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adidas7fire

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  1. adidas7fire
    Wow, that's kind of a tough question. Have you been totally upfront and honest with her, stating that sometimes you'd rather just have a guys' night out? Yes, it may be tough if she doesn't have many friends of her own but if she is understanding, she would not make a big deal out of it. Then again, you are doing good in the fact that you invite her to come along with you sometimes but it's completely understandable that sometimes you just want to hang with the ol' gang. Having a relationship with a person and having friends shouldn't have to be an issue -- it should be more like you enjoy both and your significant other enjoys the time they have with you. Yes, you should take time to spend with just her and time for just friends. This is what makes a relationship healthy... there will be times where you NEED to be away from your girlfriend and vice versa. But just be honest with her and tell her that she shouldn't overreact. I hope this helps. Good luck!
  2. adidas7fire
    Hey girl! You need to stop being so hard on yourself. This is only one guy and yes, I know that you were totally into him but you must face reality -- reality being that you two are apart and even attending two different schools. It's good that you are starting to hang around people even if it is just as friends. To be honest with you, friendship is the basis or foundation of any relationship. Don't make it seem like you are only interested in a relationship of being given a title of "girlfriend"... it has to have a bigger meaning than that. But I do know what you mean... how you can't get your mind off someone that you have spent so much time with and love to. Sometimes, it's just not fair but everything has a reason... as much as that might be cliche. Just continue what you are doing -- finding friends to hang out with, involve yourself with hobbies, and most likely someone will come accross that you didn't even know existed -- and believe me, that's one of the best feelings ever! So take it easy, don't rush love. You are young and there are plenty of guys that would be ecstatic to be involved with you. But do remember, always make it a point to keep communication the key to ANY type of relationship. Good luck!
  3. adidas7fire
    Not a problem! I have learned so much from that one incident and it has taught me how to look at life at different perspectives. Screw letting people take control of my feelings... I won't let that happen again. If someone is going to like a person, they need to like them for who they are, not anything else. But yes, I can understand how money may be tight but just make the best of it. You don't have to go out and "spend" money... take a walk in a park, clear your head, (as weird as it may sound, if you are feeling a lot of feelings, write it down... it helps); just take time (even if it's a while) for yourself. Definitely don't rush into anything! That's the worst mistake... I did that and man what a screw up! I'm sorry that your best friend moved away. But at least hopefully you guys can keep in touch. True friends will always be there for you, no matter their destination. And remember, starting from scratch doesn't always have to be a bad thing.
  4. adidas7fire
    Oh man, do I know what you are feeling. This happened to me about 2 years ago when I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with a close friend. He started turning the problem around on me saying that I was controlling and blah blah blah. It hurt so bad and it was even harder with the fact that we worked together. I was still nice to him but he just didn't want to give me the time of day. After realizing that I was being too hard on myself and others could see that, I boosted my self-esteem and starting doing all the things that I wasn't able to do prior to that relationship, like hang out with friends and go here and there. After a while, my mind would gradually stop thinking about what happened and I felt better. So basically, with what I have learned, don't dwell on what happened. Move on and do what you feel you'd like to do... go places you haven't been to or revisit those you like. Get involved in sports or hobbies. Just don't let it get you down and definitely don't make your ex think that what they have done is really bothering you -- that's what they want to see. Be strong and have faith in yourself. Believe me, it WILL get better. Now you know what you don't like in people and can only make the next relationship better. I hope that helps you. Feel free to PM or IM me... good luck!
  5. adidas7fire
    First, start with the mind. It's completely natural to have some sort of idea or fantasy on how a person wants to be in bed. What happens after that will only come naturally.. without you even having to think about it. Pleasure her by touching her and caressing her body. Use awesome body points such as the ears and neck and make your way down. These only intensifies her nerves and when you get to the clit, OMG, she won't know what hit her! But yeah, don't rush it. You enjoy and she'll enjoy it. Look into her eyes as you gently stroke her body and eventually just the look will tell you what's bound to happen next! Good luck.
