to strangers, but it was either this or something much worse which I have seriously contemplated. Everyone says I'll find someone better, but a years gone by, and all I can still do is think about her. This is really my last hope, no ones home to help me, no one is around to listen..this pain is unbearable and I'm certainly afriad of what I might do. This is just a desperate cry out to anyone. Thanks for reading this, I appriciate it more than anyone could understand.