  6. adidas7fire
    I had posted something similar as a matter of fact. I just couldn't get my mind off other chicks that my boyfriend had dated and it bothered me to no end. But what I realized is that he was with me now, cared for me, and loved me for who I was and not acting to be. We talk about our feelings and anything that may be potentially a problem and that seems to have worked very well -- we couldn't be happier! Yes, to be honest with you though, I believe it's natural for a chick to be jealous if her significant other eyeballs other chicks. As some might find it disrespectful, I guess it really depends on just how he looks at them or whatnot. I mean, if he's with you and sees another chick and stops and makes some sort of comment like "she's hottt!!! -- totally unacceptable. A guy must have respect for his woman and vice versa. So don't think you have any problem with feeling the slightest bit jealous... it's only natural but you must have confidence in yourself that your significant other is into you and only you. And if you are having issues with that, talk to him and tell him. A relationship can only get better is communciation is involved. I speak from experience! Good luck!
  7. adidas7fire
    PrincessLinzay, Thank you so much. I actually found a book under his bed titled "203 ways to drive a man wild in bed" that I have been reading and one of the things that you said was to have confidence in myself and that was the second secret in the book. I really do realize that I have somewhat a problem with that but in order to make him happy, I also have to make some changes in my life. And this would be a good start. But yes, you are right -- he is with ME now and that is all that should matter. I guess it wouldn't matter in the fact that he is the only one that I think about at that time and so I would figure that the feeling would be mutual. Thanks again for your input... I really appreciate it!
  8. adidas7fire
    I have kind of a strange question for you guys... but let me give you a little history first. I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now and we just starting making love. We knew it would happen when the time was right and so, when the time came, we were more than ecstatic. It wasn't until about an hour later when I started questioning myself as to whether the performance was good enough or if he even thought about me as we engaged in this. My mind started going nuts about whether he compared me to his past girlfriend and whether she was better than me, blah blah blah. It's been driving me nuts so my question to you is how are some ways that you might keep the past of your significant other as the past? I guess one of the reasons I continue to question such things is because when I was with my ex, I had asked him if he ever thought about another chick when he was making love to me and he said "yes" and from that point on, I cannot get that out of my head. I know that each person is different but if you have ANY suggestions on how I can just be happy with who I am and who I am with, please PLEASE let me know. I love my boyfriend too much to let this be a factor that may eventually cause conflicts in our communication or ultimately tear us apart. Thanks to all!
  9. adidas7fire
    To be honest with you, I would probably say that he has some issues with himself to figure out and just maybe he didn't want you to have to endure in those problems and couldn't find a way to tell you. That is what I am getting from the information that you provided. Who knows though... maybe he is waiting til after Valentine's Day to relay the unfortunate knows or is afraid to say something in regrets that it may hurt your feelings. But I do know this -- communication is the key to any type of relationship and if he couldn't even be open and honest with you, why feel the need to do it for him? It's not fair to you or him. But congrats on contributing to yourself feeling better and more confident... it's a great start! If you don't hear it from him, have a Happy Valentine's Day anyways.
  10. adidas7fire
    I totally agree with PrincessLinzay. If he is over you, it shouldn't matter if you are with another person. What should really matter is that you are making yourself happy instead of worrying about if someone else is happy (just my opinion). It is not of his (or his friends') business what you do... I mean, if you volunteer the info, that's different. But yes, I would probably hold off on contact with your ex because it may only get worse, if you know what I mean. Just be happy... with yourself AND with your new beau!
  11. adidas7fire
    If she is not even willing to talk to you about yall's relationship, then you might want to take a good look and see whether or not YOU want to continue something that the other person may not. Why make yourself available and not have it reciprocated? That just doesn't seem fair, especially considering that communication is the key to any type of relationship.
  12. adidas7fire
    leahnicole, That's a superb idea! I appreciate your input! Happy V-day to you and your loved ones!
  13. adidas7fire
    Sorry dude... I have no idea what a Rolo is except for the candy.
  14. adidas7fire
    This is the first Valentine's Day that I am celebrating with my boyfriend. We kind of agreed not to do anything for that day as far as spending an extravagant amount of money on each other but I would get him something regardless. I am currently having some trouble coming up with ideas on little things that I could do for him. He's 24 and I'm 22 and cards 'n candy just aren't my style. I like to do something more that's from the heart that shows him how much I love him, yada yada yada. If you have ANY ideas on what I could do, please let me know. Whether it be past experiences or things you've seen, I'd love to hear them. Thanks!
  15. adidas7fire
    OMG! You guys had some very good aspects and perspectives on the matter and I greatly appreciate your inputs. In my heart I know that I would be making the right choice. Yes, even though we have been a "couple" for only about 4 months, we have known each other for over a year. I know that this is the guy I want to marry and yes, that has been brought up as well but we plan to continue with that issue after he graduates college shortly. I have also asked some of my closest friends and of course I expected opposite opinions. One of my friends says I shouldn't do it because it's too soon in the relationship yet another one says to do what I feel is right since we only live once. Ugh, decisions decisions. I know that no one can tell me what I should do -- only offer advice on what the pros and cons are, and I thank all of you.
  16. adidas7fire
    Here's the situation: my boyfriend and I have talked about moving in together and we are both down for the idea. However, I am afraid to tell my parents that we plan to do this... only because I know they will be disappointed with my decision. My mom comes from a culture (Thai) where they follow tradition to the last bit... and she believes that a couple should be married before anything of the such takes place. However, this is my life and I want to be able to make my own decisions and make myself happy. I am 23 years old now and it wasn't until about 3 months ago where I was finally able to move out of their house without being given the "you should being doing this and that" speech. I just want them to be happy with who I am and respect the decisions I make. I know that my dad will be understanding once I explain the perks of moving in together but it's my mom that I know I am going to have a tough time trying to see my point of view. It's already hard enough being an only child. Does anyone have any advice on how I can come accross this issue in a timely and fashionable manner without my parents jumping to conclusions? I would greatly appreciate any comments. Thank you!
  17. adidas7fire
    I'm no expert in this field but being a chick, I can tell you a few things that I look for in a guy... personality, sense of humor, trust, honesty, compassion, ability to listen and to be listened to (communication is VERY important), and things of this nature. Get to know the girl before jumping ship. Establish a friendship, find out things she is interested in but don't go overboard because it may come accross as being too obsessive. Ultimately, you need to follow your heart and where it leads you -- no one person can say what you should or should not do. I hope this helps and good luck!
  18. adidas7fire
    Yes, I have been in the same boat. I thought that the physical attraction was the most important (at a younger age) but as I grew more mature and wiser, I realized that for me, I had to really look for personality and inner beauty, as some would call it. I know that for a fact, I could not date anyone that I did not have a friendship established with because there would have been no foundation to make a relationship grow on. But I think it really depends on what YOU are looking for in a person... some look for a sense of humor, others personality, some just a person to pass the time with.... you need to find out what YOU want and go from there. Don't just settle for the first thing that comes your way. Good luck!
  19. adidas7fire
    Hi there. I'm not sure why you feel apt to sleep with knives next to you at night but as long as they stay where they are, there is no harm done. The moment you lay a finger on one, that harm has begun. I don't know what has gone on in the past (or what's happening presently) in your life but I can tell you from experience, suicide is not the way to go. After 3 attempts in my own life, I now realize that I have so much more to live for than to have taken my own life and regret it during afterlife. The suicide attempts were out of anger and uncertainty that I was dealing with at the time -- the last attempt coincidentally including a knife but with the point positioned directing over my heart, I just couldn't find the nerve to pull it towards me. My point of all this is... take a look around you... think about not only yourself and how unfair it would be to you but to also the people that care about you. Yeah, you may think "no one will notice me gone" and things of that nature but believe me, you'll be more wrong than you know. It takes a strong willpower to follow through but an even stronger willpower to let things be (or make them better). Good luck and if you need someone to relate/talk to, feel free to PM me.
  20. adidas7fire
    Hey there, I completely understand where you are coming from and why you may have doubts. In a way, it's a good thing that you two are spending time apart because that shows the both of you (well, you for sure) how much she means to you. I know that a few months ago I broke up with my bf that I thought could have been the one but unfortunately he had to move to another state for college. I knew that the long distance factor was going to be crucial to the relationship so we decided to end it mutually and remain friends (which I know in some cases doesn't always work out). My point is, you must follow your heart and see where it leads you. Have you told her how you feel as far as when you two are apart? A year and a half is definitely a long time to be together yet is a wonderful thing, yes I know. But think about this -- you may feel as though she is your soulmate but if she doesn't feel the same way about you, that's just not fair. I honestly believe that everything should be a two-way street and not a one-way detour if you know what I mean. So, basically take this time that you are given to enjoy what you want to do. Don't blame yourself for anything that had happened -- that's for damn sure! Good luck!
  21. adidas7fire
    I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months. When I was talking to him (even though I knew what this conversation was about), I felt just fine, I knew that we were about to break things off because of his moving away and because I would be here... there would be new opportunities for the both of us. Right before I got home, we were joking around and accepted to mutually let things go and remain friends. But now, as I sit here, about to go to bed, tears fill my eyes and my heart is aching so bad; it's like reality just kicked in now and not the time that I was with him. He is still a huge part of my soul and I guess what I'm feeling is a part of it missing. I know that only time heals the heart but how can I go from just fine and friendly to heartbreak city? I don't understand it. If you have ANY encouraging words, please let me know. Anything would help right about now. Thanks.
  22. adidas7fire
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 months now. We have been facing a tough dilemma -- in less than a month, he's going to be moving away to college in TN. (Here's some background info: he's 19, starting a new college and I'm 22, just about to graduate in a few months.) Anyways, these last few days, he's been acting differently and it's so apparent. He blames it on stress (which I'm sure is a factor but not the total reason) yet I'm the one that gets the jerkish attitude. There are things that he doesn't do anymore that he would normally do (even including showing affection like hugging me or kissing me). We had decided a while ago that once he left for TN, we were just going to be friends because the chances of both of us finding new people to become romantically involved with is better than none. Yet, we agreed to always stay friends regardless of where we are at or who we are with. Yeah, that's easy to say at a time like this but when the mutual breakup does happen, I don't think that staying friends will be just that easy. I'm sure there will need to be some time for separation but I don't know. Basically, my question is why do guys just out of the blue quit doing certain things and act like the way they do, as if no one will notice, even the person they've been dating for a while? It's all the little things that are getting to me, things that constantly drive me nuts, yet it seems like there are barely any answers to fulfill my questions that I write here or the ones that are floating in oblivion in my head/heart. What's your opinion?
  23. adidas7fire
    I've been there, done that. The best thing to do is let yourself heal. I know you've heard it time and time again but it really does help if you don't sit around and wait to see if she calls.. that will only drive you crazy. Hang out with friends, do things that you want to do, hobbies, etc... just don't sit back and wonder if it was something that you did wrong. That was my biggest mistake so I am making you aware of that now. If she does want to remain friends, then great but make sure that you both are on the same page as far as the "relationship" goes. Also, don't let her see that it's killing you inside -- show that the situation doesn't bother you. It will be tough but in the end, you'll see why. Like the saying goes, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." Good luck and hope this helps!
  24. adidas7fire
    I know what you mean, Ember. My bf is moving to another state for college and I'm afraid of facing the future... whether to call it quits now or to live it out until we HAVE to break up. I guess you could say that we are in the same boat. I mean, I work and go to summer classes everyday and only get to see him on the weekends because of time constraints yet we are happy and chillin when we're together. But you know, don't just break up with him if he's just going to be gone for a short period of time. But do analyze your relationship -- if there is anyone else that sparks your interest or you may become involved with in the future, don't lead your bf on. It's not fair to you and it won't be fair to him. But if the both of you are happy together, then take that to its full advantage and enjoy it. I hope that makes sense.
  25. adidas7fire
    Thanks for your input. We did talk and got some things straightened out which makes things a little better to deal with. I think we are going to give the LDR a try.. and like you said, I don't want to see back one day and wonder "what if"... I do that too much already... with different things. I don't need to add to the list... lol. But like I told him, no matter where we are or what we are doing, we'll always be friends. Life is full of uncertainties and not knowing what lies ahead is definitely one of them. But as long as he is happy, then as am I. No pain, no gain, right?
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